by Kristi Gold
“He has no real concept of love. I, too, have come to realize that it is better not to put too much stock on those emotions. I have preferred to live my life through logic.”
Karen’s hope began to fade, replaced by her own need for self-protection. “I guess love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Who needs it, right?” She did.
At first Karen thought she’d only imagined the sudden change in Ash when his hold seemed to loosen around her. But when he unexpectedly rolled onto his back, away from her, she knew she wasn’t imagining it at all.
“Did you love him?” he asked.
“My father?”
“Your ex-fiancé.”
Karen thought she had at one time but obviously she’d been mistaken. She’d never entertained the same feelings for Carl that she now had for Ash. Feelings she had best put aside. “I think my relationship with him had as much to do with convenience as caring, although I did believe I cared for him at one time. We lived in a small town with few prospects and at the time I thought he was offering a good deal. But when I finally realized he wanted to own me, I backed out.”
“In what way did he try to own you?”
“I wanted to open my own design business and he preferred that I stay home and be a rancher’s wife. I couldn’t live with a man who ignored my dreams.”
Another stretch of silence suspended the conversation until Ash finally asked, “What dreams do you have, Karen?”
At least he had bothered to ask. Carl never had. “I want to have a happy, healthy child.” I want you to love me. The thought vaulted into Karen’s brain and only then did she realize how much she wanted his love. But if Ash had closed himself off to the possibility, chances were that wasn’t going to happen.
“How about you?” she asked, trying not to sound too dejected. “What dreams do you have?”
“I prefer to think of them as goals, not dreams. Many I have already obtained in business. I hope to provide a stable home for our child, with two parents who work together to make certain that happens.”
The response was almost void of emotion, and Karen’s hope died completely. He hadn’t said he wanted more than a partnership. He hadn’t even hinted at love.
Karen rested one arm over her eyes and tried to fight back the tears for the second time tonight. Then to her surprise, Ash picked up her hand resting at her side and twined his fingers with hers. He lifted it to his lips for a gentle kiss then said, “May you have pleasant dreams tonight, Karen.”
She wouldn’t, that much she knew, because the dream of having a real marriage, something she had never thought to consider when he had entered her life, was starting to disappear.
“Are you Karen Saalem?”
For the second time in as many days, Karen again confronted a stranger only this time the stranger stood at her front door and happened to be a man. A tall, lean man, strikingly handsome with shocking blue eyes that contrasted with his dark hair. He wore a tailored navy suit and a stoic expression that said he meant business. Since Karen didn’t recognize him, she automatically assumed he was there to see Ash. But Ash had left that morning for a few appointments, so the guy was out of luck. After Ash’s declarations last night, Karen feared so was she.
“If you’re looking for my husband, he’s not available at the moment.”
“I’m here to see you.”
Karen frowned. “Okay. And you are?”
“Steven Conti.”
Great. Just what Karen needed this morning—Maria’s lover on her doorstep probably armed with questions she wasn’t prepared to answer. She gave him a polite smile instead of offering her hand. He didn’t look as if he was in the mood for pleasantries. “What can I do for you?”
He rubbed his neck with one palm and released a harsh, weary sigh. “I need to speak with you about Maria.”
As she’d suspected. Karen considered telling him she was busy but decided there wasn’t any use putting off the inevitable. Besides, he looked as if he could use a good listener, and that was all she intended to do—listen.
Karen stepped aside and gestured toward the foyer. “Come in.” After leading him into the living room, she pulled the drop cloth from the sofa and said, “Have a seat.”
“I don’t want to sit,” he said. “I want to know where Maria is.”
She faced him and wrung her hands. “Maria is on vacation.”
“I don’t believe it. I suspect her family found out about our relationship and sent her away to prevent us from being together.”
At least Karen could tell him this much. “That’s not true, Steven. Maria left of her own accord.”
“Then you know where she is.”
She hated that she had to withhold the truth, considering his obvious distress. But her vow of secrecy to Maria took precedence over his problems. “I promise she’s safe. She needed some time to think things through. That’s all.”
“I have to know where she is. I have to talk to her.”
“I can’t tell you that. I promised Maria I wouldn’t.”
He forked his fingers through his dark hair and pinned Karen with angry eyes. “What about me? Do you think it’s fair that she left me only a note without any explanation other than she needed time away?”
The abject pain in his voice cut Karen’s heart to the quick. “It doesn’t matter what I think. I have to respect Maria’s wishes.”
“Whether you tell me or not, I’m going to find her, no matter how long it takes. But you could make it easier on me by telling me where she is now.”
“I wish I could, but I can’t.”
Steven clasped Karen’s arms and she saw up close and personal the extent of his anguish. “I’m asking you to please reconsider. I’m asking you to have some compassion.”
“And I am asking you to unhand my wife.”
Steven dropped his hands and they both turned to see Ash standing in the den’s entrance, his arms folded across his chest. Dressed in a suit and the traditional kaffiyeh, he looked formally businesslike, except for the menacing glare aimed at both Karen and Steven.
