Stay

  Pulling back to look at me he says, “Like what?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know, like unplug it? I don’t want to hear it anymore and someone’s going to come in here if it beeps faster…”

  He shakes his head vigorously. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, babe. They have it on you for a reason. Why don’t you just…“

  “Dammit Jason, unplug that damn thing or so help me, I will get up and do it myself.” I threaten.

  Defeated, he walks over to the outlet and unplugs the heart monitor.

  The beeping stops and I give a sigh of relief.

  He walks back over quietly and stands next to my bed again.

  I move slightly to the right as much as I can before I motion for him to lie next to me.

  “Alexandra—“He warns.

  “Shush…I’m fine. Just do it. I want to make sure you’re here, Jason, please…” I whisper.

  He gives in. He lies next to me slowly to make sure he doesn’t hurt me.

  I smile at him but he doesn’t return it.

  He moves to lie on his side then looks directly at me before placing his hand softly on my cheek. “I’m here, baby. I’m NOT going anywhere.” He assures me.

  I close my eyes at the feel of his touch. When I open them again, I see what I’ve always known was there but never thought could be—love.

  He gets closer so that our noses are touching. “I’ve missed you, Alexandra. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you…” He whispers.

  His hand slides down my neck and into my hair.

  My eyes close again involuntarily, at the feel of his skin on mine.

  Almost breathless I whisper back, “God, Jason…I’ve missed you too—“

  He starts kissing the side of my face where the bandages are then gently pulls my head back so that he has better access to my neck.

  My body starts burning for his touch everywhere. My stomach tightens at the anticipation.

  Finally, he pulls me towards his rock hard body.

  “I don’t want to hurt you…but I want you so bad right now, please tell me if I’m hurting you,” he says raggedly.

  Without any hesitation I assure him, “You’re not hurting me…please—“

  He doesn’t let me finish because his lips are on mine then.

  I feel my heart rate pick up so I’m grateful that the heart monitor is unplugged or it would be going crazy right now.

  Our kiss is slow and gentle, just like I remember them being. I reach over to wrap one arm around his shoulder to make him come closer.

  He takes this opportunity to climb over me, conscious that he’s not hurting me.

  We kiss for the longest time because it’s been over four years since we’ve been together. I want to savor every moment in case this is the last time.

  He pulls away and starts kissing every inch of my face. Then he goes back to my neck.

  Slowly he starts pulling my gown down until I’m free of it—at least on one side because there’s cords attached to me on the other.

  His eyes roam over my body. “You’re so beautiful, Alexandra…I can’t believe I’m here now—with you. I thought I was going to have to spend the rest of my life just listening to your voice…” He says breathlessly.

  Wait—What? I haven’t talked to him since that fateful night…. His fingertips graze the top of my shoulders then move down to lightly caress every inch of my chest and stomach making me forget the confusion behind his sweet words.

  My body explodes with goose bumps from his touch and my thoughts are replaced with only want for my one and only.

  I can’t wait anymore for him so I grab his shirt with the little strength I have and pull him down on me. “I need you now Jason, I’ve waited too long…” I say in between kissing him.

  In a husky voice he says, “I know, baby, I need you too…so fucking bad, but I don’t think this is a good idea. Anyone can walk in and you’re hurt…”

  I stop kissing him and look up. “I’m not hurt right now, Jason, please—“

  Again, he doesn’t let me finish because next thing I know he’s on me like white on rice and then he’s wonderfully naked on top of me.

  I run my fingers down his sculpted chest while looking into his eyes lovingly.

  Both my hands caress the sides of his face. “There’s never been anyone but you, Jason—I love you so much it hurts. I want you to stay. I don’t want you to leave me—I won’t be able to handle it this time. I can’t live without you. Tell me now…” I plead before I’m lost in him once again.

  With his voice barely above a whisper, he soothes me, “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry for ever leaving. It’s always been you. I always wanted to stay—I’m staying now, Alexandra. I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’ve waited to come back for you for so long. I haven’t been living any kind of life without you.”

  A few stray tears run down the side of my face when he bends down and kisses me softly.

  A quiet moan escapes me as his hands move up my legs.

  Slowly and gently he repositions me on the bed so that he doesn’t hurt me.

  Before entering me he speaks softly, “I’ve waited so long for this moment, Alexandra—I love you more now than I did before, baby. You’re mine and I’m yours—“

  I hold onto his shoulders as he slowly pushes into me.

  I gasp and he moans loudly. “God, baby, you’re so tight…I’ve missed being inside you…so much.”

  I look into his eyes and hold his stare. “I’ve been waiting for you, Jason. There’s no one else I’ve ever wanted as much as I do you, you’re the reason I hold on—“

  A tear slides down his face as he slowly picks up the pace.

  Tenderly and carefully he makes love to me whispering loving things in my ear.

  As we both cry out in pleasure I think about how this is the whole reason I’ve held on. For this very moment—the moment that would bring us together again.

  The reason for everything I’ve endured is right in front of me. Jason is my reason to breathe, to live…to exist.

