by S. Nelson
“Like hell you will.” She smiles as she approaches me, her arms spread wide as she draws me into a big, nurturing hug. I tense in her embrace. I don’t even remember the last time anyone hugged me, so I don’t know how to react. Sensing my discomfort, she releases me and takes a step back, glancing down at my protruding belly. “Essie, I presume.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Oh, please don’t call me ma’am,” she says. “Please, call me Vivian.” The woman in front of me screams elegance and refinement, yet there is a calming aura about her. She’s dressed in what I can only assume is casual for her: dark-grey dress pants with a cream silk top. Her hair is done to perfection, the blonde highlights only adding to her golden complexion. Her eyes are almost mirrors of her second-born, the blue color popping and making her that much more attractive.
I nod. I’m in unchartered territory and I’m not sure how to act or what to say. I glance over at Drayden, kind of waiting for his direction, but there is none. We just stare at each other, and it becomes clear he doesn’t know what to do, either.
The silence in the room is deafening.
“Well, I just came in to grab a book. I’ll be out of your way in a sec.” I’m directing the statement more toward him than her. I know he’s probably getting angry with my intrusion, so the faster I get out of his hair, the better. Even though I want to talk with his mother, this doesn’t seem like the right time or place.
But I guess she has other plans.
“Nonsense, honey.” She gestures toward the couch, inviting me to take a seat so we can chat. Again, I look over at Drayden for direction. He shrugs and makes a noise, giving in to his mother.
The next hour flies by. She’s asking me all about my life, most of which I have to sugar coat because I don’t think she can handle the truth. Damn, there are days I can’t handle the truth, and I’m the one living it.
Even though my interaction with Vivian is short, I can tell right away she’s a very nice woman. Very genuine. Which only leads me to one question.
What the hell happened to her son?
I leave the room only after expressing how tired I am and that I need to lie down. She promises to stop over again real soon to chat some more. I’m stunned to realize I’m being truthful when I tell her I look forward to it.
I never make eye contact with Drayden as I leave, enjoying my high too much to have him spoil it. But I make sure to linger outside the slightly-open door for a few minutes, ever the curious person. I want to know what she really thinks of me. For some reason, her acceptance is very important.
“I like her, honey,” his mother says before moving to sit back down on the couch.
“You would.” He brings the glass to his lips and gulps down the remaining liquid, tension rolling off his broad shoulders with the simple movement. His hair is disheveled, as if he had been running his fingers through it over and over again. He looks tired but at the same time, he looks like he’s relieved. But why would that be?
She laughs. “What does that mean?”
“It means you women stick together. Never mind the fact she’s giving you another grandchild.” His lips curve up in the corners, clearly playing to his mother.
“That she is. But it’s your child, as well, sweetheart. Why aren’t you more ecstatic?”
Drayden walks toward the bar and pours himself another drink, bracing his hands on the edge of the table for what is sure to come. “It’s complicated, Mom.”
“Life is complicated, Son. You just have to hold on and enjoy the ride.” Vivian is looking back over her shoulder at her son, clearly not finished with him yet.
“Are we done now? Can we please talk about something else?”
“Hell no. I want to talk about this some more. Come on, indulge your crazy mother.” She’s relentless, goading him to discuss the mystery woman who has fallen into her son’s life. Little does she know, it was well-planned on my part--well, some of it was, anyway. The rest played out into the hands of fate.
Or karma.
My bet is on karma.
“What else is there to talk about? You met her. You know she’s giving me a child. End of story.”
His choice of words is surprising to me. You know she’s giving me a child. Not ‘she’s knocked up with my kid’ or something crass like that. I know I’m focusing on the little things, but it takes me by surprise when I see any sign of civility in that man.
“Not ‘end of story’. Tell me how you met. How do you feel about her? About everything which has happened so far?”
Oh, no! Is he going to tell his mother the real story? Or is he going to divulge the watered-down version, leaving out a lot of the sordid details?
I’m praying for the latter.
Drayden joins his mother on the couch, reclining back with the glass tumbler fitted loosely in his hand. His body looks comfortable but there’s an obvious strain etched deep into the small lines of his face, as if he really isn’t sure how much more of his mother’s probing he can take tonight. His feet are extended and crossed at the ankles, elongating his muscular frame even more. While his one hand holds his liquid crutch, his other hand is running through his hair again, messing it up just enough to be enticing.
Just-been-fucked hair.
There is an ache starting to bloom again between my thighs and the more I watch him, the more it’s starting to grate on my nerves. My body is treacherous, betraying my brain. Most of the time, I can’t stand him or his infuriating mouth but it’s that same mouth keeping me up at night, dreaming of it roving all over my body.
If I’m being completely honest, the more I stay under his roof, the more my feelings for him are intensifying. I don’t know if it’s simply because we’re going to have a child together, which in turn is spurring hopes of belonging to an actual family. I know I’m being delusional, but it’s a fantasy which helps keep the demons at bay.
