Cashmere and Camo

by Erin Nicholas

  “Noah.”

  He felt Brynn’s fingers curl into his lower back.

  “It was just the one time and Mom and Dad worked it out.”

  “But, that wasn’t on you,” Brynn said fiercely.

  “No, none of it was my fault,” he told her. He knew that. He’d never really blamed himself. “But I was the one there to fix it and clean it all up.”

  “So you wanted to get away and have some time to yourself,” she said. “I get that.”

  “Yeah. So I talked my buddy Jared into going with me. He wanted to just run this shop together, figured we could easily do it without a degree. And he was right, of course. But I talked him into going anyway. He got a scholarship and everything.”

  Brynn let the quiet stretch between them for several ticks. But finally, she said, “Mitch mentioned Jared the other day when he was here. Something about this truck.”

  That’s right. He had. Fucking Mitch. Noah nodded. “This was his baby. Was determined to fix it up and get it running.”

  “And you’ve kept it to remember him by?”

  Noah swallowed. “I kept it to remind myself that it’s easier to fix things right away rather than waiting. When things are neglected for a while, it’s a lot harder to get them…put back together.” And yes, that was true of trucks and people. And relationships.

  “What happened to Jared, Noah?” she asked softly.

  He knew that she realized it was something bad.

  “He was killed in a drunk driving accident just before Christmas break our freshman year.”

  Brynn sucked in a breath and he again felt her hand on his back, this time rubbing in little circles. “I’m so sorry.”

  He cleared his throat. “Me too. And that’s why I took off to the Marines. I couldn’t handle staying there, but I couldn’t deal with coming back either. I couldn’t look at this shop.” And his mom, he thought silently.

  “I get that.” She took a breath. “So you went and served four years. But you did come back.”

  Leaving was the most selfish thing he’d ever done in his life, but then he’d come back and tried to put things back the way they’d been. But they would never be the way they’d been again. Almost worse, people admired his service. Thanked him for it. He cleared his throat. “I got my head on straight and realized that Jared would be pissed at me if I didn’t come back and do what we’d dreamed of.” And if I left his mom all alone here.

  Again the quiet stretched between them, and Noah realized how much he loved that they could do that. They didn’t feel the need to fill every second. Brynn didn’t give him a bunch of platitudes. She just listened.

  He spread his fingers wide on her stomach, rubbing over the soft skin.

  Then he looked at the cat. He slowly slid his hand over Brynn toward Penn. The cat opened one eye. But he didn’t lift his head. Didn’t move. Noah reached for him, putting his hand gently on his head, then running it down his back.

  He’d almost forgotten how silky the cat was. He felt like a plush stuffed animal. And he still didn’t move. He didn’t arch into Noah’s hand. He didn’t start purring. But he didn’t pull away either.

  Noah couldn’t believe how good that felt. It was completely ridiculous to be that worked up over a cat. But, there it was.

  He stroked over Penn’s back as he asked Brynn, “The princess birthday in Orlando wasn’t the best one, was it?”

  She didn’t respond immediately. “No,” she finally said. “My favorite was when she rented out a bakery after hours, bought one of every single dessert they’d made that day, and we sat around, just the three of us, and stuffed our faces with fat and sugar.”

  “She didn’t just bake for you?” Noah asked. “She loves that stuff.”

  “She does. But that wouldn’t have been a big, elaborate, surprise event.”

  “Right.” Noah chuckled lightly and Penn lifted his head. “That’s Cori.”

  “It used to be,” Brynn agreed. “Evan’s given her… a foundation. A place to just be. She’s a lot more relaxed and content now.”

  Noah moved his hand off of the cat, needing to stroke someone else for a moment. He ran his hand over her stomach and then up between her breasts. Her breath hitched.

  “How did you know the one in Orlando wasn’t my favorite?” she asked.

