Dawn’s New Day

by TJ Thomas

  She thought about the last few months. From the instant attraction she and Cam had for each other to the first tentative steps Cam took toward something more, to her surrender at Dawn’s resistance, and her insistence that being friends was all she wanted. Cam had loved and lost in a devastating way, yet she was willing to put herself back out there, open to the possibility of finding love again. Cam never hid how she felt about Dawn, but she’d backed off and allowed Dawn the safety and comfort of friendship without the pressure of something more.

  Dawn knew she had changed. She had started to open up and even believe something more might be possible for her one day. The big question was…did she have the courage to be honest with Cam and see where the truth would lead them.

  Dawn’s heart raced. Perhaps she was too late, but she had to try. She stared into Cam’s questioning eyes and gave her the only thing she could, the truth. “I missed you.”

  Cam exhaled as she sank into the cushions. She laid her head on the back and closed her eyes like she was either in pain or savoring something, and Dawn was worried because she couldn’t tell which. This time when Dawn moved to Cam, she didn’t stop until she was settled beside her on the couch. She sat as close as she could without touching her. “Cam?”

  “Did you get what you needed out of the trip?”

  “I’m still worried about what Lori might do. But I did have the time I needed to think…about you, about us.”

  “And?”

  “And I realized I want you in my life as more than a friend, even more than a friend with benefits. Cam, I’d like…I’d like to see you. For us to really see if what I’m feeling is real and sustainable.”

  Cam let out a long, slow breath.

  Dawn wasn’t aware that she’d reached out and put her hand on Cam’s leg until she felt Cam stiffen. She moved to pull away, but Cam caught her hand and kept it on her leg with her own hand firmly covering it. The connection felt good. It felt right. She wished she could read Cam’s expression.

  They sat in silence for a few minutes. Dawn was a little worried that Cam hadn’t said anything, but she was willing to give her time. She finally said, “Did you finish the project?”

  Cam absently swept her thumb over Dawn’s hand. “Yeah, about three this morning.”

  “Then you worked all day?”

  Cam nodded. “I had to get caught up on everything that had been pushed aside while the project was the priority.”

  “You must be exhausted.”

  “Exhausted doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Cam shook her head slightly, but she never took her eyes off Dawn.

  “I should let you get some sleep.”

  “You don’t need to leave.”

  Dawn turned her hand which rested under Cam’s, and their fingers intertwined automatically. “I do. I need to be up early for the hearing about the permanent restraining order.”

  “Oh, is that tomorrow? Would you like me to go with you?”

  “It’s sweet of you to ask, but I feel like this is something I need to do on my own.”

  “I guess I can understand that.”

  “If you don’t have plans Friday night, why don’t I see if Kate and June are free and we can go out to dinner?”

  Cam’s smile finally reached her tired eyes. “That would be great.”

  “Good. Now get some sleep.” Dawn kissed Cam lightly on the mouth and then stood. “Sweet dreams, Cam.”

  *****

  Dawn couldn’t sleep. She wandered aimlessly around her studio looking at different pieces she had painted, old and new. A number of her paintings had sold at the show, quite a few. The ones she’d painted recently were around the studio waiting for her to decide what to do with them. She was struck by how much more color there was in her recent works; they were brighter.

  She wondered for a moment what had changed. A picture of Cam formed in her mind. Dawn admitted to herself she was in love with Cam, and no matter what happened between them that would be true until the day she died. She owed it to Cam to tell her the truth. She owed it to both of them. But she didn’t want to tell her until there was nothing standing between them.

  Cam had reawakened parts of her that she thought were gone. Pieces she thought she had buried years before. Cam resuscitated feelings Dawn wasn’t so sure she had wanted brought out into the open again. But she couldn’t deny the evidence in front of her. Cam inspired her to find the light in herself. Dawn placed a blank canvas on her main easel, mixed her paints, and let the inspiration flow until the sun crept low on the horizon.

  *****

  Dawn did not relish going to court for the hearing to make the restraining order permanent, but it needed to be done. She spent extra time on her makeup and dressed in one of her best suits leftover from her banking days as though arming herself for battle. According to the advocate she’d spoken with when she filed the TRO, Lori had a right to be there so she braced herself for that possibility.

  Dawn expected old feelings to overwhelm her when she saw Lori. When they didn’t, she let out a long, silent sigh. “Hi, Lori,” she said. She studied Lori. Objectively, she could see Lori was still physically attractive, but Dawn felt no connection to her anymore.

  “Come on, baby, it’s time to call this off so we can get back together. Surely you’re not still mad at me for what happened years ago.”

  It shouldn’t have surprised her at all that Lori viewed what happened between them as something Dawn would simply get over. She shook her head, not because she was sad about what she planned to say to Lori but because of how much time she let what happened with Lori affect her life. “No, Lori. It’s over and has been for a long time. I have no desire to get back together with you. No matter how many times you show up where I am that isn’t going to change. I don’t care what you do or say any more. I don’t care why you did what you did and I don’t want to hear your excuses. I came here to make sure you stay away from me.”

