When Colour Became Grey

by A Lorenzen

  My scream drowned out the machinery buzzing next to us. He pulled me towards him using the hammer embedded in my flesh, tearing the wound further open. My nails dug into the floor, trying to stop myself from being pulled closer but they slipped along the waxed laminated floor.

  As he dragged me back my right hand gathered a handful of nails that were tossed across the floor. When he grabbed my waist and turned me towards him, I threw the nails at his face and punched him in the side. Without thinking I tore the hammer out of my thigh and slammed it as hard as I could into his abdomen. Now he was the one screaming in pain.

  I tried to throw myself on top of him, but he pushed me away and I landed on the hard ground, just under the wall with all the tools. There were some loose metal bars not too far from me. With a big lunge I reached for one and as I rolled onto my back, I could see him running towards me. I swung as far as I could and smashed the metal bar into his head. It stopped him in his tracks, making him stumble into the wall and onto the ground. The metal bar had bent from the impact. I used it to hoist myself up onto my legs. The back of my right leg was pissing blood, making the floor around me slippery. Both my legs were now bleeding.

  Before the monster had time to get up, I hit him again, bending the metal bar further. Several times I hit the vampire until his skull split open and blood and brain splattered everywhere. The metal bar made a clanking noise when I let it go and it hit the waxed floor. My hands were trembling. My clothes were covered in his blood and pieces of his brain and skull.

  Limping towards Dominic and Kim’s hideout, I tried to wipe the mixture of blood and sweat from my face. I knocked on the door, but Kim only opened it when I called out her name. Her face was white as paper when she saw me.

  ‘Get Dom out now,’ was all I managed to mouth.

  ‘You look like one of them.’ Her voice was barely more than a terrified whisper. I had never seen her so scared. The look she gave me was unbearable. I wanted to scratch out my own eyes just to not have to see the fear in her eyes ever again. Her fear of me.

  A renewed sense of unease in my stomach alarmed me. My head tilted towards where I had just come from.

  ‘Kim get out now,’ I whispered. Without waiting for her to respond, I limped back to where I had killed the last vampire. Another one appeared.

  Another one! Was this a nest?! Where were they all coming from?!

  He bared his teeth in amusement at the destruction around us.

  I could hear Kim trying to get Dominic up not far behind me. The vampire ran towards me, showing his long sharp teeth. In one motion I bowed down and turned, aiming my left shoulder right at him. He hit me with full force in the shoulder, but I was able to hold him off. With my right hand I boxed into his abdomen. The vampire cast me aside and moved towards Kim who was at the door, Dominic leaning heavily on her. She fired three shots at the vampire to slow him down. I threw myself at the beast and tore him away from them, landing on the ground. The vampire got up, pushing me off his back, but I got a hold of his leg and stopped him from going after Kim and Dominic. With all my willpower I clung to his leg and refused to let go.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Kim turn her back and slowly move away from the danger. Dominic was barely able to move his feet. Kim held him upright, pulling him along with her.

  The vampire kicked me in the stomach, breaking some ribs. Just as he was about to set off again in pursuit of Kim and Dominic, I swung my left leg forward between his feet, making him trip and fall. I clawed at his feet and as quickly as I could, crawled up his leg towards his hips, and further up onto his back. He tried to get me off, but my strength prevailed. As he tried to get a hold of me with his left hand, I pulled at the arm as hard as I could. A crack confirmed I had disconnected it from his shoulder. I got up and grabbed a hold of the disconnected arm and pulled him backwards, towards where I had smashed the brains in of the second vampire. He reached backwards with his good arm, but I had already pulled him to where I wanted him. I let go and lunged for another one of those metal bars. When I faced him, he was on his feet. He was leaning towards me, his bad arm dangling helplessly to his left side.

  I attacked by swinging the metal bar towards him, trying to hit him. He backtracked and ducked until he got a hold of the bar and snatched it out of my hands. As he pulled it out of my hands, he also pulled me towards himself and reached for my throat. But I knew they often went for the throat and I turned sideways. I twisted his broken arm again, so I was now standing behind him.

