Jackson's Girl: Being His Duology

by Charlie R. Love

  Grant turned sharply toward me. “What? No. No.”

  “I have.” I stopped walking and turned to him, prompting him to stop walking as well. “We haven’t hung out much since I got together with Jackson,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

  Grant shook his head and wrapped his arms around me. “You’re happy with him. I get it. You’re not happy very often, and it’s good to see you smile so much.”

  “But we hadn’t really talked and hung out where it was just the two of us. And I haven’t even thought about it.”

  Grant smiled. “It’s okay. I think you’ve always been in your own little world. You don’t mean to be careless when it comes to certain things, you just are. I know that. I’m not mad, Emily, and you shouldn’t feel bad. We can hang out this Friday.”

  “Of course,” I answered, moving in closer to him. I missed him. I hadn’t realized how much I missed those days with just Grant until he reminded me.

  I vowed to be a better friend.

  “And if you want, we can make it into a weekly thing.”

  I smiled. “Okay. Just you and me,” I said.

  He pulled me in tighter and kept walking until I found Jackson by his car, leaning against the hood.

  Jackson looked up when we got closer, and he kicked off the car and walked toward us.

  “Hi,” I said when he was close enough.

  He smiled, that devastating smile of his. “Hi.”

  Grant laughed and gently pushed me toward Jackson. “I’ll see you later, Emily. I have to leave for work, or I’m going to be late.”

  He nodded his head toward Jackson and swiveled around to his car. We both watched him leave.

  “You said Jerimiah works at the hospital?” Jackson asked.

  I nodded. “He’s a cardiologist.”

  “Why does Grant work if his family obviously have money?”

  “Grant and his dad don’t get along,” I replied.

  Jackson didn’t seem surprised. “Why is that?”

  I looked at him, my eyes squinting a little from the blinding sun. “He blames Jerimiah for his mom leaving.”

  “Why did she leave?” Jackson asked.

  “Jerimiah is a serial cheater.”

  “You don’t say,” Jackson said dryly.

  I shrugged. “I never really got the details. But before his mom left, things were really bad in his family. There was a lot of fighting and…” I shook my head. “Grant and I grew close because of it.”

  “He’s very protective of you,” Jackson said, his eyes warm. He had a soft spot for Grant.

  “I love him like my brother. He was the only family member I had… until you. And Aiden,” I said hesitantly.

  He nodded. “Yes. Family. And what a wonderful family our little group make.”

  I held out my hand, and he took it, pulling me toward him. “Home?”

  “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s go home.”

  “Oh, can we stop by my house first? I have to pack some more clothes.”

  “You can just pack all your clothes,” Jackson said, his voice somewhat muted, I strained to hear him. But I caught every word. When I didn’t say anything, he continued. “Not permanently. At least, not yet, anyway, because I know you’re not ready for that. But how about for now. Just to see where it goes.”

  I stared at him, my brows furrowed as I thought of my options. It seemed ridiculous to put up this façade any longer anyhow. I hadn’t slept in my own room in almost two weeks. Most of my essentials were at Jackson's house.

  Still, I fought to find a sensible answer, though, at this point, I wasn’t sure what that was. “Do you think we’re naïve?”

  He shook his head. “Why? Do you think that?”

  “It’s been so wonderful staying with you. I loved being with you day and night. Especially at night. I…”

  “Yes?”

  “I never felt safe in my own room. Even when it’s been my room since I was a baby. But with you, in your arms, and in that house? I feel invincible.”

  “Then come home with me, baby. I’ll live the rest of my life making sure you’ll always feel safe.”

  “People will take one look at us and say we’re just playing house.”

  “This isn’t play pretend for me. This is the real deal. You know that, don’t you?”

  When I didn’t answer, Jackson took a step closer to me. “Take the chance with me, Emily. Jump. We can’t live our lives with one foot still inside the door just because it’s safe. That’s no way to live, sweetheart. Jump with me. Have faith in me and in us.”

  His eyes pleaded with me, though he didn’t say any more. He stood there and took me in, looking very much like a man awaiting his faith, as if my answer had the power to bring someone as strong as him down onto his knees.

  And that was when I realized it did.

  I had the power to bring him down to his knees. And I was the only one who had that power. While I had one foot in the door, like Jackson had said, afraid to take another step and venture out into the real world, Jackson was embracing it all.

  He made himself vulnerable to me without hesitation, and he was asking me for the same thing.

  Couldn’t I give him that?

  We were young. So what? I want to go into battle with the mindset that victory was mine for the taking. I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. So I leaned up on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss. I wanted Jackson, and I wanted him no matter the consequences.

  “Yes,” I whispered against his lips.

  His eyes widened in shock. “Are you serious?”

  I nodded. “Yes? I want you. And I want to believe in us. And I want to feel invincible even when I’m not in your arms. I want to feel the kind of invincible Jackson Wright feels every morning when he gets up and tells the world he owns it.”

  He laughed, a happy, charming laugh, as he picked me up off the ground and spin us in circles.

  “Jackson!” I yelled, having been caught unprepared.