  Dawn could tell Lori didn’t believe her. “Dawn, I will always be your first. You will never forget me. Even if you’re sleeping with someone else, like your bitch neighbor, I will always be in your head. You will eventually come back to me because I love you more than anyone else ever will.”

  Dawn realized how pathetic it all was and felt just a little sorry for Lori. “No, Lori, you don’t. What you call love was control and you no longer have any control over me. You will always be my first female lover. There is nothing I can do to change that. But you will never be my last or my best lover. There is only one thing I will think about you, if I think about you at all, and that is you opened my eyes to a whole new world. I will always be grateful for that. But I no longer care about anything else that happened between us, and it’s sad to me that after two years you haven’t moved on.”

  Lori crossed her arms defensively. “I’ve moved on.”

  “You haven’t or you wouldn’t have showed up at my opening, come to my house, or tried to come between me and Cam. You wouldn’t have threatened her. Now I’m going to talk to the judge so you can’t ever be close to us again. If you ever come near either one of us, ever, we’ll have you arrested. Now move on for real and leave us alone.”

  Dawn walked away and didn’t look back. As she spoke to the judge, she was aware that Lori fumed a few rows back. Once the judge granted the permanent restraining order, Dawn left the courtroom. She did not even glance in Lori’s direction. Free at last.

  *****

  Dawn had just finished changing out of her suit when the doorbell rang. Slightly worried that it would be Lori, she made sure to check the peephole. Cam. She pulled the door open. “Come in. Not working today?”

  “Working from home, but I saw you pull in. I wanted to see how the hearing went.”

  “Pretty much as expected, the judge issued a permanent restraining order.”

  “Oh good.”

  “Lori was there.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, she approached me before the hearing and tried to convince
me to call it all off and to get back together with her.”

  “How was that for you?”

  “It was much easier than I thought it would be. I think a part of me used to be scared that she would be able to convince me to go back to her if I ever spoke to her. But I wasn’t afraid of that anymore. I am grateful I had some of those experiences. Obviously not the abuse, although it did make me realized how strong I am. But the relationship, in general, helped me figure out who I was and who I am. Once I said what I needed to say to her, I walked away. When I left the courthouse, it felt exactly like the closure I was looking for.”

  “Why weren’t you afraid you would give in to her anymore?”

  “I went there this morning knowing she no longer has any power over me.” Dawn finally moved to Cam. “I knew it because I’m in love with someone else.”

  Cam opened her mouth and then shut it without saying anything.

  Dawn took Cam’s hand in hers and gazed into her eyes. “Cam, I’ve known for a while that I’m in love with you. But I owed it to you and to myself to be absolutely sure before I said anything. One of the things I figured out while I was out of town is I had to face the fact that no matter where I went, no matter how far away I tried to get, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I couldn’t hide forever. I needed to come home, back to my life, back to my work, and most importantly, back to you. Seeing Lori confirmed what I already knew. I never loved her the way I love you. My feelings for her were like a schoolgirl crush compared to the way I feel about you. It felt like more at the time because it was so new and foreign. Lori hurt me badly, but now I realize I can’t let that stop me from living my life. I deserve to live a life full of love and laughter. I forgot that for a long time.

  “But with you, I couldn’t stop it, you know I tried. I didn’t want anything to happen between us because I was scared I would be hurt again. I didn’t want to feel anything for you. I knew from the day I met you that you had the power to hurt me if I let you. But you were so patient and you became my friend and you just let me get to know you and showed me time and again that you would never hurt me intentionally. Now I love everything about you. I only hope I didn’t wait too long to figure it out.”

  “How long?” She cleared her throat and tried again. “How long have you known?”

  “Since the day I told you about Lori.”

  Cam’s face betrayed her surprise. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I wanted to, more than you can imagine. After the way I acted for so long, stubbornly refusing to even entertain the idea of a relationship or even agree to a date, I didn’t think there was any way you would believe me. I had to earn your trust just like you earned mine. So I offered you what I could that day. I gave you my story. Then as you know, one thing led to another. Having mind-blowing sex with you, and then Lori showing up threatening to hurt you…it was a lot to process. I hadn’t even figured out where I wanted to go with you, other than probably have more sex, because again, wow. I needed time.”

  “And now, what are you offering me now?”

  Dawn closed the remaining distance between them, not scared anymore of jumping off the ledge. “My heart, my body, everything I am. My heart belongs to you. Please tell me it’s not too late.”

  She lowered her head to Dawn’s. “Oh, Dawn, it’s definitely not too late.” She pulled Dawn into her arms and crushed her mouth to Dawn’s.

  Dawn returned fire with fire. She could not wait to get Cam’s hands on her again.

  Cam ended the kiss and lifted her head. “In case you haven’t figured it out already, I’m in love with you too. I have been for a long time.”

  “I hoped.”

  “I have a question for you.”

  “You can ask me anything.”

  “Will you please let me cook dinner for you now?”

  Dawn laughed out loud. Of all the things Cam might have asked, she hadn’t expected that. “That sounds like a date.”

  “It was meant to.”

  “In that case, I would like that very much.”

