Wine and Whiskey (Surviving Absolution #1)

by Nikki Belaire

  “Please don’t fight me on this. He’s the only person besides myself I trust to keep you safe.”

  An argument she can’t win. Letting Max protect her provides Nick with the only reprieve from the guilt he tortures himself with. “Okay. I’ll do it for you.”

  “Thank you.” He lets out a deep breath, relief softening his tight expression. “Are you okay from last night?”

  “Yes. We agreed to disagree, but Carrie is staying.”

  “Good.” His finger traces from her temple to her chin, warming her skin from his sensual touch. “I was happy to find you in my bed when I woke up.” The huskiness of his voice doesn’t mask the uncertainty lingering in his eyes.

  Before she can play along, she must eliminate his doubt, ensure he believes her commitment to him. “No matter what Nathan said, I wasn’t going to leave.”

  “I’m sorry if you thought I walked out on you. I hated seeing you caught in the middle, and I didn’t want to put any more pressure on you.”

  “You’re the only one who doesn’t.” She shakes her head at her own irrationality. He knows what happened when she and Evan broke up, yet doesn’t push, never makes her feel like he wants more than what she gives. He loves her. She should say it too. They’re just words. Simple words that make people happy. And hurt people. Words uttered too easily, without understanding the impact when they’re rescinded.

  He caresses her cheek, lifting her face to his. “I don’t give a damn what anyone else says or does, we both know how we feel about each other. That’s all I need.” He rests his forehead against hers, claiming her heart again with his tenderness. “Besides, if you had left, I would have come for you.”

  As always, he lets her off the hook, gives her an out she never even has to ask for. “You just want back in my panties.”

  His eyes darken, and he licks his lips before sucking the tender spot under her ear and trailing kisses down her throat, stoking the fire in her only he can ignite. “If I didn’t have this meeting to get to, I’d have you back in bed, but without this.” He curls his finger around her belt, pulling it loose and sliding his hands up her back. Tingles shoot through her body at his fingers flexing against the bare skin above her negligee, making her almost whimper as they graze the straps. “Or anything else that would get in the way.”

  She runs her hands over his black jacket and tugs his sapphire tie, the perfect match to the deep pools of his eyes. “But you’re so sexy in your suit.”

  He nips her earlobe before his warm breath tickles her sensitive skin. “Work or birthday?”

  “Both.” She shivers at his groan against her neck. His hands slip under the hem of her nightgown and glide over her body, stopping at her breasts, her nipples responding to his insistent touch before she forces herself to step back. “You’re going to be late.”

  “It’s worth it.”

  She laughs and shakes her head. “You’ll never get away with it. Max will call for you.”

  “Fine.” They lock eyes as he ties her robe together, his lips curled into a sexy smirk. “What’s your schedule for today?”

  “I’m going to see Jason. Even though I dread it, we need to talk.”

  The playfulness gone, his mouth sets in a hard line. Disapproval radiates from his pinched expression, but he remains silent.

  “Then, I meet with Team Shae. We have the movie premiere in New York in two weeks.” She smiles at his raised eyebrows as he waits for more. “You can come along…if you want.”

  He pulls her to him, his deep, low voice humming against her lips. “You really think I’d let you go without me?”

  “I’d never want you to.”

  His growl vibrates in her mouth as he plunges his tongue inside, stealing her breath with his fervor. Proof of his need presses against her stomach, and he cups her face, devouring her lips with an insatiable hunger she longs to feed. When they have time to enjoy it. “Nick?”

  “Damn meeting.” He shakes his head before burying his face in her neck, his panting breath blowing against her hair. “I love you. Be careful and do what Max tells you.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  After he kisses her goodbye, she changes into workout clothes and jogs down the stairs. Max waits in the foyer, his smile seemingly genuine rather than reflecting the annoyance he must feel being saddled with her for the day. He nods toward the door. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes, if you are.” She returns the sentiment, reminded how his intimidating stature conceals the gentleness underneath. “I’m sorry you have to babysit me.”