  As he puts both him and me back together in case my nurse comes in, I think about how much I’ve missed this man. How much I’ve wanted him to be with me through the hard times. I’ve missed him so much that it’s always felt like there was a hole in my heart. I’ve just never been the same since he left.

  He lies next to me now, holding me the same way I remember he used to.

  A satisfied sigh leaves me and I grab onto his shirt to make sure he’s not going anywhere.

  “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asks, worried.

  I smile up at him. “No…you made me feel better,” I assure him.

  He smiles his beautiful smile with his sexy dimples and all. “Good. You made me feel better, too. Although, I can’t believe we just made love on a hospital bed.”

  A giggle escapes my lips as I snuggle in the crook of his neck breathing him in.

  I can’t believe he’s here so I have to keep reassuring myself that he’s real and it’s not just my mind playing games with me.

  I still have so many unanswered questions that I know if I don’t get them answered I’ll still feel like this is all a dream.

  “Jason...” I whisper.

  “Yes, baby?”

  “Why did you come back that second time—the last time I saw you at Bobba’s—why?” I ask trying to put the pieces together.

  He tenses so I look up at him. He doesn’t look back down to me.

  He sighs and rubs his face before answering, “I—I had heard that you were seeing Zac from one of the guys and I wanted to make sure that you were okay. I wanted to see that you were moving on from me with my own eyes. I—I didn’t want to believe it. I guess I needed reassurance that you were over me because I wasn’t over you. I was being selfish and stupid—I wanted to see you so badly that I made myself believe I just wanted to wish you well. I thought when I saw you it would be easy to say ‘I’m happy for you’ but it turned into something else
…and for that I’m sorry. If I could take that day back, I would because that’s the day I lost you to someone I thought you deserved. I was so wrong but I couldn’t see it because my family life was stopping me from living my own life. They needed me and it blinded me in so many ways. You have no idea how much I regret that day, Alexandra—it’s kept me up at night. Just thinking about what could have been if I would have just told you what was going on and not told you to move on. You wouldn’t be here—you wouldn’t have had to go through the abuse you did—I thought I was protecting you. I’m so sorry…” His voice breaks.

  I reach up and wipe away a lone tear.

  “Jason, it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. We both were not honest enough with each other back then. But we’re here now and we are being honest now…that’s all that matters. You’re here—my Jason—my Jason Roberts,” I state confidently.

  He hugs me closer to his chest and kisses the top of my head.

  “Yes, baby, we’re here now, to stay. My Alexandra—my Alexandra Angel.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Bright blue eyes look back at me, similar ones to those that have held my heart since that night in October.

  “Cake!” He yells.

  I smile at him and yell back enthusiastically, “Yes, cake!”

  “One!” He holds up his index finger high in the air.

  I laugh. “Yes, one!”

  I finish putting his shoes on as Jason walks in the room.

  “So who’s a big boy today?” He asks playfully.

  “Da-Da! One!”

  He laughs. “Yes, sir, one!”

  Picking Jayden up from my lap he kisses him on the forehead and swings him in his arms back and forth.

  Jayden laughs and repeats “more” over and over again.

  I watch them both from the chair I’m sitting in and think about everything that’s happened since that night at the hospital.

  Not only do we have Jayden in our lives from that night but I became free from Zac soon after.

  I smile thinking back to when Zac’s parents showed up to my hospital room begging me not to press charges against their precious son.

  “Please, Alex, you cannot press charges against Zac. It will ruin the family name and he will go to jail making us all look like a bunch of poor, un-educated low life’s.” Zac’s mother Danielle says with a face full of disgust.

  I look back at her with that same look of disgust. “You people are just that, Danielle. You just don’t see it because you’re so blinded by what you have. You’re all pieces of shi—“

  Jason makes a grab for my hand and starts rubbing circles on my knuckles. “Alexandra, why don’t we let these people tell us something we are interested in…?”

  I close my eyes and sigh heavily. “Fine, tell me something I want to hear Danielle because right now I’m two seconds away from walking down to the police station myself. Hospital gown and all, to press charges against your beloved son.”

  All I want to do is have these people out of my life forever. I don’t want to see them again.

  She panics and tries to come near me but Jason stands up and holds his hands up. “You’re not going near her, say what you have to, and then get out.”

  She hesitates but continues, “Alex, Henry and I came to offer a trade for your cooperation in not filing anything against Zac.”

  Henry, Zac’s father is a tough gray haired man that doesn’t care about anyone else but himself and has always held Zac to the utmost standards, which is probably why he is the way he is. He never says anything, just stands back behind his wife with no care in the world other than keeping their son’s dirty little secret as quiet as possible so it doesn’t affect them.

  I laugh sarcastically. “What could you possibly have to say or offer me in order for me to keep Zac out of jail?” I ask incredulously.

  Her lips thin out as she says, “Money. Just name your price.”

  I roll my eyes. “You’ve got to do better than that, Danielle. I’ve never wanted your money and you know that,” I say appalled that she would think she can buy me off with her filthy money.

  She straightens out her Burberry coat and shakes some hair out of her face. “Fine. What do you want?”She asks, irritated.