  “Great. I have a few things I need to finish first, so how about you come over around seven?” Cam said.

  “Wonderful. I’ll see you then.”

  “Just one thing before I go.” Cam’s lips were gentler this time, savoring. The heat was no less intense. “That might hold me. See you at seven.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  By the time Dawn rang the doorbell at seven sharp, dinner preparation was well under way. Cam opened the door and pulled Dawn inside.

  “I missed you,” Cam said.

  “Me too. Will you kiss me now?”

  Cam did, leaving them both breathless, chests heaving. Then she stepped back and linked her fingers with Dawn’s to walk with her back to the kitchen. “How was your afternoon?”

  “Wonderful. I started a new painting. How about yours?”

  “Productive. Are you hungry?”

  “Yes. It smells great.”

  “It’s almost ready. I just need to boil the pasta for a couple of minutes. Wine?”

  “Yes, please.”

  Cam handed Dawn a glass of chilled white wine.

  “Thank you. Did you say anything to June or Kate about us?”

  “Not yet. I pretty much focused on work the rest of the day, when I could keep my mind off you, that is.”

  Dawn sipped her wine. Cam continued to make her feel special. “You think it will surprise them?”

  “I don’t think so. I imagine there’s a bet going on about when it would happen.”

  “You’re kidding, right? Am I that obvious?”

  “I think June and Kate could both see it headed in this direction.”

  “I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

  “No need to apologize. You needed to get here in your own time.”

  Dawn stepped to Cam and wrapped her arms around her waist and laid her head on Cam’s shoulder. “Thank you. I’m curious, how long would you have waited?”

  “As long as it took. I’m not going to pretend it was easy. There were certainly times I wondered if you’d ever give me a chance. There were days I wasn’t sure I could stand the waiting. But I didn’t ever get to the point where I thought about looking for someone else, because every time I doubted anything would ever happen, I kept remembering you were worth the wait.”

  “I love you, Cam.”

  “I love you, too.”

  The shrimp scampi Cam prepared was delicious. Once Dawn had food in her and started a second glass of wine, she stifled a yawn, her sleepless night finally catching up with her.

  “Tired?”

  “Hmm, a little. Actually more than that. It’s been a pretty eventful day and I didn’t sleep much last night.”

  Cam stood and held out her hand. “Let me take you home. I’d ask you to stay, just to sleep, but we probably both need some time to process all that’s happened today.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have taken a nap.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

  “I hoped the night would last longer.”

  Cam understood what she didn’t say. As she walked Dawn across the yards Cam said, “There’s no rush. We’ll get back there eventually.” Before Dawn could respond, Cam leaned down and kissed her, lingering over it. “Sweet dreams, my love.”

  Dawn smiled at the endearment. “Good night, Cam.”

  When Cam got back to her place, she pondered the last thirty-six hours. A lot had changed. Everything had changed. She was glad the evening had ended when it did. She needed time to adjust. Even though Dawn said she’d known for a while how she felt about Cam, she’d only let Cam in on it today. What if Dawn changed her mind again? It wasn’t a possibility Cam wanted to think too hard about but she had to. She was certain her feelings for Dawn wouldn’t change. She was less certain of Dawn’s feelings for her. The best thing to do was take things slow and do what felt right.

  *****

  Cam stood on Dawn’s porch a
nd took a deep breath. They were about to go out on their first official date—granted it was a double date, but it was a beginning and she was nervous. She rang the bell.

  Dawn answered the door in a pale green summer dress that left much of her pale skin exposed and complemented her eyes. “Hi.”

  Cam’s mouth went dry. She cleared her throat. “Hi, you look beautiful.”

  “Thank you. Are those for me?”

  Cam offered the gardening gloves in her hand. “It seems silly now, but I couldn’t find any flowers to compare to yours and I thought you might find these useful.”

  “They’re perfect.” Dawn leaned over and kissed Cam lightly on the lips.

  Cam relaxed into the soft kiss. She didn’t need to be nervous with Dawn. As they broke apart, Cam said, “Your chariot awaits.”

  “Lead the way.”

  Cam held out her hand, Dawn clasped it, and they walked next door together.

  Dawn slid into the truck next to Cam. “I’m glad we’re doing this.”

  “Me too. Kate and June are meeting us at the restaurant?”

  “Yes.”

  Cam took Dawn’s hand and placed it on her thigh. “Did you tell them anything about what we discussed last night?”

  “No, I thought maybe that was something you’d want to do together.”

  “Okay.”

  Once they were seated and had ordered drinks, they exchanged small talk for a few minutes. After their drinks arrived, Dawn cleared her throat. She reached for Cam’s hand under the table. “So, Cam and I want you to know we’re dating.”

  After a couple of seconds, Kate and June both started talking at once.

  “About time. Congratulations.”

  “Finally.”

  “Tell us how you really feel,” Dawn said.

  “We’re very happy for you,” Kate said.

  *****

  When dinner was over, they walked out onto the sidewalk. The air had just begun to cool on the beautiful summer evening. Cam wasn’t ready for the evening to end. “How about we leave the cars parked and walk down to Hillcrest Brewing Company?”