A Sky Full of Secrets

by Briana Pacheco

  His lips are moving like he’s talking to himself. When I get closer, his head snaps up and he turns to me, his eyes dropping to my breasts. And then he does the strangest thing. He pulls me into his chest, squeezing so hard it feels like my boobs might actually pop. His chest vibrates and I pinch his side. “I can’t hear you, idiot. Let go. And that coffee tastes like shit.”

  He looks down at me then turns my head to the left, showing me the dining room full of Sloan’s.

  I throw my arms over my chest and back away, terrified.

  OHMYGOD!

  I just flashed his brother and oldest sister.

  His mother and father.

  That woman freaked out when Phoenix was shirtless with me around, I can only imagine what she now thinks of the hussy walking around practically naked around her son.

  I make a run for the stairs after my brain short-circuits. Loki intercepts me as soon as I step for the first stair. Because I don’t want to crush my puppy, I step sideways, missing the stair entirety, and I lose my balance. I try to grab the banister but my arms flail and I go down, face-first onto the hardwood floor. Something hard digs into my hip. I’m pretty sure it’s one of Loki’s toys that my father brought with him.

  Today can’t get any worse, I think, rolling onto my back.

  Phoenix appears above me, ripping his shirt off and covering me. He bends down and signs, Anything broken? I shake my head and groan as I sit up. Sorry. Phoenix gets a look like he’s constipated as he stares at his hands. He finally gives up and I read his lips, “I brought you coffee so you wouldn’t come down. Thanks for telling my mom her coffee sucks though. Everyone suffered for years.” His lips tilt up as he eyes my covered chest. “Pretty sure Noland just came in his pants.”

  I hold up my hand and flip him off.

  Phoenix helps me stand and walks me upstairs. Mac walks out of his room, rubbing his eyes, yawning and stretching, only in boxer briefs. He deflates when he sees me, and his hands instantly go up to question me.

  I calm him down by signing that I’m fine, I just fell. Phoenix must tell him that his family is downstairs because I see Mac’s jaw clench and he says, “You have to tell her when people are over. You know that.” I don’t know what Phoenix answers with, but whatever it is, leaves Mac shaking his head and pulling me into the bathroom with him. He checks out my eyebrow that seems to be getting redder with every passing second. I move Phoenix’s t-shirt to the side to check out my hip and sure enough there’s a small bruise starting to form.

  Mac starts to sign, They were heading into town when their car broke down so they’re staying here until the car’s done. And Noland mentioned that you and Phoenix are sleeping together so now the whole Sloan clan is being nosy and asking questions because they assume you two are dating now.

  “I knew sleeping with him would be a bad idea,” I mutter. I shouldn’t have done it. What was I thinking? That’s just it, you weren’t. Your lonely vagina was. I jumped onto the first guy that was willing to sleep with me, and it happened to be Phoenix.

  You should never sleep with your roommate. You live together and see each other way too often. It’s too much for a ‘just sex’ kind of thing. Now his family is involved and questioning things that don’t need answers.

  Mac sees my dilemma and raises his hands again. Hey, it’s nothing to get mad over. You’re just having sex.

  They think we’re dating! I’m going to look like the biggest slut when they find out it’s just a casual thing. His mother will freak–

  His mother will understand. She’s not used to seeing a naked woman walk around a house occupied with males. And she really wants Nix to settle down soon so she’s just curious. Mac cups my face in his large hands and gives me a reassuring nod. “Stop freaking out.”

  I can’t. His mother seemed like a sweet woman when we first met. I don’t want to ruin what she thought of me. It’s who I am. I try to come off as someone a person will like because knowing the real me is maddening. I like the silence before I go to bed. I like sex. I like having my own space. And I don’t particularly like people. But that’s rude to tell someone so you just act the part and hope you don’t hurt their feelings.

  I would never disrespect someone’s parents by walking around naked for them to see. I keep that part of myself hidden until it’s time to get freaky. I have standards.

  But I didn’t know they were downstairs. And I live here.

  Stop freaking out. Phoenix should have written that down. It’s his fault, I tell myself.

