Few Things Left Unsaid

by Sudeep Nagarkar

  ‘Mom, do you really like Riya?’ I asked her when I reached back home. I wanted to know the truth.

  ‘Yes I like her. I think she is the only girl who can reform you. However, as I said before, studies are the first priority.’

  I had got the best gift from my parents on my birthday. Riya. My Jaan.

  Special Moments

  I reached college by 10 am the next day. Riya had messaged me in the morning saying that she would be late due to some household work. The second lecture had begun. Riya was still at home. She messaged me to come to her home. I was surprised. I knew there was no one else at her house. When the lecture got over, I left college and reached her gate.

  ‘Hey, shall I come inside? What if the watchman asks me for my identity card or something’? I asked her over the phone.

  ‘He won’t say anything. Just come inside,’ she said and hung up.

  I went inside and rang the doorbell. She came running and opened the door. I entered her house and saw Amit and Neha already seated there. Not again, I said to myself. They were having chips. Now wasn’t that oily? Fools will be fools. I went straight into the kitchen and Riya joined me.

  ‘What is this? What are these two doing here?’

  ‘They are here to celebrate your birthday. I had called Neha in the morning and told her what had happened yesterday. So she said she would get Amit along so we could all celebrate your birthday together.’

  ‘That’s ridiculous. It was my birthday. Why did these two want to celebrate it? And if they wanted to celebrate, who the hell was giving them a party?’

  ‘Please Aadi… they are nice. Let’s go outside,’ Riya said pulling my shirt’s collar.

  They wished me belated happy birthday. They looked nice together as a couple. But I was insecure in their company. I felt left out.

  Riya was in the kitchen preparing something to eat. Neha also went inside and this made me even more irritated. I was alone sitting with Amit. We were watching TV. I did not talk to him. He did not try talking to me either. We did not even look at each other. He was kind of reserved and so was I. Moreover, I hated him. I wanted to be alone at my girlfriend’s house and there he was, sitting in front of me in her house like she was his girl friend.

  He asked me for water. I looked at him but did not oblige. I wanted to tell him that this was ‘my’ Riya’s house. I could do anything I wanted.

  Riya and Neha came out as they were almost ready with the food.

  ‘I hope you are having a nice time together,’ Riya said.

  Ya right! Nice time with a gay, I said to myself. The biggest irritant was that he carried an N-series Nokia cell phone that was all the rage then. But he had it in pink colour. Urgh!

  Riya came and sat beside me. and Neha were discussing something which we could not hear. I did not care to.

  ‘So how is your love life?’ Amit asked Riya with a big smile on his face. I hated that smile.

  ‘Can’t you see, we are madly in love with each other. We cannot live without each other. I love him a lot.’ Her answer brought a big smile on my face.

  ‘What about you?’ I asked Neha. I wanted to show Amit that if he could talk to my girlfriend, so could I.

  ‘Even we love each other. It has been a difficult journey for us. Still we are together. This gives us great satisfaction,’ Neha answered.

  ‘Ya even I love her a lot,’ Amit added.

  For the first time I was not angry at his answer. Not even frustrated. I was observing their eyes. Maybe they did love each other like they said.

  We decided to play cards. Teen patti.

  I shuffled the cards and gave three cards to each. I looked at my cards.

  I had three cards of spades.

  We put in a minimum bet of 10 rupees. For the first round, nobody packed their cards. The second round began. Riya packed and so did Neha. Now only Amit and I were left.

  ‘I increase the bet by 20 rupees,’ I said.

  ‘Me too,’ Amit added.

  ‘I will further increase it by 20 rupees. Amit think it over. You will lose,’ I warned him.

  ‘Don’t worry. I call for a show,’ he replied cheekily.

  ‘I showed him my cards one by one.

  ‘I told you that you will lose. Didn’t I? See your face.’

  He showed me the first card. It was the queen of hearts. I looked at my queen of hearts. I wished I had that card. I could have afforded to lose but for that card. He showed me the second card. It was the queen of spade. Two queens. This made me nervous. It was not the question of a few rupees but the question of who was superior between the two of us.

  He showed me the third card now. It was a joker. I had lost.

