by Rylee Swann
He shakes his head, bends to my ear while maintaining the same steady pace. “I’m going to stay in you as long as possible. Just like this. Giving you every ounce of pleasure I can.”
I gasp out a shuddering, “God…”
He chuckles. “I’ll come eventually. You’ll come a third time. Everything good happens in threes.”
Jayson takes me to the gates of heaven more times than I can count, exhausting me, thrilling me, electrifying me. I marvel at his stamina, his restraint, and his willpower.
He licks my lips with his tongue, whispers into my ear, “You feel so good. I never want this to end.”
I gawk at him. “I love you, Jayson, but I think you might be killing me.” Between gasps, I ask, “Please come for me?”
He thrusts deep and holds himself there. The tendons of his neck stand out like braided rope with the effort. The muscles of his arms shake slightly on either side of me as he holds himself up. “Come with me.”
He resumes thrusting, but harder, faster now. Stoking the fire into a roaring inferno. I come, screaming, my nails digging into his back as his face twists into a rictus of pained pleasure while emptying into me.
After a moment, he collapses beside me, cupping a breast like he can’t lose contact with me. “My god, what you do to me.”
I smile as best I can through my panting. Rolling onto my side, I trace patterns on his hard, sweaty chest. “What now?”
He nods, squeezes my breast until I moan. “My sister agreed to go to rehab. I’m going to take care of the details to get her there. Then we can go home to start planning our trip to St. Louis.”
It’s hard to concentrate with his palm causing such delightful friction against my hardening nipple. “That’s great. I’m glad to hear it about Carrie.” He gazes at me like he’s waiting for more. What did I miss? I replay his words in my head. “Wait, what? Since when are we going to St. Louis?”
“I thought it would be fun to honeymoon there. You know, since it’s sort of where we met. In a virtual way.”
My mouth drops open. “What? Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself?”
He comes up on his side to face me. “We are getting married, aren’t we?”
I shove his shoulder with my hand. “Cocky, aren’t you?”
He laughs then turns serious. “I promise that I will ask you again in a more romantic way than this, when the two of us aren’t naked after amazing and crazy monkey sex but for now… Dee, will you marry me?”
A gigantic smile spreads across my face and I nod. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Jayson!”
I throw myself into his arms and we kiss to seal the promise.
Epilogue
December
Six months later…
We do go to St. Louis on our honeymoon. We laughed as we made the arrangements, sharing memories as they came to us, like we’d really been to St. Louis rather than the virtual one we created in our online fantasies.
I eagerly changed my writing schedule and moved a couple of deadlines. Jayson cleared the dates with his job. His manager agreed despite his sudden disappearance back to Canada. Once Jayson explained why he’d rushed back home, everyone at his job were more than sympathetic, reminding me again of how wonderful Upstate life is. That wouldn’t have flown in the city and he’d have found himself on the unemployment line.
We stayed at the Four Seasons for the first three nights. Our room on the top floor with a wall of windows overlooked the Gateway Arch. It was stunning, awe-inspiring and the perfect backdrop to our lovemaking. If we left the room at all, I don’t recall.
Too soon, we bid the Four Seasons farewell and moved on to the Drury Inn. Located inside Forest Park where Jazmine and Darian met, I couldn’t wait to get to this hotel. To walk the paths surrounding it and experience in real life that particular scene of the crime.
Little do I know, after all these years, the new and improved sober Jayson 2.0 could still surprise me. And, caught completely off guard, wow, does he ever.
“Do you think this is the path where we met?” I’ve asked this question four or five times already as we’ve traversed the many trails of Forest Park. Jayson walks at a sedate pace while I prance like an overeager puppy beside him.
He smiles but shakes his head. “No, not this one either. I’ll know it when I see it.”
It’s just coming up on dusk and the view of the waterways of Post-Dispatch Lake is spectacular. Frogs serenade us and the quacking of ducks brings smiles to both our faces. Today is Thursday, and Jayson made a point to plan our foray into the park on this day. He reminded me—not that I’d forgotten—that our very first phone call was on a Thursday.
