When Colour Became Grey

by A Lorenzen

  I understood and frantically got out his phone. With shaking and blood smeared fingers I searched for Jesper in his contacts. The ringing was so slow. Years passed between each tone.

  Finally, a soft click as he answered.

  ‘Jesper,’ I gasped, not waiting for him to speak, ‘BEN NEEDS YOU NOW! He was bitten by a vampire!’ My voice was wheezy.

  Ben shook beneath me and a wave of blood sputtered out of his mouth and over my hand. ‘Hold on baby, ‘old on. Jesper is on his way, oh-ohk?’ My hands were trembling.

  It was getting painful to inhale.

  I got my phone out. I dialled the first speed dial, but it went straight to voicemail. ‘I ne-need you. Ben is wounded… and I was… bitten- bitten by…’ I gasped for air. ‘Vampire…’

  I tried to steady my breathing but the more I inhaled the less air reached my lungs.

  I dialled the next number on speed dial. Ben’s breathing was growing shallow. His eyes were half closed. Even with my hand on his neck the blood escaped my grasp. I couldn’t lose him!

  ‘I’m here, Caleb is close.’ A voice answered on the phone before I said a word.

  ‘Jesper is comin’…’ I sobbed, trying to comfort us both. Tears fell from my face and mixed with the expanding lake of blood around Ben.

  My throat continued to swell, crushing my windpipe further.

  ‘Meeeaaaa…’

  ‘Yes, I’m ‘ere. ‘old on. Jesper is comin’.’ I managed to gurgle between the gasps of air.

  A hiss made me look up from Ben. Three molochs were eyeing us hungrily from an alley inching closer. They would be a problem soon. I still had Ben’s gun but no more bullets.

  Tears rolled down my face as I sobbed over Ben’s struggling body.

  He had to make it. I had to save Ben. Jesper would come any minute now. Yes, for his trainer he would make it. He would make it here and save Ben.

  Another hissing echoed. Why couldn’t those pieces of shit leave us alone?!

  Ben’s movements stilled.

  I caressed his face gently with my broken hand, inadvertently smearing blood on his cheeks. We looked into each other’s eyes, just like we had this morning, lying in bed. We were back in the apartment, safe, just lovingly looking at each other, smiling and kissing.

  Gunshots drowned out my sobbing. All three molochs fell dead to the ground. I turned my gaze to see the shooter but all I could see was a vague figure. The tears in my eyes made it impossible to see who it was.

  ‘Let me see.’ A calm voice surrounded me. Caleb was by my side. A slight sense of control and relief spread in me. Caleb would know what to do. He would be able to help Ben while Jesper got here.

  He bowed down towards Ben and sucked blood out of his wound, spat it out, and repeated the process.

  My blood-covered hands trembled. My left arm had ballooned and taken on a fiery red colour. The veins had turned a deep purple, crawling visibly over the red skin.

  Caleb took out a needle and inserted it into Ben’s arm. ‘Meerah, hold the bag up.’

  The bag shook in my hand. Caleb inserted another needle into his neck and pressed the clear liquid in. The wound bubbled. Ben breathed a little better and I could feel the relief.

  ‘Meerah’ Caleb’s voice called my name. ‘It’s only temporary. He needs Jesper’s blood’

  My relief disappeared instantly. ‘He’s coming. I told him to come. He’s coming; he’s… he’s… yes.’

  I tried to convince myself. Tears multiplied. It was not going to end this way. No. Please.

  Caleb bandaged Ben’s neck as well as he could. He then turned his attention to me but I pulled my wounded arm away from him.

  ‘Help him first!’ I mouthed, barely breathing. The poison had almost completely closed off my windpipe.

  ‘I’ve done everything I can for him. I need to see to your bite or you will suffocate.’ He reached again for my arm and pulled it to his mouth.

  The moment his lips closed around the bite the pain shot through my body like an electric shock. Caleb sucked out blood and poison, spitting it out, just like he had done with Ben. I was starting to get dizzy. The poison burned. My heart pounded. Caleb continued working on my arm.

  It was getting too hard to hold on. My upper body went limp and I fell backwards. A pair of arms grabbed hold of me, keeping me upright. I looked up but all I saw was a blond shadow.

