Catch My Breath

by Wendy L. Wilson

  Fifteen minutes into the party and the drama I was trying to avoid swooshes clear past me, landing face first into Evan’s lap.

  “I’m outta here! I am not going to stay here and let her punish me for something I can’t change! See ya later, Alyssa.” Evan storms out and I have no clue what just happened.

  I glance over to Piper, clearly pissed off herself, then back to Alyssa.

  “I’ll be right back,” I say, racing through the door on Evan’s heels. “Hey wait a minute. What happened?”

  He spins around with his arms folded over his chest as the door snaps shut behind me. His nostrils are flared and his brows are drawn down, crinkling the skin above his nose as he casts me a look I’ve only seen when he has to deal with his brother.

  “The same thing that always happens. I screwed up one time … one time and she is fully prepared to punish me for it for life. I just wish she knew …”

  He throws his arm out, flinging his hand in the direction of the door. The pain in his eyes is evident; he’s not pissed at her. I know to not even bother asking about what happened in their past, he won’t budge on that topic.

  “Just go in the opposite direction as her tonight,” I suggest, knowing good and well that there is no way he will come back inside.

  This summer was torture enough for him seeing her for two weeks. The only reason he didn’t bolt then is because he was on a job and his grandfather was depending on him.

  “No way!” He shakes his head rapidly enough that he may give himself whiplash, but then goes on, “She hates me. I know she hates me and I can’t do a damn thing about it.” His expression turns pained as he throws his hands to his sides and looks down to the ground. With a heavy sigh, he looks back up in an angry glare. “I just … I mean, this is killing …”

  My whole body tenses, watching him struggle with this. I’ve rarely ever seen Evan get emotional over anything. I open my mouth to talk, but he quickly holds his hand up.

  “Just go have fun and I’m going to head home. I’ll see ya later.” With that, he shoves his hands in his pocket and walks away, looking defeated in every way.

  “See ya,” I say quietly.

  I want to stop him and find out what on earth she has over him, but in the end I understand. Knowing that Alyssa’s ex slept with Bethany is something I don’t dare tell a soul before she finds out herself. Some things are better left unsaid.

  Sliding back through the door into a sea of sweaty vampires, slutty nurses and extremely under-dressed super heroes, I immediately spot Alyssa in the middle of the chaos looking around as the music slows down.

  A dozen steps or so and my chest is pressed against her back with my hands resting on her hips. Using my chin, I nudge her hair to the side so that I don’t have to let go of her then slide my face up to her neck. Her skin is moist with the fragrance of strawberries mixed with the slight scent of sweat, which has never smelled sweeter.

  “Were you leaving before I could dance with you?” I whisper, my lips barely grazing the smooth flesh of her ear.

  I pull her tighter, my arms crisscrossed around her with my palms resting on the slick surface of her belt. Her body goes slack in my arms and with a deep breath, the weight of her breasts fall upon my wrists before she flips around to look into my eyes.

  “More like, I was going to find you and drag your butt out here with me.” She lets out a laugh, casually snaking her arms around my neck and melting into me as I pull her closer.

  The curve of her body pieced perfectly with mine, detonates a scorching flame deep inside me and rouses every limb and nerve within me.

  “So, how much more of an appearance do we need to make before we can turn this into a private party?” Alyssa giggles, her body shaking against mine and sending my insides into a frenzy.

  Biting the edge of her lip, she looks upward through thick coal black eyelashes as if she’s contemplating my words. Please let her say we can leave. Looking back into my eyes and moving in closer to my lips as the music switches to a fast-paced song, I can already tell from her body language that I’ve lost this battle.

  “Let’s stay a little while longer and I’ll make it worth your while later.”

  Her eyes sparkle and glimmer as she speaks, having the opposite effect on me that I believe she is hoping for. Saying something like that is not going to calm my racing pulse and hammering heartbeat.

  “Mmmhmm … You said that yesterday, too.” I raise my eyebrows and flick my head to the side, giving her a sideways glance and trying to hide my ridiculous smile.

