A Sky Full of Secrets

by Briana Pacheco

  Luna’s face lights up.

  Mackenzie turns to face me, and whispers, “It’s the little things that mean the most.”

  He walks up the stairs, leaving me with Loki by my feet. I smile down at him because he’s a dog and he’s going to have to get used to me. Luna is busy blocking the door as she waits to see her dad leave that she doesn’t get to witness this little dog get as close to me as possible before he pisses on the floor.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I move away so my feet don’t get peed on.

  The front door closes, and Luna turns, her smile disappearing as she sees what the fuck just happened. “Loki! No!” She picks him up, giving him a disappointed look. “We agreed that you would wait for your walk.” Her eyes look up, up, up. “I’m so sorry. I’ll clean it up. Please don’t hate him. He’s just a puppy.” They’ve known each other for two hours and she’s already defending him. He should feel lucky.

  “Luna.” She blinks. “I’ve dealt with dogs before. Unless he’s shitting on my things then we’re not going to have a problem.”

  “I should have asked you guys if keeping him was okay.” She walks into the kitchen, wets a few paper towels then walks back and drops down onto the floor. “I invade your space then I bring in a dog. I’m such an awesome roommate.”

  “Hey.” I join her on the floor, taking Loki from her arm. Once I put him down, he runs away, most likely looking for trouble in his new home. “This house is just as much yours as it is ours. And I understand that you’re deaf but I’m pretty sure you know that we’re not complaining.”

  She whacks my chest with her hand. The same hand that is holding the dog piss paper towels. Her eyes turn into discs, and her mouth drops open.

  “Seriously,” I deadpan. I tried avoiding being pissed on, and now I have his pee and water on my shirt. Because of his human. Unbelievable.

  Luna stands, and with a straight face says, “Yo no habla Inglés,” and darts upstairs. She so does speak English!

  Loki runs after her seconds later. He’s so tiny, watching him go up the stairs makes me chuckle. Damn little dogs and their adorableness.

  I watch them both disappear from my line of sight, and I can only think about one thing; Luna sounds fucking sexy speaking Spanish. I recall Mackenzie telling me how many languages Luna can speak, and I was so damn impressed. I never heard her speak anything other than English. And I’m itching to hear more.

  ***

  Luna’s number one rule that we all live by is: if the door is closed, do not go in. She won’t hear you knock so you’ll stand out there until she decides to come out. But it’s her birthday and we didn’t even have a cake. And I’m disappointed. So I make a quick stop at a bakery nearby and grab a box of cupcakes. When I get home, I look for a lone candle but there are none, not surprising. I make MacKay go buy one and return it before he leaves for the night. Before leaving the house, he digs around in the kitchen, hands me a mug, and says, “Luna made this then forgot to give it to you earlier.”

  I can lie and say I don’t admire that fucking mug but I do because it’s a sky full of stars, and when I look at it a little closer, I see the Phoenix constellation. Out of every popular constellation out there, she painted that one. It brings me back to when I was younger and my dad told me the story of how I got my name. His father traveled a lot because of the stars. My love for astronomy comes from him. My grandfather spent a few years in Australia before he came back to America where he met my grandmother within days. The last constellation he sought out was the Phoenix. His star-gazing journey ended when he was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s at the age of thirty-seven and past four years later.

  Every birthday, I’d wish to travel out of the country so I could see it in person. I want to continue my grandfather’s passion. I’ve yet to travel outside of the United States.

  I walk down the hallway and pause at Luna’s closed door. I hear Loki making noise in there, but other than that, Luna is silent. I pray to every higher being there is that I don’t get attacked when I open the door. Luna is little but she gets aggressive.

  I knock once just in case.

  Loki barks and then I hear scratching on the door so I wait a few seconds.

  Nothing.

  I turn the knob and crack the door open. Loki pops his head out and when he sees it is me, he shuts up and saunters over to Luna. I open the door even more. My eyes land on Luna in the middle of the room, doing a handstand on a yoga mat.