His demeanor is altering toward me a little bit, too, here and there. I will catch him looking over at me with a hint of satisfaction in his eyes, but when he catches me looking at him he’ll immediately turn away. He also isn’t as mean to me as he once was, although there’s always that underlying distrust he has toward me. It often manifests itself when I run my mouth or if he had a shit day and needs someone to take it out on.
And who better than the one woman who forever altered his existence?
I force myself back to the present again. I want to know what Drayden is going to tell his mother about our first encounter.
“We met at a bar, went to a hotel, had sex and that was it. I found out later she was pregnant.”
Wow! That sure is a quick recap of our story, leaving many, many details out. Thankfully.
He isn’t offering his mother any more, not without further prodding. “So, what are your feelings toward her now? She’s rather quite stunning, but I’m sure you’ve already noticed that. And she seems really nice.”
“It’s all an illusion, Mom. Yes, she’s gorgeous, but she isn’t that nice. Trust me.”
He referred to me as gorgeous. Why does the sentiment send my heart a flutter? He also said you weren’t that nice. I choose not to focus on the second part of his statement, still stuck on the fact that he finds me gorgeous.
“Well, she seems nice. I think the surprise of everything is what’s hindering your feelings for her. You have to open yourself up to your future, Drayden. After everything that happened with Elizabeth, you’ve got to learn to live again. I mean, really live, not this existing you’ve managed to muddle through on a daily basis. Embrace the good about to happen to you. To the both of you together.”
Who is this Elizabeth? And what the hell happened to her?
“There is no us together. Sure, she’s having my baby, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to be with her. Not like that.”
His mother isn’t paying much attention to her son’s ramblings. Out of nowhere, she says, “I think you know what you should do.” She leans back on the couch, obviously sa
tisfied with herself.
Drayden glances over at her smug face, not quite understanding what she means. I see him think on it for a few more agonizing seconds before jumping up and putting distance between the both of them. Then all of a sudden, he raises his voice to a level I’m unfortunately used to. “I’m not fucking marrying her!” He shakes his head back and forth, trying to rid his brain of the mere thought. “Hell will freeze over before I make that woman my wife!”
“Hey!” his mother yells over at him. “You need to calm down right now.” She seems to be sticking up for me, but how would she feel if she knew all of the despicable details? Surely she would agree with him a thousand percent. But for now, I’ll take whatever support I can get.
They continue their discussion once they both calm down some. “Sorry, but there is no way on God’s green Earth I’ll ever marry Essie. Never!”
Okay, I get it. He’s against the thought so much he just about had a stroke trying to defend his position. I never thought he would ever marry me. Hell, I don’t want to marry his temperamental ass.
“I saw the way you were looking at her the whole time she was in this room with us.”
“Yeah, I was keeping an eye on her so she didn’t transform into the devil and suck your very soul from you.” He smirks slightly at his own wit.
His mother chuckles at his obvious over-dramatization. “Come on, you can’t deny there is something between the two of you.”
Sighing, he holds his head in his hands. He’s clearly done with this conversation. “It’s called lust. Nothing more. Just because I want to bury myself between her legs doesn’t mean I like her.”
I feel a slight blush creep up and spread over my cheeks. I can’t believe he said that to his own mother, who by the way doesn’t even blanch at his crudeness. I’m mortified but oddly thrilled at the same time. If he desires me so much then why hasn’t he made a move on me? He knows I’ll be receptive to him, doesn’t he?
Maybe I’ll have to make sure he knows I’m open to it.
“I’m just saying to give it some serious thought, that’s all.” His mom gets up and walks over toward him, lessening the space between them until she throws her arms around him, bringing him in for a big hug. “Okay, that’s enough for tonight. I came here for a reason and now I’ll be on my way.” She snatches her purse off the couch and starts making her way toward the door.
Shit! I’m so caught up in the moment, I forget they don’t know I’m hiding outside. Before the door is opened all the way, I run as quickly and as quietly down the hall before rounding the corner toward my bedroom.
Thankfully, neither one knows I was just spying on them.
Thankfully, I’m a fast runner.
~~~~
That was a lot of information for me to process in such a short span of time. I’m lying on my bed, trying to dissect everything when my door opens. Drayden is leaning against the frame, hands tucked in his pockets, looking like it’s for the best if he doesn’t enter into my space all the way.
“Well, congratulations. You did a great job at fooling my mother. She’s obviously on Team Essie. Then again, she doesn’t know the full story either.” He’s smirking at me, giving me one of his scornful looks before continuing to harass me. “What do you think she would say if I told her you tried to blackmail me then got yourself pregnant just to have a big payday?”
“You can tell her whatever you want. I don’t care.” I do care, and it’s aggravating how much I worry about his family finding out the whole truth. “You know part of that isn’t true, by the way. I didn’t get myself pregnant.” I break eye contact with him before saying, “I never intended for it to happen, and you know it.” I feel kind of guilty admitting that now as my belly grows with the life I was hesitant to accept at first. But now…now the baby is all I can think about, my love growing for my unborn child more and more with each passing day. I look back over at him and notice he’s just standing there, still looming in the doorway and glaring at me but not saying anything. “What?” I ask him as I fidget with the hem of my shorts. “Please don’t think I’m just going to sit here while you give me a hard time. I didn’t do anything to deserve your sour attitude today.”