Earlier today, we visited the St. Louis Zoo, also in Forest Park. We enjoyed the antics of penguins, peered up at giraffes, and I was thrilled to catch a glimpse of a couple of tigers napping in the afternoon sun. We laughed with hyenas and cheered along with the rest of the crowd at the sea lion show.
When we passed by the Art Museum, where in our virtual world the vampires ruled, I burst into laughter and Jayson joined me. We took a selfie on the steps to immortalize the moment. Throughout the day, Jayson held my hand, kept me close—like we were married or something. Every time I remembered that we were married, I’d get an attack of the warm fuzzies.
Now, he lets go of my hand to consult a map. It’s much needed since Forest Park is bigger than Central Park, which blew my mind when Jayson showed me. “Okay, we’re coming up on the Boathouse. The concierge at the hotel said there’s a spot on the north side that’s perfect to watch the sunset. She said it’s a more secluded spot.”
“Great, so no one will know when the sun sets and the vampires get us.” I’ve been teasing like this on and off since we got to St. Louis but I can tell from Jayson’s expression that he’s not tiring of it. Not yet anyway.
“Nut.” He chuckles and points ahead. “I believe it’s that path.”
Ahead, a trail disappears under a canopy of pine trees.
“C’mon, let’s go! I don’t want to miss it!”
“We have a little time,” he says, but it’s too late.
I’m already trotting off. I do glance back, happy that he’s picking up his pace.
Once I’m beneath the cover of the trees, the forest floor is springy under my feet from a beautiful blanket of pine needles. Going a little farther, the lake comes into view, eliciting a gasp from me as I take in the sheer beauty of the area. I keep going, seeking the, so far, elusive perfect spot to watch the sun set, when I come upon a large red-checkered blanket set up with all the fixings of a romantic picnic. There’s an actual picnic basket and even two long taper candles in silver holders beside two settings of fine china.
I’m disappointed, and turn to tell Jayson, but he’s standing right behind me. Apparently, he caught up while I wasn’t paying attention. “It looks like we’re intruding.”
He has a big, goofy grin on his face. “I don’t think we are.”
“Huh?” I take a few more steps forward, almost to the edge of the blanket, but don’t find anyone. Weird.
I turn back to Jayson to express my confusion and again, find him right behind me, but not standing. This time he’s down on one knee looking up at me. In his hand is a small black ring box.
Ohmigod!
At last, everything clicks in my head. He set this up. This is for us. For me. He must see the lightbulb go on over my head and nods with a smile. He reaches out a hand, I meet him halfway, and we connect in a moment that is warm, intense, magical.
“I promised you that I’d ask a very important question in a better way than after a sweaty session of lovemaking. You said yes the first time, and even though we now share a last name, I wanted to do this for you. So you’d have a better story to tell.”
I’m shaking. In my wildest imagination, I couldn’t have come up with something more romantic than this. The sun is just kissing the surface of the lake and an orange, yellow, and purple sunset sky bleeds through the canopy of
trees above us. A picnic awaits. I’m standing on a bed of pine needles with the man I love on bended knee before me. Tears turn the scene into a shimmering oasis of joy.
“Oh my god.” This time, I say it aloud. My amazed thoughts spilling out into words.
He squeezes my hand, his eyes shining and filled with love. “December Amy Jagger, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
I try to still my shaking and swallow hard. I don’t want to turn into a blubbering mess in the middle of the most beautiful moment of my life. “You are a very sneaky man. Yes, oh yes, I’ll marry you, Jayson Fox. Yes!”
I start to bend down as he stands. We meet in the middle, laughing and kissing, my arms wrapping around his back as his snake around my waist. His lips are warm, soft, commanding against mine. I open my mouth to him and our tongues connect, his dancing around mine. All too soon he pulls away. He looks back the way we came, and raising an arm, waves it in a large arc.