  My senses were numbed. I couldn’t feel anything but terrible pain. My head was not attached to my body. I had no more oxygen in my system. My breathing became an automated process without any use. I sounded like an exhausted vacuum cleaner trying to cling to life. It was too much to try and breathe in more deeply. And before I knew it, I couldn’t inhale anymore.

  In a sudden spasm I came back to myself, gulping in as much air as I could. I looked around, disoriented. I was lying in a street. I had pain in my back and my arm. A shadow moved in front of me and I lay against something moving. All I heard was my desperate breathing and muffled voices. Slowly the voices got clearer. The shadows took shape. Caleb held my face and looked into my eyes. ‘…slowly… yes… take it… yes… relax…’

  My throat was still swollen but I could breathe. Everything came back to me. The vampire, Ben… Ben!

  ‘Calm down!’ Caleb was somewhere to my right.

  I struggled to get up and fell forward onto my hands. The shock triggered a stab of pain from my left underarm all the way up to my heart. I crawled towards the body lying too stiffly on the floor, ignoring all my pains.

  ‘My love!’ I gently tried to wake him up. ‘Ben!’ I shouted and he opened his eyes.

  ‘Meeaaaa…’ he whispered.

  Caleb was by my side, gently trying to pull me away from him.

  ‘No!’ I freed myself from his grip. ‘Where is Jesper?!’ I shouted at Caleb. He didn’t answer. ‘Where is he?!’ I screamed at him again.

  Caleb carefully laid his hands on my shoulders. ‘He’s not here.’

  I looked back at Ben. There was so much blood. His neck wound had soaked the bandages and his neck had swollen up. He was suffocating.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Caleb whispered close to my ear.

  No.

  This wasn’t happening.

  NO!

  I moved back over to Ben and held his hand. He tried weakly to squeeze back. Tears rolled silently over my face, dripping onto the cold hard ground. ‘You will be ok, my love.’

  I caressed his arm, looking into his beautiful green eyes. He tried to say something. I leant further down to him. His breathing was loud and shallow.

  The realization of what would inevitably happen overpowered me. But I refused to believe it. I pushed the thought away with all my willpower.

  Ben tried to formulate words. He squeezed my hand lightly and pulled the edges of his mouth up into a discrete smile.

  He exhaled.

  His grip loosened.

  His eyes lost focus.

  His body went limp.

  ‘No, no, no, no, no…’ I could hear myself repeat. ‘Ben! Come back!’

  I turned to Caleb. ‘BRING HIM BACK!’

  ‘I can’t,’ Caleb stated motionless.

  I looked at Ben’s empty eyes staring into nothing. He was gone. He was quiet. It was over.

  Ben…

  He was…

  He was gone…

  MANIPULATIONS

  I woke up in a bed. I opened my eyes. Everything rushed back to my consciousness. A scream pierced through my bruised throat. He was gone. He had been torn away from me.

  Caleb hurried to my side.

  I didn’t want him there. He had not helped him! He could have kept him alive! He could have saved him!

  I fought my way out of the bed and pushed Caleb away, falling onto the floor. ‘DON’T!!!’ I cried at him. ‘Stay away!!’

  Caleb followed me around the bed to the other side. I continued crawling away from him, trying to escape. He kneeled down and forced his arms around me. At first, I tried to free myself, but
the sadness rendered me useless. I let myself go and gripped Caleb tightly. I screamed but my sorrow wouldn’t mitigate. All I could do was cry and scream.

  Days passed, weeks passed, months passed, I couldn’t tell and I didn’t care. The world could be collapsing outside, I didn’t care. The one person I cared about the most, the one person who had loved me unconditionally, had been torn from me. All I felt was emptiness. I was lost without him. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing. No one.

  Caleb sat down next to me, quietly looking into my eyes. I could feel his warmth radiating, trying to ease my pain. Every day he spent hours sitting next to me, softly caressing my arms and hair, holding me, trying to comfort me. Sometimes we would talk but it would usually end in tears.

  * * *

  ‘Meerah, you should go outside, get some air.’ Caleb’s voice took me out of my eternally destructive thought spiral.