  Okay. I’m starting to calm down.

  Not really.

  I sign, Can we go out? I need some air.

  Mac nods and takes a step back so he can start the shower then he signs, Give me ten minutes, okay?

  My fingers play with the bottom of Phoenix’s shirt after I slip it on and I nod.

  I stand in the bathroom like a weirdo as Mac pulls his boxers down and steps into the shower. His body looked great when we were together but holy fuck he looks even better now after so many years of running and lifting weights.

  I feel the blush creep up my neck as I stare at my naked best friend. I haven’t thought of Mac in a sexual way since the last time we had sex. I don’t feel anything, nothing like I do when I stare at Phoenix.

  We’re strictly friends now.

  When the staring starts to feel awkward, I slip out of the bathroom and walk toward my room, looking over my shoulder every few steps, making sure a Sloan doesn’t suddenly appear upstairs.

  I stop short when I find Phoenix sitting at the foot of my bed, Loki running in circles beside him. He’s wearing another t-shirt and the look of complete embarrassment is clear as day on that handsome face.

  I stare at his hands signing, I’m so sorry that happened.

  I shrug like it’s no big deal even though I want to whip him with a pillow a few times for not giving me a heads up that his family is downstairs.

  Don’t do that. It’s my fault, he signs slowly. You have every right to be mad.

  I nod as I head toward my bed. I really don’t want to argue over something I can’t change. It happened. It’s boobs. I can try and forget about it. Try being the key word.

  Loki stays by the edge of my bed, wanting attention. He must be annoyed with me for not hearing his barks and taking him out yet. I scratch his ears until he’s lying on his back, squirming under my hand.

  Phoenix slips his long fingers around my wrist, halting my puppy’s love. His eyes fall to my legs before slowly crawling up my body. Heat pools between my legs by the time our eyes collide. His intense stare has my insides turning into a puddle of lust.

  “You’ve never worn my shirt before,” I read his lips. His hand drops from my wrist, stopping at my thigh, and he runs a finger up, up, up until his shirt rides up my stomach. He grabs my hip and smiles, pulling my body forward.

  I murmur, “Gentle,” when he touches the sore part.

  “Sorry. Why did you come downstairs?”

  “Because you told me not to.”

  Phoenix’s eyes crinkle as he shakes his head at me. Then I’m being pulled down, and his lips are on mine. His hands squeeze my butt then give it a little slap before roaming up and around my body, palming my breasts under his shirt.

  I straddle him, my fingers lost in his hair, tugging hard.

  This is what I wanted last night.

  This is what we’re supposed to be doing instead of lying in a bed, making out like teenagers. It was weird for me; to not have sex with Phoenix after we climbed back in through the window.

  Phoenix agreed to the whole sex thing.

  Meaningless sex and nothing more. That’s what I want.

  I drag my hand from his hair, up my chest, and I grab one of his. I slide his hand down my body, stopping when he’s right over my panties, and I make him add pressure. His skilled fingers push my panties to the side.

  And then nothing.

  I tear my mouth off his, and sit back against his legs, confused.

>   His eyes are somewhere over my shoulder before landing back on me.

  I look back and see Mac walking into his room with a smirk on his face.

  I climb off of Phoenix’s lap and walk to my closet, annoyed. “He doesn’t care, Phoenix! He wants us to fuck each other. If he had a problem, we’d know.”

  I’m frustrated that he doesn’t do what I want him to do.

  I’m frustrated that he stops at the sight of Mac.

  I’m frustrated that he doesn’t fuck me. Like, come on, I’m ready and willing. One word from his mouth and my panties are gone.

  I strip off Phoenix’s damn shirt and pull on shorts and a loose t-shirt. I stomp back over to my bed, ignoring Phoenix and his hands. When I check the weather app on my phone and see that it’s perfect weather, I turn back around and stride to my dresser, plucking a pair of black thigh-highs from a drawer. I smile to myself as I pull them over my legs because they have cute little kitty faces on the tops of them.

  I see Phoenix’s gift he gave me sitting on top of my dresser, unopened. I’ll open it when he’s not around. He pissed me off and I don’t want to know what he got me.

