Stay

by Mulholland, S.

“I am not leaving. This is Magda’s wedding and it’s not over yet,” I defy him.

  I also need to find out why Jason is here now, after four years of being off the grid. What does he want?

  I look around to find I have no idea how we ended up in the living room of Dan Engle’s—Jesse’s boss-- house from the back yard where the reception was being held at, but we did.

  I look back at him and shove my finger in his chest. “If you want to be a prick, that’s fine. Leave--ALONE. I’ve had it with YOUR shit!” I scream angrily.

  At this point I don’t take in my surroundings very well but I know that I can still hear the music which right now is my jam—‘Stay’ by Miley Cyrus—I’ve always thought that it’s been the theme to my and Jason’s “relationship”.

  I have to say that girl is fucking crazy as shit but that song is legit. I don’t care what anyone says about that bitch…that song makes up for it.

  Anyway, I also hear laughter filtering in from the outside so I try to find my way back there but I come to a sudden stop when Zac grabs me by the waist and lifts me up so that I don’t touch the ground.

  “Let me go!” I yell.

  I try to turn towards him to punch him anywhere but his grip is deadly as he starts walking through a long hallway.

  He turns his face towards me before whispering in my ear, “You better be careful, Alex, or your lover boy will only be finding pieces of you when he comes after us,” he threatens.

  I stop fighting because I’m more than livid now at his stupidity.

  “Do it, Zac, I dare you! Just do it and get it over with. It’s what you try to do every day of my life anyway. I die on the inside each day knowing that I have to even look at you. I‘d rather be dead than live the hell I’m living with you now…”

  Suddenly he stops and drops me to the ground. I grab onto the wall so that I don’t land on my ass but he pulls me back towards him immediately. He then shoves me into the other side of the wall.

  My head hits it first and those yellow little lights that I always see start blurring my vision.

  I can feel him caging me up against the wall with his whole body.

  “Don’t tempt me, pretty girl,” he seethes.

  I shake my head to regain my focus, which I do for a little bit. I take my hands which are at my sides and shove him as hard as I can on his chest.

  To my surprise he stumbles back into the wall behind him—must be the alcohol.

  He glares at me before continuing to threaten, “Don’t think that I’m going to let you go back to that fucking sorry ass douche out there! I know who he is and he’s not going to have you. I’ve told you before, Alex, I own you! You’re MINE!”

  I slap him hard across the face.

  “The only douche here is you and this is the last time I’m going to tell you, you don’t own me! You never have. That man out there has always held my heart, my soul, and my life…everything that I have has always been his. I married you because he wanted me to move on and you were the one that was supposed to help me do that. You were the one that was supposed to heal the wounds that he left behind when he disappeared but instead you became this monster that no one knows you are and made me love him even more for not being anything like you. I hate you! I will hate you for the rest of my miserable life with you. I want to ask for a divorce on a daily basis but I know you won’t give it to me. But at this point I don’t care. I’m out! I can’t do this anymore! I’m filing for divorce whether you like it or not and it’s over! You can find someone else to use as your punching bag because this one is leaving your ass!!” I yell, feeling a weight lifted from shoulders now that he knows the truth.

  I turn on my heel to walk away and I start to hear loud voices coming around the corner. I start towards them but I get turned back around by Zac only to come face to face with his fist.

  I hit the wall first—again—then I slide to the ground as blood starts filling up my mouth.

  I rub my jaw and spit out the blood before I look up at him and snarl, “Had to get one last one in, huh?”

  I get up using the wall but he grabs my arms to hold me in place up against the wall—again--before he punches me right in the stomach, making the air gush out of my body.

  He lets me go and my knees buckle so I fall to the ground holding on to my stomach. I gasp for air as I clutch onto my stomach.

  He bends down to get close to my face, “I’m never giving you a divorce, I’ll kill you before that. Simple as that, pretty girl.”

  I try to find my voice to tell him to fuck off but nothing comes out.