  I turned my head towards him in the doorframe and blinked. How much time had passed? Caleb helped me out of bed. As I left the room I had nested in, the sudden light blinded me. The sun was low in the sky and shone directly at me. How long had it been since I had last seen the sun?

  Caleb put a jacket over my shoulders and led me outside. I breathed in but no fresh air entered my lungs. He took my hand and we started walking. Wherever he took me, I didn’t care.

  I looked around but didn’t really see anything. All I was aware of was the gentle heat emanating from Caleb’s hand. The layer of snow on the ground was crusty and a few days old. It was warmer than I had expected. Or was that just in my mind?

  I would have preferred a grey sky to the blue one. I still had over half a century left… I let out a snort. This hellhole knew exactly how to break you. It was playing with all our lives. We were at the mercy of this world and the council.

  Caleb turned towards me. My blank expression didn’t seem to satisfy his frown. He led me to a bench and sat me down next to him.

  ‘Ameerah, my sweet child,’ his intoxicatingly sweet voice lulled to me, ‘I can only imagine your pain. I wish I could have saved him.’ I stared at him with empty eyes. ‘I will do everything I can to help you-’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I asked aggressively.

  He sighed and reached for my hand. His warmth calmed me. ‘I have safe-guarded you for the past few weeks, but the council is demanding a hearing with you. They want you to explain the circumstances that resulted in Ben’s-’

  The moment he had uttered his name I could feel my heart bursting into pieces all over again. I tried to hold in my tears, unsuccessfully. A fresh wave of warmth came from his hand, radiating through my body. ‘When is the hearing?’ I asked.

  ‘In a few days.’

  I breathed in deeply. ‘I… I will… I can do it’

  ‘There is something else you should know.’ Caleb was visibly uncomfortable. I waited for him to spit out whatever he was afraid of saying. ‘You have been accused of… dragging him down a path of revenge…’

  ‘Who? Who is saying that?’

  Caleb closed his eyes. ‘His master. Jesper,’ he whispered.

  The anger manifested in an instant. ‘How dare he?!’ I jumped up and screamed. ‘HE was the one who didn’t show up! HE let his trainer die and now he wants to pin this on me?!’

  ‘Calm down,’ Caleb said half-heartedly.

  ‘I will not calm down! HE left him to die! He’s gone because of him! JESPER killed his recruit and his trainer! I told you! I told you to take care of him! Look at what you did-’

  Caleb’s eyes stood out against his dark skin. ‘Stop it!’ His words were my command. ‘I told you it was very complicated to get a master removed. I told you I would try and find a way, but Ben rushed into a situation without thinking-’

  My lips trembled. I couldn’t listen any longer. My love had done nothing wrong. He would have been fine; he could have lived…

  I hid my face in my hands and sobbed.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Caleb placed his hands on mine and gently pulled them away from my face. He looked into my eyes trying to appease my sorrow.

  ‘I need some space,’ I mumbled.

  ‘Meerah, that’s not a good idea’

  ‘Please, Caleb. Please don’t… force me. Let me-’ I broke in tears.

  I turned from Caleb and walked away. I just wanted to be alone with my pain. Caleb would only try to make it go away. All I had left of Ben was my pain, my pain and my memories. This shithole had taken him away from me!

  Soon the sun disappeared behind the clouds and the sky formed a black curtain over the world. The temperature dropped. I pulled the jacket closer around my body and kept walking decisively nowhere.

  ‘I didn’t ask for this!’ I screamed out into the world. ‘How dare you take him away from me?! Why? WHY! WHY??? Tell me WHY??!! Fuck you! FUCK YOU!’ I pointed at the black sky.

  No response. I broke down, letting myself fall to the ground whimpering alone in the darkness.

  A sound caught my attention.

  I paused for a moment. Another sound. I raised myself up. A hiss.

  I couldn’t believe it! Those fuckers were here, again!

  Blinded with fury I ran towards the noises. I found them draining a human corpse. They bared their teeth at me. In return, I screamed at the disgusting creatures. Two jumped towards me; one had a darker skin, the other one was missing an eye. I punched the darker skinned one in mid-air, while the other one got a hold of my arm.

