Hollywood Princess

by Dana Aynn Levin

  After Saturday’s afternoon of bliss, Danny became distant. We spent time alone only when Danny drove me home early from The Cellar. Danny had waited in the living room while I changed into pajamas. After taking my medication, he departed with a quick hug and a platonic kiss. The message couldn’t be clearer.

  Sunday afternoon I learned that Danny later accompanied Duncan to a party at The Village, a housing enclave for upper-classmen with the reputation as the place where drugs and sex flowed as freely as tapped beer. Cam divulged that Danny had partaken in all that had been offered including the affections of a girl whose name he didn’t reveal.

  Knives pierced my heart. My suspicions confirmed. Drugs and easy sex were Danny’s antidote to his new affections for me.

  That evening, using my ankle as an excuse, it was easy to cancel our study date. I couldn’t face Danny. I was embarrassed, and I felt used.

  Monday afternoon I cancelled Danny again when I met with my advisor.

  Tuesday, I avoided him.

  Wednesday we spoke for the first time since I’d cancelled on Sunday.

  “How was your meeting with your advisor?” he asked.

  Danny sounded sincere, but if he cared, why had it taken two days to ask? I had only a moment to decide if I wanted an argument.

  I brushed it off, though I answered curtly. “Fine. The meeting was fine.”

  “Eli?” Danny asked, morphing into Mr. Emphathetic.

  “It’s too late in the term for me to add a class. I’ll need to take maximum credits through next year.”

  “Oh, baby,” Danny acknowledged, understanding my disappointment. He cradled me in his arms. “I’ll help you, Eli. I’m always here for you.”

  “Are you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Always,” Danny said in an emphatic tone that challenged my doubts.

  I let him hold me. The worn denim of his jacket was soft. It held the faint aroma of his cologne; warm, musky and masculine. Danny was cozy too; a sharp contrast to the blustery day. I smiled, content as a kitten.

  The girl from The Village would never have this.

  At the library we settled into adjacent seats at a corner table. Danny wanted to get an early start on his economics term paper and needed space to spread out. I was at a loss over what to do. The library had been Danny’s plan, not mine. I opened a notebook hoping for inspiration.

  “Hey,” Danny said in a hushed voice. He leaned so his lips were beside my ear. His breath brushed my cheek causing my spine to tingle. “I’m off to the stacks.”

  “I’ll come too. The computer lab is downstairs, too.” I decided to read optional articles for Professor Denison. With my laptop in my room, I needed to print hard copies today.

  My ankle made taking the elevator from the third floor to the basement mandatory. Few students used the library elevator that crawled like a tortoise.

  I leaned back against the interior railing and the silver metal doors slowly closed. Danny towered over me and pressed his hands against the wall at my shoulders. He gave me the sexy, impish smile that always made my heart flutter and I blushed.

  Danny’s smile intensified. His eyes twinkled at maximum intensity. He bent toward me, his hand skimming my cheek to tilt my face upward. I covered his hand with my own. Then Danny’s lips met mine, and we shared a furtive kiss.

  As the elevator settled into its landing, our lips parted. We shared a smile, enjoying the moment. Our hands slipped apart. Another private smile and we stepped out of the elevator. Danny’s infectious little boy grin made me giggle as it sent my heart soaring and I kept my eyes glued to him as we went in opposite directions.

  Danny knew he had me. He knew I had him too.

  I was elated. I glowed, both inside and out. Every inch of me tingled in anticipation.

  Taking a step backward, I nearly lost my footing.

  “Watch where you’re going!” A male voice jarred me back to reality as I bumped into something that was both soft and hard at the same time.

  I pivoted and care face-to-face with the student the voice came from. Embarrassed, heat rose in my cheeks.

  “Sorry,” I muttered.

  “No wonder your foot’s in a cast. You’re too busy watching your boyfriend,” he snarled.

  “I said I’m… boyfriend?” He must have seen me come off the elevator with Danny. “He’s not my boyfriend,” I clarified.

  “Well it looked that way,” he answered. Then his voice and demeanor softened. “I’m Greg Alexander.”