Steven put up his hands, palms forward. “Look, I don’t want to cause any trouble here. I have enough of my own.” He pulled a card from his jacket pocket and handed it to Karen. “Call me if you change your mind.”
Steven brushed past Ash on his way out of the room, muttering “Sorry” and leaving Karen alone to face Ash’s anger, and her own.
When she heard the front door close, she turned that anger on Ash. “What was that all about?”
“I believe I should be asking that question. What is your relationship with that man?”
“It doesn’t involve you.”
He took a step forward. “I see a stranger with his hands on my wife and this does not involve me?”
Karen braced her hands on her hips. “Do you really think I’d let some stranger into the house?”
“If he’s not a stranger, then who is he?”
She had no choice but to tell him. “Steven Conti, Maria’s lover.”
Ash didn’t seem all that shocked by the revelation but he definitely seemed angry. “What did he want with you?”
“He wanted me to tell him Maria’s location, which, of course, I couldn’t because of my promise to Maria. So you can just calm down.”
“How was I to know that he was not threatening you?”
Karen released a bark of a laugh. “If you hadn’t been so determined to jump to conclusions, you would have noticed that Steven is in a lot of pain. He’s totally lost without Maria.”
Ash’s features softened, but only slightly. “I only know that I saw some strange man with his hands on my wife.”
“Well, now you know the truth.” Karen tossed the card onto the end table and the drop cloth back over the sofa. “I don’t appreciate you storming in here like some superhero determined to come to my rescue.”
“When I came upon you, I could only consider that—” He looked away. “It does not matter.”
; Karen experienced a sharp sense of awareness and a little nip of satisfaction. “Were you jealous, Sheikh Saalem?”
His gaze zipped back to her. “Jealousy is an imprudent emotion. My concern was with your safety.”
“I suppose you could be right. You didn’t seem at all jealous the other night over the prospect that some sailor could be watching us make love.”
His eyes went dark as midnight. “That was only fantasy, Karen. Had I known that some man had seen you naked, I would have been tempted to do him bodily harm.”
“Oh, really?” She folded her arms and smiled. “And you’re not jealous? I suppose that would be beneath a strong, emotionless prince like yourself.”
He raked the kaffiyeh from his head and hurled it across the room. “I reacted as a man, not as a prince.”
“A man who was concerned with his wife’s safety, I know.” Karen strolled to the club chair, sat and pulled her legs beneath her. “Of course, any normal husband might be a little jealous considering that Steven Conti is a very attractive man. But since this marriage is in name only, I certainly understand why that wouldn’t enter your mind.”
Ash took a stalking step forward. “What do you want from me, Karen?”
“The truth.”
“What truth?”
“That you wondered if maybe I had taken another lover, unlike the sea captain’s devoted wife. That maybe you had some doubts that you haven’t been giving me everything I need so I decided to turn to someone else.”
He braced his hands on the chair’s arms on either side of Karen. “Have you not found my attentions satisfactory?”
“You’ve been a very considerate lover.”
“Considerate?” Ash leaned closer, only inches from her mouth. The tension hung thick between them, their eyes locked together and their bodies in close proximity. “Obviously I have failed if that is how you wish to describe our lovemaking. Perhaps I should endeavor to prove to you that I am capable of more than consideration.”
Karen knew all too well that if she threw down the proverbial gauntlet, Ash would be more than willing to take it up. Maybe there wasn’t much wisdom in that considering what he’d told her last night, but she couldn’t deny that she still wanted him in a very elemental way, even if she couldn’t have his love. “Go ahead, prove it.”
He pushed away from the chair. “I would be glad to prove it if I were assured you were feeling up to it.”
Karen glanced at his now distended fly. “Obviously you are quite up to it.”
“My current condition does not take precedence over yours.”
She sent him a challenging look. “I’m personally feeling quite well.” She pulled the sweatshirt over her head and tossed it onto the floor, leaving her clad in a black lace bra and jeans. “Do you care to find out for yourself how I’m feeling?”
Karen saw the indecision as well as the desire in his eyes, but he remained motionless. At least he hadn’t run away.
After slowly lowering the zipper, she wriggled out of her jeans and dropped them on the floor to join her sweatshirt. She felt really, really wicked and very determined to get his attention through whatever means necessary. She decided she did have his attention when he visually followed the movement as she traced the lace band below her navel with a fingertip. “Are you absolutely, positively sure you’re not interested?”
Ash tore his jacket away and sent it sailing across the room, startling her. Karen wasn’t surprised when he pulled her up into his arms, expecting him to carry her into the bedroom. She didn’t expect him to seat her on the drop-cloth-covered sofa and yank her panties away. And she definitely wasn’t prepared when he fell to his knees, parted her legs and began a sensual assault with his mouth.
With every pass of his soft, abrading tongue over her susceptible center, Karen felt as if she might fall into some carnal abyss, never to return. With every slide of his finger deep inside her, she came closer and closer to calling out from the sheer pleasure of it all. But she didn’t dare stop him, nor could she halt the explosive climax that claimed her with steady waves of pure bliss.