  Loki walks around her in circles, stopping and staring to see if he catches her attention. He doesn’t. Her eyes are closed and her chest rises and falls in measured breaths. It must be amazing to not hear a thing in times like these. She can do yoga without anyone bothering her.

  Besides you, asshole. Back away.

  After a few tries to knock her over, Loki gives up and starts searching her room.

  I try to step back so I don’t interrupt her because now I feel shitty for invading her privacy and almost ruining her quiet time.

  Before I can shut the door, a soft thud rings out and Luna is now on her knees. My eyes follow her legs as she stands. They stay on her ass for some time because, come on, she’s wearing yoga pants and I like her ass, then they travel up when she turns and glares at me. Her glare quickly turns into amusement when she sees the cupcake with a candle I’m holding. “For me?” she asks, her voice softer than normal.

  My eyes travel down her face, quickly looking back up when I confirm that her ears are bare. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable with me. I already feel like the biggest douche for what happened this morning. I wanted to do something different and I honestly thought she wouldn’t mind. She makes the hottest little noises when she can’t hear them and I wanted to keep hearing them.

  I nod, handing over the cupcake. Loki runs over to us and nudges Luna’s legs, whining for some food. I guess the cupcake wasn’t worthy enough in my hands. I see how it is. He already warmed up to Luna. Looks like I need to sneak him a few treats soon.

  I reach into my back pocket and hand her my hand-wrapped gift. After our talk about her not being used to the winter weather, I went ahead and bought some fleece thigh-highs with animal faces on them. They’re really girly and I think she’ll like them. It is her birthday. She deserves something, right?

  She takes the gift. “You didn’t have to but thank you.”

  “Mackenzie gave me my mug. I wanted to say thank you. It’s awesome. I can’t believe you picked the Phoenix constellation. It has a special story–”

  Luna’s brows furrow as her eyes watch my mouth. “Speak slower. And you look mad. Are you mad? Is the mug ugly?” She waits for my answer. I say no. “Oh, okay.” She looks down at Loki then back up at me. “Facial expressions are important when you talk to a deaf person, you know.”

  I nod, trying again. She understands what I’m saying and smiles. Her eyes drop to the slowly disappearing candle and she blows out the flame. She doesn’t move for a few seconds, and I smile knowing that she’s making a wish.

  We grow up and lose parts of our lives that mattered so much when we were younger but there’s always a small part of us that stays. Blowing out a candle and making a wish is one of them. And seeing a shooting star. Which isn’t really a shooting star. It’s a piece of rock or dust, which we all know is a meteor, hitting Earth’s atmosphere and burning up. Girls I’ve dated always hated when I corrected them on that.

  When Luna’s eyes open, I raise my hands and ask her the same question I do before we go out onto the roof. “Do you want to see the stars?”

  Her smile is all I need for an answer. “I need to walk Loki first.”

  Hearing the words walk and Loki make him perk up.

  “Want company?”

  Luna stares at my mouth, my eyes, and my chest then they move over to her bed. “Can you…um…” Luna clears her throat. “Can you be my ears? I want to go out like this.”

  I honestly feel honored. Seeing the shift in her from earlier today t
o now makes me feel better. I didn’t screw us up. Whatever we have going on isn’t ruined. “I’d love to.”

  Luna searches for her shoes and a light sweater then we head downstairs and get Loki on his leash. Our walk is quiet and short. Loki pees on everything then turns us around when he spots a big dog down the block.

  Luna gets food out for him when we enter the house and then we head up to my room to see the stars. Looking over at Luna as she watches the stars does something to me. Something I can’t explain. I just want to know more about her, I need to know more, it’s alarming. We’ve known each other for a short amount of time but it feels like it has been months, years even that we’ve shared. And I kind of want to slow down time so we can have even longer.

