Steady

by Nicole Tillman

  I knew it would be a miracle if they didn't get caught and reprimanded for sneaking out after bed checks, so I waved my arms wildly, gesturing for them to hurry. Nora, being the comedian she thought she was, slunk low to the floor, humming the M.I. theme song while Veronica fought to contain a bubble of high-pitched giggles.

  Once they were within reach, I grabbed both their arms and hauled them inside.

  “Was that really necessary?” I asked, taking one of the bags from Veronica.

  “Absolutely. What better way to kick off this secret night of debauchery than by channeling our inner Tom Cruise?”

  Veronica was tall, blonde, and nearly flawless. That would be enough to cause jealousy in even the most secure of women, but it never did. She was just too easy to love.

  “Nora might have been channeling Tom, but I think you were channeling Muttley.”

  Veronica's brows furrowed over her wide blue eyes as she shook her head.

  “Muttley. The laughing dog from the- never mind. Google him.”

  “You're one hundred percent positive you don't want to sneak out tonight?” Sydney asked as we joined her in the kitchenette. “Doesn't getting all dolled up and crawling from one seedy bar to the next until sunrise sound appealing to you?”

  It didn't. Not at all. “Actually, it-”

  “We can't go out tonight!” Nora exclaimed, cutting me off. “For one, the bass in the bar makes Bree nervous.” She jerked her head in my direction as she opened a bag of chips with a flourish. I tried not to cringe as crumbs puffed out in the air between our faces. “And I don't blame you. Being able to feel my organs vibrating inside my body freaks me out too.”

  Sydney and Veronica nodded, but I could practically feel their disappointment swirling in the air between us.

  “Listen, if you guys want to-”

  “Nope! We're staying here.” Nora leveled the girls with a glacial stare. “The RA is studying, your uptight suite-mates jumped ship early to go home, and everything we need for the night is right here.” She gestured to the overflowing table. “Besides, what I have planned for tonight can't be done in a bar.”

  “Yay!” Veronica cheered. “Streaking!”

  We all rolled our eyes as she pumped a fist in the air.

  “No,” Nora huffed, shaking her head. After setting the chips on the table, she turned back to her messenger bag and pulled out a large cardboard box. Stepping back, she smiled proudly as she waited for our reactions.

  “Oh my God!”

  I flung my arms around Nora's shoulders. If I'd ever had doubts that Nora was still my best friend and knew me better than anyone on the planet, all of those doubts would have been laid to rest right then and there.

  “A Ouija board? Are you kidding me?” Sydney exclaimed as she began filling shot glasses with spiced rum. “Aren't those things, like, dangerous?”

  Veronica tipped the box on its side and began reading the description on the back. “Can't be that scary. It's made by the same company that makes Easy-Bake Ovens.”

  “Bree's always wanted one,” Nora said. “But her mother would have shit a chicken if she'd brought one home.”

  “That's putting it mildly.” I pulled her even closer for a crushing hug and smashed our cheeks together. “Thank you.”

  “I'm gonna need to be a whole lot drunker to handle this,” Veronica grumbled as she grabbed a glass.

  Nora pulled away to slap at Veronica's busy hands. “Hey! Bree gets the first shot. And we have to toast!”

  “Nope!” I wiggled my fingers and motioned for Veronica to slide me the glass. After tossing it back, I cringed at the warm sting that settled at the back of my throat. “I have birthday veto power. No toasts. Just shots.”

  We all filled our glasses, clinked them together, and cringed as the bitter liquid burned our throats. Even though I didn't have a cake or a candle to blow out, I still sent up a silent thank you for my second chance and the opportunity to celebrate another birthday.

  “Can we invite Daniel from downstairs to come up?” Sydney whined an hour later. She was ready to take the leap from 'tipsy' to 'thoroughly sloshed'. “My lady parts like him. They like him a whole lot.”

  “I don't wanna hear about your lady parts,” I said with a laugh.