  ‘Buddy, one should never be overconfident. This is how a real game ought to be played. You have to win without saying a word,’ he said getting up with a look of pride on his face, like he had won a battle or something.

  I hated him so much. I wanted to win. I kept telling myself it was just a game. However, I did not forget what he had said.

  It was time to have lunch. Both the girls went inside to warm up the food, leaving Amit and me behind. This time I took the initiative and talked to him first.

  ‘So, how is college going on?’

  ‘Perfect. What about you?’

  ‘Nothing special. So you love Neha or are you dating her just for sex?’ I thought he would hit me.

  He laughed and said, ‘Ya I really love her. We’ve been together for a long time now.’

  I had got my answer. I had known there was something off about him from the day I first saw him.

  ‘Your parents know about it?’ I was eager to hear his response.

  ‘Not yet. But let’s see. Our parents are strict. Neha’s dad will kill her if he gets to know about our relationship. They don’t believe in love and all.’

  I had seen parents like theirs before. Not everybody was as lucky to get parents like mine. I was observing him carefully. There was something going on in his mind. One thing was sure. This man couldn’t love anyone. If someone had asked me that question, I would not have spared him.

  Riya came out with the food. Neha followed her with the dishes. I was waiting to taste it as I was going to have fish made by Riya for the very first time.

  Riya served all of us and came and sat beside me. I was looking at her. She gave a smile. She understood why I was looking at her. She played with my hair a little.

  Soon we started eating. The food was delicious. Riya started feeding me and I did the same.

  ‘Like it?’ She knew I loved her cooking but for some strange reason she would always ask.

  ‘Of course I like it. You are a great cook.’

  She was changing the TV channels when Pogo appeared and I told her to stop.

  ‘Are you a kid? My brother watches these cartoons,’ Riya laughed.

  ‘Don’t you call me bachcha? Then I am a kid. I love this show. I love Bob the Builder,’ I smiled like a kid.

  ‘Idiot. Wait I will bring rice for you,’ she said and went into the kitchen.

  ‘Hey Aadi… Why do you like this show?’ Amit asked me.

  I chose to ignore him and quickly changed the topic. Riya served me rice and fed me with a spoon. I loved watching her eyes when she fed me. I would end up eating more rice because of this.

  Riya fulfilled all my needs and guided me to the right path, wiped away my tears, and tried to make me feel happy when I was low and depressed. I always felt like telling her that I loved her much more than I had ever before.

  After having lunch, we went to the bedroom. I wanted to talk to Riya. I wanted to spend some quality time with her. Amit and Neha were in the hall. We closed the door of the bedroom and sat on the bed.

  ‘Jaan, you are a very nice cook. I loved all the dishes.’ She kept her head on my lap and lay on the bed.

  ‘Thanks. I feared that you would not like it. Now I can marry you in peace.’

  ‘Marry me? So early?’ I asked.

  ‘Ye
s. I want to.’ She was serious.

  But I felt it was too early to get married.

  She started showing me her old photographs and some soft toys. Her dresses and her skirts. I loved one mini skirt in particular. It was grey in colour and shorter than all the skirts I had seen her wear before. I told her to wear that one. She refused as the other two were sitting outside.

  ‘Change here. I will close my eyes. I won’t see you changing,’ I said.

  ‘Dare you open your eyes,’ she said.

  ‘I won’t open my eyes but I will open your skirt for sure,’ I said flirtatiously. I was best at doing that. Atleast I thought so.

  ‘Shut up, Aadi. Now open your eyes,’ she said.

  I was gazing at her so hard that I fell down from the bed. My heart skipped a beat. She had changed her top too. It was her new red top. Red was my weakness. Seeing that colour, I could not resist myself. I pushed her onto the bed.

  As we lay facing each other, listening to Mariah Carey, I looked into her eyes, leaned over, and said, ‘You are awesome.’

  She was playing with my bare chest. This was the first time we were together in bed. The first time I got naked with Riya.

  Her voice was steady and soft, her lips close to my ear. At the same moment, my hands were securely wrapped around her back and my chest was pressed against hers. Later, as we lay facing each other, listening to John Mayer’s ‘Your body is a wonderland’, she looked into my eyes, leaned in, and said, ‘You’re amazing in bed.’