  Jason and I look at each other and smile because the only thing we want from them is the thing that will allow us to finally be together.

  “Signed divorce papers,” I state confidently.

  That’s all it took for me to not send their son to jail and get what I had wanted since the day I realized my mistake.

  Zac and his family have been out of our lives for about two years now.

  He never came near the hospital to see me and I haven’t heard from him since Magda’s wedding.

  I heard through the grapevine that he disappeared after the ‘incident’ to help people forget about what happened.

  I was ecstatic to get my divorce and soon after I did, Jason and I got married in an intimate ceremony at Old Saint Joe’s, the St. Norbert College Chapel.

  We figured since we met there. That’s where we wanted to seal our love for each other.

  It was just Magda, Jesse, Jason, me, and our growing baby at the time. I wasn’t too far along with Jayden, so the pregnancy wasn’t noticeable yet.

  Magda was my witness as well as my maid of honor.

  After the night Zac showed his true colors to everyone, she gave me a good talking to about being open with her because she felt like we were sisters and we needed to share everything with each other. I came clean with her soon after she came back to the hospital because she was hysterical and wouldn’t stop crying and blaming herself for what had transpired with Zac.

  I’ve been open to all the people I love in my life about everything that happened in my marriage and my relationship with my mother. To my surprise, none felt pity for me, just sadness for what I had been through.

  We all moved to Chicago after Jason and I got married. Magda and Jesse followed because they said they couldn’t be that far away from their one Godchild. It wasn’t hard for them to soon find jobs that fit the ones they were leaving behind.

  Jason had already started his own company called Strong Angel Construction so he was all settled.

  It was a huge change for all of us but it was a good one. There were too many bad memories in De Pere that wouldn’t allow for a fresh start. We wanted to move on with our lives and Chicago was where it was going to happen.

  It took them all a while to stop blaming themselves for pushing me into an abusive relationship and for not being able to see the signs of it happening. We’ve worked that out, though.

  Since Jayden was born on December 5th of last year, we have all moved past what happened. Our whole lives are surrounded by the love we feel for each other and for this little person that turns one year old today.

  I shake my head, smiling. “Jason, stop it, you’re gonna make him puke on his birthday.” I stand up and take him from his arms.

  “Come here, baby,” I say giving him kisses all over his face, making him laugh nonstop.

  “Come on, babe, he was having fun,” Jason says, pouting.

  I roll my eyes and grunt. “Not the lips…you know what they do to me and we don’t have time for that right now. Magda’s going to bust through the door at any moment with Jesse in toe.”

  I give him a kiss on his lips that still, to this day drive me wild with want.

  He makes a grab for my waist as I pull away from him.

  “Are you sure we don’t have time? Just a fast one, baby…” He whispers in my ear.

  I shiver, involuntarily—yes, he still causes my body to do involuntarily movements.

  “No, Jason. Come on…you know it’s never a fast one. Besides we have to finish getting everything ready. I have to go pick up the cake so you have to make sure that Magda and Jesse don’t go overboard with more decorations and keep Jayden away from the presents until I get back. Now, back away, Mr. Roberts,” I say with a wink. />
  He sighs, “Later, then, Mrs. Roberts.”

  I smile as I give Jayden back to him and start for the door out of Jayden’s room.

  “You sure you don’t want me to go get it?” Jason asks as he starts walking towards me.

  “No, babe. It’ll be fine. I want to make sure that they got every detail right on his SpongeBob cake. I know you don’t know what it’s supposed to look like, so I’ll go, in case they need to fix it. I won’t be long. Just keep everyone entertained until I get back. Your family should be here soon too, so I’m gonna try to hurry back.”

  He moves Jayden to his left hip and places his arm around my shoulders.

  He kisses me on the lips. “What would I do without you? I love you, don’t ever forget that. You make me the happiest man alive.”

  I smile and kiss him back. “Back at ya’.”

  We walk through our living room that’s already filled with balloons, confetti, and some sort of banners that say ‘Happy Birthday’.

  It was only going to be an intimate family gathering but Magda decided to go all out and decorate our whole house with birthday decorations.

  I smile as I walk through and bump into a life size SpongeBob blow up doll by the couch.

  The doorbell rings and I run to get it.

  Magda barges in through the door with an angry expression. “Since when do I have to ring the doorbell?” She asks annoyed.

  I smile remembering that we lock the door now.

  “Since the last time you and Jesse decided to walk in on me and Jason doing—uh—yoga together.” I blush and Jason laughs.

  Jayden says, “Yo—ga—ga.”

  We all laugh.

  “I’m outta here. I gotta go pick up the cake.”

  I get my coat from the closet and put it on before telling Magda not to overdo it anymore with the decorations.

  All I get in return was a “no promises” look.

  As Jesse bumps fists with Jason he adds, “Can’t let Jayden be the only one on this block to not have a kick balls birthday party.”

  I reach the doorknob but turn back to address that comment. “First of all, don’t say ‘balls’ in front of my one year old. Second, please control your wife. Third, make sure Jayden stays away from the presents. Jason is a softy so he’ll give in at some point.”