  She has her own peaceful moments, no distractions of any sort. She can’t hear what I hear; Loki barking from my bedroom window, the neighbors in the house beside ours laughing loudly like they do every night, or the police sirens fading as they speed down the streets. Most people would kill for that. And all her life she was judged and ridiculed because of it. It isn’t fair. She didn’t choose to be deaf. It happened.

  “I was kicked out of college because I attacked my roommate’s boyfriend.”

  Luna doesn’t look at me as the words leave her mouth, but I know she’s telling me. Her friend. Her connection to the stars. I told her I tell the stars my secrets and that if she wanted to do the same, she could. But if she wanted someone to hear them, I’d be that person. Everyone needs more than one person to talk to. MacKay is hers. I want to be another.

  “I fell asleep while studying so I could still hear. They were having sex, but that time they were way too close to my bed. Our room was small and we had a system for whenever Candice wanted her boyfriend over. That night…” Luna looks down and wraps her arms around her knees, “they were practically breathing down my neck. Next thing I know, Candice is blowing him right by my head. I could literally see his dick disappear in her mouth.” Her head turns to me, eyes wet. “I must have scared them by waking up because Candice jerked back, screaming like I was going to kill her, causing her boyfriend to turn towards me, freaked out but about to come.”

  “Fuck.” My eyes beg her to tell me something else happened, not what I think is about to. Please tell me he didn’t–

  “He fucking came on me. He stared at me in shock like he couldn’t believe it either then he turned away and grabbed something to cover him up. I ran to our bathroom and took a shower because that was fucking disgusting. I have never had some stranger who I didn’t fuck come on me. And as soon as I walked out into our room, they were sitting on the bed, laughing. When I asked them what the fuck they were thinking, her boyfriend had a smug look on his stupid face and said, ‘Man, I thought she’d sound like a seal because you know, she’s deaf’ and I snapped.”

  I want to vomit. I want to hit something, murder someone. I want to hold Luna and never let go in this moment because if someone treated my sisters like that, they would be a dead man.

  “I broke his nose, one front tooth, cracked two of his ribs, and almost broke his penis. I kicked him really hard. Repeatedly.” She says it like she’s reading a grocery list, but I see the torment in her eyes. It’s quite painful witnessing it. “He didn’t press charges because he didn’t want anyone to know a deaf chick beat his ass.”

  “Jesus.” Not because of what she did to him but because of what he did to her. A fucking stranger came on her. And she didn’t even screw him. Who even does that? And what the fuck kind of roommate has sex that close to her roommate’s bed? It’s called respect. Either you fuck on your bed or you go somewhere else.

  Luna wipes her face and throws her head back to look at the night sky.

  I reach out and touch the side of her leg so she can look at me. I want to ask so many questions. I want to do so many things. I have no idea where to start. I’m stuck somewhere between getting into my car and hunting down this prick or looking for MacKay and beating the shit out of him for not telling me about this, and then both of us go kill that motherfucker.

  Light brown eyes attach themselves on my lips. “This is the most I’ve spoken in silence. I–I’m not really comfortable when I can’t hear myself talk.” I don’t know why. She sounds the same, just a little softer. She must know I’m thinking that because she continues with, “I had a lisp when I was younger. As I was starting to get rid of it, I ended up becoming deaf. I was always self-conscious. I feel like my words won’t come out right. But they do, don’t they?”

  I nod. “Your voice comes out soft and breathy. It’s hot as fuck. You’re worrying over nothing.” I bite my lip to keep myself from smiling. “I think you’d sound cute with a lisp so if it does happen, know that I don’t mind.”

  Luna chuckles softly. “Thanks.” She looks up at the sky, getting lost in what’s out there. “I feel like this surgery was supposed to be a blessing…but most days it feels like a curse.”

  I softly tap her leg once more. “Look at me.”

  She does then darts her eyes back to my lips. I shake my head and tilt her chin up. I want to tell her that that douchebag deserves all the pain he had to suffer. I want to tell her how sorry I am that she had to live that and suffer the consequences. I want to hand this girl the moon, and the stars, and the goddamn universe to make up for all the shit she had to deal with.