  ‘You want me to try it in the air?’ I said becoming more naughty.

  ‘You make me feel so good,’ she sighed.

  ‘The next time I am going to take you on a horseride,’ I said hugging her as we lay beside each other.

  She looked fresh after making love. Her face glittered. We went outside after sometime. Neha and Amit were watching TV.

  All three of us left the house shortly afterwards. I was tired and did not want to travel by train. I decided to go by autorickshaw. I was still engrossed in Riya’s perfume, her body, her expressions—all of it haunted me. After physically, mentally, and emotionally becoming a single living and breathing soul, I did not want to let go of her.

  I was about to reach home when Riya called me. I picked up the phone.

  ‘So you’re missing me so much that I get a call barely 20 minutes after I’ve left your house? Love you jaan,’ I said as I picked up the call.

  ‘Jaan, listen to me first. Please. It’s urgent. Please come back’

  ‘What happened? Something serious? Are you okay?’ I said in a tense voice.

  ‘Yes, its serious. Amit has met with an accident. He fell from his bike. He had dropped Neha home and while he was on his way back home, his bike skid on the highway. Neha just called me to tell me this. Please come back. We are taking him to the hospital. We are on our way to the hospital. Sector 20.’

  ‘Okay fine. Don’t worry. I am coming.’ I hated him, but for Riya and Neha’s sake, I had to go.

  I told the driver to stop. I paid him, got down, and went to Aerol again. I reached the hospital. Riya and Neha were standing at the reception. Neha was crying. I tried to console her. The doctor told us that it was nothing serious. He had a minor fracture in his hand. I went inside to see him.

  ‘Aadi, how come you are here?’ He was surprised seeing me in hospital. Maybe he knew that I hated him all along.

  ‘Riya called me up. I came to see if anything was serious. However, you seem to be fine. Just a minor crack. Right?’ I had a look at his hand.

  ‘Ya kind of. Maybe 20 days to recover. I was driving slowly but…’

  ‘Its okay. Take rest. And be careful. Shall I leave? I will come back again tomorrow. I am late now. I have to reach home.’

  Riya was waiting outside. I calmed her down. She was worried. I told them to go home as it was getting late. All of us left the hospital. I dropped them first and then went back home.

  I was already late. I told mom what had happened. I just said that my friend had met with an accident. My ‘college’ friend. If I had told her everything, she would have asked more questions.

  The next morning I went to the hospital to check upon Amit. His didi was already there with him. I asked him how he was feeling. He smiled.

  ‘When are you getting discharged?’ I asked him.

  ‘Maybe tomorrow. The doctor will examine me today and then he will take the decision. I hope he discharges me today. There are no sexy nurses here.’ We all laughed.

  Amit’s didi told me to wait with him for a little while since she had to rush back home urgently for some work.

  ‘Aadi you are very lucky.’ He seemed upset.

  ‘Why. Any problem? What’s the matter?’

  ‘You have such a nice girlfriend who takes care of you. You are a lucky boy,’ he added.

  When I asked him the details, he started telling me about his love life.

  Neha has not called me since last night. It is already 11 am. Is this the way to behave? She doesn’t care about how I feel or what I want. She could have waited here with me yesterday. However, she said she was sleepy and left. It’s not the case with you and Riya. I am sure if something like this had happened to you, the case would have been completely different. I seriously love Neha but she does not return my love. I understand her family is strict but still these things can be worked out. The way she gets close to other boys irritates me. Whenever I call her during lunchtime, she says she is busy with her other friends. I wait outside your college for hours and she still does not bunk a lecture. Here I am, still with her, as I truly love her.

  I thought about how right he was. Riya truly was a sweetheart. She would have taken a bed next to me just to be with me in the hospital. However, as I said before, not everybody could have Riya. She was mine and just mine.

  ‘Look Amit, do you seriously love her? Frankly telling you, I have been observing Neha and you since the first day I met you. I think you are not at all serious about her. Instead, you just want her to go to bed with you. I do not know how far and how deep your relationship is but I think she is a good girl. Don’t compare her with anyone. If you love her, don’t expect anything. Just go on loving her.’