  “Because it was big, and had lots of people, and involved sharing your sisters and their attention with an entire theme park,” he said. “You have always shared them with all the other people and activities they’ve got in their lives. You love the moments when you have them to yourself. Or at least quieter times with them.”

  “Oh.” The word was more of a sound.

  He looked up. She looked like she had tears in her eyes.

  She swallowed. “You might know me better than you think you do.”

  His heart squeezed so hard in his chest that he had to take a second before he could even nod. Yeah, maybe he did. “You’re different on game nights than you are at the pie shop or other bigger occasions.”

  “How am I different?”

  “You’re happier. Softer. More at ease.”

  She nodded. “You’re right. About all of that.”

  And that made him feel triumphant.

  Just before the cold realization hit him. He was getting too close. He was letting her know how he felt. If she was falling for him and realized that he was in love with her, she might start rethinking her plans. Her sisters were staying in Bliss. She was happy at the pie shop. Surely she would miss her lab, but the woman was a brilliant billionaire. She could figure out how to make it all work if she wanted to.

  He couldn’t let her want to.

  So, just after having sex with her for the first time—for her first time ever—he was going to lie in Jared’s truck, holding her naked body, and set up her next date.

  He swallowed hard. “So,” he said. “I was thinking that your next date should be at game night. That’s where you’re more comfortable, and it would be good for you to practice being with someone in a smaller, more intimate setting.”

  He felt her stiffen.

  Game night was almost sacred. It was the one thing the six of them did together. It would involve her sisters and their very-much-in-love boyfriends. It seemed almost sacrilegious to bring someone else in. Which made it the perfect thing to show her that he was still focused on the overall plan and goal first and foremost. Even if it hurt like a bitch.

  “Will you be there?” she finally asked.

  He looked up at her. “Of course.”

  “Will you be bringing a date?”

  He frowned. “No.”

  “Because we’ll have an odd number. And everyone else will be couples.”

  His frown grew deeper. There was no way she was dating some guy without him.

  And yes, that sounded weird.

  But it was true.

  “There are plenty of games we can play with an odd number,” he said, consciously working on not squeezing her as the tension ratcheted up in his body.

  “Fine,” she said, clearly trying to be nonchalant. “If you won’t feel awkward.”

  His arm tightened around her anyway. “I won’t feel awkward. Because there will only be two real couples.”

  Brynn pressed her lips together. Then finally nodded. “Fine.” She moved her arm out from under Penn. The cat gave a soft murr, but then stood and stretched. Brynn started to sit up.

  “Whoa, what are you doing?”

  “Probably time to go home,” she said.

  She pulled the top blanket with her as she got to her feet. Penn gave a meow and she bent to stroke his back once more. Then he gracefully jumped up onto the edge of the truck bed, walked along it, then slipped through the open driver’s side window. Brynn went to the end of the tailgate and jumped down without even looking back. Noah knew he should say something. Do something.

  But he really couldn’t. What would he say? I’m sorry you have to bring another guy to game night? Becau
se he was, definitely. But that wouldn’t do any good. She had to do it. He had to let her. Hell, he had to make her, if needed. And game night really would be the best choice. He’d be there. Her sisters would be there. It would be another type of date, but she would be more comfortable at home, doing something she enjoyed and…

  Noah blew out a breath and ran a hand over his face. Truthfully, game night was the best way to remind them both that neither of them should get too attached to the things they did together.

  No matter how much that might hurt.

  And he knew he had hurt her.

  He hadn’t meant to. Well, he had meant to at that moment. A little. For her own good. To remind them both of the ultimate outcome here. But he hadn’t meant for any of this relationship to get to the point where he could hurt her feelings at all. He had intended to keep his distance. Even while she’d dated. Which back at the beginning had seemed not only smart, but easy—at least, easier—than when it was really finally time. Yes, he’d been attracted to her the first moment he’d met her, but he met beautiful women all the time, and he didn’t take them under his wing and become their personal not-at-all-an-angel guardian.