  Stretching out on my bed, I wished I could indulge in a little reckless abandon like my friends. I'd learned that once the haze of alcohol threatened to take over, I had to pump the brakes. I couldn't let myself get too far gone and I couldn't put any unnecessary stress on my system that might make it difficult for my heart to do its job. Yeah, it still thump-thump-thumped like it should, but it had it's moments.

  Even though I'd almost been killed by a drunk driver, I knew there was nothing wrong with recreational drinking- as long as you were responsible. I wasn't planning on taking a cruise across campus anytime soon, but I still had to keep myself in check. One too many shots could cause my heart to have a major freak out on me, and that's not something I was willing to risk.

  “I'm bored,” Victoria groaned. “Are you bored? We shouldn't be bored. Let's get un-bored.”

  “Oh! Wait, wait, wait!” Nora jumped out of the swirling office chair and tripped over her own feet as she made her way to the previously neglected box in the corner. “It's Ouija time!”

  The girls gave half-hearted cheers as I got up to help Nora clear the table.

  “Here, hand me the directions,” Sydney said, wiggling her fingers as we opened the box.

  “What? It's a Ouija board. You don't need directions. If you've ever watched a horror movie, you know what to do.” Veronica spread her hands out over the board. “We put the tips of our fingers on the thingy and then it goes around and gives us letters to make other thingys. Then a spirit pops out to eat all our faces off.”

  “Just to be clear,” Nora laid a hand on her roommate's shoulder. “By 'thingys' do you happen to mean... words?”

  “Yes!” Veronica said with a snap, not picking up on Nora's sarcasm.

  “Oh! Candles!”

  I skipped to the bathroom in search of the small bag of tea lights we kept under the sink. We weren't allowed to have open-flame candles, but jeez, sometimes a girl just needs a candle or two for a bubble bath.

  “Hey, guys?” Veronica sat back in her chair, lacing her fingers together behind her head. “Doesn't this seem like a scene out of a horror flick? Like, a bunch of stupid college kids do something really bad and the audience laughs because they are such huge dumbasses?”

  “That is exmactly... expactly... exactly what this feels like!” Sydney slurred around a bout of giggles.

  “Good. Glad we're on the same page.”

  “Hush!” Nora swatted at the girls before lighting four candles and placing them around the board.

  I flipped off all the lights and joined them at the table. The darkness instantly changed the mood in the room and I fought to keep my body from shivering.

  “I can't tell if we're about to have a seance or a romantic dinner.”

  Nora ignored Veronica's sarcastic remark and took her place at the head of the table. “Okay, all we do is place the tips of our fingers on the planchette and-”

  “The what?”

  “The planchette,” I said, answering Sydney's question. “It's the piece that moves around the board.”

  “Gotcha. Okay.” Sydney took a deep breath and shook out her hands, as if this was going to be one hell of a workout. “Ready when you are.”

  Without another word, Sydney, Veronica, and I all placed our fingers on the planchette and looked to Nora, who was apparently our ringleader for the night. She was the only one who had any experience with Ouija boards, so we were taking our cue from her.

  As she reached her hands forward, she took a calming breath and closed her eyes. She was getting herself in the zone, getting psyched up, and I was impressed with her dedication. Especially since half our party thought what we were doing was insane.

  The room grew quiet, thick with tension, and col
der. Although that could have just been my imagination.

  “We welcome any spirits who would like to come forward to communicate with us tonight.” Both Sydney and Veronica twitched their fingers, as if they were about to bail, but Nora didn't lose focus. “Is there anyone here that has something to say?”

  The silence wasn't able to stretch on very long before Sydney pulled her hands back into her lap.

  “Nope. No one's there. I think I need another drink. Anyone else?” She moved to leave the table, but Nora stopped her with one stern glare.

  “Sit down. We're not finished.”

  Sydney reluctantly slid back into her chair and put her hands back in place.

  Nora took another deep breath. “Is there anyone on the other side that would like to communicate with us? Anyone with a message? Anyone who wishes to reach out? We're open and we're waiting.” She flicked her eyes across the table to Veronica and Sydney before adding, “patiently.”