  Now I swung my right arm around his neck and pressed it closed as hard as I could. He tried to scratch at me with his one arm, but it was useless. I squeezed as hard as I could. My body wanted to give in, but I used up all of my willpower to focus on killing him. My fingers were slippery with blood and sweat, and my arms trembled from the struggling vampire. It did not matter; all I focused on was saving those I loved.

  Eventually his body relaxed and he stopped struggling. Drained and worn out, I let go and prayed this was the last one. This fight had taken all of me, more than I thought I had and now there was nothing left inside. My whole body shook. With my last strength I got hold of the metal bar he had taken from me and bashed his head in until his skull was a smashed pumpkin.

  The sight of the three dead vampires made me convulse. How was I still alive? How had I fought all three of them off?

  Then the hissing started to come back. The molochs were lurking, eyeing an easy meal. This world was relentless!

  I could not stay here. Blake was coming. He could not see me like this. My eyes had changed. Kim had said I looked like one of them. Altogether, those were more than enough reason for me to disappear.

  My right leg screamed with pain at every step from the deep tissue damage of the hammer. My purse lay in the doorway of the room Kim and Dominic had hidden in. With the help of one of the metal bars I hobbled towards it and then out the back of the factory. Blake would most likely be coming from the front of the factory, where Kim had dragged Dominic out. He could not see me like this.

  THE CURSE

  I shivered near uncontrollably. The rain had picked up again. I struggled against the blasting wind. I couldn’t remember how long I had been walking. My head was dizzy from blood loss. Whenever I remembered the dead vampires sprawled across the factory floor, I convulsed. How had I made it out alive? I had left so much carnage. Blood, brain and bone fragments everywhere.

  A new gust of wind pulled at my clothes, finding the tears in my jeans jacket, cooling me again. Tumbling and shaking, I fell through a door to an apartment complex. Aiming for the first door beyond the entrance, I pushed it open and inspected the surroundings. It was a basement filled with washing machines and tumble dryers. The soft rumbling made me sleepy. It was not the safest place to hide, but it would have to do. My skin was cold and sweaty. The adrenaline had left my body and my muscles protested.

  One of the dryers finished its cycle and beeped twice. With the last of my energy I emptied it of its fluffy, hot duvet sheets and wrapped myself in them.

  Several times I broke out of my feverish sleep with my stomach aching and contracting uncontrollably, followed by episodes of vomiting blood.

  When I fully woke up, I wanted to get up and go home but I had no energy to move. All I could do was lie there and let myself be pulled back into a troubled sleep.

  Several days passed, before I was able to stay awake longer than a few moments to vomit, or later dry heave. The blood attracted all kinds of unwanted animals; small insects and crawling bugs gathered to have a taste. Every time I woke up, I found more of them had appeared, crawling over me, buzzing and flying around.

  It was the rat that finally forced me to get myself up and away from the tsunami of insects. I saw it run across the floor from one side of the room to the other and disappear into a hole in the wall behind one of the washing machines. It was so disgusting if I had not emptied myself previously, I would have then. It brought with it the smell of rotting food mixed with dampnes
s.

  My hunger flourished with each step I took. Or was it thirst? There was nothing I wanted more than a shower, but I knew I had to drink blood first. It was unbearable to think about all the blood I had thrown up over the last few days and still crave more of it. If I hadn’t been on my way to hell before, I certainly was now.

  The sun was high in the sky, the temperatures mild. What I wouldn’t give to be freed of this nightmare. Tears fell from my eyes and mixed with the dirt and dried blood on my face. I smelled of death.

  On my way to Blake’s house, I stopped for a quick kill; it was automatic, like a reflex. It hadn’t taken me more than a few minutes to locate one and finish the little creatures off. I was repulsed by the sight of the dead moloch and the blood oozing out of its neck, but my addiction threw any sense of dignity out of the window and soon my face was covered in fresh blood.