I peer into the murky depths of the woods, spotting movement. I turn back to Jayson, a question in my eyes and on my lips. “What was that about?”
“I hired a photographer. I thought you might want to have a record of this moment. That was the signal. We’re alone now.” He bends to retake my lips but I pull back, stunned.
I look up into his eyes. “You thought of everything. Who are you?”
“Yours,” he says, and kisses me.
I couldn’t ask for a better answer.
Jayson
Three Months Later…
My soulmate and I are finally together, and it’s forever this time. It was a hell of a long road to get here but it was all worth it.
I made so many mistakes, learned from them, and pressed forward while always keeping my eye on the prize: December. I’m making her happy now, and that’s all I ever wanted to do. Even when I wasn’t capable of it. Even when I was too sick to know better, I quietly berated myself for my inability to do the one thing that was most important—be selfless when it came to Dee.
Thank god all of that is behind us now.
Despite my failings, I managed to give her a marriage proposal worthy of how amazing the woman is. Something she’ll remember forever, especially when I’m being an ass. I have my moments, that’ll never change. Just ask Dee. I promised her imperfection, and I wouldn’t want to lie about that. If she knew what I was thinking right now, she’d call me an ass, so, mission accomplished. Truly, I am an ass. But a well-meaning one.
If nothing changes from this day forward, I would be the happiest man alive. Yet, I know there’s one more thing that would make us even happier. The thing is, Dee and I finally came together later in life. I’m not sure the two of us could make that scenario happen, no matter how much fun we had trying. And, I don’t want to put her through that. It’s a hard road to go down.
Not very long after I started having these thoughts, the Universe provided, as Dee would say. One of my kids that I counsel called. On the phone, a sixteen-year-old and very pregnant, Angi cried to me, panicking about her decision to keep the baby. She insisted she’d made a mistake. She simply could not offer the child the life it deserved.
She was terrified, but I wanted to be sure it wasn’t momentary cold feet and met with her several times to discuss the situation. Each session Angi stood firm, and didn’t change her mind about not keeping the baby. I had the solution. I didn’t let Angi in on it yet, not wanting to get her hopes up. I had to talk to Dee first. Then I started to worry about how that would go.
In the early, drunk days of my relationship with Dee, I’d expressed on several occasions my desire to have a child. I wanted one but thought I’d be a terrible father. In all my “want a kid” ramblings, Dee made it clear she wasn’t interested. She seemed to be lacking the maternal instinct that would necessitate having one. At the time, I wondered about it but paid her words no heed. I never thought I’d live long enough to get there. I figured I’d kill myself with drugs or alcohol before the possibility of having a kid became a thing.
So, today, it’s time to broach the subject once again in as delicate a way as I can manage. At dinner, with the TV on in the background and Mac chasing his tail like he’s still a rampaging puppy. In other words, utter chaos, which is often how Dee describes life with me anyway.
She’s sitting across the kitchen table from me, happily devouring the meatloaf I’ve prepared. It’s one of the few meals I can make palatable enough to digest, and she loves it. Dee steamed the vegetables and made the salad. I’m a one-trick meatloaf cowboy.
“This never gets old,” she says after gulping down a few sips of bottled water.
I glance up from my plate where I’ve been contemplating how to begin the Angi conversation. “What doesn’t get old?”
She grins and licks ketchup off her lip. I’m almost instantly hard and silently beg my cock to behave for a change. “Your meatloaf.”
I smile, watching her stab the last bite on her plate with her fork. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”
“I am.” She says it like she’s making a grand pronouncement, and I marvel for the millionth time how adorable she is. She chews for a moment then waves her fork at me. “You’ve been quiet. Is everything okay?”
She knows me so well. “Yeah, I guess. Work stuff.” I pick up my can of pop and polish it off.
“Wanna talk about it?” She gets up, opens the fridge and pulls out another can of pop. Setting it down in front of me, she smiles. She hates how much pop I drink but she also knows I could still have a much worse habit.
