My Forbidden Mentor

by Laura Mills

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Sheffield

  Melissa’s ride to her cousin George and Cecilia’s seemed long. The more she tried thinking of what a great time she was going to have, the more John bombarded her thoughts. Although she hated to admit it, she missed him something fierce. She reminisced about the laughter they’d shared, his melting smile and his glittering eyes that shined and touched her body with their intensity. Closing her eyes as the memories continued, his soft mouth came to mind. Warm and sensual, it always applied heat wherever it touched.

  After turning a corner on the path of the dirt road a small white house appeared in the near distance. Melissa, distracted by her reminiscing thoughts, was startled by the voice of a small boy, making her realize that the carriage had actually stopped.

  “Lissa, Lissa,” Samuel cried. She was his favorite cousin and he always enjoyed their play times together. He was almost five and still preferred to call her Lissa, an easier alternative than her full name. She didn’t mind because it was his unique nickname for her.

  As she stepped out of the carriage Samuel jumped up and down before her, happy as he could be. Melissa bent down to pick him up. “Come here you big boy.” Balancing him on her hip, she turned to retrieve her luggage, but Cecilia came rushing up behind her, reaching to take the luggage. “Let me get that, love.”

  Melissa put Samuel down and took the luggage from Cecilia. “Thank you Cecilia, but you’re the one who should be taking it easy. Didn’t you just have a babe not three weeks ago?” she commented as they walked along the cobblestone path to the quaint little house.

  “Well if you didn’t have my children barraging you the whole time,” Cecilia stated while opening the door for her.

  Melissa set her bags down and Kirsten, Cecilia’s middle child, instantly had her arms wrapped around Melissa’s leg. “I really don’t mind Cecilia. I love children,” she said with a sincere smile, looking down upon a little blond head.

  Cecilia went on to get her newborn, excited for Melissa to see her. “And they love you,” she said while taking the babe out of a wooden crib. “You’re going to make a great mother when you have children Melissa. I can tell,” she told her while handing her the baby to hold.

  Melissa melted when seeing the newborn, her tiny fingers grasping at Melissa’s finger. “Perhaps one day in the future,” she commented while having the briefest thought she was holding a babe that she and John had conceived. “But for now I’ll enjoy being a favorite cousin,” she added, making gestures toward the infant.

  “This is Catherine,” Cecilia announced, watching Melissa and the children together. She noticed that Melissa wasn’t her usual bouncy self and made a mental note to inquire about it later when they had more privacy.

  George came home just in time for supper and afterward they all visited. When mentioning Melissa’s father they all reminisced about their joyous memories of him. Later that evening, while George and Cecilia put the children to bed together, Melissa sat next to the raging fire pondering more about her father, that she had missed him more than she had realized.

  She stared into the dancing flames, asking her father for help on resolving her feelings for John and wondering if John could be trusted. When she replayed John’s last words to her only pain, deep, cutting pain, resulted from the memory. This constant turmoil was eating at her insides and it began showing more prominently outward. I need to move on, concentrate on my own dreams, Melissa kept telling herself, when Cecilia appeared.

  Cecilia stepped over to the fireplace and sat next to Melissa, interrupting her deliberation. “May I ask of your thoughts?”

  Melissa turned in Cecilia’s direction. “Nothing really. Nothing to worry about,” she said, giving her a faint smile in return.

  Cecilia knew better and offered support. “Melissa you’re not yourself, I can tell. I’m a great listener,” she told her, disliking the unhappiness she saw in her eyes.

  Melissa was desperate to talk to someone. Perhaps it would be a relief to let out some of the anguish and internal pressure that had built. Cecilia was kind enough and she trusted her. “I met a man a couple of months ago. An extraordinary man,” she was saying while recalling their initial meeting, which seemed so long ago now, and then the words started pouring out without warning. “I’m in love with him Cecilia, and I don’t know what to do about it.” Her hazel stare turned watery.

  Cecilia could see real pain in those eyes, real conflict, and her heart went out to her. “Oh Melissa, does he know how you feel?” she asked, taking her hand in her own to comfort her.

  Melissa held the tears back when she answered, “Yes.” She glanced back into the crackling hot flames, mesmerized.

  Cecilia was curious about this man who had such a hold on Melissa’s heart. “Does he love you?” she inquired, asking the one question that caused the most pain.

  Melissa answered in a whisper. “I don’t think so. I don’t know,” she said, turning back to Cecilia.

  Cecilia remembered the first time she was in love, which was with George, and revealed her own observations. “Melissa how do you know for sure that he doesn’t? Men seem to have a hard time with words, I think. They feel more comfortable showing you how they feel. George didn’t tell me he loved me right away. Of course I felt better when he did, but men are different at expressing themselves, even with children. They show affection in different ways but it still makes them lovable.” Hoping to ease her wondering, Cecilia spoke from her own experience.

  Cecilia was making sense but there was more involved between her and John. “Well that helps to understand more but I have an additional problem.”

  “What’s that?”