  “No big deal. Besides, I thought maybe we could hit that doughnut place on Van Nuys after you’re done.”

  She can’t help but laugh. He uses her weakness as an excuse to support his own addiction. “I think it defeats the purpose of going to the gym if you follow it up with sweets.”

  He shrugs, feigning indifference rather than guilt. “Okay, suit yourself.”

  “Now, hold on. I didn’t say no.”

  He laughs all the way to the garage. Inside the second of six bays, he introduces her to a short, stocky man with a halo of red and gray hair, standing next to the limo. “Shae, this is Leo. He’s part of our security team, filling in for Jacks until he’s feeling better.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  The driver nods as he opens the car door. “You too, ma’am."

  All the oxygen evaporates from her lungs. She gasps for air, suffocating from Juan’s musky cologne drifting from the backseat, pummeling her with memories. He stares at her, a confident smirk playing on his lips. “Your life or his. You decide.”

  “Shae? Are you okay?”

  Concern and confusion twist through Max’s tone. She fists his jacket to try and stop the swaying, and points to the backseat with her other hand. “Juan…”

  “No one’s in the car. I swear.” His fingers grip her trembling shoulders, turning her toward him, forcing her to meet his gaze and return to the present. “You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  Her voice lost in fear, she nods as he loosens his grasp. Looking back in the car, Juan’s vanished. Just like the false sense of safety she let herself be lulled into. Shattered at the first reminder of the carjacking and his threats.

  Clutching her elbow, Max guides her away from the limo. “How about I drive your car?”

  After closing the door behind her, he climbs in on the driver’s side and drums his fingertips on the steering wheel. They sit in silence while she takes a few cleansing breaths. In and out. Slow, deep, and even. Calm infuses her body as air fills her belly, replacing the fear engulfing her. She opens her eyes and blushes at Max’s stiff posture as he watches her. “I’m sorry I freaked out. My imagination got the best of me I guess.”

  “No need to apologize. You’ve been through a lot.”

  She leans over and gives him a quick hug, awkwardly maneuvering between the seat and steering wheel to encircle his neck. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

  “You’re welcome. I’m just glad you’re okay and there’s no baby coming out.”

  A loud, ugly laugh bursts out of her mouth, releasing the last of her anxiety. “That’s Lamaze, not ujjayi.”

  He winks before putting the car in gear. “We’re good?”

  She smiles and clicks her seatbelt. “We’re good.”

  * * * *

  “Hi.”

  Jason looks up from tossing white towels into the industrial-sized washing machine filling the corner of his makeshift office also doubling as a storage closet. Too proud to let her help him, he has a long way to go until the gym is the dream he imagines it to be.

  “What are you doing here?”

  No smile or welcoming nod. Just an indifferent shrug of his shoulders making her stomach hurt. “It’s seven o’clock. I came to work out like always.”

  He glances at his watch before resuming his work. “Where’s Nick?”

  She skirts the truth to protect the men she loves. Their alread
y tumultuous relationship doesn’t need another argument to sever the tenuous connection. “He had a meeting and couldn’t make it.”

  His body stiffens as he stuffs the linens deeper into the tub. All the years they’ve known each other, they’ve never fought, somehow always avoiding conflict. Until now.

  “Can we talk?”

  After pushing a few buttons on the control panel, he plops down in the ratty chair behind his desk. The piped-in music fades to a new song, the acoustic version of her first hit. She sticks her tongue out. “I hate hearing myself.”

  He sings along for a few lines, his voice soft and wistful, perhaps remembering like she does how good things used to be between them. Maybe as hopeful as she is they can be again.

  “You sound so young.”

  “I would hope so. I was only seventeen.”

  Everyone, including herself, thought if she was lucky she might be a one-hit wonder. Yet, her first single rose to number one in just a few weeks. Practically unheard of in the music industry. She broke into the top ten with her next few songs, forever cementing her career as a pop star princess.