  When he smiled, soft brown eyes peeking out from straight brown hair that needed a trim, crinkled in delight. Greg wasn’t handsome, but a dimpled smile made him appealing.

  “Elizabeth Jacobs,” I replied. “Nice bumping into you,” I added with a giggle.

  I found Danny pouring over musty leather-bound books when I returned with the two articles I had printed.

  “It must be crowded in the computer room,” he commented without looking up from his work.

  The room was not crowded, but I had spent nearly an hour with Greg. Upon learning that Danny was not my boyfriend, Greg had become friendly and talkative.

  “I did some socializing too,” I answered, and I flushed.

  Why did I feel guilty? All I’d done was engage in a casual conversation. I glanced past my reading materials, across to Danny who was taking notes. He’d had sex with a girl on Saturday night. Danny did feel guilty.

  What the hell was wrong with me? I deserved better. No self-respecting heroine in a Miranda Jordan movie would put up with this. Why should I?

  I stared at Danny with new resolve. No longer would I allow him to touch or kiss me. No more of this ambiguous nonsense. If Danny wanted these privileges, then he should be my boyfriend. Until then, I was a single girl and I would broadcast it to the world.

  Danny caught me starring and raised an eyebrow. Amused, he flashed his megawatt smile. Butterflies flitted in my stomach. I couldn’t help it. That smile always melted my heart.

  Be strong, Elizabeth. Without thinking, I returned my own megawatt smile. Instantly I regretted it. I already felt like a failure.

  CHAPTER 19 - ELIZABETH

  Early Saturday evening found me in my room primping when a quick knock came upon the suite door.

  “Come in,” Rachel shouted and the suite door opened and closed in quick succession.

  “Who is it, Rach?” I called. I was not able to discern the voice of our visitor over the volume of both my hair blower and iTunes.

  “It’s him,” she answered.

  Oh, no! I snapped the blower off.

  “Give me a few,” I called back. “I’m almost ready.”

  I needed to put on make-up and jewelry. Greg was picking me up to go to a movie. Yes! I was going on a real life, genuine date. What better way to demonstrate that I was single than to go out with a man who wasn’t Danny? What better way to show Danny, too!

  “Almost ready for what?” Danny asked, appearing in my doorway. Lately he had developed the habit of showing up unannounced. Usually I welcomed him; not tonight.

  My heart skipped a beat, both relieved that it wasn’t Greg, and uneasy that Danny was watching me primp for another man.

  “I have a date,” I answered as I looked in the mirror and applied mascara.

  “A date! Eli, what kind of date?” Danny asked, taken by surprise.

  “The kind where I go out with a man who isn’t you,” I answered. Then I reached for my necklace. “It’s really not your business, Daniel.”

  Flustered, I fumbled with the simple gold chain I was trying to clasp around my neck.

  “Here, let me,” he offered.

  Danny came up behind me and took the chain from my hands. He sharply inhaled my light floral cologne while his fingertips brushed my neck. Danny expertly fastened the clasp, and I shivered from his touch. Bastard! He knew that I would. Danny’s smirk reflected in the mirror.

  “Anyone I know?” he asked.

  Danny might be playing with me, b
ut clearly he was shaken. I felt guilty. No! I shook my head to free it of emotion. That’s what Danny wanted. I couldn’t let him ruin my evening.

  I took Danny’s hands and kissed his cheek. “You’re always telling me to find a boyfriend. This is a first date. I have to start somewhere,” I smiled sweetly.

  “Danny.” Rachel had entered the room. “Let’s go out,” she said. “Give Elizabeth her space.”

  CHAPTER 20 - DANIEL

  Rachel was right. I needed to get out of Elizabeth’s room and fast. Part of me wanted to see what kind of guy Eli would have a date with, but a much larger part wanted to throttle him.

  I was ill thinking some guy I didn’t know might be touching Eli and maybe even kissing her luscious lips.

  Of course I was a hypocrite. Since the start, I had been telling Eli to find a boyfriend, but the thought that she might actually get one tortured my gut.

