Darker the Release

by Claire Kent

  She gazed at his face—the strong, well-chiseled features, the powerful jaw, the deep eyes. Before she knew what she was doing, she put one hand on his chest, stroking it down over his gray T-shirt.

  She stared at her hand as it caressed lower down his body and she saw that he was looking at her hand too.

  Soon it was at his belly. Then at the top button of his jeans.

  She paused there intentionally, giving him a chance to stop her if he didn’t want to do this too.

  He didn’t stop her.

  So she lowered her hand even more and cupped his groin.

  He was partly erect already, and it must have happened suddenly, since she knew very well he hadn’t been aroused earlier, when she’d been a broken mess. Her head had been in his lap. She would have known.

  His response now must have happened quickly. As quickly as her desire to show him how she felt.

  Her pussy clenched as she palmed him, a deep intensity of feeling building up inside her.

  When she glanced up again, she saw his gaze was devouring her with an aching intensity that was somehow different from what she was used to seeing from him.

  She squeezed his erection gently and saw when he sucked in a quick breath.

  “Kel—” He broke off when she squeezed him again, his expression twisting in pained pleasure. Then he continued, “Are you sure? After what just happened, you want to…”

  “Yes. I’m sure. Let me show you.”

  “Kelly,” he repeated on a taken breath, his eyes falling closed as she massaged him. “Show me.”

  “I will.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and then kissed her, hard and fast and hungrily.

  It felt like they were alone in the world, here by a stream in the middle of nowhere, all of the twisted brokenness that had made them who they were and brought them together lost in the blurred edges of the woods—woods that were too far away to matter anymore.

  It was just them. Kelly and Caleb. Clinging to each other, finding a bond, a security that had never existed before they’d come together.

  Caleb leaned back against the rock, letting her push him into a stabler position as they kissed deeply, urgently. She straddled him, never breaking their embrace. She rubbed her arousal against the hardness of him—the denim between them another layer of sensation.

  Their kiss grew more passionate, and then both of them were fumbling at their jeans, taking hers off completely and unfastening his so they could free his erection.

  Still in her panties, Kelly straddled his lap again. She let Caleb pull her up enough so he could kiss a wet trail down her neck to her right breast, taking her nipple in his mouth through her shirt. She moaned and let her head fall back as she felt tugs of sensation tighten between her legs from his suckling.

  “Show me,” he murmured against her skin. His hands were stroking down the long line of her back, the tight curve of her bottom, and the muscles of her thighs. “Show me how much you love me.”

  She gazed at him, living a lie and the absolute truth at the same time. Then she leaned down into another kiss, surrendering to it completely. To him. Completely.

  “Oh, God,” she breathed, pulling back from his mouth just an inch. “I want you to make love to me, Caleb.”

  With a guttural sound, Caleb readjusted, flipping them over so quickly she lost her breath. She was abruptly on her back with Caleb poised on top of her, supporting himself on one arm.

  “You really want me to?” he rasped.

  “Want you to what?” She was breathless and so aroused she felt almost dizzy.

  “Make love to you.”

  “Yes. I do. Please.” She gasped as he gave a little thrust against her center. “Yes. Please.”

  He pulled aside her panties, and she felt his hand nudge between her legs, parting the folds of her flesh and stroking a line along the hot skin.

  She gasped. Then gasped again when he sank two fingers into her pussy.

  “You’re so wet,” he murmured, raising his head up so he could watch her face. He pumped his fingers. “You really do want me. Even now.”

  She felt tight around his fingers, and she rolled her hips against the penetration. “Of course I want you. I’ve never not wanted you. Please, Caleb. Let me show you how much.”

  He lowered his face to the crook of her neck, fluttering his tongue against her throbbing pulse. Then he suddenly gave her a hard nip, and the sudden pain caused a jolt of intense pleasure that made her clench around his fingers inside her.

  He lowered his mouth to her right breast again, flicking her nipple with his tongue and then sucking on it hard. She writhed beneath him, torn between the sensations from her breast and the sensations from his fingers inside her. Then his mouth moved slightly and he bit down again—this time on the flesh of her breast, just to the side of her nipple.

  She cried out again and bucked against his hand, her pussy clamping down in instinctive pleasure around his fingers once more. “Caleb, please.”

  His mouth trailed down over her belly and lingered on the curve of her hip. After readjusting his weight so he could use both hands, he spread her thighs apart even farther.

  Using his free hand to hold her open, he pumped his fingers a few times, curling them up to push against her G-spot.

  Kelly reached out and grasped at the grass. Her mouth fell open in silent cries of pleasure as he worked her over with instinctive skill. She could feel the heat of the sun on her skin and hear the sounds of birds and the moving water of the stream.

  When he parted her folds and blew on her clit, she choked out a few sobs, her body starting to shake and shudder.

  Then he bit down again, this time on the tender flesh just beside her pussy.

  She came, the spasms overtaking her before she knew to expect them. She hadn’t believed it was possible to come without stimulation to her clit. But he hadn’t even touched her there.

  And she was coming. Hard.

