Take It SLOW

by AKM Miles

  Easy grabbed his arm and said, “Hold on, Nick,” he asked, turning to his friend. “Are you sure you don’t want to press charges? I don’t feel right just letting this bastard go after the way he’s treated Daniel.”

  Nick took a card from his pocket and handed it to Easy.

  “Get his information— name, phone, address, even his social security number. I want to be able to find him if I get a different story from Daniel. It will be up to him whether this man goes to jail or not. I just want to see Daniel.”

  Easy pushed Jack back onto the booth bench and said, “Write it all down, and don’t you lie. I know how to find you.”

  While Jack took the pen Nick handed him, Easy looked around. He saw Diana at the bathroom door and she smiled at him, uneasily. He took the rest of the room in at a glance and realized everyone was watching them, but no one interfered. Some looked on with approval, others with mere curiosity. No one came to Jack’s defense. Easy did notice the man who had been here before, the one who gave him the information on Jack last week, watching intently. He nodded at the man and got a nod in return.

  When Jack thrust the card back at him, he handed it over to Nick and stood back so Jack could get up. He followed him out to the front of the diner and watched as he stomped to his truck. He was surprised to find the other man had followed them out.

  “Give me your cell number. I will follow him and make sure he keeps going. If he stops or tries to turn back, I’ll call you. I’m glad you all came back for the boy.”

  “Thank you. If you ever need anything, contact us at Mama Sasy’s diner in Nashville, off exit eighty-nine.” Easy gave the man his number and watched him go to his rig and climb in. He took a moment to admire the shiny black Freightliner cab. The man had a clean rig. That said a lot for him, unlike Jack, whose truck was dirty and belching dirty diesel. He watched the truck jerk and heard the gears grinding as Jack pulled out of the parking lot, clearly furious. God help the people on the road.

  He headed back in, anxious to see the reunion. When he got back inside, there was quiet applause, and he nodded, heading for the restroom door. He stood by Diana as she knocked. Nick was still standing by the booth, looking nervous and a little sick.

  § § § §

  Daniel felt like throwing up again but knew there was nothing left in there, except maybe more blood. He was nearly more scared of facing his father than he was of going back with Jack. He knew his father wasn’t going to hit him, but he was filled with confusion and indecision. How was he supposed to act? His father had said he was no son of his. He couldn’t have a faggot for a son. How was he supposed to forget the last two years of fear, pain and loneliness?

  “It’s okay,” Mano whispered from beside him. “You want me to go first? Or do you want to meet him in here without everyone out there watching?”

  Daniel’s eyes got huge, and he shook his head. He didn’t want to be alone with his dad, not yet. He didn’t know what he was afraid of, but he knew he couldn’t face him without breaking apart totally.

  “Okay, here, take my hand, and we’ll walk out together. I’ll introduce you to my boyfriend, Easy. He’s the biggest, best-looking man you’ll ever meet. And Daniel, he’s the nicest person I’ve ever known, except maybe his mom. Wait till you meet her. Come on. It’s just friends out there now.”

  Mano put a little pressure on Daniel’s hand and tugged a little, pulling him out of the restroom. There was total silence. He wanted to run back in and hide in a corner, away from everyone who was looking at him expectantly.

  “Hey, Danny, I’ve got you some oatmeal and a pancake waiting. I even fixed you some warm milk. I know it sounds yucky, but I bet it will feel good going down. You’re safe now, honey. Come here.” Diana held her arms out, and Daniel walked into them. She had always been so nice to him, and she seemed like a safe haven right now.

  He was wrapped in her arms, and he smelled perfume, coffee, and hairspray. He pulled away and tried to smile for her. She was being so nice.

  He watched Mano go over to the big man and get his own hug. The man— Easy? —leaned down and kissed the top of Mano’s head. Daniel felt like he was in the twilight zone. Wait, where was his dad?

  Right then Mano and Easy stepped aside, and he saw his father standing by a booth in the back. Wow. He didn’t look the same. He looked tired and sad and older. There was gray in his hair now, Daniel could see it. He didn’t remember his dad being gray. Daniel stood looking at the man who had disowned him, who had called him faggot with such hatred in his voice. What was he supposed to do?