  Noah gathered up his jeans and underwear and stepped into them. Brynn was getting dressed at the front of the truck, and he knew that she would feel too vulnerable if he joined her before she was covered up.

  He hated the idea she’d feel that way. Hell, he wanted to keep her naked pretty much forever. With him. Under him. Over him. But he’d known going in that he’d have to give this—her—up.

  He buttoned and zipped, then hopped down from the truck, taking time to refold the blankets and flip the tarp back over everything. His eyes landed on the tackle box that Jared had stored there the last weekend they’d fished together. Noah felt his throat and chest tighten. He hadn’t fished since that weekend. It had been eleven years.

  Giving things up didn’t seem to be getting any easier.

  He snapped the tarp, covering everything, and also signaling to Brynn he was almost done and would be coming around. The idea of her not wanting to talk to him was like a knife in his gut, but he wouldn’t blame her. He’d give her space. But he wouldn’t leave her alone entirely. Especially not when there were still more dates ahead.

  He’d felt protective of Brynn from the beginning. Even before he met her. Because of Rudy. So he’d intended to treat her like another little sister. But all of his intentions to not notice her long legs, or her gorgeous lips, or her sweet smile had been shot to hell, oh, about the time he’d looked out the diner window and seen her leaning against a limo next to her sisters. He’d finally admitted it the first time she’d walked into his garage, asked if she could just be here, and climbed up onto his truck.

  Now, however, he’d not only blown the she’s-like-a-sister-to-me thing, he’d also completely fucked up the idea of keeping his hands to himself and his own heart uninvolved.

  When he finally moved out from behind the truck, Brynn was dressed. He watched her cross to where she’d dropped her sweater. She bent and picked it up, turning to face him. As he came up to her, he saw that she was holding her sweater in one hand, and his dog tags in the other.

  Cashmere and camo. They didn’t really go together.

  He took his chain from her without a word. She pulled her sweater on and then pivoted on her heel and walked out to his truck. His other truck. The one that was going to take her home.

  But he steeled himself against all of the emotions. Including the regret that was lapping at the edges of his heart.

  Whether she liked it or not, this whole thing was like Cinderella at the ball. She was going out for the first time, dancing with a bunch of guys, and trying to figure out which one fit best. Like her slippers.

  And Noah was the commoner who was pulling her into dark corners of the ballroom for stolen kisses. Which was fine. As long as he sent her right back out there to the dance floor. It would be fun, it would ensure she felt like the sexy, powerful goddess that she was, and she’d eventually go on to bigger and better balls.

  But it would also be a good reminder that this common guy wasn’t going to be coming after her when she left this party. Even if she left a glass slipper behind.

  * * *

  “So we’ll do apple pie and marsala wine, ice wine with cherry, bourbon with chocolate for MJ, and what else?” Brynn asked, scribbling notes from where she was perched on the kitchen counter.

  Cori was finishing up the snacks and the “mystery punch” for game night, and Ava was washing eggs. Yes, chicken eggs. That she’d just gathered from Parker’s farm.

  That was by far the strangest thing Brynn had seen in a long time.

  “We could do Irish coffee with a chocolate pecan for something else rich.”

  “And how about moscato and strawberry pie?” Ava asked.

  Brynn rolled her eyes. Ava’s new obsession with strawberries was because of Parker’s greenhouse—and Parker himself— but she smiled and wrote it down. Ava being obsessed with something other than Carmichael Enterprises was really nice.

  As was how much her sisters liked her idea of the Ladies’ Night Out at the pie shop. They were coming up with a short menu of pies and liquors that would pair well with them for the evening.

  “Or you know, a light ale could go with the apple pie too,” Ava said.

  Cori shook her head. “The only pie beer goes with is pizza.” She turned to add a jar of something to the punch she was making, but she made sure that she blocked Ava and Brynn’s view as she did it.

  They were playing Guesstures tonight, and Cori was making everything a surprise…as in, they had to guess what they were eating and drinking.