  Before she’d ridden out the waves of pleasure, he pressed his face into her pussy and sucked on her clit. The new stimulation sustained and extended her contractions, causing her pleasure to surge forward anew. She jerked clumsily, spasming around his fingers and against his face. She let out a long, anguished moan.

  “Fuck,” he rasped, raising his head. His mouth was wet with the moisture from her climax. “Fuck, Kelly, keep showing me.”

  She wanted to show him. And the need caused her to find the energy to flip them over so that Caleb was on his back and she was straddling him again.

  His cock was hard and already pulled out of his jeans and underwear. She rose up with her thighs and poised herself over him, holding it in position so she could align herself appropriately.

  Then she lowered her body over his, sheathing his erection.

  They both hissed in pleasure as he penetrated her. He felt incredibly full and tight inside her. So perfect.

  She leaned forward, bracing herself with her hands on the ground near his shoulders. So she started to ride him with short, jerky pumps of her hips, angling her pelvis to get as much stimulation on her clit as she could.

  Caleb’s eyes were open and staring at her hungrily. His pelvis rocked in time with her rhythm, but he let her have control.

  She huffed as she rode him, her face flushing with heat and little whimpers of pleasure and effort escaping her lips.

  “Yes,” Caleb hissed, his fingers startlingly strong on the flesh of her hips. “Yes. Show me. Show me.”

  She was showing him as much as she could—how much she wanted, needed him. She rode him eagerly. Caleb’s hands moved as her pelvis jerked above him. He hooked his hands around the backs of her thighs and spread them farther apart. In this position his knuckles were at her pussy, almost brushing against his cock as it pumped in and out of her.

  Kelly whimpered again, feeling exposed and splayed by his hands.

  “Fuck,” he muttered, his fingers digging harder into her flesh. “Fuck, Kelly. Show me. Show me as y
ou let go completely.”

  “Yeah,” she huffed, her rhythm accelerating as she bounced over him as frantically as she could. “Let me show you.”

  Then she did, crying out in pleasure and relief as the tightening pressure at her center released itself again. She froze, her spine arching dramatically and her head falling back as she groaned out the duration of her climax.

  She heard herself crying out his name and “love you” and then muttering them over and over again as she slumped forward.

  By this time, Caleb had fallen out of rhythm. His pelvis was pushing up against her and his grunts had become rough and animalistic.

  Then Caleb was coming too, roaring out a cry of dominance and desperation both. His features were washed momentarily with a flood of helpless pleasure, and she felt the pulsing of his cock as he came in short spurts inside her.

  The fresh air and sunshine surrounded her as she collapsed onto him afterward. His body felt hot and limp and relaxed, just like hers was, and she sighed in pleasure when he wrapped his arms around her.

  After a minute, something started feeling a little strange or tense. She lifted her head to look at his face.

  His expression was unreadable, although he gave her a little smile.

  “What are you thinking?” she asked, wishing the last of the secrets, the barriers, could be destroyed between them, so there really would be nothing but the two of them.

  He cleared his throat. “That was really good.”

  It wasn’t what he’d been thinking. She could tell. “I know. But is something wrong? You look…I don’t know…”

  “Nothing is wrong. Are you okay? After before, I mean.”

  “Yeah.” She relaxed again and rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was racing in his chest, just like hers was. “It was…hard. But it means so much that you…you want me to get better.” She pressed a kiss against his shirt. “Thank you.”

  She felt his body tense up briefly, but all he said was “You’re welcome.”

  Chapter 8

  The following day Kelly was still waiting to hear back from Jack. The file she’d given him was big, and it might take a while for them to get through it and then figure out what they had and what it all meant.

  The silence didn’t mean there was nothing in it to be found. She had to keep reminding herself of this.

  But her time was running out. Any day now, his suspicions might lead Wes to pry into her business and discover something about her real identity. Any day now, her mother might die and it would be too late to give her justice.

  Any day now¸ Kelly might finally give in completely to her feelings and spill everything to Caleb.

  She was out of sorts all day, though, and she was uncomfortable with how vulnerable she had made herself the day before. She’d never get through this if she didn’t stay a little stronger.

  No matter what she felt for Caleb, she wasn’t totally spineless. She was going to see this through to the end—even if it ripped her heart out in the process.

  She was in such a tangle now, there wasn’t any way to unravel herself. She was as trapped as a person could be in this—like Hamlet in the endless downward spiral—so all she could do was hold out until the end, when the events set in motion would finally come to fruition.

  Because she was worried about a repeat of the day before, she told Caleb she was seeing a client who could only meet in the evening and so she wouldn’t have time to make it out to the house after work.

  He told her he was going to stay at his apartment in the city that night, so she should just come over for an hour or two before she went to meet her client.

  She hadn’t been expecting the offer, so she ended up agreeing to it.

  She’d never been to his apartment downtown before. Security was tighter at his house, so they’d made a habit of always spending time there. She wasn’t quite sure why he’d never invited her over to his apartment, but she’d assumed maybe he thought about it as some kind of bachelor pad. He’d probably had all kinds of one-night stands there, and his relationship with Kelly was different, so he’d kept the spaces separate.