  He starts to stand me up but this time it’s up against a table of some sort that I didn’t even realize was in this narrow hallway we are in.

  He pushes me against it and as his fist collides with my face—again—I hear it first before I feel anything. Just a huge thud as I hit the side of the mysterious table and then the floor.

  I immediately see darkness and feel an enormous amount of pain everywhere especially my head. I’m not able to move at all but I know that I can still faintly breathe and hear what’s going on around me.

  I hear Magda screaming and Jesse comforting her while at the same time it seems like Jason is beating the shit out of Zac.

  I lay here next to that table feeling like there is something draining from my body. I assume its blood gushing out of my head from the blow.

  Out of nowhere, I feel someone kneeling by me touching my face and my hair.

  I can’t make out what that person is saying until I focus in on the voice. Once I do that, I figure out it’s Jason.

  I try to move but I can’t, it’s like I’m still conscious but not.

  I hear his panicked voice, “Stay with me, baby. Please, stay…please. Baby…I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m asking you now, stay, please?” He pleads to no avail.

  Through sobs I feel his hands rub my face. I’m trying, Jason…I’m trying. Don’t let me go!

  I cry inwardly because I don’t know what’s happening. I can hear him and feel him but I can’t do anything about it.

  I start to fade into the darkness again when I will myself to open my eyes.

  To my surprise, they do, only about half way.

  I can clearly see Jason now, looking down on me with tears running down his face.

  “Keep your eyes open, Alexandra…please—keep them open…” He begs softly.

  I try to reach for him so I can touch him one last time but I have no strength left. I can feel my breathing slow and my eyes involuntarily shut.

  Before everything starts to fade away I faintly hear Jason’s voice one last time, “I love you, baby, I always have, please stay with me…”

  I succumb to the quiet and this time I just hear—nothing.

  Chapter Eleven

  Death is peaceful.

  Or maybe that’s just what I heard in that one vampire movie. I mentally shrug.

  It’s definitely not peaceful. I feel like shit, like I had one too many horrific Long Island’s and puked my guts out in front of an audience while no one held my hair and my ass cheeks were hanging out of my dress. Too much? I’d have to agree.

  Point is, right now I feel like my head is exploding and my temples are being smacked by drum sticks. Holy shit-ballz! Am I hungover?

  I try to move. I can’t. What the fuck?

  I can feel my eyes moving franticly back and forth but I can’t open them. Weird.

  I try to open my mouth but it feels like my mouth is weighed down by something or something is chocking me. What the shit? Why does my body feel like cement?

  I can feel myself start breathing more rapidly because I’m freaking out.

  I start to hear a rapid beep…beep…beep…What the hell is that? I try to calm myself down to focus on the sound but then I hear something to my left that catches my attention.

  Is that music I hear? What the fuck is OneRepublic doing playing ‘Come Home’ around me? Am I that hungover or am I really dead?

  Whatev
er it is, this fucking thing I feel in my throat is starting to piss me off.

  I try to reach for my throat but the only thing I feel are my fingers moving but nothing else.

  Then I hear a strange male voice, “She’s moving!!! Someone get in here, NOW!!”

  Who’s moving? This would all be a hell of a lot better if I could see what the fuck is going on.

  Wait…who’s voice was that? That sounded familiar. Maybe not. Damn! I think I still must be drunk.

  For some odd reason it feels like someone is by my side and holding my hand. The touch seems familiar but I can’t quite place where I know it from.

  All I know is that it feels good—warm and comforting. Again…weird.

  I try to move my fingers and I feel whoever is holding my hand, squeezing it. I find myself squeezing back.

  It feels like whomever it is, their helping the beeping slow down.

  As I start to focus on the touch of this person’s hand I hear commotion.

  “We need everyone to clear out,” says a second strange male voice.

  This one, I don’t find familiar.

  “I’m not going anywhere, take all that shit off. She’s moving. That means she’s awake!!” Says the familiar voice that’s still holding my hand.

  “Sir, we have to ask you to step out, NOW!” Yells a female from somewhere around me.