  The snacks were little dough pockets that had a variety of fillings but all looked alike, so you wouldn’t know what you were getting until you bit into them. The punch was an interesting blue color and was a mixture of a bunch of undisclosed ingredients.

  Brynn couldn’t decide if she should stay far away from the punch… or drink a gallon of it. Ahead of time.

  She shook her head, focusing on her task. As she’d been doing for days. One thing at a time. One focus at a time. No daydreaming. No letting her mind wander. And fantasize…

  Frowning, Brynn added the ale to the list in spite of Cori’s protest. She’d ask Parker about it. He was the other chef in the family and while Cori had plenty of beer drinking experience, Brynn thought maybe Parker would have good input about how tastes mixed and paired. “I was also thinking about doing some drinks that are pie themed all by themselves,” she told her sisters. “Like the apple pie shots we’ve done here, or we could do a lemon meringue…kind of a lemon drop martini but with cream or something?”

  Cori turned. “Ooh, I like that. We could make our own limoncello for it. Oh, and we could use some of that lemon sherbet you love so much.”

  Instantly, Brynn felt her cheeks heat. Talk of her favorite ice cream took her back to Noah’s garage four days ago and everything that had happened there. Not that it took much to remind her of it. It hadn’t been far from her mind for even a few minutes. But she’d been trying not to think about it in mixed company. Because she figured it was very obvious what she was thinking about when she started blushing and having a hard time concentrating.

  It didn’t help that she’d been trying to squelch her nerves about tonight. This would be the first time she’d seen Noah since they’d made love. Had sex. Fucked. Whatever it had been. She hadn’t gone down to the shop for her afternoon break at all this week. For one, she had no idea how she could be with him and sit on that truck and not strip all of her clothes off and beg him to do it all over again.

  For another, she’d been busy. The shop had been doing steady business lately. People were realizing that dessert really did complete a meal, and now that they could smell the scent of vanilla and cinnamon and apples wafting through the doorway between the pie shop and the restaurant, it was hard to resist.

  And yes, there were still a larger-t
han-usual number of young, single men coming in.

  That didn’t mean she didn’t miss seeing Noah. She missed him almost too much. Which was the third thing that had kept her from the garage. The sheer need she felt to be there.

  That was alarming actually.

  Sex with him one time and she was completely smitten?

  Then again, she’d been pretty smitten to start with…

  “Hello? Brynn?”

  She shook her head and focused on Ava. “Um, yeah?”

  “So it was absolutely amazing? Big Sexy totally rocked your world? He was definitely the right one to lose your virginity to?” Cori asked.

  Brynn looked over at Cori. “You were asking me about Noah?”

  Ava grinned. “No. But that answers Cori’s questions.”

  Brynn sighed. “Yes, yes and yes,” she said. “Just to be clear.”

  “I’m so happy!” Cori exclaimed. “He’s the best for you.”

  Brynn felt like Cori had just jabbed her right in the heart. “He was the best to be my first,” she clarified. “But this is short-term. Just five more months.

  “Right,” Cori said.

  “Of course,” Ava agreed.

  She looked at her sisters. They were… a lot. Especially together. But they loved her. They didn’t let her make decisions or ask her opinion often, but they believed that’s how she wanted it. She’d let them think that. Because it was easier than asserting herself. And now she had only five months until they wouldn’t have to worry about her anymore.

  That thought took her breath away.

  Did Cori and Ava feel like Noah did about his sisters? Like she was an obligation?

  Very possibly.

  Coming to Bliss had brought them closer, as she’d hoped. But she was still letting them take care of her because it made them happy to do it. But did it? Or did it really just cause them to worry? And had she ever taken care of them?

  Her thoughts spun.

  Tonight was the first time she’d really contributed ideas to the pie shop other than…no, as she thought about it, she realized that all of the ideas from the pies to the cushions on the chairs, had come from her sisters. Yes, she and Noah had made the cushions, but it hadn’t been her idea.