  She followed the directions he gave her, and she showed up at his door a little after six. He must have just gotten there after work, since he was still dressed in a suit and hadn’t even loosened his tie when he opened the door.

  “Hey,” she said with a smile, hiding the jump in her heart at the sight of him.

  It was so completely wrong—to be so thrilled just to see him like this.

  He smiled at her, but he looked tired, and he just stepped aside to let her in.

  She didn’t like the apartment as much as she liked the house. It was sleek and modern and kind of cold—without the warmth and history of the house. It felt like the man Caleb had been before he’d started to soften with her.

  “I don’t have very much time,” she said, remembering her vow not to melt into spinelessness again today.

  “I know. I’ve got work to do this evening anyway.”

  She looked around, noting the minimalistic furniture and blacks and grays of the apartment. “I was just wondering why I’ve never been over here before.”

  Caleb glanced around a little distractedly. “I’ve barely been here myself for the last couple of months. It feels…”

  “What?”

  He gave a half-shrug. “It feels foreign. Like I don’t belong here anymore.”

  Yes. That fit with her own thoughts from before—that the place represented a person that wasn’t really him now.

  “Do you want something to eat?” he asked.

  “I’m not really very hungry.”

  “Something to drink? I just opened a bottle of wine.”

  “Sure. Sounds good.”

  He walked to the kitchen, taking off his suit jacket as he did and slinging it on a chair.

  She stared at the jacket for a minute, feeling a weird heaviness in her gut. She didn’t know why. It was just a piece of clothing. He wore suits most of the time, and his taking off the jacket wasn’t unusual. She didn’t know why it felt so personal, intimate, domestic at the moment.

  She didn’t like this apartment. She felt like a stranger here.

  So did Caleb.

  She walked over to the large windows on the far wall. There was no balcony, and the building was only four stories, so she could easily see the street from her vantage point.

  It was just after six on a Wednesday in DC. The sidewalks were crowded with workers heading home and tourists. They weren’t very far from the Mall, and she watched a family with three blond girls trying to cross the street. Two of the girls were laughing, and the other was soberly holding her mother’s hand. The father was obviously checking street signs, trying to figure out where they were going.

  Kelly tried to imagine what it would feel like. To be those girls. To be that mother.

  She couldn’t even imagine having a family like that, going on a vacation, doing what so many other people did all the time.

  “It’s strange, isn’t it?” Caleb’s voice came closer with each word, and before she could turn around to face him, he’d slipped an arm around her waist.

  “What is?” she asked, still looking out the window since he seemed to be looking out too.

  “To look at all those normal people, going along with their normal lives.”

  He’d somehow managed to pinpoint what she was feeling exactly. She had no idea how he’d done it.

  The knowledge caused that same knot of heavy feeling to tighten in her gut. She wished they weren’t so connected like this, but there was no way to deny it. She couldn’t help but lean back against him. “Maybe those people don’t think their lives are all that normal.”

  “Maybe.” His mouth was now at her ear, and she shivered as she felt the vibrations from his voice against her skin. “But you and I both know there’s something different about us. Have you ever even thought about having a family like that?” He nodded down toward the family
of the blond girls, who were now on the other side of the street, waiting as the father checked his phone, probably for directions.

  “No,” she admitted. “It’s never even crossed my mind as a possibility.”

  Caleb pulled her against him more firmly, pressing his chest and pelvis into her back. “Me either. You and I are different.” His breath gusted lightly, blowing a few strands of hair away from her neck. “You are like me.”

  She felt her heart start to beat a little bit faster at the shift in his tone. She was beginning to recognize his bedroom voice—even if they weren’t actually in bed at the moment.

  But she couldn’t let herself get caught up in it completely. She needed to not cave like yesterday. She needed to keep enough emotional distance to be able to finally bring this whole charade to a close.

  So instead of doing the easy thing and melting into his arms, she kept looking out the window. “I am like you. But there’s a kind of arrogance to assuming that we’re different from everyone else. Who knows what is going on in that woman’s mind?” She was focused on the mother of the family, who was looking aggravated at both her husband and her three little girls.

  “I guarantee it’s not what’s going on in your mind right now,” he said huskily, tilting his face down to skim his lips along the side of her neck.

  The quality of his voice caused shudders to begin low in her spine. But at the same time something heavy settled in her gut—something felt just a little off about Caleb’s mood, or maybe about her own mood. She wasn’t even sure what it was.

  Caleb was acting in his usual sexy way, but things didn’t feel quite like normal.

  Since she wasn’t quite sure how to handle it, she stalled. “What makes you think you know what’s going on in my mind right now?”

  “Don’t fool yourself,” he murmured, his voice still at her ear, since he was holding her against him so she couldn’t turn around. “I know what’s going on in your mind, no matter what you try to hide from me.”

  Her whole body tightened, since the words came so close to her deepest fears. He didn’t know. So far she’d succeeded in hiding the most important thing from him.