  “And didn’t I make it worth your while last night?”

  Well worth my while, I think wiggling my eyebrows. Throwing her head back into a fit of laughter, I am presented with the perfect opportunity to dive in and feast on her neck, and I do. I don’t care who’s around. She giggles and squeals as I nibble on her skin and sway to the music.

  Bass thumps through the floorboards beneath our feet and a steady vibration of loud music fills our eardrums, but we still never break away or quicken the pace of our movement. We are the only two on the dance floor.

  After three more songs and once my body seems as if it’s glued to hers from the intense body heat encompassing us, I’m suddenly unhitched from Alyssa by Abby’s small frame slamming into me. She giddily slides over, shifting her shoulders and hips to create a good-sized gap between us. I drop one arm to allow the interruption, although I really don’t want to break away from the secluded trance Alyssa and I have been in for the past ten to fifteen minutes.

  “Get your ass over here and dance with me,” Abby stumbles over her words as she speaks.

  I lean back a little more still keeping one hand on Alyssa’s elbow as she raises her arms in the air and starts to bounce to the beat with her sister.

  “You dance and I’ll go get us another drink,” I holler over the music, leaning over Abby into Alyssa’s ear.

  “I’ll take care of her,” Abby slurs to me as I back away, dazzled by Alyssa as she lets loose and has fun.

  Abby shoots me a wink with her words and I laugh. I don’t think she is on the same wave-length as us, deciding not to drink, but it’s good to see them both be able to enjoy themselves after months of worry and fear. They aren’t out of the woods yet and my heart pinches at the thought of how this year could end for them. I hope I’m wrong.

  Spinning around, I bump into the kitchen bar which is draped in a black table cloth and littered with knocked over cups, half empty liquor bottles, plastic spiders and of course, the high maintenance party platters that look like they were recently involved in a hit and run. So much for the beauty of finger food. Scooping up one of the empty plastic cups, my eyes scan the counter in search of something mild that Alyssa would like.

  “Judd, hey,” a voice calls out from across the room and has me halting in my search.

  Craning my neck around with my hands planted on the bar, I find a couple guys sitting at the kitchen table looking at me expectantly; one of them is Alyssa’s ex. Great! Now knowing that not only did he cheat on Alyssa but he had the audacity to screw her best friend then not fess up when she was deciding to move in with her, has me infuriated.

  “Come over here,” some beefed up looking jock sitting across from him waves me over.

  Not particularly fond of having a one-on-one with Alyssa’s ex, yet still curious with what they want, I turn and walk over to the table.

  “Hey,” the ‘supposed boyfriend’ from this summer says, “I’m Kyle.” He puts his hand out to shake, but I just stare at it, gritting my teeth.

  “I know who you are.” Tossing the cup onto the table, I take a seat. If he wants to talk, we’ll talk, but he should not expect for me to be polite and gracious for the invite.

  Clearing his throat, he slowly lowers his hand and glances at his friend.

  “Oh yeah, I’m Hayden.” He holds his hand over the table, but this time I reciprocate, grasping his hand in a firm hand-shake while glaring at Kyle.

  Kyl
e flinches slightly, obviously perturbed by my blatant disrespect, but then goes on to explain why they called me over.

  “So our coach had us sit through two hours of old football videos yesterday. One game was Rosemore High’s final game that sent them to state this past year. I hear you were the quarterback.” He raises his eyebrows in question, but I remain silent. “Well, coach had some great things to say about you and was not happy that you have thrown in the towel.”

  Now I flinch, squeezing my eyes shut for only a second as an image of blurred trees flying past me and the sounds of crunching metal flickers through my mind.

  “You were hard-core out on the field, man,” Hayden joins in, bringing my attention over to him.

  “Yeah, correct me if I'm wrong but I believe that was the game after we kicked Fairview's ass,” I say, looking back at Kyle with a stone cold serious face and wanting desperately to treat him like the low-life he truly is. “Hey, weren't you the quarterback that year?" I add with a bit of a smirk as I say the last part, hoping he catches my not-so-chummy tone.