  “Come on. Let’s get you pack up, and we can go home.”

  28

  Past: Emily

  We got to my house in less than three minutes.

  Jackson opened my door and helped me out, a big smile on his lips. With how he was acting, you would think I’d just agree to give him the world.

  “Come on, I’ll help you pack.”

  “We have to be quiet. My dad is home.”

  Jackson frowned. “What will he say if he sees you carrying out half the contents in your room?”

  Jackson overestimated the amount of stuff I actually had. It would take me no more than twenty minutes to throw all my clothes in two bags.

  “He wouldn’t care,” I said, and that was the truth, no matter how much it hurt. Which brought me back to my decision. I knew I said yes, but were we moving too fast? And what happens when I no longer have this house as my safety net?

  “He’s probably asleep,” I told him.

  Jackson nodded, and we walked to my porch. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about this porch swing.”

  “What about it?” I asked absentmindedly, looking through my backpack for my keys.

  “Why do you still have it hung up when it’s clearly too broken to be fixed?”

  I shrugged. “That was my mom’s spot. My dad refuses to touch it, and the last time I climbed on it, the nail gave way under my weight. My dad got mad. He never tried to fix it, and I guess I was just too afraid to touch it again. It’s barely hanging on as is, I’m afraid of what would happen if I attempt to fix it.”

  “Jesus. How old were you when it happened?”

  “Not long after my mom died. Seven, I think Almost eight.”

  He seemed angry all the sudden, but I wasn’t sure why. Though I knew he wasn’t angry at me. I grabbed onto his forearm and tugged until he turned toward me. “Are you okay?”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m not okay. Your dad hasn’t done a good job taking care of you, but I promise you, I’m going to take care of you.”

  I
smiled. “I know. It’s fine. Besides, I don’t think the swing will last any longer. I’m actually surprised it still hanging on to this day.”

  He shrugged. “Let’s grab your stuff and get out of here.”

  “Okay.”

  As I predicted, my dad was asleep in his room. I could hear light snoring every so often.

  We packed up my things quietly, though I avoided Jackson’s eyes the whole time. It seemed ridiculous to be embarrassed about how scanty my wardrobe really was, but I was. Compared to Jackson, who seemed to have everything in abundance, it was hard not to see the real difference between us when it was staring at us in the face.

  I only needed two suitcases to fill up my stuff, everything else, I left behind. I figure if there was something I really needed, I could always come back.

  When we reached the front door, I hesitated.

  This had been my house for all of my life. And even as I lived most of my life planning on leaving this place, to have it finally happen sooner than I had anticipated didn’t sit well with me.

  “What wrong?” Jackson asked softly.

  “Should I leave a note for my dad?” I asked, avoiding his eyes. I didn’t want him to see the emotions running rampant on my face.

  Jackson was quiet for a second before he took me in his arms.

  “No,” he said firmly. “Don’t tell him you’re leaving, because this will always be your house. Your room. I know I asked you to move in with me, but that doesn’t mean you have to leave everything behind. If you decide you want to spend the night here, to come back to your old house, even if it is just for one night, I’ll understand. I’ll come back with you.” He cupped my chin and lifted my face until I was looking at him. “I go where you go. But where we go is essentially up to you.”

  My lips trembled. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “There’s nothing for you to thank me for. You’re the one who has given me the best gift anyone had ever given me.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “You.”

  I nodded. “Yes. I’m yours.”

  “Good. Are you ready to go home, baby?”

  “Yes.”

  The drive home was mostly made in silence. But with Jackson, the silence was comfortable.

  There was never any awkwardness between us. By the time we got back, the sun was setting, casting an orange glow over the horizon. Jackson got out and grabbed my bags, while I climbed out and waited for him at the hood of the car.

  I grabbed onto his arms, and we walked up to the porch. He looked at me before setting the bags down. But instead of unlocking the door like I had expected, he turned toward me held out his hand, fisted around something.

  I smiled and opened my palm, and he dropped something small in my hand. I looked at it.

  “When did you have this made?” I asked quietly.

  “Hmm, let’s see? Early Spring?”

  “Jackson, we started going out around that time.”

  “Okay, so maybe three weeks ago?”

  I didn’t know what to say. Was I overjoyed? Or overwhelm?

  “It doesn’t have to mean anything, Emily.”

  I bit my lips and stared down at the small object in my hand.

  It was the house key. But it wasn’t standard. It was a pretty shade of pink with the letter E engraved on the center of the head.

  “Okay,” I said. And I walked up to the front door and, for the first time, opened it.

  Jackson stood behind me, and when I turned back to face him, he was wearing a proud smile, as if I had done something far more important than unlocking the door.

  I rolled my eyes in exasperation and heard him chuckled as I walked into the beautiful house I get to call home. Placing my bag on the floor, Jackson walked over and picked me up. I squealed in surprised, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.

  “Are you hungry, babe?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Yes. Can we make pizza?”

  “Pepperoni?”

  “Do you have to ask?”

  He chuckled and walked us to the kitchen, setting me down on one of the barstools. I watched as he moved around the kitchen, grabbing the ingredients.