  I want to give her something to look back on and smile about.

  I lean into her slowly, not entirely sure of what I’m doing.

  Part of me is still seeing red. The other part, the sensitive and caring side, wants to console her hurt. The desire to hug her until she’s embedded in my body, my heart beating for the both us, protecting her from assholes, is staggering.

  How the fuck does MacKay do this? A little help is needed right now.

  “What are you doing?” Luna whispers, and it’s so fucking sexy. I’ve been with a lot of girls who are loud and honestly annoying as fuck, but I’ve never been with a girl who prefers to be quiet and whisper all the damn time. It’s a fucking shame because it’s growing on me. I think I prefer whispers and eye rolls instead of yelling for attention and starting fights.

  I go with the truth and sign, I don’t know.

  I lean forward and Luna continues to stare, eyes dancing over my face. She licks her lips quickly, eyes lowering before she looks up again and then leans in a little closer.

  And I kiss her.

  It’s soft and nothing like we’ve done before.

  Kissing turns into sex for us. Ever since we agreed on the whole friends with benefits thing, we’re rough and demanding. But I don’t want rough right now. I just… I just want to kiss her and make her smile for a change.

  I want to show her that I care.

  I slide my hand up her neck, into her hair. She shifts towards me and I know that one movement will cause her to slide so I latch onto her leg with my other hand, and I use every ounce of strength I have to keep us from falling off the roof.

  Luna’s hand finds my thigh and crawls up until she palms me over my jeans. The hand I have in her hair falls and grabs her wrist, dragging her hand onto my stomach. I pull away and give her a look telling her not to do it again. I throw in a smirk when she shoots me a ‘what the fuck’ look.

  “Luna.” Her eyes are on my mouth again. “Shut up and go with it.”

  I get an eye roll before she gives in and brings her mouth back to mine.

  I look up at the sky for a split second before closing my eyes again. This is our secret, all right? Just because I want to kiss her, it doesn’t have to mean anything.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Luna

  The second I open my eyes, I see black-tipped floppy ears popping into the air before they’re gone and reappear. I sit up, confused. Loki jumps into the air, his mouth open, most likely barking. I can’t hear anything. I just see him trying to jump on the bed but he’s too small so he falls back onto his paws and tries again.

  I look around Phoenix’s room
, the door open and the bed empty. There’s no note on the pillow beside the one I’m using. There is a cup of hot coffee on the nightstand and there’s a purple post-it with the words, Drink me, I’m hot. And don’t come downstairs naked! beside it.

  Yeah, right. I’m totally going down there naked now.

  I smile shyly and reach for the coffee, taking a sip.

  Holy shit, that is disgusting.

  I spit the coffee back into the cup and reach down for Loki. He rubs against my bare chest then knocks his head into my swollen lips. After kissing Phoenix all night and stripping so he’d get the point and do things to my body but wouldn’t, I just gave up and rubbed my body against his while he worshiped my mouth.

  The other night, Mac came into my room and we had a long talk that I didn’t want to think about but ultimately did. He said I should let Phoenix in more, treat him like I treat Mac. The only way I could do that before doing anything else was by stepping out of my comfort zone and having a conversation without my ears on. And telling him about why I was kicked out of college. Those are two of the things I never do or talk about. Except with Mac.

  Doing that ended up with getting the shit kissed out of me, and the female version of blue balls. I can’t believe I didn’t even get some finger action.

  I stand from the bed with Loki stuffed into the crook of my arm, and I pull on my discarded underwear. I grab the rest of my clothes sitting in a pile on the floor by the foot of the bed, and throw them into the bathroom hamper when I walk by.

  I head downstairs, set Loki free, and make my way into the kitchen wearing nothing but underwear. Phoenix is standing by the sink. I walk over to him hoping he’ll look at me and at least slap my ass and bend me over the kitchen counter. Because you can’t just kiss me and not get me off. It’s rude.