  I really have no desire to be friends with him. He stole my entire summer from me. If being cocky about how I kicked his ass in every game the last three years is the only way I can take him down a notch or two, then so be it.

  Kyle lets out a low chuckle and looks me right in the eye. "Yeah, that’s right,” he says slowly and for a second I think he isn’t going to retaliate. “So, why did you quit playing? That's got to suck." He casts me a smirk on his last words. Well played, asshole.

  “Yeah, it does suck,” I reply in a low tone. Even with a bum shoulder, I could still kick your ass.

  "I had a wreck this summer that basically crushed any hopes of me ever playing again."

  Surprisingly enough, all humor fades from his face at my words. “That's too bad, man. Heard you were one hell of a player. Could have gone pro from the way it sounds. Sorry to hear about the wreck … I had no idea.”

  I want to holler out, “Yeah, asshole … that wreck happened days before you declared to me that you were her boyfriend … that’s when I needed her by my side and she needed me by hers, but thanks to you, it didn’t happen.” I want to so bad, but I don’t, instead I keep it civil, yet keep an underlying message behind my words.

  "Yeah, well it worked out for the best." I say, fully talking about getting Alyssa back.

  He shrugs, his eyes wandering over to Alyssa. A sting of jealousy bolts through me and I really want to slam him to the ground and warn him that he is never getting her back, because I don’t intend on throwing it away like he did.

  “So you and Alyssa, huh?”

  I have no idea where he wants this conversation to go with that remark, but he is skating on thin ice.

  “Yeah me and Alyssa,” I say through a tensed jaw while glaring at him.

  Obviously uncomfortable with our turn of subject, Hayden stands to leave. “I’m going to go get a drink.”

  “Listen, since you brought it up, I have a question.”

  Kyle’s face immediately flashes with the look of guilt and remorse as if he knows exactly what I’m about to ask. He’s probably right, too. There’s only one thing I’ve ever cared to discuss with him, until recently at least.

  “You want to explain to me why the hell you thought you could lie about being with her when I called this summer?”

  He doesn’t try to avoid the conversation like the coward I thought he was, instead he looks me dead in the eye and doesn’t look away.

  “Yeah that was a jerk thing for me to do and honestly, I hate that I screwed you over like that and hurt her in the process, but …” He looks back at her out on the dance floor.

  She’s huddled up between Abby and Piper, swinging her arms in the air and flipping her hair around wildly. Any other time, I would be consumed with desire and longing when I look at her, but right now all I can think about is how her chest is bubbling out of her dresses, how her skirt is raised up on her sweaty thigh and how he is soaking it all in, one eyeful at a time.

  His voice bounces me out of my thoughts as he finishes his sentence, “… wouldn’t you have done the same thing in my shoes? I mean, it’s Alyssa.” He looks back at me and I’m truly about to lose it. “I know how amazing she is and I felt threatened. Most people would have done the same.”

  Leaning forward towards Kyle, I lower my voice, “First off Kyle, keep the stares to a minimum. Second, no I would not have done the same. None of it, because I do know how amazing she is, so I wouldn’t have screwed someone else behind her back and when she finally found happiness I wouldn’t have tried to snatch it away. Finally, if I finally found myself lucky enough to call myself her friend, I’d come clean and tell her the one piece of the puzzle that she doesn’t know.” I stare him down and for once, he squirms in his seat, looking uneasy and guilty. He knows what I’m talking about.

  Clearing his throat, he gives me a conquered look with a sadness to his eyes, his brows creases at the center and his lips shift back and forth as if he’s nervously biting the inside of his lip.

  “Ok, I know I screwed up any chance of us getting off on the right foot. I also know I screwed up with her.” He points to Alyssa, which is now over by the counter with Abby and Piper. “But I'm not so much of an asshole that I can't appreciate the fact that she seems to be truly happy. I do care about her and that's all I really want. Obviously you make her happy and I'm good with that. Let's just bury the hatchet. Is that possible?”