  The room was quiet for a long time as we stared across the table at one another. We all held a collective breath as we waited for something, anything, to happen. After too many seconds to count, we started glancing around the room, our eyes darting from one shadow to the next. I didn't know what we were looking for, but the hair on the back of my neck was standing on end as my heart thrummed back and forth between excitement and fear.

  There was no movement.

  No noise.

  The flames of the candles didn't even waver.

  And then... the planchette jerked beneath our hands.

  “Ah!”

  “Shit!”

  “Holy hell!”

  A chorus of screams filled the room as we whipped our hands back to our chests and practically fell out of our chairs.

  Veronica's head dropped back as riotous laughter fell from her lips.

  “You're an ass!” Sydney shouted as she slapped Veronica across the shoulder.

  My chest was starting to ache from the adrenaline wrecking havoc on my system and I fought to control my breathing. I didn't enjoy the feeling of that particular hormone being dumped into my blood stream- mainly because I feared my heart wasn't strong enough to endure the highs that accompanied certain emotional reactions.

  Placing my hand on my chest, I closed my eyes and willed my heart to slow.

  “Steady,” I whispered to the wayward organ.

  “Bree? Are you okay?”

  I didn't bother opening my eyes. I couldn't stand to see the mixture of emotions painted across their faces. Concern. Fear... Pity.

  “I'm fine. I just need a minute.” Taking deep breathes, I fought to make it to my 'happy place'. I conjured up images of my great-grandmother taking a batch of freshly baked peanut butter cookies from the oven, Nora and I playing on the swing-set in her back yard as children, and the sweet sound of my mother singing hymnals at church on Sundays.

  Slowly, ever so slowly, the ache in my chest subsided and I opened my eyes. “Okay, let's try again.”

  “Are you insane?” Sydney's hands flailed above her head. “We're not trying anything again. We're done!”

  It was clear that Veronica's little stunt had instantly sobered her.

  “Syd! I'm-”

  “No! Nuh uh. Don't you dare say you're fine. Do not lie to me, Bree.” She picked up the board and shot me a look when I started to protest. “Your face is white. I can see your heartbeat in your throat. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that's probably not healthy. And let's not forget, this is my room too and I'm far from comfortable with this.”

  “She's wanted to do this for a long time,” Nora said defensively. “I think I know her well enough to know that-”

  “That she had a freaking heart transplant and she can't handle this shit like she used to?”

  I opened my mouth to argue my own case, but a sniffle caused me to glance over to look at Veronica. Tears streamed from her eyes as she used the back of her hand to frantically wipe them away.

  “Oh, sweetie...” I stood and wrapped my arms around her neck. She was shaking. “It's okay.”

  “I'm sorry,” her voice cracked. “I didn't even think-”

  “I know. Don't even worry about it. Okay?”

  She shook her head and I tightened my grip on her neck. “Okay?” I insisted, bear hugging her esophagus.

  When she finally nodded, I let go and slapped a noisy kiss to her cheek.

  “All good.” I crossed my arms and playfully nudged her shoulder with my hip until she looked up with watery eyes and a quivering smile. That's all I wanted to see- her smile.

  “It's past curfew.”

  Three heads whipped up to find Sydney cleaning the kitchenette, eyes down, brows furrowed in annoyance.

  “Guess the party's over,” Veronica whispered.

  We all began the arduous task of tipsy-cleaning the dorm room, erasing all traces of the fun we'd had before everything came to a screeching halt because of my own damn fragility.

  ***

  A weak fluttering in my chest and a dark sense of unease jerked me out of a sound sleep. I lifted my throbbing head and looked over to check the time. Four in the morning. Clamping my eyes shut against the glowing numbers, I shivered beneath my comforter and groaned when I could see my breath.

  “Syd? Why is it so freaking cold in here?”

  I cracked one eye open to glance across the room. She was cocooned beneath her covers, not even a finger or a toe left exposed to the frigid air.