Ash rose and stared down at her with eyes as intense as his intimate kiss. “Was I considerate enough?”
Karen took a few moments to catch her breath. “Oh, yes, very considerate.” She came to her knees and tugged away his belt then lowered his zipper. “But it seems to me that you could use a little consideration, too.”
After she freed him, Karen let go of her inhibitions and took him into her mouth. He molded her scalp with his large palms and let her explore his length with her lips, her tongue, but only for a short time before he framed her head in his hands and pulled her away.
“Enough.”
She looked up at him with a grin. “Are you sure?”
“No.” He joined her on the sofa in a rush and after kicking his slacks and briefs away he took her down onto the cushions and entered her with a deep thrust.
He kissed her thoroughly as he moved inside her in an erotic tempo. He fondled her breasts through the lace of her bra then suckled her through the fabric. It was as if they fed each other, consumed by a desire that knew no limits. As if the passion between them took on a life of its own and nothing could prevent it from taking control.
Ash braced his palms on either side of her and rose up on straightened arms, taking most of his weight from her. “Am I being considerate enough?”
“You’re doing okay.” But she wasn’t at all okay. She ached for him, ached from a love that she hadn’t welcomed at all. She tugged him back into her arms, against her sprinting heart, as the steady pace he had kept took an almost frantic turn.
Karen was vaguely aware of the sound of a truck’s engine shutting down, the opening and closing of doors. Realization that the work crew had arrived only heightened the tension. “Hurry,” she said in a harsh whisper.
He raised his head, his face showing the strain of his impending climax. “No.”
“The workers are here and I unlocked the—”
Ash cut off her words with another electrifying kiss and again Karen was lost, not caring who might find them, not caring about anything but Ash’s powerful body and his remarkable stamina.
When she heard the back door open, Ash brought her legs around his waist, touched her again and she came completely apart. He buried his face in her neck and shuddered forcefully in her arms.
The sound of footsteps forced Karen back into reality. At least the louvered doors to the kitchen were closed, affording some privacy. She worked her way from beneath Ash, grabbed her jeans and sweatshirt from the floor but after a harried visual search couldn’t find her underwear. Figuring some clothes were better than none, she yanked on her pants and shirt.
“Are you looking for these?”
Karen glanced up to find Ash dangling her black lace panties from one finger. She snatched them from his hand and stuffed them into her back pocket. “Get dressed,” she hissed. “They’re liable to come in here at any moment.”
Ash looked over his shoulder toward the opening leading to the kitchen. “If they do not have the decency to knock, then my state of undress should not come as any surprise.”
Karen almost smiled as she studied his state of undress, the now totally wrinkled tailored shirt covering him from the thighs up, his tie hanging askew, his dark, thick hair a total mess. He looked sexy as hell, but this was no time for Karen to stand and gawk at him.
She grabbed his pants and briefs from the floor and flung them at him. “Put these on. You might not be concerned with your reputation, but I have to work with these guys.”
Ash complied, slowly rising from the sofa, taking his sweet time putting his slacks back on. Karen adjusted her clothing, pulled a cloth band from her pocket and piled her hair into a ponytail.
Although they were now somewhat presentable, Karen assumed that if anyone happened to come into the room he would immediately know what had transpired only moments before by the guilt on her face.
T
hen the foolishness of what she had done bit into her. She’d given in to her own needs, his sensual lure, knowing what it would do to her emotionally. What it would continue to do to her if she kept allowing it to happen. She had to remember that this had nothing to do with love, at least on Ash’s part. Had to remember that every time he made love to her, he staked a claim to another piece of her heart and soon there would be nothing left.
“This is not supposed to be this way between us,” Karen muttered.
Ash paused from tucking his shirt into his waistband. “How is it supposed to be?”
“We said we were going to keep this relationship platonic.”
“You said as much, Karen, not me. And what of the other night when you claimed we would share in more of these moments?”
“I’ve changed my mind.” He had changed it when he’d told her he was incapable of loving again. “I shouldn’t be asking you anymore.”
He stepped forward and took her hands into his. “Yet you keep asking me. Am I wrong for answering you? Am I to be strong enough for us both?”
She had been wrong to start believing that maybe he was able to love her. Wrong to believe that more could exist between them beyond passion.
Karen pulled her hands from his. “You’re right. It is my fault. But our intimacy only complicates everything. It’s important to me to stay in control of my life.”
“I have no intention of owning you, Karen, unlike your ex-fiancé. I only want to take care of you and our child.”
Again he’d failed to mention having any feelings for her. “I don’t need to be protected.” I need your love. “And this isn’t just about my relationship with Carl. A few months ago my whole life was totally out of control. I can’t let that happen again.”
“You continue to misjudge my motives. Everything I have done has been out of concern for your welfare.”
But not because of his love for her, Karen realized. “We need to remember that we both entered into this arrangement knowing it wouldn’t be permanent.”
“So you believe,” he murmured as he moved across the room, picked up his jacket and folded it over one arm. “Then perhaps we should begin acting as if that were the case. I cannot do that with you in my bed. I am not that strong.”