  As he just stood there, he saw tears running down his dad’s face, and he was stunned. His dad didn’t cry. His dad never cried. He looked so broken, standing there, head down now, tears dripping onto his shirt. Daniel took a step forward, then stopped. He wanted to, but how could he? He took another step and stopped again.

  Mano stepped up to him and whispered, “Go with your heart, Daniel. He loves you. He’s sorry. Go to him. You don’t have to go live with him right now, or forgive him right away, but I think you both need—” Mano got no further.

  “Dad?” It wasn’t very loud, but in the silence of the diner, Nick heard it. His head raised, eyes seeking Daniel.

  Daniel walked to him and into the arms that opened for him. There was a collective sigh throughout the diner filled with truckers and travelers who’d watched the whole scene unfold. There were many wet eyes in the place, many people reaching for napkins as Daniel was held tightly in his father’s arms at last.

  Daniel broke into sobs as he felt his father’s heart beating rapidly against his ear. He was nearly falling with exhaustion and relief and hunger. He’d never felt such a war of emotions in his life. He wanted to hit this man over and over, and he wanted to hold onto him and never let him go. The battle raging inside him nearly tore him apart. He tried to pull away. He wasn’t ready to—to—

  “Just a few seconds more, please, Daniel. I promise I’ll let you go, and I won’t ask anything of you yet. But, I don’t think I can stand up without you to hold onto.” Nick’s voice was ragged, and that was something else that was totally foreign to Daniel. He stood still now, letting his father hold him. His dad was shaking but held Daniel firmly. He was beginning to feel numb, unable to settle on what he really was feeling inside. Finally, his dad pulled back and, thankfully, Mano was there to hold onto him and ease him down into the booth. Nick didn’t sit down, and Daniel looked up at him.

  “Is it okay if I sit with you?” Nick asked, and Daniel was surprised at the hesitancy in his father’s voice.

  Daniel could only nod. Mano scooted in with him, and he watched as Easy took Nick’s arm and encouraged him to sit down and scoot over. Silence reigned at the table for a few moments.

  Mano finally spoke up, saying, “Daniel, I’m sorry, but I have to tell them about you being sick.” At the gasp from Nick, he continued, “When he came into the bathroom he threw up, mostly blood. He’s sick, Nick, and he needs a doctor.”

  Diana showed up then with a plate for Daniel and the coffeepot for the rest of them.

  “Try to eat a little of it, hon, until you can get some help for your stomach. I’m so happy for you, Danny.”

  “Daniel,” he said, “not Danny.”

  “Daniel it is,” she said, and he could see tears in her eyes as she turned to leave the table. He was sorry, but he did not ever want to be called Danny again.

  “Can you eat a little, or do you need us to take you to the hospital right away?” This came from Mano, who was sitting beside him.

  “I, uh, I don’t want to go to a hospital, but I’m not sure I can keep it down. What’s,” Daniel paused and looked around at all three, his eyes glancing quickly at his dad, then away, “what’s going to happen now?”

  Nick spoke up, quietly, as if not wanting to push Daniel too far.

  “The most important thing is your safety and your health. You’re safe now, Daniel. I swear you will not be hurt, and I’m not going to demand
anything from you. Let’s see if you can get something soft and warm down and keep it there. If so, we can wait until we get back to Nashville, but you’ll have to go in for care from a doctor. It looks like you might have a bleeding ulcer. What does it feel like?”

  “It hurts all the time, and when I eat I throw up a lot, lately. I thought that might be it, but we didn’t have anything to eat that didn’t hurt, so…” he trailed off, not wanting to talk about, even think about his time with Jack.

  “I don’t know, Daniel, I’m afraid something could go wrong if we wait to get you help. Are you sure you don’t want to see someone here? We can find a hospital and have you looked at.” His dad looked worried and it was clear he was trying not to push, but Daniel just wanted to go home. Well, no.

  “Where am I going to go? I don’t want to, I mean— I’m not sure I can go — there.” He couldn’t even say home. The word had just gone out of his vocabulary in the last two years and seemed like an impossibility, so he’d quit thinking about it as a place for him anymore.

