Let's Scrooge

by R. L. Caulder

  He looks up at me in confusion, his usually vibrant green eyes shadowed in the dim light while the others start snickering.

  “Thank you, Angel,” Donovan drawls while tilting my chin in his direction and placing a light kiss on my lips. “As entertaining as it would be for all of us to be locked up in this place while Mother Nature tries to rip this island apart, this is better.”

  I release a throaty hum in acknowledgement and kiss him back.

  “You did this?” Felix questions, squeezing my foot to get my attention.

  “Controlling the weather was literally one of the first spells I ever cast,” I remind him, reaching out to run my fingers through his shaggy hair.

  “Controlling is a strong word for what happened in those early days,” Donovan teases, earning a glare from me.

  “Those poor, poor trees,” Felix laments, then cries out in surprise when I tug on his hair.

  “Am I ever going to live that down?” I grumble, flexing my legs in agitation, which just makes Kaleb and Felix hold onto them more securely.

  Nolan pats my head. “Sorry, love. Burning down half a forest and then vaporizing the other half really sticks with a person.”

  “That’s it, I’m gonna sleep alone, and you can all enjoy the incoming monsoon,” I seethe and attempt to stand. The attempt doesn’t really look like much since Connor tightens his arms around my waist, knowing they are empty threats. I can feel his amusement both through the bond and from him shaking with laughter, because my tempestuous start with trees is hilarious now.

  “Kaleb?” I say while looking down at his face.

  “Yes, columba mea?” he answers, a small smile tugging at his full lips.

  “Congratulations,” I extol. “Tonight you are Best Husband.”

  His face lights up with a wide grin, while Donovan complains, “Why him? I made all the delicious things you consumed today.”

  “Well, not everything,” Nolan teases, flashing a wicked smirk.

  “Shut up, Felix’s dick doesn’t count,” he fires back, and I nearly choke on my own spit.

  “Lesson of the day,” I announce through my own laughter. “Don’t make fun of your wife if you want to be her favorite.”

  “But it’s so much fun,” Nolan proclaims before dropping his voice to a smooth, husky purr. “I’ll just have to settle with being the sexiest husband.”

  “Yeah, that’s not you either,” Donovan taunts, rolling his body in the way he does when he wants to draw attention to his heavily muscled frame. This is very effective since he hasn’t bothered with a shirt.

  Nolan leans around me, his hand resting on my thigh, with a challenging look on his face. “That wasn’t what you were saying while my hand was wrapped around your—”

  “Ooookay, and we’re not finishing that sentence,” I interrupt, noticing Felix is several shades of red while Kaleb and Connor are doing that thing where they pretend that they’ve suddenly become hard of hearing. “I love you all equally. There. Happy?”

  “But I’m still the favorite for tonight, right?” Kaleb questions, apparently not as hard of hearing as I thought. His smug expression says everything. He’s enjoying the rare opportunity to rile the others up.

  “Los amo a todos, pero todos ustedes también me vuelven loca,” I grumble, lightly bumping my head against Connor’s chest. I’ve picked up Connor’s habit of switching between languages based on my irritation levels. It’s been surprisingly useful. Sometimes one language just isn’t enough.

  This, of course, amuses all of them, and they start laughing. Nothing unites them faster than trying to get a rise out of me. It doesn’t take long for me to join in, because I wouldn’t have them any other way.

  Once the laughter fades away, we sit in comfortable silence, enjoying the peace that comes from getting away from one’s daily life. As I begin to drift off to sleep, Kaleb gives my knee a light squeeze and rumbles, “Still feel bad about leaving everyone back home?”

  “Not anymore,” I answer with a yawn. “Best Yule present ever.”

  He hesitates for a moment, then appeals, “How about we do this every year? Maybe not always to a tropical island, but every Christmas it’s just the six of us.”