She’s given me the opening I need, not that I was manipulating her into it. I’ve just been having a hell of a time bringing this up. I want her to say yes. I dread her being so monumentally opposed to the idea that it ends right here, right now in this moment.
I take the can and pop it open, letting it breathe like it’s some kind of fine wine. “Have I ever mentioned Angi to you?”
“Yeah, the pregnant girl who lives with her aunt. I remember.”
“She has a serious case of cold feet.”
Dee’s eyes widen. “She’s marrying the father? Aren’t they both too young?”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” She tilts her head, curious, while I take a sip of pop. I’ve acquired a dry throat all of a sudden. “She’s terrified of having the baby.”
“Ohhh.” Dee’s expression saddens. “That’s kind of understandable, though, right? She’s only what? Fifteen?”
“Sixteen.”
“Yeah, that’s young to have a kid. Hell, I’d be terrified too.” She stabs a piece of celery and contemplates it for a moment before popping it into her mouth. “What have you been telling her?”
“Well, for the past few weeks I’ve been making sure that she means what she says. About giving up the baby, I mean.” We’re getting to the crux of it now and my heart is thumping noticeably.
Dee favors me with one of her sweet smiles. “You’re a good man, Charlie Brown. So, what was the final outcome?”
I sigh and take another sip of my drink. I am honestly sad for Angi. One night, one mistake changed her life forever. She’s been tearing herself in two over this decision and it’s been hard to watch. “She wants to finish high school. She wants to go on to college. She loves art. Her drawings are very good and they could be great with the proper tools. Her aunt has scrimped and saved to give her an education.”
Dee reaches across the table and places her hand on mine. “It’s okay. I know where you’re going with this.”
No, you don’t.
“There’s no room in Angi’s life for a baby. She knows she can’t give it the chance it deserves.” I clear my throat and steady my gaze on Dee’s eyes. “I’d like to try…for us to try.”
Confusion clouds her beautiful light brown eyes. She shakes her head in an attempt to understand. “What are you saying?”
It’s time to hit her head-on. One word. Damn, this means a lot to me. “Adoption.”
She smiles like I’m joking. I kee
p my expression serious to show her I’m not. A slow dawning removes her confusion, only to be replaced with fear. “What…? We can’t…I mean…”
I jump in so she can’t finish her negative thoughts. “We’d foster first. Take care of an infant whose mother can’t. Go through all the red tape. All the applications, inspections, hoops to be jumped.” I turn my hand over and take hers in mine. Try to give her strength through our connection. “This would mean the world to me.”
“Because you were adopted.” She nods, chewing on her lower lip. Her understanding of exactly why this means so much to me settling on her shoulders.
I don’t want the weight on her. “Yes, that’s part of it but, Dee, listen to me. If you say no, I will love you as much as I ever have. My love for you will continue to grow with each day as it has been. All I’m asking of you now is to consider this. Think it through. Don’t let fear cause you to give a knee-jerk answer.”
I push my chair away from the table and stand. Coming around to her side, I take her hands and bring her to her feet. Envelope her in a warm, loving embrace.
“You’ve put up with so much from me. And now, I demand even more. Whatever the decision, we’ll make it together. Just know that my love for you is unconditional.”
Seven months later…
Today is Jade’s birthday. Well, her half birthday. Only six months old and already a maneater. No one can deny that precocious smile, those gigantic blue eyes, that infectious giggle. I’m going to die a thousand deaths watching this little angel grow up.
Dee and I bought a house as soon as we got okayed to foster Angi’s baby. With my salary and Dee’s impressive income from her books, we were able to purchase just what we wanted—a two-story, five-bedroom home with a mancave for me and a pool in the backyard for her. She also has an office for her writing that overlooks the Catskill Mountains. It’s her dream come true. I once upon a time told her that the dream was for us to write all day and make love all night. I’m a decent writer but not anywhere near Dee’s level. I do, however, give her all the lovemaking she can handle. Although, with the addition of a crying baby, neither of us has been much in the mood lately. That’s okay, it won’t last forever, and we catch up when we can.