  I grabbed the one-eyed thing by the back of the head, pulled it away from my arm and swung it violently into the wall next to me. It slid to the ground.

  The other came right for my face. I reached for it while it flew towards me and got hold of its throat and squeezed. The beast clawed at me but only managed to scratch my arms. Tears blurred my vision in the dark. I pressed as hard as I could until there was a crack and I broke its neck. My fingers were covered in moloch blood.

  The remaining one-eyed moloch moved closer. Without hesitation I jumped on it, bringing my fists down in rage. I burst its jaw open. A sob escaped my throat.

  You killed him; you monsters did this to him!

  I continued to drive my fists into the beast, blood splattering all over. Organs burst and more blood seeped out. I got up and looked at the damage I had done. The moloch was beyond recognizable.

  Unsatisfied, I turned back to the other moloch I had killed.

  How simple. They were gone. Just like he was. I screamed at the dead corpse. No response.

  I kicked the thing, again, and again. I lifted the corpse by its arm and swung it against the building, letting it smack against the bricks. The bones cracked. I couldn’t stop. I kept banging the corpse against the wall, until the wall was covered in red.

  Out of breath and tired, I let the corpse go. It dropped to the floor and landed in the once white snow.

  It hadn’t helped. It hadn’t changed a thing. He was still gone. I was still alone, now covered in moloch blood. My clothes were soaked. My arms dripped with the red poison.

  My eyes fell onto the human further back. His eyes were open, one of his legs broken and twisted back at a horrible angle. There were bite marks everywhere.

  I kneeled down next to the body, looking at its empty eyes. They were filled with so much fear.

  Why were there monsters in this world? Why did I have to be here? Why did I have to lose him? Why did we have to run into Viktor?

  Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. I reached over and gently closed his eyes, leaving two dots of red blood on his lids. He looked more peaceful now. I realigned his leg and positioned his arms down by his side, angling the underarms upwards and placing his hands together over his chest.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered. ‘I’m so sorry you died.’ Everywhere I touched the human I left traces of moloch blood.

  I walked alone in the night for hours. Somehow, I found my way to Caleb’s place. I only knew it was his place because the light was on inside and I could see him looking out onto the street.

&n
bsp; I walked the gravel pathway up to his house. Caleb stood in the entrance and looked at me, worried.

  ‘What?’ I said tonelessly and exhausted.

  ‘You’re covered in blood.’ He gestured in my direction; his eyes wide open.

  I looked down at myself. Sure enough, I was covered in blood. I shrugged and dragged my feet into the house and into the bathroom, leaving a trail of wet snow and blood behind me.

  In the shower I watched the blood wash off my body and disappear down the drain. All traces of my anger slowly dissolved in the water, as if nothing had happened. My skin was free of any evidence.

  * * *

  I eyed the creatures floating towards the podium. Here we go again.

  ‘Explain to us the circumstances leading up to the death of the trainer named Ben,’ I heard in my head.

  It was cold in the hall. I felt small and insignificant looking up at the motionless creatures in front of me, behind the table lifted up on the stage.

  ‘I was with him on my way to a raid when we both felt the vampire was near. We decided to go after it. But… were surprised… another one showed up…’

  I had pushed all emotions far away from my conscience. I was telling a story that had happened to someone else, a tale from a distant land.

  ‘Where was the location of your raid with the trainer named Ben?’ they questioned.

  I breathed in deeply. ‘I don’t know. Ben was the one who planned it. I was just his back-up,’ I stated.

  ‘Do you know the name of the two vampires you killed?’

  ‘No,’ I lied.

  ‘One of the vampires was named Jason. Have you heard that name before?’

  ‘I don’t remember,’ I answered.

  ‘Do not attempt to fool us, recruit!’

  ‘I do remember the name Jason from my previous hearing, yes,’ I admitted.

  ‘Do you know of the personal connection the trainer named Ben had with the vampire named Jason?’

  ‘I assume it had something to do with his recruit’s death, but I don’t know anything concrete about this. I’ve only heard rumours,’ I lied again.

  ‘Accusations have been made against you by Ben’s trainer named Jesper about your relationship with Ben. He accuses you of having dragged him down a path of self-destruction and vengeance that ultimately led to his death. Do you concur?’