  “A past lover of John’s confronted me and said some disturbing things about him, but she left me wondering if they were true. To make matters worse, I found out this same lover is carrying John’s child.” Her eyes were glassy when they focused on Cecilia’s reaction. “As if that weren’t bad enough, he won’t acknowledge the child. He won’t marry her because he doesn’t love her, but my concern is for the child.”

  “Did he tell you this?” Cecilia asked.

  “That he wouldn’t marry her, yes,” Melissa answered.

  “Because he doesn’t love her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did he verify the child was his?” Cecilia was making her own determinations.

  “Not in so many words, but she asked him to marry her for the child’s sake.”

  “She sounds bold. How does he treat you?”

  “He always treats me well.” Until he called me a harlot and left me, Melissa thought to herself, and the sobs began. “How could I let myself fall in love with him Cecilia?”

  Cecilia reached over with a supportive embrace. “How could you not? He’s special to you for a reason, Melissa, I truly believe that.” Cecilia stroked the golden head that lay on her shoulder. “Melissa, from my own experiences I’ve come to rely on someone’s actions more than their words. Observe his actions, the words will come later. It’s your decision, love, but if he cares as much for you, don’t give up yet.” She’d never seen Melissa this dependent for affection, but after losing both parents the energy it must take to remain strong had probably caught up to her. Cecilia imagined that being in love and apart only intensified her feelings. “This will work out, I promise you.”

  For the next hour Melissa and Cecilia stayed huddled together before the dying fire, content to reminisce about their past visits and the fun they’d had. Cecilia, two years older than Melissa, seemed more like a sister than a cousin by marriage. Over the course of the next two weeks the closeness they had developed made them feel more like sisters than ever before.

  During her stay Melissa thought a lot about what Cecilia had said that first night. She had become an incredible comfort. Getting her unbiased opinion had helped to clear Melissa’s head and finally make some rational decisions. Cecilia and the children were the perfect distraction and they kept her busy the whole tim
e of her visit. Actually feeling relaxed for once since parting from John, she almost hated leaving but knew it was inevitable and knew she would eventually be faced with John sometime in the near future. Until then she would pamper herself, maybe stop and tour desirable towns on the way home.

  Cousin George arrived a week early. Luck was upon him for he’d found substantial work to hold his family throughout the wintertime. In the midst of celebrating George’s good luck Melissa mentioned seeing some sights on the way back home, deciding upon the upcoming races being held in Sheffield. Cecilia suggested she leave early and take her time since Cecilia knew Melissa’s situation and knew she could benefit from some time spent alone.

  Melissa finally agreed but decided to stay a couple more days so George and Cecilia could have some time alone. Surprisingly over those last couple of days, Melissa woke up feeling under the weather, accompanied with light nausea. Although she hadn’t gotten sick Cecilia made her rest the last day, becoming suspicious of her symptoms, and more questions surfaced in regards to the young man Melissa loved.

  Sitting in a chair next to the bed where Melissa lay resting, Cecilia asked while cooling her forehead with a damp cloth, “Are you feeling better?”

  It was mid afternoon and Melissa was feeling substantially better than she had earlier that morning. The sickness had subsided but she remained awfully tired. “Yes, thank you,” she said in response to her concerned question.

  Cecilia debated on how to approach her next inquiry as it involved a very personal matter, but she proceeded out of concern for her cousin. “Forgive me for being so forward, but have you and this young man of yours been intimate?”

  Melissa’s surprise was evident, and before she answered Cecilia was eager to explain, remedying the awkwardness. “I only ask because your symptoms are very much like being pregnant.”

  With that said Melissa’s face paled as she knew of anyone Cecilia would know, but still there was the high possibility she wasn’t as they had taken precautions. “Yes we have been intimate, but we used protection, Cecilia. Please mention this to no one.” In telling her, Melissa’s thoughts raced back to their first encounter, and even the second and third, which were all without protection. It couldn’t be true. It was only those few isolated times. A dreadful thought entered her mind: if it were true now was not the right time, not when the father was no longer around or would even care. If she was pregnant and John found out he would be out of her life for good and she would have to raise their child alone. But who was to say she was even with child. She probably had a touch of some flu, or at least that was what she wanted to believe. The thought of never seeing John again was devastating.

  Cecilia defined what the beginning signs were but Melissa was so adamant it couldn’t be that Cecilia let it drop. By the next day Melissa was feeling like herself again. Feeling better helped to ease her mind, answering those dreadful questions with confidence. There were no more questions, only long goodbyes as Melissa prepared to leave.

  Richmond

  The haze of smoke filling the air of Sally’s place smelled of cigars and heavy liquor. The cloud of fumes carefully hid Rose from general view as she stood behind the wooden staircase that towered toward the back of the pub. She’d been minding her own business when she had overheard a conversation between Sally, the owner and Vanessa, the troublemaker.

  Aware of what had taken place between Vanessa and John, Rose carefully listened with precise curiosity.

  “What is it, honey?” Sally asked.

  “I need a small favor,” Vanessa had responded. “Have you come across any male virgins of late?”