  When he got all the ingredients laid out on the counter, he turned to the fridge and pulled out a can of soda, placing it in front of me. “Thank you,” I said, opening it.

  He winked at me. “You’re welcome.”

  I sat there and watched Jackson cook. It may be my most favorite thing to do. I loved the way he cooks, with as much concentration and passion as he did anything else. I loved the precision and control he puts in every meal, making it some of the best meals I ever had.

  And I loved how much he loved cooking for me.

  One of his ways of taking me, he said.

  After he placed the finished pizza in the oven, he threw away my empty can of coke and helped me out of the chair.

  “Movie?”

  I hummed in approval as he led us out to the living room, dimming the lights.

  “I love this,” I said, moving in closer to him so that he could wrap his arms around me.

  “What’s that?”

  “I love these nights with you. I love staying in and watching you cook.”

  “You don’t like to go out much, do you?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “I like it just fine. I just prefer to stay in. Do you like to go out?” It was true that Jackson was more social than me. He had friends everywhere and always garner a lot of attention wherever he went. And unlike me, he was comfortable in his own skin. He was indifference toward the attention he received, which told me he never put much thought into it, but he was charming enough to draw people in without even trying.

  “I’m fine either way. I like being wherever you are,” he said, pulling me in closer.

  “You’re sweet.”

  He shook his head, a whimsical smile gracing his lips. “I’m telling the truth.”

  I shrugged. “I like being with you, too. But you know we don’t always have to hang out here. We can go out if you want. Or hang out with your other friends.”

  “What other friends?” he asked.

  “The ones you used to sit at lunch with before we went out,” I said.

  “I don’t have any other friends, Emily. Aiden is my only one.”

  “What?”

  He looked down, seemingly bashful. It was such an odd exppression on him. When he looked up and met my eyes, he shrugged. “They’re always there. But I don’t really talk to them outside of school. I honestly don’t care much about any of them.” He turned his body toward me. “So you see, you and I are very similar. We both don’t let many people in.”

  “You let me in,” I said.

  “You’re different.”

  “But you let me in so quickly, there wasn’t even any resistance.”

  He shrugged. “Like I said, you’re different.”

  I smiled and moved in closer to him until my lips were aligned with his. Then I kissed him. Though I rarely initiate in the physical aspect of our relationship, I was beginning to feel more comfortable doing so. Jackson made me like that. He made me confident in my ability to tempt him.

  I bit on his bottom lip before I let go.

  “Tease,” he whispered, his eyes still closed as he rested his forehead against mine.

  “You’re different, too.” I leaned back and opened my eyes to look at him. “You’re different. I never let anyone in except for Grant, but you make it impossible not to love you. “

  He smiled, his eyes soft. “I love you, too.”

  We spent most of the time sitting there. Sometime after, when the pizza was done, Jackson put in an action movie, and we stayed there and enjoyed the quiet night, though I vowed to try and be more social.

  For Jackson.

  The week, for the most part, was uneventful. Jude came back to school on Wednesday, quiet and broody. He wasn’t his loud and obnoxious self, but he wasn’t quiet either. From nothing more than whispers in the hallway, I
was able to catch on just how pissed off he was.

  He was planning something, and I didn’t like it one bit. Jackson didn’t share my concerns, though he did tell me I wasn’t allowed to walk to the school’s parking lot alone.

  I laughed and playfully tugged at his hair, which had grown long, and walked away. And to prove how cute I thought he was being, I specifically avoided him after school and walked out to his car alone.

  Jackson wasn’t amused, but there wasn’t anything he could do.

  Before I knew it, the week was over, and Friday came. As planned, Grant and I were to hang out for the day. I stood by my locker and waited for him, with Jackson standing next to me, talking to Aiden about something I couldn’t hear.

  Movements caught my attention, and I turned to see Courtney coming toward the boys. I eyed her warily, but for the most part, she ignored me.

  “Hi, Jackson. Hi, Aiden,” she cooed. I wasn’t sure who she was more interested in, but I found the whole thing amusing. Especially with how uncomfortable Jackson seemed all the sudden.

  Aiden was trying and failing to hold in his laugh, as he looked past Courtney and shot a wink my way.

  Jackson was unfortunate enough to be standing closest to her. I could almost see the cogs in her mind turning as she took a calculating step his way bringing them closer than before. I would have been jealous had Jackson not moved back right away, almost running into Aiden, who, at that point, wasn’t even trying to hide his laugh anymore.

  Jackson shot a panic look my way, but relaxed slightly when he saw the smile on my face.

  “What are you guys doing Saturday,” she asked, her voice especially sweet. It was nauseating.

  Aiden shrugged and leaned back against the wall. Jackson indicated toward me with his head. “Whatever my girl wants to do.”

  Courtney, who was forced to acknowledge me, turned and shot me a strained smile. “Well, Nathan is hosting a party this Saturday. You guys should come, it’ll be fun. There will be free beer and lots of opportunities to spread your horizon, if you know what I mean.”

  I shook my head at the blatant suggestion, and Aiden didn’t seem so amused anymore. Jackson opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. “That sounds fun.”