  “A lot’s changed since then.”

  Hopefully not their friendship. She leans forward, grasping the edge of his desk. “I know you don’t agree with my choices, but I still want you in my life.”

  “I wish you would have listened to me from the beginning. Then you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

  She also wouldn’t be in love, happier than she thought possible after Evan. The right relationship with whom everyone thinks is the wrong man.

  “You love him, don’t you?” His shakes his head at her smile before his eyes roll to the ceiling. “That’s perfect. You love him, he loves you, and I’ll probably be attending your funeral soon. Good thing I just bought a new suit.”

  Her cheeks burn as hot as if he’d slapped her. Jason may be a drama king, but she refuses to put up with his cruel remarks. “I have to go.”

  He races around the desk and grabs her arm as she turns away. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just scared to death I’m going to lose you.”

  Shrugging him off, she points to his chest. “If you were really my friend, you would love me no matter what. Just like I have you all these years, even when you didn’t love yourself.”

  His hands rub over his bare head, resting on the back of his neck. His fingers blindly trace the tattered rope tattoo, a reminder of how close she came to losing him. “I know. You saved me, and I’m only trying to do the same for you.”

  “I don’t need saving. I just want your friendship.”

  “You have it. Even if I’m frustrated at you, I still love you.” He pulls her into a hug, and they hold each other until a new song plays from the ceiling speaker. “But I can’t sit by and watch him destroy you.”

  “He’s not—”

  “He told me once never to put you in the position to have to defend him. That’s not possible when you’re with him.”

  Her heart races at the ultimatum behind his words. She steps back and scans his face, but he won’t meet her eye, his gaze focused on the window behind her. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m sorry, but you know how I feel about him. I can’t be a part of this.”

  “That’s it? You’re really making me choose between you?”

  He shakes his head before walking back to the laundry area and yanking open the dryer door. Years of friendship ending because of her new beginning.

  “Jason, please?”

  The growing stack of folded towels is her only answer.

  Back at the house, she thanks Max with a forced smile and rushes upstairs. Ready to curl into a ball and let all of her grief rain out with her tears, her stomach lurches at Spencer walking through the bedroom, flipping wall switches. A cocky smirk crosses his face, clearly amused at her shock to find him there. “Good morning!”

  He’s just working. Like Nick said—taking care of the house and grounds. She smiles, pushing away her apprehension, reminding herself it’s unwarranted. “Good morning. What’s going on?”

  He rattles the brown box in his hand before lowering it enough to reveal the contents. “Changing light bulbs. It’s part of my morning routine to go room by room and see what needs to be fixed.”

  Perfectly logical explanation. No need to be afraid. She nods, attempting to be gracious. “Well, thanks for checking, but we don’t have any that are out.”

  His mouth twists in disapproval. “We, huh? It didn’t take you very long to make yourself right at home here, did it?”

  Heat races from her neck to her cheeks at his ambiguous implications. None of which are flattering. “I think you need to—”

  “What do I need to do?” The innocent-sounding question contrasts with the dread flooding her body. He steps closer, his wordless threat hovering between them, as the fruity tartness of his gum wafts across her face.

  “Go.”

  A bright smile returns. “Okay, sure. I’m glad you’re comfortable. If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know. See you later.” Concealing his intimidation with a light-hearted whistle, he winks and strides out of the room.

  With trembling hands, she locks the door behind him before sliding to the floor cradling her head.

  Juan. Jason. Spencer.

  Her mother was mistaken. It’s not just her heart she needs to worry about.

  Chapter Ten

  The faint click of the lock vibrates under Nick’s fingers as he turns the knob. Damn. She still doesn’t feel safe. Not in his home, maybe not with him. Nothing to keep her from running away if she gets spooked. He blows out a deep breath and runs his hands over his face before knocking. “Shae?”