  When I finally reached Blake’s house, I was relieved to see his car was not parked in the driveway. Aware of how horrific I must have looked I hurried into the house and locked the bathroom door behind me. When my eyes caught my reflection in the mirror, I froze in utter shock. There was nothing human about me anymore. I couldn’t recognize myself. My face was covered in dirt, tears, and fresh and dried blood. The layer of filth on my face was so thick you couldn’t see my skin beneath it. I pulled one of my sleeves up. The skin underneath was white. My once deep brown eyes had been replaced with reptilian ones. Though the pupils were back to their normal shape, they looked primitive and empty. My clothes were covered in blood and dirt. It was a much worse sight than after I had butchering the molochs after Ben’s death, or after I had killed Jesper. What had I become? What would Ben think if he saw me now?

  New tears rolled down my cheeks barely visible on the crust on my face. Mechanically, I undressed and stepped into the shower. The water turned grey and the dirt caked under my feet while I scrubbed my skin and hair. I washed myself thoroughly with half the bottle of shampoo and conditioner.

  By the time the last of the suds had washed away, the drain had gotten clogged by the dirt. My hair felt light and fresh, as if nothing had ever happened.

  Wishfully, I dared a look into the mirror. The reflection resembled something more like myself again. A bit of make-up would cover the rings under my eyes and make me look more human again. Just as I got out of the bathroom, I heard Blake open the door at the bottom of the stairs. I stuffed my blood-covered clothes under my bed and swung the door to my bedroom shut behind me. I put on some comfortable clothes and a dash of make-up before reopening the door.

  Blake was sitting in his usual chair, his head resting against his left hand. He sighed deeply when he saw me come out of my bedroom.

  ‘Where have you been? I was worried about you.’ He got up and approached me. Fearing he would see something different about me, I ran off into the kitchen.

  ‘I was out. I had to think about things. Ok? The fight brought back bad memories.’

  ‘Where did you go? You were gone for days!’ His voice got louder.

  ‘I… I… there were molochs so I ran after them and killed some, alright?!’

  ‘You…’ Blake couldn’t help but chuckle. ‘You ran after some molochs? That’s your excuse? You couldn’t come up with anything better than that during all this time that you were gone?!’ He crossed his arms over his chest and stood in front of me, blocking any possible escape from the kitchen. I proceeded to making myself a coffee.

  There was a moment of silence. Then he stepped closer, eyeing me with those icy blue eyes. ‘You know, Kim was very vague on what happened in that warehouse and your whereabouts afterwards. All she would say was that you would be fine. Lucky for me, Dominic woke up yesterday and filled me in on some of the details,’ Blake began. His eyes fixated on me, searching for any sign of hesitation. ‘He didn’t remember much but he did say he clearly saw you kill a vampire with your bare hands.’

  I let a few moments pass before I confirmed it.

  ‘When I got to the warehouse,’ Blake tilted his head, ‘There were three dead vampires.’

  ‘Yes… and?’

  Blake backed away from me and brushed through his hair in frustration. ‘How do you explain this? How were you able to kill three vampires with your bare hands?!’ He gesticulated wildly.

  ‘I guess I got lucky. I don’t know, the adrenaline, whatever.’ I reached for the cup of coffee and brushed past him out of the kitchen, my head bowed down and focusing on the floor.

  ‘Ameerah, this is not normal!’ He grabbed my arm and spun me back around. Our faces were so close I felt his breath on my cheeks. His deep blue eyes scrutinized me, searching for any flicker on my face. ‘Tell me the truth!’

  Had my pupils really gone back to their usual shape? Suddenly I couldn’t remember.

  ‘Fine! I killed them, with my bare hands! I was scared and I knew Kim and Dom were going to die if I didn’t protect them! Dominic was bleeding all over the place-’ a shudder went through me as I remembered the delicious smell of his blood. I was disgusted with myself. So much so, I had to hold back dry heaves.

  He let go of my arm and I backed away. I turned around and walked towards my bedroom.

  ‘What about when Ben died?’ he asked.

  Just like that he opened the box I so desperately tried to keep closed. I slowly turned to look at him. Thunder stormed inside me.

  ‘I told you not to speak of him,’ I threatened in a low voice.

  ‘You weren’t this strong when Ben died. You had guns-,’ Blake pushed.