  I pick up another familiar voice around me. “Come on, man. Let them help her. Let’s get you outta here. You don’t want to see this--”

  “NO!” He interjects sternly.

  I start panicking—again—that voice sounds too familiar. Where do I know it from? Why is everyone yelling? Why can’t I talk?

  I feel the hand that’s soothing me start to slip through my fingers. I try to hang on and bring their hand back but I can’t. I don’t have the strength.

  I shake my head or at least try to. I try to talk instead and for some reason it seems like I’m gagging.

  “I’m not leaving! Take it all off or I fucking will! I’m here, baby. I’m here!” The familiar voice yells when I feel his hand soothing me again.

  Further away, I hear footsteps and then a door shut.

  All of a sudden everything hurts. My eyes feel like their being peeled off and my throat feels like its being pulled out. I gag loudly. This time I can hear it.

  I cough and feel a shooting pain in my head.

  I make to rub my temples but I hear someone nearby speak so I stop, “Ma’am, try not to move too much. It’s going to be extremely painful.”

  No shit, Sherlock! Ma’am? Where the fuck am I?

  “Alexandra!? Talk to me, baby. Open your eyes, angel…open them, please,” the soothing man says desperately.

  What the fuck is going on? Who is that? Alexandra? Nobody’s called me that since Elizabeth.

  Ignoring my thoughts, I try to move my head and this time I can feel it moving from side to side, so I try my eyes next.

  Slowly but surely I feel my eyelids lifting.

  Man, I must’ve had a really good time last night because everything is so blurry right now. I’m probably still drunk.

  I try blinking several more times.

  “Miss, I’m going to need you to open your eyes for me really slowly and tell me where you are,” says a strange male voice.

  I try to say “shouldn’t you tell me that?” but all I hear is mumbling coming out of my mouth.

  “Alexandra, I’m here—please look at me—“ Who keeps calling me that?

  I start to see clearly now but all that catches my eye is a bright ass yellow light shining directly into the inside of my retina.

  I lift my arm up and push the hand holding that shiny light away.

  “What the fuck are you doing? That’s fucking blinding me,” I finally manage to say with a voice I have never heard come out of me before.

  I smack my lips together and it’s no wonder I sound like a fucking fifty year old smoker, I have no saliva. It’s like a fucking desert in my mouth.

  “Water…” I request from whoever is by me.

  “Ma’am…small sips.” I look over to where the voice is coming from and see a chubby lady lifting a cup with what I assume to be water, to my lips.

  She has brown hair and she’s wearing all blue—they look like scrubs but that can’t be. I shrug it off.

  I take a small drink and it’s so refreshing that I feel energized and more able to talk now.

  I finish the water and start to look around when I see a man standing next to the chubby lady with a white coat and same blue outfit as hers.

  “Why are you guys dressed the same?” is what comes out of my mouth first.

  “Ma’am—“

  “Please stop calling me Ma’am…I’m not ninety,” I interrupt.

  “Sorry, Miss. Can you tell me where you are?” He asks softly.

  “No. Can you?”

  “You are at St. Mary’s hospital. Do you remember how you got here, Miss?”

  I look at the stubby bald man standing by what I assume is my bed with a confused look on my face. Hospital? What the fuck am I doing at the hospital?

  “What the fuck am I doing at the hospital?” I ask out loud.

  I feel my hand being squeezed, suddenly.

  Oh Shit! The man—that voice—where do I know that voice from? I panic but slowly turn towards my left and look down at my hand to see it being held by someone.

  I hear that annoying loud beeping again.

  “Sir, I think its best you leave she seems to be having a reaction to you that can only cause her more harm,” says the older man next to me.

  The man holding my hand ignores him.

  I finally get the courage to look up—slowly—and see…What.The.Fuck.

  My sight is met with the deepest blue set of eyes I’ve ever seen—correction-- there’s only person on this planet with those eyes--oh my God! Jason?