  Snuggled in the wonderful embrace of my husbands crowded around me, each of them touching me in some way, my mind’s eye drifts to the future. It watches as our family grows. Children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. It sees our day-to-day lives blur in this cacophony of joy, laughter, and love, but also packed with all the little things that seem important at the time. Except at least once a year, we take this time for us. For a few days, the world slows down in the quiet embrace of the men I love, and we simply exist, relishing all that life has brought that year.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” I reply, my tone filled with the softness of the love promised in the years to come. “I look forward to many, many more Christmas’s like this one.”

  There’s a muted chorus of hums in agreement, and one by one, we drift off to sleep, comforted by the knowledge that no matter what comes our way, we’ll always make time for each other.

  About H.A. Wills

  H.A. Wills has a BA in Art, specializing in digital media, but after over ten years working as a graphic designer, she could no longer ignore all the voices in her head and decided to start writing their stories down. The Southern California native dreams of far off places, but knows she’s too spoiled with all the state has to offer to ever stray too far from home. When she’s not glued to her computer, she enjoys long weekends reading and the occasional game of D&D.

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  A Christmas Karen: A Succubus Tale by Jacquelyn Faye

  Chapter 1

  "You want a hot cocoa?" I cocked an eyebrow at my female offspring, hoping I wasn't overdoing it.

  "With marshmallows?" Ryn shot me a hopeful look.

  "Of course."

  "And sprinkles?"

  "Don't push it, Girl Child." I reached over and in an uncharacteristic gesture, ruffled her hair affectionately.

  "Ooh. Physical contact. What's the special occasion?" She stopped and put her hand on her hip, giving me a suspicious look in the middle of mall.

  "Nothing. Sheesh. You're much too young to be so pessimistic."

  "You ruffled my hair."

  "I'm your mother. I'm allowed."

  "Allowed, yes. Ever have? Nope."

  I sighed and closed my eyes, letting the sound of the Christmas music wafting from the mall speakers calm my nerves. I found it kind of ironic that Christmas music was something I enjoyed. Or even Christmas at all, seeing how I was a demon and supposedly the root of all evil. Most of my kind would rather sleep through the yule season. Not I. Christmas was my shit. I floved it hardcore. It would have been a complete oxymoron if I didn't suck at it so hard. Picture Carol Baskin opening a marriage counseling practice. That was me and Christmas.

  Which brought us to my current predicament.

  We were Christmas shopping.

  And I was a horrible mother. I didn't have a single iota of any idea what to buy my offspring. That was always my late husband Ryan's department. I made the money, he spent it on the kids.

  He'd been gone for a little over a year, and it wasn't our first Christmas without him, but the last one had been abysmal. We didn't decorate, we didn't celebrate. Hell, I don't think I even got out of bed. My kids had been completely understanding and didn't complain once. I silently vowed to make it up to them this year by giving them actual presents instead of money or gift cards

  We had even gone all out with the
Christmas decorations. Our house looked like the north fucking pole. In fact, I had received a few–seventeen to be exact–notices of community guideline violations due to the enormity of our display from the HOA. I'd already racked up seven hundred dollars' worth of fines. They had even threatened legal action. I figured Christmas would be over before it went to court or I gutted the president of the HOA. Either way, it would be a win for the Dell Household.

  "Well. I'm sorry I'm not a physically affectionate person," I quipped after my nerves settled.

  "Coulda fooled me. You seem to get very physical with everybody but Karl and me." She even pouted.

  "It's because I love you more than anybody else on this earth."

  "You mean that?"

  I nodded without hesitating.

  "Then buy me sprinkles on my cocoa."

  "Done. If you tell me what to buy you and your brother for Christmas." I grinned evilly. I had yet to resort to blackmail to get the information I wanted, only because I hadn't thought of it. That would have saved me a few panic attacks.

  "Nope. Figger it out, Bud."

  I groaned. My daughter's favorite show in the whole world was Letterkenny. She had, as of recently, started quoting the show at every opportunity. If she started wearing plaid, I was going to sell her off to some Canadians and make a new one.