  I knew he was doing it on purpose, but I couldn’t stop myself. I threw the hot cup of coffee at him, the liquid spilling out and splashing across his arm, as he lifted it to protect his face. I threw myself at him, hitting him and making us both fall to the floor. Blake pushed me off and into the kitchen wall. He rolled away, trying to crawl away from me, but I jumped back on top of him, pushing the air out of his lungs. Blake hit me in the face with his elbow, breaking my nose.

  Blake got out from under me and got a hold of the table in the living room. He tried to lift himself up, but I lunged at him before he had time to get out of my reach. My swing was too strong and we both crashed into the leg of the table, making the table rock. Guns sprawled out onto the floor and loose bullets rained down on us.

  Blake reached back towards me and got a hold of my throat, pressing my windpipe shut. I swung my right fist and connected it with his face. He let go of my throat and I fell to the side. He then kicked me, making me slide further away. I tried to roll back on all fours, as he crawled behind the table. Furious, I fought my way back closer to him and had reached his right leg, but before I had managed anything, I heard the distinct click of a handgun being cocked.

  Instinctively I ducked away. Blake fired a warning shot. Again, he kicked me, this time with both feet and I crashed into the upper staircase, banging my head against the wood.

  ‘Ameerah!’ he screamed.

  I stopped. I realized what I had done. Blake had the gun pointed at me. His eyes were full of incomprehension and disbelief.

  What had I done?

  ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…,’ I spoke, barely audible.

  Blake shook his head. ‘What’s going on with you?’ he asked perplexed. I could see it in his eyes; he was worried, and afraid.

  He let go of the gun and pushed himself up on his feet. Without looking at me again, he walked up the stairs and into his bedroom.

  How could I snap like this? I had shot him once before but that was after he had shot Ben. This was different.

  I was so ashamed. Was the moloch blood affecting my mood? It had to be. Was I too far down that path to stop? What could I do now? Admit what I had gotten myself into? No, no, no, I could never admit to Blake what I had done. He wouldn’t understand.

  Tears were stinging in my eyes. What was going on with me?

  I had to stop. For real this time. I. Had. To. Stop. I couldn’t continue.

  You’re doomed, a voice whispered in
my head.

  Panicked, I dialled the one person who knew my secret. Kim was grateful to hear from me, but as soon as I told her what had happened since I had left the factory, everything up to and including the fight with Blake, she grew more and more concerned. Her nervousness was contagious. By the end of the call I felt even more helpless. She was surprised Blake had not seen it in my eyes.

  I remembered Caleb had asked Blake to follow me. Last time I had gotten lucky, but it wouldn’t happen a second time. Now more than ever he suspected something was going on.

  I had to stay positive, I could do this. If I could fight molochs and vampires and survive in this shithole of a place, away from my friends and family and forced to serve sixty-some years for a crime I had not committed, torn away from my love, then I could get over my addiction to moloch blood.

  To avoid temptation, I stayed inside and trained. When I wasn’t training, I read or watched TV. Blake was never far and I caught him watching me all the time.

  The more time passed, the more restless I got. Clearly, I was suffering from withdrawal. How long would this last? A few days? A week? Longer?

  Soon, every other thought I had was about my desire to drink blood. It grew by the minute.

  Blake did his best to provoke me. It only added to my stress. I couldn’t bear it and only five days later, I ended up taking a long walk outside, far away from it all.

  Walking always brought me some solace. I imagined I was with Bruce walking through the dried-out grass plains in southern France, the hot air caressing my skin, thunderstorms looming in the distance.

  Every time I heard a noise out on the street, the thought of blood blasted through my brain like an air horn. The desire to drink completely overpowered me. Despite trying my best to stay focused on my steps, it followed me everywhere I went like my shadow. It was better to stay indoors and wait it out. But Blake would not stop poking me, trying to make me react…

  The next day Holly was training with him when he accidentally cut her on her upper arm. It was not a deep wound, but deep enough to have blood spilling down her arm and dripping from her fingertips. The urge to drink was almost unbearable. I had stormed out and run for several hours. What if I had attacked her!