  When I’m ready to go, I swipe Loki off my bed, ignoring Phoenix and his stupid fingers that only add to the ache I need to relieve. “We’re having sex tonight.” I give him a pointed look before I leave my bedroom.

  He stares at me with a sheepish grin on his stupid handsome face and he nods.

  He better nod. He better be thinking of the things he’s going to do to me to make up for the lack of sex I’m currently receiving from him because I sure am thinking of how I’m going to return the favor after I feel satisfied. Possibly after I ride his face.

  I walk down the hallway and it isn’t until I’m at the door that I realize I left my ears behind. Phoenix messed up my daily routine. That asshole.

  Mac joins me within seconds, grabbing Loki’s leash and he calls out to someone as he rushes me out the door. He signs to me that he told the Sloan’s we’re leaving and wish we could stay and chat but I’m not a friendly person today.

  I actually laugh as we head outside.

  Loki leads the way of his walk, sniffing every crack in the sidewalk. He stops at a corner house, which Mac informs me is the home of the old lady that thinks he and Phoenix are flirting with when they go for their runs.

  There are dwarf lilac shrubs surrounding the front yard and I can’t help but stand by Mrs. Sexton’s white picket fence and take long breaths of the sweet smell filling the air. Her garden is well-tended with bursts of colors from all the different flowers.

  Loki tugs on his leash, sending me through the slightly open fence gate. He jumps onto the fresh soil along the walkway, and my heart gives out when he starts pawing at the Summer Snowflakes. They’re a delicate drooping bell-shaped flower that look beautiful bundled together and my dog is ruining them. All the hard work it took for this woman to plant them and for what, for my dog to be an asshole. “Loki, no!” I drop down to my knees and pull him from destroying flowers that belong to someone else. He thrashes in my arms, trying to spring free but I stand and head back onto the sidewalk, closing the gate.

  Mac signs something to me but I miss it. I set Loki down and look up at Mac for him to repeat it. I think he just planted those.

  Who?

  Mac points behind me, toward the house, so I turn.

  A young man stands by the stairs, dirt covering spots of his t-shirt and hands. Purple pansies sit by his feet, waiting to be planted next. He looks at me for a long second before turning his eyes to the lopsided plant my dog thought was a toy.

  “I’m so sorry. My dog…he’s a puppy.” That should explain everything right. Puppies do stupid things sometimes.

  Mac stands beside me so I can see him sign while he speaks to the guy. “We don’t mind helping you fix them. Really. My friend here adores flowers and I can guarantee that she’s just as upset as you are about them.”

  I turn my eyes to the guy, and I’m stunned when he signs back, I did just spend two hours planting them.

  He wipes a hand on his already dirty t-shirt and walks down the pathway until he’s standing in front of us, the fence keeping us apart. He’s tall. Six-foot-one maybe. His dirty blonde hair looks like he ran his hand through it until he got the perfect wave-like style he’s rocking. His sky-blue eyes look kind and his smile, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me want to blush. He’s hands down one of the most drool worthiest men I’ve ever seen. Right after Phoenix; he has all the traits I like in a man. One look at him and my body starts to quiver. Let’s just say Phoenix sets the bar really high.

  This guy looks young though, around Noland’s age.

  I’m Jedidiah. Edith’s grandson, he signs. He hooks his thumb over his shoulder to indicate that Edith is the old lady that lives here. He leans forward, looking down at my feet then he backs up, and it looks like he’s chuckling. Your dog really wants in.

  I look down to find Loki standing on his back paws, his front ones scratching the fence, trying desperately to break through. Yeah, sorry– I drop my hands and stare at Jedidiah quizzically. “You sign,” I comment. He hears Loki scratching the door and he signs. He doesn’t have a hearing aid or sound processors. But he hasn’t spoken. When Mac has to sign to me, he speaks out loud when someone else is involved in the conversation.

  I want to ask more questions but Jedidiah answers before I can. I’m a mute. Have been since I was ten.