  "Come on. Buy me a cocoa with sprinkles and I'll tell you what to buy Karl. I'll compromise."

  "Swear?"

  "I pinky promise."

  "Deal!" I grabbed her pinky with mine and started dragging her toward the Starbucks kiosk. If she outed her brother, I could probably bribe him to sell his sister out, too. Problem solved.

  I should have thought to offer her something other than a hot beverage. The entire population of the mall was in line, waiting to order their Christmas-themed lattes. A groan of disappointment escaped my lips before I could stifle it. "Is there another place to get cocoa in the mall?"

  "There's a Brewsters in the food court, but it would probably take us longer to walk there than stand in line. Plus, Starbies is better."

  "Starbies?"

  "Starbucks."

  "Why didn't you just say Starbucks?"

  "Starbies is cuter. That's what all the kids are calling it these days."

  "Really?"

  "Yep."

  I shrugged and filed that one away in my mental hard drive. Maybe her friends would think I was cool if I called it that in front of them. "Fine. Let's go get some Starbies."

  "Yeah. I was kidding. Don't call it that. My friends will think you're weirder than they already do."

  "Gasp! Your friends think I'm weird?"

  "No. My friends know you're weird."

  "Cool. Then I can stop pretending that I'm a normal mom when they come over." I winked at her merrily, but deep down I was a little worried. We'd been living in Bickering for almost two months. To date, she had brought exactly two friends over one time. Ryn was adorable, if a little dorky. She should have had a dozen friends or more. Not to mention a gaggle of teenage boys following her around like lovesick puppies. Maybe her demonic pheromones hadn't kicked in yet. But, then again, she was half human. It was miraculous enough she could feed off lust. "How's everything going at school?" We stepped up to the back of the line.

  "Fine? Why?"

  "No reason. Just askin'." Movement out of the corner of my eye drew my attention away from my daughter. Karen was halfway up the ridiculously long line. When I made eye contact, she started motioning us toward her.

  Never ever look a gift Karen in the mouth.

  Grabbing Ryn's hand I pulled her behind me toward our neighbor, head of the PTA, busybody extraordinaire, but all-around good Karen. Even if she had a chicken butt haircut.

  "It's about time you got here. Sheesh. I've been waiting forever," she lied loudly as we approached and moved to the side of the practically single-file line to give us enough room to join her. She even winked as I stood next to her. Not a place I'd normally want to be, but if she shaved off an hour of our coffee queue, I'd roll with it. "I told you to meet me here at six," she fibbed smoothly so the people behind us wouldn't form an angry mob.

  "I thought you said sex. Meet me for sex. Not meet me at six," I added, nodding emphatically.

  Her beet-red, blushy cheeks made it all worth it. Sometimes, it was a lot of fun being me.

  "I would never!"

  "I know. Pity." I winked at her and caressed her cheek. She went from red to purple until my daughter took pity on her and slapped me on the back.

  "What did we say about unwanted physical contact?" The admonishment was strong with my young one.

  "Something about tea."

  "Huh?" Karen looked confused.

  "Yes. Physical contact is like a cup of tea. It's fine if somebody wants to drink a cup of tea, but you should never force someone to drink tea. It's from a video on sexual harassment we watched at school."

  "That's kind of brilliant." Karen nodded thoughtfully.

  "Stupid if you ask me. You should never force someone to drink hot tea. They'll burn their lips. Have you ever tried to kiss with third degree burns on your lips? Not fun. Trust me. Especially when they're covered with candle wax."

  Somewhere during my musings, Karen and Ryn stopped and stared at me in absolute horror.

  "What?"

  They shook their heads and gave each other an apologetic look before turning away and focusing awfully hard on the menu hanging from the front of the kiosk. We still weren't close enough to make out the words. They were probably just ignoring me. Which was fine with me once I spotted Grendel walking along the storefronts on the other side of mall. No, he wasn't the mythical monster from Beowulf. Lt. Josh Grindel was one of Bickering's finest police officers. And he was mine. All mine. And he looked luscious in his uniform.