  After a minute, the bedroom door opens, and she gives him a shy smile, her eyes dropping from his gaze to her hand clutching the towel wrapped around her body. Fucking shit. He’s a lucky bastard to come home and find his beautiful sweetness almost naked and covered in bubbles. “If I’d known this was waiting for me, I would’ve left work a hell of a lot earlier.” His fingers curl around the ribbed edge and yank her against him.

  She shakes her head and presses against his chest, her laugh encircling his groin like a vise. “You’ll get soaked.”

  “I don’t care. It’s worth it.”

  Before he finishes the last syllable, her arms slide under his jacket and around his waist. Breathing in her raspberry-scented bath oil, he smiles at the collection of soaps, lotions, and perfumes covering the counter, infusing the air with a bouquet of fruits and flowers, bringing a feminine touch to the house he welcomes.

  “I missed you.”

  The intensity of her hug resurrects his fury at her so-called friend. That selfish jerk hurt her, and she’s suffered all day, never letting him know. “Me too. Are you okay?”

  Her hair swishes against his shirt as she squeezes him tighter. “Let’s talk about it later.”

  Forcing himself not to pressure her, he lets it drop. For now. “Okay.” He caresses her head before pressing his lips against the silky strands entwined in his fingers. “You know you’re safe here. You don’t have to lock the door.”

  She nods and steps back from him, wrapping the towel tighter around herself, not believing his assertion. His gut tightens at the frown darkening her angelic face, her fingers tracing the coiled texture of the fabric in uncertainty. Shaking her head as if pushing away her doubts, she smiles and tugs his tie. “How was your day?”

  Already longing for her touch again, he massages the tight muscles in his neck. “Long. Even out of the country, Juan keeps fucking with me.”

  Her fingers fall away at the mention of that bastard’s name. “I was hoping all the trouble would be gone with him. But I'm glad you’re home now. It’s so late, and you missed dinner.”

  “I’m sorry. I should have called. I’m not used to having someone waiting for me.” He rubs her cheek with his thumb, her head leaning into his hand seeking comfort too. “I have to make one mo
re call, and then I’m all yours.”

  “I’d like that.”

  His eyes never leave her as he shrugs out of his jacket, his phone pressed to his ear. Janice picks up on the first ring.

  “Good evening, Mr. DeMarco.”

  “Did legal get back to you with their changes?”

  “Yes, sir. I’ve made the final edits. They’re ready for your signature.”

  Unaware he watches her, Shae pats herself dry and rubs lotion down her arms and across her stomach. She slips on her pink silk robe, ruining his view, and sits on the side of the tub spreading purple cream on her legs. Fucking shit. Heat blazes through his veins like lava from her delicate touch trailing along her bare skin.

  His stomach clenches at her deep concentration, the worry furrowing across her forehead. He needs to know what Jason said to her. “Anything major?”

  “No, just a few tweaks. Is there anything else you need tonight?”

  After Shae finishes, she walks into the bedroom carrying a round yellow container. Her pink tipped fingers slide off his loosened tie and unbutton his shirt. The epitome of temptation stands between his legs, undressing him, yet her eyes never meet his. Before he can assist her with her efforts, she moves behind him and massages his neck and shoulders with the rich lotion. He stifles a moan as she strokes his arms and lower back.

  “Mr. DeMarco?”

  “No, that’s it, Janice. Thank you. See you in the morning.”

  Unable to concentrate any longer, he tosses the phone onto the side table. His groin and conscience lock in battle to determine if he should let her keep going or return the favor in more ways than one. “You’re an angel. What did I do to earn all of this?”

  “You love me.” Her essence is reflected in those three words. Oblivious to the undeniable power she wields over him, she offers him comfort amidst her own pain.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Nothing else matters.”

  He reaches backward and takes her hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it, the buttery taste of almonds on her silky skin. “Sometimes I forget, but you’re right.”