  “Syd! Did you turn down the-”

  Movement across the room had me bolting up in bed. My heart kicked up the pace and my brain fought to catch up. “What the- Syd! Sydney! Wake up!”

  Sydney groaned and rolled to where she could get one hand and half her face out from beneath her blanket. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “I- I don't know. I just saw... something.”

  I could practically hear Sydney rolling her eyes. “No. You're imagining things. That's what you get for screwing with a Ouija board. Now go back to sleep.”

  I scrambled for a way to get her out of bed, to investigate with me, but a few seconds later the sound of her soft snoring reverberated from her side of the room, telling me she was fast asleep.

  Something had moved. A mouse? A light from a passing car? A demon coming to eat my soul while I slept? Who knows?

  Ignoring the silent pleas from my heart insisting that I return to sleep, I sat up on my knees and tucked my feet beneath me before looking out into the darkness.

  “Hello?” I whispered.

  Instead of being greeted by silence, like part of me had hoped for, a soft rattling caught my ear and I turned toward the noise.

  Blindly reaching into the half-opened drawer of my nightstand, I fumbled around until my fingers touched metal and I retrieved my small flashlight. After three tries, I finally managed to control my shaking fingers enough to flip the switch, sending a small pinpoint of light bouncing across the ceiling.

  Holding my breath, I directed the unsteady light across the room, searching for the source of the noise.

  Nothing seemed to be amiss on Sydney's side of the room and my side was exactly as I'd left it. No sound. No movement. Nothing.

  Standing up from the bed, I padded my bare feet across the cold linoleum and peeked around the corner into the kitchenette. Shakily, I raised my hand and gasped aloud as the beam of light bounced off the one item in the entire room that was moving.

  Holding my free hand to my chest, as if to keep my erratic heart from flying out of my rib cage, I approached the counter. I swept my eyes across the arched alphabet and locked my gaze on the planchette.

  The quivering planchette.

  The planchette that was trying its damnedest to shake its way across the board.

  In a flash, the aching in my chest morphed to pain and the room began to tilt. Before I could reach out to steady myself, a shrill ring replaced the unsettling silence and the floor rushed up to meet my face.

  Chapter Two

 
“Bree! Bree, wake up!”

  The sound of Sydney's worried voice pulled me out of sleep's embrace and I jerked awake with a start. Gasping for breath, I reach out and grabbed my friend's arm, holding on for dear life.

  “Jesus Christ, I thought I was going to have to call 911. Are you okay?” I could feel Sydney shaking beside me as she pressed a worried hand to my forehead. “Why in the hell are you on the floor?”

  I wasn't sure. All I could think about was how cold I'd felt seconds before Sydney woke me. Whatever I was dreaming about had made me uneasy. I had been cold, lost, in pain... but not alone.

  Slowly, Sydney hooked her arms under mine and hefted me up to a sitting position. I let out an unattractive groan as my back popped and shifted. My entire body was sore from sleeping on the hard linoleum floor and every joint protested the sudden shift in position.

  “Bree?” Sydney shook my shoulders, urging me to speak.

  “I'm fine.”

  My mouth felt and tasted like sandpaper, my head was pounding, and my body felt like I'd gone three rounds with Mike Tyson, but yeah, other than that I was fine.

  “Why were you out here on the floor?” She asked again, her voice harder and louder than before. “Were you sleepwalking?”

  I opened my mouth to answer, only to clamp it shut as a cold film of recollection coated my pores. The party. The Ouija board. The noise. The movement... And then the pain.

  My mind whirled as I tried to think of something to tell Sydney. I couldn't tell her the truth. I knew her well enough to know that she'd either get pissed off about the Ouija board all over again or she'd start to worry about my health and maybe even my sanity. Hell, I was starting to question it myself.

  There was a chance I had dreamed the whole thing. Maybe I actually had been sleepwalking. Maybe my heart was acting up and I was seeing things.

  “What time is it?” I asked, evading her question.

  “A little after eight. Don't you have a nine o'clock final?”

  “Ugh. Yes.” I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stretched out my muscles before slowly making my way off the floor and into the bathroom.