  "Mom. Mom?" Ryn finally tugged on my sleeve to get my attention.

  "Yes, Girl Child?" I managed to tear my eyes from his pectoral muscles and smile at my offspring.

  "I said go say hi to Josh. I can buy my own cocoa."

  My natural instinct was to take her up on her offer, cross the mall, grab him by the collar and drag him to the nearest bathroom. But I could see the look in my daughter's eyes. That was exactly what she expected me to do. She wasn't even disappointed. Stoic, if anything. She was always putting my wants and needs above what she wanted. I shook my head and gave her a small smile. "Nope. I'll see him tonight. Girls' day, remember?"

  I was the one shooting for stoic and reserved. But then my daughter smiled at me. I almost clutched my chest at the unfamiliar feeling cramping the cavity surrounding my heart. It almost felt like it grew three sizes from that smile. I had made my daughter…happy? Hopefully the mall had a bar and a Starbucks. I definitely needed a drink.

  "You okay?" Karen timidly reached out but stopped before touching my arm out of concern.

  "Me? Yep. Fine." I turned and wiped the tear that had developed in the corner of my eye from the heater vent directly above us. It must have been drying out my sensitive left eye. Damn vents.

  "So, you guys have any plans for Christmas?"

  "Mom's going to burn a turkey."

  "No, I'm not."

  "Yes, you will."

  I shook my head at my daughter and grinned evilly. "Care to make a wager?"

  "You're having dinner catered. Aren't you?"

  "Maaaybe." I nodded, pleased with my own brilliance. Can't burn a turkey if you, in fact, don't cook said turkey. "How'd you know?"

  "If you were that confident, we weren't going to have gobble flambé, you had to have a plan."

  "You're pretty smart for still being in your larval phase."

  "Kara!" Karen huffed. "Didn't we talk about calling your kids larvae?"

  "Did we?" I shrugged. "Well, it's true. But soon, she shall be a brilliant gleaming adult."

  "Yippee." Ryn giggled. "I'm a bug!"

  "You're both weird." Karen backed up a little, almost into the person behind her, just to put a litt
le distance between her and us. As if we were contagious.

  "Different," I acquiesced.

  "Definitely." She sighed and stepped forward again as the line moved closer to the counter.

  "What about you?" I nudged Karen with my hip.

  "I'm not a bug."

  "No. What are your plans for Christmas?"

  She sighed and I could tell she wasn't happy. "Same thing we do every year."

  "Get drunk and screw the neighbors?" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.

  "Ha! That would definitely be preferrable to having dinner at the in-laws and giving Rick his Christmas present…"

  "Socks? Tie? What's wrong with that?"

  She shook her head and glanced nervously at Ryn, not wanting to elaborate in front of my daughter.

  It had something to do with sex and Karen put the prude in prudence.

  "Let's get some coffee and find someplace to talk." She was practically begging for my help. I could just feel it.

  Dr. Ruth? Call me Dr. Ruthless.

  We finally got our coffee and headed toward the fountain in the center of the mall, finding a spot with relative ease even though the mall was busier than a stripper's panties on Saturday night. I really wanted to get to the meat of the conversation with Karen, but I wasn't going to push Ryn away just to satisfy my curiosity.

  She took matters into her own hands, though.

  "Hey, Mom. I'm going to go buy a new makeup palette from Claire's. That okay?" She winked at me.

  "Absofrigginlutely. Here. Take my card." I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my debit card. She knew the pin. 6969 was a little hard to forget. I mouthed the words, "Thank you," when she got close enough to take the card and Karen couldn't see.

  "Be back in ten."

  "'Kay. Be careful. Watch out for strange men."

  "I'll send 'em your way if I see any."

  I chuckled softly and parked my butt next to Karen's, watching my daughter with a swell of pride as she ambled off, cocoa in hand. Turning toward my first and kind of only friend in Bickering, I glared at her. "Spill it."