  I had deliberately embraced her. I could have said, “see you tomorrow” from across the room, but it was important to touch her. I crushed Eli against me and held her hands. I left her no choice but to inhale my scent, imprinting it in her memory.

  “See you tomorrow,” I whispered, my breath purposely stroking her ear.

  Eli gasped and shuddered as I knew she would. Then, despite the glare she was attempting, I delicately brushed my lips against hers. The pleasure was apparent in her eyes.

  “Have a good time, Sweetheart,“ I tossed out while arrogantly smirking. “Let’s go, Rach,” I said triumphantly.

  I had just ruined any chance Eli had of enjoying her date. Eli would be spending the evening with mystery man and all her thoughts would be of me.

  As the elevator door slid closed behind us, my smirk turned into the wildest grin. “I am one sick puppy,” I said.

  “I’m glad you know it,” Rachel responded.

  Eventually Rachel and I found our way to The Cellar. Earlier, we had attended a program of silent films being sponsored by the film department. As a major, I’m supposed to be interested in the history of the art form I am now presumably devoting my life to. Having already devoted every moment of my life since birth to the industry, I feel entitled to proclaim that I do not, and probably never will, like silent films, Charlie Chaplin and Harold Lloyd excluded.

  To make matters worse, professors were in attendance. I had to actually pay attention when I really wanted to zone-out and spend the time quietly contemplating life. Even Rachel would have agreed if I’d run it by her.

  My life badly needed contemplating. Alas, deep thinking would have to wait. The family reputation was on the line. Steven Newman’s son had to be properly impressive during the Q&A that followed the screenings. It was expected.

  At The Cellar, I quickly downed two beers while Rachel nursed her first. A cute blonde in tight jeans walked by our table and smiled at me.

  “Hi, Danny,” she said with a musical lilt and blew me a kiss.

  “Hi,” I responded lethargically, and she walked by. “Rach, do I know that girl?”

  “How would I know? She certainly seems to know you though.”

  My brain kicked into high gear trying to figure out how the girl knew me. It was impossible. I knew too many girls and lately they all seemed to be blondes.

  Rachel observed me thinking and laughed. “If you want to be with her I won’t be offended. It’s not like I’m your date.”

  “Rachel, are you, of all people, encouraging me to pick-up some strange girl?”

  “If it gets your mind off my roommate, go ahead. I won’t tell.”

  “I can’t. I’m too busy thinking about your roommate.”

  “Elizabeth isn’t your sister anymore, is she?”

  I took a sizable gulp of beer three, afraid to confront what had become painfully obvious. From the moment we’d reunited, it felt different. The pleasant surprise of Eli’s curvy body in my arms as we embraced that first day had filled me with conflict.

  Why couldn’t Eli be an unattractive, skinny, flat-chested girl with bad hair? Life would have been so easy. Eli and I could have remained best friends forever. I never would have found myself with desires I could no longer deny.

  I took another gulp of beer. The buzz was coming.

  “You’re right, Rach. Eli’s not my sister anymore,” I finally confessed.

  Instead of being cathartic, weirdness and a sense of “what happens next?” overwhelmed me. I finished beer three and ordered another.

  Rachel was smiling. In my state this surprised me. Then she took my hands from across the table. This was puzzling. Rachel usually disapproved of my wasted lifestyle.

  “That’s great! You and Elizabeth belong together.”

  “We’re not together, Rach. I’m here with you and Eli’s on a date.”

  “Danny, you’ll work it out. Admitting your feelings is half the battle.”

  “Eli’s on a date, Rach,” I repeated.

  “Only because you didn’t ask her first. Elizabeth did it to avoid thinking of you. We both know you ruined that option.”

  CHAPTER 21 - ELIZABETH

  Shortly after Rachel and Danny left, Greg knocked on the door. In sharp contrast to Danny’s entrance, Greg’s seemed reticent. He smiled shyly, pleased by my appearance.

  “Ready in a minute,” I called out. Greg quietly seated himself in the living room while I brushed my hair one more time.

  Normally Greg wore jeans torn at the knee and his flannel shirts hung loosely on his slender frame. Tonight Greg wore chinos and an oxford shirt. His trademark hiking boots and down vest marked him as being Greg. He had cleaned up nicely.