  “Ja—“

  “I’m here, baby…I’m here,” he whispers, his face full of concern.

  I’m sure my mouth is hanging open right now like an idiot but what the hell is he doing here? When did he get back?

  I close my eyes to get a better understanding of what’s going on right now. I try to remember but it seems like I keep hitting a road block on my memory.

  “Jason—what—how—I don’t understand. What are you doing here? What am I doing here?” I ask, still shocked that he’s right beside me.

  Baldy speaks suddenly, “Sir, we have to finish her check-up. She just woke up from coding the night before and she’s been out for two days. She needs to be examined. Please leave so we can continue to make sure she is getting the care she needs.”

  Coding? What the fuck is stubby talking about?

  I look back at him with my nose scrunched up. “Wait…what? What are you talking about?”

  “Ma’am,” I try to roll my eyes but I wince at the pain this causes me. “You’ve been unresponsive for two days to be exact and last night you flat lined so we had to use a defibrillator to bring you back,” he explains.

  “Jason?” I am so confused that I look at him for answers.

  He turns his eyes on the two strangers, “Can you guys give us a minute? Obviously she needs to know what’s going on—I’m sure the exam can wait. She NEEDS to know what happened if she doesn’t remember.”

  “Sir, that’s not the—“

  “Please! Just give me thirty minutes with her…alone,” he turns his pleading eyes on stubby who only sighs heavily.

  He looks at the brown haired woman and motions to the door with his head.

  “Fine…thirty minutes and then we ARE going to finish this exam,” Stubby huffs as he and chubby start walking towards a door with a small window on it.

  I suppose I should have gotten their names so I don’t have to keep calling them that.

  As they walk out I see the woman turn back and look through the window and wink at me. Strange.

  I take this time to look around the room I’m in and see that i
t’s all white aside from a bunch of colorful flowers sitting in what seems like every corner.

  I spot a small ass cream colored couch up against the wall to the left of the door and it has a blanket and a couple of pillows on it. I look further left and see my iPod player sitting on the window sill next to some red roses with a ‘Get Well’ balloon on it. So that’s where OneRepublic was coming from.

  Finally, directly to my left, I see a machine with all these different lines on it and I hear that familiar beeping sound…then it hits me.

  “I really am at the hospital, aren’t I?” I ask Jason as my eyes meet his again.

  He looks at me with sad eyes and whispers hesitantly, “Yes.”

  “Why?” I ask, truly not knowing how or when I got here.

  He looks away from me and looks down at our entwined hands. “You don’t remember? Magda’s wedding?”

  I try to shake my head. “What!?—no—I, uh…”

  He squeezes my hand and I close my eyes again but this time, I remember looking up at Jason and seeing the pain in his eyes as I was struggling to keep my eyes open—

  “Wait! I saw you…I saw you, Jason, you were there, holding me—“ I recollect.

  It all starts coming back to me and when I open my eyes I find Jason staring back at me with tear filled eyes.

  “Yes, I was there. I don’t know what happened before I reached Zac and tackled him to the floor but from what Doctor Washington says, you took quite a hit to the head. We later put together that you hit your head on the sharp edge of the table in the hallway you and Zac were at. There was blood everywhere—I thought for sure you were gone then… ” He says, his voice full of sorrow.

  I let go of his hand because I remember now, I saw him holding me—“We had to use a defibrillator to bring you back”— I died?

  “Jason, I died? I don’t understand. I remember seeing you briefly as I opened my eyes and I heard--you said—you said…you loved me. Was that a dream? I remember it all now. The blows and the yelling coming from around the corner. I tried leaving to go back to the reception then I got stopped by Zac only to get taken down. I don’t remember hitting the table, but I remember—you...”

  He swallows loudly. “Yes, baby, you did die—I thought I lost you back there. It wasn’t a dream. I did say those things. I meant every word. Even after all these years, Alexandra, nothing’s changed for me. I’ve never stopped loving you. I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long to get back to you…but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere. I’m so sorry.”