  “Daniel, hey.” When Daniel looked up, the big guy continued, “I’m Easy. My mother runs a truck stop that also works as a safe haven for young gay men who need help. It’s how I met Mano. It’s called Mama Sasy’s, and there are lots of people who can tell you that she will be so happy to see you and welcome you. There’s a sort of dorm behind the diner where you can stay until you are well, and then we’ll work on your future. Nick comes and goes all the time, so you can see him a little and get used to being back home. No one expects this to be easy for you, but we all want to help you.”

  Despite the man’s big size, he seemed just as nice as Mano had said he was. He just didn’t get the whole plan.

  “Why?”

  “It’s a long story, and one we’ll tell you all about, but first try some of that oatmeal. Put a little sugar and milk in it, and see if you can handle it. If you can, go slowly now,” Easy said, as Daniel did as he asked and started to take little bites of the warm gooey cereal. “Now, about the trip home. I get that you’re not really comfortable riding back with Nick, and we planned for that. He’s in his car, and we’re in my pickup. There’s a back seat in my truck, and you can use it.”

  Nick broke in and said, “Son, I knew you might not be comfortable going back with me. I know it will take a lot to earn your trust again, but I promise you can trust these two men to take you to safety. You can trust Mama Sasy and everyone who works there. I have your things in my car. I’ll put them in Easy’s truck and you can ride back with them. When we get back, though, you will have to let me, or all of us, take you to the doctor for help. It’s going to take some time to get you healthy again, and I must insist that you agree to that. Will you do that?”

  Daniel had never seen or heard his dad sound so unsure of himself. He nodded. He really didn’t think he could handle riding in the car with his dad. He would break down for sure, and that would be awful. There was something about the other two men that made him feel comfortable, safe.

  “Okay.” He figured they were waiting for the word. He heard three quiet sighs and went back to taking small bites of the oatmeal.

  “Is there anything you need, or want?” Nick asked.

  “No, sir.” His answer was quick.

  “Easy, if you’ll come with me, I’ll get his things and you can put them in your truck. I’m going to go on, and I’ll meet you at Mama Sasy’s. I think he’ll be more comfortable with you all. I don’t want him any more stressed right now. Daniel, will you look at me?” Nick asked, after he’d stood up by Easy at the end of the booth. Daniel raised his eyes and saw tears in his dad’s eyes again. His own filled.

  “I love you, son. It will take time, but I will prove it to you. I’m going to go now. I’m so happy you’re safe now.” His voice broke on the last word, and he pushed against Easy to get the other man moving.

  Daniel dropped his spoon and just sat, staring at the oatmeal left in the bowl.

  “Wow. It’s okay to be freaked out, Daniel, really. Life sucks a lot of the time, but I think yours just turned around. It’s a lot to take in. You’ve got time. We’ll go back to Mama Sasy’s, and all you have to worry about is being swallowed up with love and good food. Your father is a good man. I know what he did and what he said to you. I know why you ran, but he has never stopped looking for you, Daniel. Give it some time. Come on, you look worn out.”

  Mano scooted out of the booth and helped Daniel out.

  Diana was right there with a small milkshake that she handed to Daniel.

  “Drink this slow now, and just a little at a time. I hope everything works out for you, Daniel.”

  “Thanks.”

  When they got outside, they met Easy on his way back in.

  “I’m going to pay and meet you back here. You get Daniel settled, and we’ll head home.” Easy put his hand on Daniel’s shoulder and squeezed just a little, and for some reason, Daniel took comfort from the gesture.

  Mano led him over to a big, blue Ford pickup and opened the back door. When he looked in he saw the pillow and comforter from his bed on the seat. His eyes filled as he recognized the brown and tan striped cover that had been on his bed when he’d left. He wanted to just wrap that cover around him and sleep forever. He climbed in and moved the cover, lying down across the seat. Mano took the shake from him and put it in the front. Daniel wrapped his arms around his stomach, realizing that it didn’t hurt quite as much as usual. It felt kind of queasy but not as painful. He felt Mano moving in and covering him with the comforter. Oh, his favorite pillow. He hid his face in it and wept. He couldn’t help it. He was embarrassed, but he just cried. Mano stroked his shoulder and said soft words to him.