  ‘Aadi… I am not with her for sex. I could get that for money anywhere else. I want her love. I do not say she doesn’t love me. However, she has different priorities. Such things hurt me.’

  Somewhere in my heart, I felt that he really loved Neha. I told myself that I ought to give him a chance. But I could not believe Neha was at fault. She seemed like a nice girl to me. Anyways, there was no point in thinking so much. I decided to give Amit one more chance.

  ‘Friends?’ I moved a hand of friendship towards him.

  ‘I considered you as a friend much earlier,’ he replied.

  We looked at each other and smiled. Neha entered the room. It was 12 pm. I said goodbye to both of them and left. Riya was in college. I messaged her that I was coming. On the way to college, I thought if that was a handshake of true friendship or did he have some other plans in mind?

  The Seven Promises

  Amit was discharged on Thursday. He was allowed to go to college from the next day onwards. He still had a bandage on his right hand. But it was nothing serious. The four of us decided to go to Chowpatty on Saturday. I asked Swapnil, Sameer, and Anup if they were coming. Sameer had some work and couldn’t come. Swapnil and Anup happily tagged along.

  We were waiting at the ticket counter on platform no. 1. I introduced Amit and Neha to all the others. We had to get down at CST and from there we decided to go to Chowpatty by taxi.

  ‘Amit, do you booze?’ Swapnil asked. There was no need for him to ask this question now. I nudged Swapnil lightly and told him to shut up. But he did not listen. He asked Amit the same question again.

  ‘No, I don’t even smoke,’ Amit said resting his hand on Neha’s shoulder.

  ‘Good man. You seem to be a real mamma’s boy,’ Anup added. I was now enjoying his leg pulling so I
did not stop my friends.

  Neha felt the need to defend her boyfriend in front of everyone and said, ‘He is my Amit. He will never do things I don’t approve of.’

  Amit gave me a look of ‘See, I’m ready to do anything for her’. The leg pulling continued till we reached CST. We came out of the station and started looking for taxis. Amit and Neha hired one taxi and the rest of us took another. We reached Chowpatty within a few minutes.

  Everyone, including me, started shouting in joy, almost as if they were seeing the beach for the first time in life. However, with friends it is a different experience altogether. We sat on the beach. I was not interested in going into the water. Mumbai beaches are not as clean as they used to be earlier. I preferred eating chaat and my other favourite, paav bhaaji. Amit and Riya joined me. Neha and the others were near the water.

  ‘Amit, what will you have?’ Riya asked him.

  ‘Nothing. I don’t like junk food.’

  I knew he would say something like this. I took out all my frustration on him.

  ‘Abey behenchod, are you insane? Or are you crazy? Are you a Gladrags winner or are you Salman Khan? What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you eat paav bhaaji like the rest of us?’

  Riya was shocked to see me shouting at Amit like this. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. We had paav bhaaji and pani puri. Riya to have ice cream. I wondered why all girls were so crazy about ice cream. Maybe they liked wasting their boyfriend’s money.

  ‘Hey Amit, come here. Let’s go for a walk,’ Neha shouted from afar.

  ‘Thank God she knows I exist. I thought she was just going to enjoy by herself and then we would leave,’ said Amit in anger. I could tell how low Amit must be feeling. Riya egged Amit to go. Once he left, both of us were on our own. Swapnil and Anup were nowhere to be seen. I thought they had gone for a smoke somewhere. Even I felt like taking a smoke break. However, since Riya was with me, I ignored the temptation.

  Riya and I went for a long walk. Holding hands, looking at each other, leaving the world behind. I was walking so close to her that we hardly had any space in between us.

  ‘Jaan, how much do you love me?’ Riya asked me.

  I went down on my knees and said, ‘Last time, I had proposed to you in front of five other people. Today I will propose to you in front of a thousand people. I love you and this love is growing rapidly each day. Your touch still sends shivers down my body. Every kiss feels like our first kiss. I love you. I love your luscious lips. I love your caring nature.’ We hugged each other.