  “Well, they’re so rare, I’d definitely remember if I had. For whom?” Sally had asked.

  “For me, actually. I need a challenge. Do you know of one?” Vanessa sounded desperate.

  There was a motionless pause before Sally responded. Rose couldn’t believe the conversation they were having and how odd it seemed that Vanessa would make such a request. Rose thought it was reason enough to be suspicious.

  “This doesn’t seem like you, Vanessa,” Sally commented, then paused, before saying, “Give me a moment to inquire. I’ll be right back.”

  Rose eased back into the darkness of the stairway when Sally breezed by her. Several minutes passed before Sally returned.

  “Darling, it’s your lucky night. The young gentleman I was thinking of is here tonight. He’s at the card table,” Sally told Vanessa and then added, “He’s quite handsome for a young lad.”

  “Thank you Sally. You’ve done me a grand favor,” Vanessa replied and came into Rose’s view.

  “You’re welcome, Vanessa.” Sally reached Vanessa’s side, pointing out the lad. “Over there.”

  “What’s his name?” Vanessa inquired.

  “Jack. Jack McGuire,” Sally revealed. “Be gentle, darling.”

  “Gentle, of course.” Vanessa’s response seemed preoccupied.

  As both ladies drifted apart Rose captured a bird’s eye view, maneuvering behind the staircase, her gaze intent on Vanessa’s direction. She witnessed Vanessa approaching a card table with one vacant seat. Vanessa smiled with glory when taking that seat, which happened to be across from the lad Sally had pointed out.

  Why a virgin, Vanessa? What could you possibly want with a virgin? Rose deliberated to herself, fishing for clues. A strange sensation came over her that made her believe Vanessa was planning some kind of mischief. With what she had learned from Robert about John and his situation, it gave her all the more reason to believe it.

  Should she keep her eye on Vanessa and the lad? She couldn’t possibly watch them day and night. With her shift being over, she decided to hunt down Robert and get his opinion about the whole idea. She whirled down the dimly lit hall to her room and readied herself to go.

  John had spent two weeks preparing Chief and his stable hands for the trip to Sheffield. With a couple of days for traveling and a couple more days at the track, his trip to Sheffield was calculated for up to a week, which was perfect timing to be back home and hopefully graced with Melissa’s presence, but he would think about that in a week. Right now he needed to contact Robert as he planned to leave in the morning.

  John stepped into Sally’s place hoping to find Robert when instead he found his father. His body stiffened upon seeing his drunk and disorderly father seated at the bar carousing with a young lady. He tried passing by unnoticed but there was no escaping him. Even in his drunken state he recognized his only son.

  “John,” his father called out, turning on the stool and almost falling off, but his lady friend helped steady him. John stopped and in reluctance turned toward him. It was better to acknowledge him than pretend otherwise as he could get loud and extremely obnoxious when ignored. “Come here and visit your old father, son. I haven’t seen you in awhile.”

  John could smell his liquored breath from where he stood. John didn’t even break a smile for him and he planned to make this visit as short as possible. “How are you father?” His stomach turned as the young lady twirled his father’s peppered hair between her fingers. He still carried on as he always had, more so since the death of his mother, except the women were getting younger. This one in particular didn’t look a day over twenty-one, the same age as Melissa, he thought.

  John experienced a rise of nausea as the young lady winked his way, making her flirtations brazen. It was quite clear the lady was signaling an evening with both the father and the son. John steadied his eyes on his father and kept them there.

  “I’m perfectly fine, son. I heard you’ve got yourself a young lass you’re keeping all to yourself?”

  Keeping his patience under control, he answered calmly, “I am well, father, and frankly my personal life is none of your business.” Even though John sounded cool toward his father, he had every right to be. Anyone who didn’t know their situation would have thought John cruel with his words but they were acceptable considering their wretched past.

  Swallowing a sin
gle shot of cognac in one gulp, his father slammed the glass down on the bar and replied, “That’s my boy, always showing profound love for his father,” he said as his voice was rising in volume the longer he spoke. John saw it coming and so did Sally.

  “Don’t start,” John told him under vast restraint.

  Albert started to lunge forward at John but stumbled in the process, and as the dutiful son, John caught him before he reached the wooden floor.

  Sally stood behind John, asking him, “John, would you mind depositing him outside? I can’t afford another of his disturbances.”

  He returned a faint smile as he lifted his father up and over his broad shoulder. “Of course,” he answered. Humiliated once again, he found his father’s carriage and dumped him inside on the cushioned seat and was about to turn away when he heard his father mumbling a slurred reference.

  “So son, are you gonna share this lass like you did the other one?” Albert stretched his limbs to sit in a normal position, glaring at John with dire intent.

  Confusion ran through John’s agitated mind. He hadn’t a clue what his father was talking about. He never recalled sharing anyone with him. “What are you talking about?” John asked as he stepped closer to his father.

  Albert chuckled. “It appears I finally have my son’s attention.” Albert paused to hiccup. “She came willingly to me John, I didn’t force her.”

  John’s brows creased with added tension. “Who came to you?”