  “It’s okay. Let it all go. You can sleep all the way home, and things will look a little different when you feel better. You’re safe now, Daniel. You’re safe. You can believe it.”

  Mano seemed to know that it was hard for him to take that in, to believe that the nightmare was indeed over. He never heard Easy get in or the truck start. He was asleep before he had another thought.

  Chapter Four

  Nick drove all the way to Nashville on autopilot. He couldn’t believe he’d found Daniel at last. The shape his son was in had Nick torn apart. It was the lights of Mama Sasy’s that brightened his visage as he pulled in. He walked in, torn between elation and despair.

  As if he were one of her boys, she opened her arms to him and he walked into them and accepted the comfort he needed so much.

  “Easy called me. They’re about half an hour behind you. Come on, hon, and tell me all about it. He’s sick, huh?”

  Nick spilled it all to her, everything about how it went in the diner, and how bad Daniel looked, and how scared he was for his son.

  “You let me take care of him when he gets here. You make arrangements for taking him in, and I suggest letting Mano stay with him. Easy says they have a sort of bond between them, and Daniel will need that comfort as he goes through the tests that he’s facing. Your turn will come. You’re going to provide everything he needs, health-wise, and soon you’ll be able to get that bond back. He’ll come around.”

  “I don’t know, Sally Ann. He’s been through so much, and it’s my fault. All the hell he’s endured is on me. I think he has a bleeding ulcer. What must he have gone through to have that at nineteen?” Tears filled his eyes again as he thought about Daniel.

  “He let you hug him, though, didn’t he?” she asked, easing him down into the booth in the back and motioning for Boddy to bring him something.

  “Yeah, he did. I didn’t want to let go. I can’t even tell you what it felt like to hold him even for a few minutes. He wouldn’t ride back with me.” Nick sounded despondent.

  “You expected that, Nick, so don’t get all bent out of shape. You know you will need to earn his respect again. His love will come sooner. Now, here comes Boddy with some food, and you need to get busy making some calls. When he gets here he’s going to need to settle in for a little.�
�� She stopped and put her hand up to stop the words she knew he was about to say. “I know, he needs a doctor, but I think he needs a shower first. Being warm and clean will make him feel safe again. Make appointments with your doctor, and he’ll be ready later this afternoon. He needs food, some of Mama’s love, and a good long shower. Easy says he’s slept the whole way.”

  Nick wanted to just drown in guilt and remorse, but Sally Ann was right. He thanked Boddy for the plate of food, including the chocolate pie, and started making calls. He heard Sally Ann talking to Boddy about getting a spot ready for Daniel in the dorm. Right then, Benny was the only one staying with them and he thought that was probably a good thing for Daniel. He wouldn’t be bombarded with a lot of boys, but he would see, with Benny there, just what this place did. He wouldn’t feel like he was alone in needing help. Nick knew it would be a while before his son would be ready or willing to come home with him, but he prayed it would happen.

  In the next few minutes, he had called the doctor that Daniel had seen since he’d reached his teens and was able to arrange an appointment for that afternoon. He was also told that there would probably be some testing needed at the hospital and since Centennial was closest to the doctor’s office that’s probably where they’d end up going. He knew Daniel would hate going through all that right now, but his boy’s health was the most important thing. They’d know more about his state of mind soon.

  His knee was bouncing in nervous anticipation as he waited for the three to get to the diner. Finally, he saw Easy coming in the door. Mama headed for them, and Nick could not stay back. He walked quickly to the group at the door. He got there just in time to hear Sally Ann say, “Come here, Daniel. You’re safe now. Mama Sasy’s got you.” She opened her arms, and like a robot, without question, Daniel was engulfed. She held him and rubbed his back, reaching up a little, as Daniel was taller than she was. She muttered some things into his ear, and he nodded his head. Nick looked at Easy and Mano, who looked back, shrugging as if to say they had no idea what she was saying to Daniel.