  In the short time I had known the sophomore, I found Greg to be the antithesis of Danny. Greg was from a small town in Massachusetts. His father was a veterinarian and his mother was a high school principal. Both believed in the importance of serving their community.

  A product of rural New England, low-key Greg was a double major in Physics and Environmental Studies. He planned on pursuing a Masters degree in Environmental Engineering.

  I was nervous. I hadn’t had a date since last summer, and that one, ugh, never mind! Greg and I were going to go to a movie. Perhaps later we would end up at The Cellar, a very public way of showing that I was not Danny’s girlfriend.

  What was wrong with me? Life should not revolve around Danny. Greg was a nice guy and pleasing to look at. I should enjoy this evening because it was enjoyable, plain and simple. Its effect on Danny should not enter into my dating satisfaction.

  Stop thinking of Danny! But it was impossible. The scent of his cologne remained strong in my nostrils. I couldn’t shake his presence. It was exactly what Danny had intended.

  Danny would not ruin my good time with Greg, I vowed.

  The movie, a big-budget action-adventure, was perfect for a first date. Neither romantic nor scary, there were enough plot twists to hold my attention.

  Greg and I shared a large bag of plain popcorn and individual water bottles.

  “Don’t you want butter on it?” I asked while standing at the concessions stand.

  Movie popcorn wasn’t movie popcorn unless slathered with butter.

  “Please, no,” Greg answered. “Elizabeth, do you understand all the chemicals in that stuff? You shouldn’t pollute your body with that crap. It’ll give you cancer. Melted organic butter would be different.”

  Once we consumed the popcorn, Greg tentatively reached for my hand. I had grown accustomed to Danny’s confidence. He would never be tentative about taking my hand. He wouldn’t be tentative about taking any girl’s hand. Danny would just take it. It would never cross his mind that a girl might not want him to.

  Greg’s hand felt warm, but not quite right. His fingers were shorter and stubbier than the ones I was accustomed to holding. They were rough from calluses.

  Unlike Danny, Greg worked with his hands. He repaired his truck. He worked at Donnelly’s organic garden. Physical labor, not sports, was part of Greg’s life.

  Argh!! I had to stop compari
son Greg with Danny!

  Different did not mean bad. I had to get it through my head that men’s hands feel different from one another. It was no different than having twinkling sapphire eyes or soft brown ones. Both should be considered equally good.

  Then why did I sit in the theater longing for twinkling sapphires?

  Danny had certainly messed with my head. Why did everything lead to thoughts of him? I knew the answer, and it made me cross.

  Eventually I became accustomed to Greg’s hand. It was nice, I decided. I smiled, leaned over and kissed his cheek, a soft, quick kiss. He smiled and squeezed my hand.

  Instantly I regretted it. What did Greg think by this act? Did he assume I had feelings or expectations that as far as I knew I didn’t have?

  This was not a dilemma when I kissed Danny’s cheek. If Danny thought it might mean I wanted more, so be it. He would have been right.

  Danny! Danny! Danny! Get out of my head! I wanted to scream.

  Later, Greg and I returned to Donnelly after dessert at the organic bakery near the theater. Greg insisted on walking me to my door. I did not invite him inside my room. That would send a message I was not ready to send. Instead, I agreed to see Greg again, and he pecked my cheek good-night.

  Greg’s kiss did nothing to me. It was pleasant but tentative. There was no steam and my heart rate remained constant.

  I was spoiled. I only knew Danny’s kisses, ones that sent me soaring to the moon and back, kisses that left my heart wanting to leap out of my chest. I needed to get over it. Otherwise, I would set myself up to be disappointed for the rest of my life.

  CHAPTER 22 - ELIZABETH

  Tuesday a small group of us gathered at The Cellar to enjoy a low-keyed evening.

  “Dance with me Eli,” Danny said, his request more a command than a question.

  I rose and followed him to the dance floor. “This is a slow dance,” I pointed out giving him ample opportunity to back out.

  “That’s why it’s perfect.” Danny glanced down at my boot cast.