Slone keeps asking about Keira and my parents. I know things will only change if I make them change. I have to put that out my mind for a while. Time to focus on school.
Keira
I watch the clock. Here I sit in my dorm room, waiting. Lane is coming up to spend the weekend with me. He says he has a surprise for me. Football season is finally over. The playoffs didn’t go so well for him. But he doesn’t seem too broken up about it. He said he would text when he arrives.
I answer the door after someone knocks. My eyes deceive me....its Lane. He is really here. I don’t speak before he grabs me and kisses me so hard and so hungry I moan. There are no words exchanged as he grabs my bag and we head to the Rover.
It feels like if we speak the spell is broken. All these weeks I have missed him so much.
Once I have myself planted in seat, he speaks.
"I have a suite for us downtown. No pressure. Just want you to myself for the next forty eight hours. Okay?"
"No pressure. Right?" I have to look at him again. Just to make sure he is really here and to make sure he understands I am still not so sure about the whole sex thing.
"Right. Just us. Let’s drop of our bags then we can get lunch and you can show me around this place.," he leans over the console to kiss my lips sweetly, “I love you so much. "
I giggle as we walking to the hotel suite. "Wow! Lane. It’s perfect, " I place my overnight bag on the floor then look around the room at the perfect downtown streets and all the people moving about. Lane grabs me, leading me to the sofa, he sits me across his lap, "I missed you Lane Callahan. ''
"Missed you too," he plants kiss on my lips and then my cheek ,and then my down to my neck . He uses his finger to trace the V shape in my shirt. "Like your shirt." It feels so good. I hold my head back for him to do it again. "You like that?" I moan. He does it again. "You smell good...sweet." He runs his tongue down my neck to the V in my blouse. I moan again only louder. "Kiss me Keira"
And I do. I feel my body moving against him. When I finally open my eyes he is laying between my legs. I can feel his body press against me and it feels oh so good. I moan as my hips move. yes...this is so good.
"Keira?" I can feel him breathing heard. "Let’s stop. No pressure. Right?"
"Right." I sit up as he lifts himself to a sitting position. I jump up and walk to the door. Lane is still sitting. He is taking in deep breaths. “What’s wrong?"
"Give me just a minute. I am trying to regain some control,” he says as he laughs at me.
"Oh. Okay. " Wow! Is that the effect I have on him?
Once we get back outside the hotel, we walk to the local bistro and have lunch. Lane seems so relaxed and at peace. I try not to think about his parents or Rachel. Then we go to a movie before we head back to the hotel and decide to order room service.
Once room service arrives, we sit on the floor and eat and watch TV. He can feel me staring at him. He is laughing a full belly laugh that I love to hear coming from him.
“What?" He asks as he gets on his hands and knees to crawl towards me.
I force myself not to move, "I love you Lane. I want this forever."
"Forever?” He stops crawling. Before I know it, I am in his lap on the floor." I have been thinking about it- forever. With you. "
"What are you saying? You wanna get married? " I laugh.
"That’s one way to shut my parents up and get rid of Rachel." He deadpans.
"No. That will just piss them off. Plus, we go to schools four and half hours away from each other, and we are only nineteen. Come on Lane. Be serious. "
"I was, but if you don’t want to that’s fine." His feeling are a hurt. I can tell.
"What? I do. Just not today, but someday." I kiss his beautiful lips.
"Someday," he looks into my eyes. "I could do forever with you. We would make it work no matter the distance or differences . We can do it."
We sit in silence for a long while when I stand. It’s too quiet. "Let’s go hang out. There are a few parties on campus. We can hang out and drive back here. Cool?"
His face is still serious. "Whatever you want."
"Let’s get changed.” We both move about the room in silence getting dressed. He takes out shirt I haven’t seen before. It’s a nice button up. The he slides on his well-worn jeans and pair of loafers and an all-weather jacket.
I slide into a silk blouse, riding boots and a pair of fitted jeggings. Then I add my pea coat and colorful scarf. "Let’s go."
Lane
The good thing about visiting a smaller university in a working class town is the diversity. Walking in with a beautiful black girl on my arm meant nothing. There were all kinds of people at the party. A few people recognized me as the quarterback from state ,but no one made a big deal of it. I shook a few hands and moved on.
Mostly, I watched Keira dance the night away. She is so cute when she moves that little body of hers. Her hips sway and rub against me. She has on those long boots with the tall heal on them so she feels taller.
The music is pulsing through us. The vibe is flowing between us. We laugh a lot. When the slow songs come on I hold her close and kiss her glossy plump lips. The gloss is kind of sweet so I want kiss her even more.
I can’t help but want her. God, she is so freaking beautiful and I love her so damn much. Then when the night is almost over, we walk to the Rover. As I open the door for her ,Keira pulls me close, “Will you make love to me? "
What? Uh...hell yeah! " Sure. Whenever you’re ready. "
“What if I am ready now? Tonight?" I would normally question her but she smells all sexy sweaty from dancing and sweet from whatever perfume she is wearing. She is pushed up close to my body. I can only take so much. "I think I'm ready."