  He makes no attempt to explain why he never told Alyssa about Bethany, but he also did not try to deny that he is in the wrong. I continue to glare at him, trying to figure out what to say. Honestly, I’m half convinced he was sincere, but still not ready to go pick out friendship bracelets. I’ll ‘bury the hatchet’ so long as he keeps his distance.

  HAYDEN RETURNED, SCOOTING OUT the chair adjacent from Kyle and scraping the legs over the floor in a sharp sound.

  “So what are we doing? We should get a drinking game going.”

  Kyle nods his head and then looks to me with a small grin.

  “Judd, you in for quarters?”

  “I really don’t know if I should. We agreed not to drink too much tonight in case we would need to leave suddenly,” I explain as Alyssa walks up and slides into my lap.

  A spark of pride in the fact that she so easily made a claim for me in front of him settles into the pit of my stomach as I pull her as close as possible. For a minute, Kyle looks at my arms clasped around her waist and a flicker of jealousy flashes in his eyes, but then it’s gone. He nods his head in understanding.

  “Gotcha,” he answers, catching Alyssa’s attention.

  “What were you two talking about?”

  I begin to answer on only part of the conversation, but Kyle beats me to it, obviously having the same plan in mind.

  “Football, then I challenged him to a game of quarters.” He casts me a look and I nod in agreement.

  Abby settles up beside us along with a couple others and, after reassurance that it’s ok to drink, we quickly get neck deep in a game of quarters. Unfortunately, I’ve never indulged much in party drinking games, so I hit a losing streak from the get go. At first, I’m tossing the shots back one after another with very little effect, but by the sixth one it’s as if all the alcohol moves from my throat like a lead weight into my chest, making me sway slowly in my chair. Alyssa manages to sail through with very little drinks.

  Little by little, everyone disappears, leaving Alyssa and I side-by-side with a full bottle of vodka and a new made up game surfacing in my mind.

  “We each have to think up a statement that is true about ourselves, but the catch is that we try to come up with something we’ve never told each other. If the statement you throw out is in fact something I don’t know, I drink, but if it is something I do know, you drink. Kind of a get-to-know-each-other-even-better type of game. Sound easy enough?” I explain.

  “Kind of like truth or dare?” Alyssa looks a little confused or,
maybe, she’s staring at me with her forehead crinkled up because my words are all starting to slur together.

  My mood is upbeat and my mind seems clear, yet it is swirling around like dust in a sandstorm. I note how steady my hand seems as I pour a small amount of vodka in each of our shot glasses.

  Looking back at her, I try my best to clear up her confusion, “Yeah, but without the dare.” Although, this could get interesting if we added a dare, more so if there wasn’t anyone else here. “I’ll go first. I was so drunk when I lost my virginity that I didn’t remember anything about it the next morning.”

  I know without a doubt that I never told her this critical detail of my first time.

  “I knew you were drunk when you lost it, but I didn’t know that you didn’t remember it. So, like you didn’t even know who the girl was the next day?”

  I laugh at her shock, though if my mind wasn’t spinning, I would be embarrassed. “Ah ah … no questions during this game just random facts. You drink.”

  She quickly throws back a shot back like it’s water then paints on a mischievous grin that I’ve never seen before. I may be in trouble.

  “I’ve fantasized about you on more than one occasion,” she delivers while leaning forward so that I can have perfect view down her dress. Oh geez … I think this party needs to be ending very soon.

  Her words come out matter-of-factly, gaining an immediate reaction from my body. Holy shit! My chest tightens, my heart thuds loudly, and my nearly numb limbs suddenly feel very capable and eager.

  “You mean you … you …” I cannot even form the words through the extremely vivid image I have floating through my head. I drink without hesitation. Now I have a whole new dream to keep me company when we are not together.

  For my turn, I decide to answer her initial question and keep it simple. I’ll save the more shocking confessions for later.

  “No, I did not know who she was the next day, but she did show up at my house and discussed with Tristan about how good I was. Most humiliating moment of my life.”