“Today.” It’s a short and simple statement, but one which packs a heavy punch.
We stare at one another, both trying to decide what the next move is going to be.
I want him to stay.
I want him to leave.
I want him to stalk me as his prey, devour and claim me.
I want to smack him.
And since I can’t settle on any one want, I make my way toward the bathroom, slamming the door behind me for extra oomph.
It works.
He slams my bedroom door when he leaves and thankfully its void of the deafening click which used to follow.
~~~~
A few days later, I’m taking a much-needed dip in the pool, trying to relax before having to deal with the ornery man who will be gracing me with his presence soon. It’s getting late and he is due home any minute. When I hear a car pull up in the driveway, I let out a deep, soul-reverberating sigh.
Even though it’s the last thing I want to do, my thoughts are all too consumed with him. There are times when he stays out late, doing God knows what, but then other times he’s home when he mentions he will be. I don’t want to picture him flirting or having sex with other women, but I can’t help myself. He gives me no reason to believe that’s not exactly what he is up to. He isn’t interested in being with me in that way, so what other option is there?
The further I get along in my pregnancy, the more these thoughts devastate me. He once told me I belonged to him, that no other man will have me. But I know in my heart the same isn’t true.
Drayden Warner will never fully belong to me.
Pushing these depressing thoughts aside, I dive under the cool water, forgetting the outside world for a few precious seconds.
When I re-emerge, I’m startled to see someone standing by the edge of the pool. At first, I see shiny dress shoes but the further up I look, I see whoever is staring down at me is dressed in an impeccable designer suit. Finally glancing all the way up, I’m surprised to be looking directly into a familiar pair of eyes, peering down at me with solid intensity.
“How are you, Essie?” Eli asks, as he rocks back and forth on his heels, clearly enthralled with what he’s seeing.
He really is every bit his brother but without the nasty overlay.
“Hi, Eli.” I take a few steps back in the pool so I’m not straining my neck. “What’s up? Drayden isn’t back yet.”
“That’s okay. I’ll wait.” He continues to stand above me, hands shoved deep inside his pants pockets.
“Please tell me he knows you’re coming over. I don’t want another episode like last time.” I’m wading in the water, reluctant to get out. I know he’s expressed an interest in me, and I don’t want to encourage it any further. I like him, really I do. He’s easy on the eyes and easy to talk to. But unfortunately, I’m all wrapped up in his brother; as bad as I don’t want to be, that is my current situation.
“Yeah, he knows I’m on my way over. I called him from the car while I was enroute.” He never takes his eyes off me and I know why. I’m wearing the tiny white bikini, spilling out all over the place because my breasts have grown even bigger than the last time I wore it. But it’s the only bathing suit I have right now.
I don’t know what to say, so I blurt out the first thing which comes to mind. “The water’s nice.”
The water’s nice? Why the hell did I just say that?
“It looks it. Actually, Dray won’t be home for another half hour or so. Maybe I’ll join you.” He looks pensive at first, not really sure how I’ll take it. “Do you mind, Essie?”
It really is hot out. And far be it from me to deny him the chance to cool off, in his own brother’s pool and all. “No, not at all. I think there’s a spare pair of swim trunks in the pool house.”
And off he goes to change into something a little less constricting. When he comes back out from the changing area I have to stop myself from blatantly staring at him. His body is amazing, well-sculpted muscles adorning every part of his impeccable form. I’ve only seen one other body which tops his, and that’s Drayden’s. But this guy is nothing to sneeze at. And before I can stare at him like a transfixed woman in heat, he dives into the water, seamlessly swimming under the cool escape.
Eli actually startles me when he reaches out and grasps onto my leg under the water, right before he surfaces. I didn’t expect him to reach me so quickly and when he comes up for air, he just laughs. His playful demeanor instantly puts me at ease. I laugh right along with him and it feels so good. I didn’t realize how much I missed smiling with someone, having a good time with no ill intentions in the background.
“Wow. The water feels amazing, you’re right. Especially after being stuffed into a suit all day long.” He circles around me, cautiously watching me. He isn’t doing anything inappropriate, but I still find his actions a little bit intimidating.
“Yeah, this is one of the things I enjoy for both exercise and relaxation.” I playfully pat my round belly. “Don’t want to get too big.”
“You look amazing, Essie. Pregnancy certainly agrees with you.”
Why am I feeling shy all of a sudden? I’m never shy. “Thanks, Eli.” After a brief moment of silence, I resume the chit-chat which has been flowing quite nicely between us. “So tell me. What do you do for a living?” I’m bobbing up and down in the water, trying to keep my body nice and cool.
“I’m a corporate lawyer. Boring, I know, but it pays the bills.” He’s imitating my actions, submerging his body in the water to keep cool.
“I don’t think it sounds boring at all. I’m sure you’re very good at what you do.”
“Yeah, I am.” He smiles again. Damn, he is a handsome man. I only wish his brother followed suit and graced me with one of his killer smiles every now and then. But no, Drayden is always either scowling at me or his features are frozen, not revealing any emotion whatsoever.