  “Oh.” I look over at Mac who’s looking back at me with curious eyes. I know I’m speaking to a stranger when I can’t even hear myself talk. It’s weird for me. But I’m getting used to it because I’ve been doing it with Phoenix and he hasn’t said anything bad about it. Deaf at the age of six, I sign. His eyes don’t change. Usually people tend to feel pity for me when they learn that. Do you prefer other people signing when you interact with them?

  Jedidiah tilts his head to the side a bit, his eyes crinkling at the sides as they sweep over my face. I like hearing you speak. It’s soft. Beautiful. Comforting.

  I feel something lodge in my throat. I try to clear it. It doesn’t help. I look down at Loki and decide I need something to hold so I don’t end up feeling stupid as I blush from a stranger’s words. I swoop down and take my dog into my arms. “So, um…do you need help? With the flowers. Re-planting them.”

  Mac wipes a hand over his face. I don’t miss the smile he’s trying to hide. I pinch his side and give him a pointed look. I mumble when I’m put into awkward positions. I can’t help it.

  He winks at me. I roll my eyes.

  Jedidiah reaches out and scratches Loki’s ears. If he can promise not to ruin my grandmother’s flowers, I’d gladly accept the help.

  I turn Loki in my arms so we’re staring at each other. “Can you be a good boy and not ruin the flowers?” His mouth opens, I don’t hear a thing. “Be good.” I set him down and offer Jedidiah a warm smile. “I’d really love to help.”

  He opens the gate and we walk through. Loki heads for the lopsided flower again, bumping his head against it a few times. Jedidiah shrugs and signs, I guess he can have that one. Loki backs up from the flower then rams into it again, and that’s when I notice a red ladybug nestled on one of the petals.

  Oh, Loki. It’s just a ladybug.

  Mac helps Jedidiah fix the soil and straighten the rest of the flowers before we help him plant the pansies near the stairs.

  We plant in silence.

  And it’s one of the best days I’ve had in a really long time.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Phoenix

  “I haven’t seen breasts that perky since the eighties,” my father discloses once Luna and MacKay leave the house. He turns toward my mother and she scoffs at him. Eliza and Noland groan. I screw my eyes shut and shake my head as I walk into the dining room because I honestly don’t need to think of my mother’s breasts nor replay what my father just said. Ever.

  “If Noland didn’t stare at her like a panting dog,
bringing our attention to it, we could have spared her the embarrassment,” Eliza says, giving Noland a look. “That was severely messed up.”

  “I know, I’m sorry!” Noland stands and runs both hands through his hair a few times. “It just happened. I looked up and…and…boobs! What did you want me to do? Look away and vomit? I’m a man.”

  “You sure as shit don’t bring attention to it by slamming your cup on the table, looking right at her,” I add, taking a seat beside him.

  I fucking hate that he saw her like that. I don’t want anyone, aside from me, looking at her when she’s half naked. And it’s thoughts like these that would end what we have. Because when a man gets possessive, he’s in deep.

  Noland rolls his eyes at me. “Mom was the one who yelled ‘Luna, you’re naked!’ at the top of her lungs. It’s basically Mom’s fault. Not mine.”

  “He does have a point, honey,” Dad offers, earning him a narrow-eyed look from Mom.

  “Don’t start, Gerald,” she warns.

  “Can we stop talking about a naked Luna, please?” I blurt. Thinking of Luna naked is making me hard and that is something I can’t be around my family. Think of something else, not the way her tits feel in your hand. “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Eliza is pregnant.” I eye my sister and wait for her to continue the conversation we had before Luna came downstairs. After picking my family up from the auto-body shop, Eliza decided I was worthy of knowing that I’m going to an uncle in seven months. She and my parents were on their way to the bridal shop so they can get the dress altered to be looser around the stomach area because of the recent weight gain. Noland decided to come along because Mystique is getting spayed and they have to be away from each other for some time.

  I’m stuck with my family for the next hour while their car gets worked on.

  “Margo blurted it out to Mom last week so our surprise was ruined. Now everyone knows.” Eliza shrugs and picks at the fruit slices on her plate. “Back to you and Luna. Are you dating or is it just sex? Because that always turns into more.”