“Was it the dancing?” I asked as I pulled her to my lips for a quick but steamy kiss.
"No. Well, yeah. Sort of. I just like touching you. I’d like for you to touch me more. If you want..." She barely whispered the last part.
“Oh I want to touch you alright. Let’s go," I say lifting her in the car.
Keira
Lane held my hand all the way to the hotel. On the elevator, he pressed me against the wall and kissed my lips and neck then he ran his tongue between the opening at the V of my shirt. I think my heart stopped.
I mean I been kissed, but this is different. When we get to the room he walked me to the bedroom of our suite. " Do you love me? " he asks. I can’t speak so I nod. He unbuttons my blouse. "Do you trust me?" he asks. I nod again. He unzips my pants. I slide off my boots and my pants. We ease up the bed closer to the headboard.
I lay there in my hot pink panties and bra that I only hoped Lane would see one day.
"I want this forever,” I remind him as he removes his shirt, and I have to remind myself to breathe. His body is magnificent. Just wow! His skin is still a little moist from dancing. He is aroused. I can see it. This is really happening.
He lies on top of me and pushes my legs open. He runs his finger inside my panties and touches me there. It feels divine. I want more. "Oh yeah. Do that again Lane. Please. I want more. Ah...."
He unclips the bra in the front and pulls my nipple in his mouth. “Forever, right?” he stops all movement to study me. "Are you sure?” I nod. I just don't want him to stop. “I want to make you mine. Mine." He growls as he slides another finger inside me. I can feel myself stretching. “I won’t hurt you. I will love you forever. I promise. "
I feel him reach for the condoms as he continues to gently slide two fingers in and out. Then in and out. He circles his thumb round and round at the same time and my body can’t seem to get enough then suddenly seizes. "Lane.....baby....Lane...." are all the words I can seem to form.
Lane
I know she loves me and wants forever. She is trusting me to give her forever. Her body is beyond perfect. It’s almost reverent. I could worship her. She is riding my fingers and comes so hard she doesn’t even realize I left the condom on the bedside
table and I am now laying between her legs.
" Ready?" she’s trembling. I can’t tell if it’s from the earlier orgasm or from fear. "Relax. I love you. I won’t hurt you."
I should stop. I should slide the condom on,but my heart is so overwhelmed and needy. I need her like I need air or water to live. I need to cling to her and have her. I pray that she will forgive me. I need to be connected to her. I need to have a connection to her forever. I have to claim her. I have to have someone....something of my own. Something the world....my parents can’t take away or control.
"Its gonna hurt, " she’s scared.
"Maybe for a little while. But tell me if it’s too much. " I position myself and prod slowly in and then out. A little further in then back out. I suck her nipples. She moans,and I slid even further in and back out. I slide her leg over my hip and surge forward. I am home. This is what forever feels like. I hear her gasp in pain. I don’t move. I have to remind myself to take it slow. Her breathing is slowing down and I can feel her relax around me.
Then is start to create a nice rhythm of movement. I can feel her reciprocate my moves. "Oh yeah. That’s good baby, " I can feel her getting super wet. She likes it when I talk to her. “You feel so prefect Keira." I pull both of her legs around my hips so I can surge deeper.
"Oh god, yes. Lane." She likes that so I do it again. And again. And again until she screams my name in pleasure. I thrust in her three more times and I fall over the edge into oblivion. My body seizes and jerks so hard my stomach muscles cramp.
Keira is dozing off to sleep. I wrap my arms around her. Guilt seeps into my heart. What have I done? Her breathing is evening out. I listen as she settles into her sleep. I can’t help kissing her temple. I love how she snuggles a little deeper into my arms. "Damn, I love you. I am so sorry. I promise, Keria, I will take care of you forever. I just need you to trust me. " I whisper in her ear. She softly moans and turns burying her face in the crook of my neck.
For the first time in a really long time I feel a sense of peace. Finally, my heart feels full and I sigh in relief. I doze off joining Keira in her dreams.
Keira
I can feel the moisture pool between my legs as I shift in my sleep. I can see the small amount of blood on the sheets as I get up and go to the bathroom. Lane is asleep. He has me so tangled I have to pry myself from him to get up. He looks so beautiful. He has a cute little smirk on his face.
Feeling a little self-conscious, I grab his shirt off the floor on the way to the bathroom.. I decide to get a drink of water. It’s almost morning. After a while, Lane starts to shift. I can see him rubbing his hands over the sheets feeling for me. I watch until, finally, his eyes open and he spots me.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"Getting a drink of water .You want some?" He nods. Then he stands and walks to the bathroom. Clearly not as self-conscious as I am.
He grabs his boxers on the way back to bed. "You okay? Not to sore?"
I can feel the heat in my cheeks. "I'm okay.”
"Yeah?" He seems unsure. I nod. " So .....not too bad?"
I giggle. I know I sound like a ten year old. " No.Not too bad. Good actually. " I can’t make eye contact with him.
"Come 'ere" His voice is low. Kind of husky.
I refill the glass with fresh water and walk it over to him. I can see he is surveying my body. I try my best to act natural, but this is so not natural . I mean he was in me, literally, a few hours ago. How can I act natural? How should I act?
When I sit on the edge of the bed, he takes the glass, takes a small sip then places it on the night stand. "Come closer baby." I scoot onto the bed so I am situated between Lane's legs. He has his back against the headboard. He wraps his arms around me again-tight. He snuggles me into his strong embrace. I so love this feeling. I love him. "I love you Keira," he lifts my chin so I can make eye contact with him. "I was serious about forever. I love you....forever. Don’t ever forget that. "
I nod. His tone is so serious. I know he is trying to reassure me but I can see something deeper in his eyes. Even if its for only a moment ,I see it. "I know how much you love me," I see doubt in his eyes. Oh no. "I do Lane. I really do."
"Forever?" He still needs reassuring. It’s strange he’s usually so strong and sure. Now he seems so uncertain. It hurts to see the doubt in his eyes.
"Forever.” I mean it. I could love him forever. He is my best friend. My love. My everything.
Part Three
Keira
It’s been four weeks since I have seen Lane. Not completely true. I see him every day. We skype and we talk and text all day. But I have not seen him since right after playoff season. At Spring Break I was working lots of extra hours then we both had to make sure to stay focused. I am transferring to Lane’s school in the fall so I have to have my grades right. I have a scholarship and everything. I am so excited, but I want to make sure he knows that my education is important. For some reason, we seemed to be missing each other. We’re planning to meet up this weekend. He’s rented another hotel suite.
Between me working and him having weight clinic and tape sessions, but the late nights are starting to catch up with me. I am exhausted. I have not missed any classes. I seem to be cutting my conversations with Lane shorter and shorter. He doesn’t seem to mind. I wake up and have beautiful text messages from him. And I have hot sexy ass dreams about us screwing like wild animals.
It’s been a couple weeks, I am just too tired for this to be normal. I think I need a multivitamin or something. I have been taking an everyday multivitamin for active women. My roommates love to make fun of me because I caught the stomach bug going around campus. They all had it only once. But I had it twice, go figure. Lane threatened to drive up and drag me to a doctor if I didn’t rest and take better care of myself.
Finally , my appetite has picked up again. With all the stomach crap and sleeping, I never felt like eating. But this week I have more than made up for it. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and lately I am having it about twice a day.
Right now, I am on my way to the student center to get some Midol for my roommate. She has cramps. Usually, I need them too, but....wait...oh no. I have not had a period this month, have I ? I never miss a period. I’m like clockwork. Oh....my...God....this cannot be happening. I sit in the parking lot replaying that night in my mind. Oh my God. We forgot the condom! Lane Callahan... you are so dead.
I buy the Midol and a pregnancy test. Yes, a pregnancy test, I can’t believe it. I might be pregnant. A baby? Me?
When I slip into the dorm, I lay the Midol on the counter and ease into the restroom. After reading the instructions, I follow them and watch the plus sign appear right away. No....this can't be happening. No....it just can't be. I am numb.
I have to tell Lane. I can’t hide any longer after he asks me, "Keira, what’s wrong? You’ve been avoiding me.” I don’t know what to say. Lane forces the issue, “You’ve been tired and a little temperamental, too. Keira, baby, are you pregnant?"
"What?" How would he know that? How would he have guessed that?
I have to tell him. He doesn’t seem to mind or even care that I start sobbing and tell him I’ve known for over a week. He is very casual and relaxed. Eventually, he continues making plans for the next school year. Our lives are forever changed you idiot. How can he be so calm?
He’s sleeping in the hotel bed next to me. The night has been restless, it dawns on me and I realize something. He wasn’t surprised. Its as if he knew I was pregnant. Surely ...no. He wouldn't. He couldn't. I have to confront him.
My mouth is hanging open.I can’t believe it. It’s true. He knew. He got me pregnant on purpose. "Lane Why?" I ask furiously swiping hard at the tears falling down my face.
He lays there somberly, "I have been in competition my while life. First, with my dad's dreams then my mom’s expectations. I have been watching my diet, eating all the right foods and exercising for as long as I can remember. We had mo
re conversations about the QB position than sex and girls. More camps on throwing, timing, and running than I want to ever talk about. I always felt so alone until I could spend a few weeks each year with Grandma Lilly and Gramps. They made it all better. I could just relax and be loved when I was with them. But then grandma Lilly died," his voice brakes with an agonizing shudder. "She died and my peace, my heart felt abandoned. Who would love me for just being Lane? Everyone loves Lane, the quarterback and the son of the filthy rich parents. I am their possession, " he stops abruptly rubbing his hand over my belly, " So yeah, " he’s trying, searching for calm, "I need you and this baby. I love you both with all of my soul. Please believe me. Please don't ....just don't leave. All I have are you and the baby. I want to love you both forever." He paused, then whispered," Please?"
Complicated Love Page 7