Artist's Dream

by Gerri Hill

  “I’m sorry,” she finally whispered, her voice hoarse.

  When she raised her head, Luke brushed lightly at the remainŹing tears, her eyes cloudy with worry.

  “No, I’m the one who should apologize, Cassie. I never should have…”

  “You don’t understand,” Cassie said, stopping Luke’s apology with a soft finger on her lips. “I’ve lied to myself for so long, told myself that I could never have feelings for a woman.” Cassie swalŹlowed hard and reached out a hand that trembled only slightly as she touched Luke’s soft face. “It was just too much,” she said quiŹetly. “I felt like I was going to explode,” she admitted.

  “I still shouldn’t have pushed you,” Luke insisted.

  A small smile touched Cassie’s lips. “I wanted you to kiss me.”

  Luke entwined her fingers with Cassie’s, then brought Cassie’s hand to her lips.

  “So … you want to … pretend this never happened?” Luke asked, her eyes searching Cassie’s. “Or maybe … see where it goes?” she asked shyly, finally looking away.

  Cassie shook her head. “From the moment I saw you on that sidewalk, I knew if I was to get to know you, you’d be the one that could break down all the walls I’ve built around myself. I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen,” she said. “But where it’ll take us, I don’t know. It’s taken me years to work up to a kiss.”

  Luke smiled and nodded her understanding.

  “It’s been a very long time since I’ve wanted to get to know someone, since I’ve wanted to be around someone,” Luke said. “I don’t want to let this pass us by, Cass. I can be as patient as you need me to be.”

  “You may regret those words,” Cassie murmured.

  “No, I won’t.”

  Luke pulled her gently into her arms, and they sat together with their backs against the sofa and watched the candles flicker as the piano music played on around them. Luke was apparendy conŹtent just having Cassie near, so Cassie settled deeper into her embrace, her mind still filled with a hundred questions. But right now, she didn’t want to think. She just wanted this … closeness, something she’d never had with anyone.

  Later, as Cassie settled into her own bed, alone, she allowed her thoughts to return to the evening. Panic had set in as she drove home, and she’d nearly convinced herself that she shouldn’t see Luke anymore, that she should go back to her safe, solitary, lonely life. Luke had left it up her, simply telling Cassie to call her when she wanted to talk.

  She really didn’t know why she was shocked by what had occurred. Hadn’t she known this would happen? Hadn’t she felt desire from die moment she looked at Luke that day on the side-

  walk? Hadn’t she known that if anyone were to bring her around, it would be Luke?

  She rolled over and faced the wall, willing the desire to go away. She didn’t need it, she told herself. She was perfectly happy with her life the way it was. Safe and boring and lonely. She squeezed her eyes closed and tried to shut out her father’s booming voice.

  “Living here with them, thick as thieves. You’d think you’re one of them, the way you flock to them. It’s unnatural, I tell you!”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Cassie smiled at the family as they looked over her pieces, then scowled at the little boy as he picked up a squirrel and shoved it at his sister.

  “Stevie, stop that,” the mother said. She threw a glance at Cassie. “I’m sorry. He knows better,” she apologized.

  Sure he does, Cassie thought, as she reached for the deer he had just picked up. “They’re breakable, Stevie,” she muttered under her breath.

  She was irritable, she knew. She shouldn’t be. The fair was going well, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. People packed the fairgrounds and she knew she would be nearly out of her small carvings by the end of the weekend. That is, if this brat didn’t break them first.

  “Stevie! Put it down,” the mother said. She turned to her husŹband with pleading eyes. “Please take him somewhere. I really want to look at these carvings.” She turned to Cassie again. “Sorry. He has abundant energy today,” she apologized again.

  And I hope you have him on some sort of medication, Cassie thought. But she smiled sweetly. “Look all you want,” she said.

  “These are how much?”

  “The smaller ones are seventy-five. The larger ones go up to one twenty-five.”

  “How much are the big ones?” she asked, pointing to the giant carvings.

  Cassie followed her eyes to the eagle. “They vary. Anywhere from two to four thousand. Except the seal and the beaver. They are both five.”

  “Oh, my,” she said. “Out of my range.” She picked up the deer Stevie had been holding and turned it in her hands. “Seventy-five is reasonable,” she murmured.

  “There you are!”

  Cassie turned at the sound of the unfamiliar voice and frowned.

  “Cassandra Parker, right?”

  “Yes,” Cassie nodded. She guessed him to be in his late fifties, although his skin was nearly wrinkle-free. Perhaps it was his shiny bald head that aged him, she thought, but she didn’t have a clue as to who he was.

  He smiled and stuck out his hand. “I’m Weldon Arnold. A dear friend of mine has a couple of your carvings. You do exquisite work, and I’m in the market,” he said quickly, his eyes darting to her carvings.

  Cassie let her hand fall after Weldon Arnold had given it a gentle squeeze. She motioned to the wood carvings behind her. “You’re welcome to come back here for a closer look,” she offered.

  “Oh, my,” he said, his hand going to his throat. “Luke said you did much more than eagles.”

  Luke? Just the name sent shivers across her skin, and she folded her arms at her sides. One week. One week since Luke had kissed her, and she could still feel her, taste her as if it were only minutes ago. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, trying in vain to block out the images that she knew would come. Butterflies slammed against the walls of her stomach, and she took a deep

  breath, swallowing hard before turning back to the woman holdŹing her deer.

  “Sorry,” Cassie apologized. “Do you like it?”

  “Yes. I think I want this one. Checks okay?”

  “Of course,” Cassie said.

  “Ms. Parker?”

  Cassie turned back to Weldon Arnold. “Yes?”

  “I really like the beaver for the patio. You even have flakes of wood chips here where he’s chewed the log,” he said. “It will make a great conversation piece. Will it weather?”

  “Yes, it’s been finished for the outdoors,” Cassie said. “Most of the larger ones have, except the smaller eagle there.”

  “Great, great,” he murmured. “I love it.” He turned back to the eagle.

  Cassie took the woman’s check and hurriedly wrapped the deer. A seventy-five dollar sale could not compare to the beaver. “Thanks,” she said. “And tell Stevie to be careful with it,” she added.

  She turned back to Weldon Arnold as he studied one of the eagles. It was similar to the one that Luke bought that first day, just smaller, and she could tell Weldon wanted it very badly.

  “You like the eagle?” she coaxed.

  “I offered Luke fifteen thousand for the one she has on her patio, the eagle in flight,” he said.

  Cassie’s mouth dropped open. Fifteen?

  “She wouldn’t even consider it,” he said. “I don’t suppose you have another like that?”

  Cassie shook her head. “No. That was definitely one of a kind.”

  He smiled. “Oh, well. I probably shouldn’t, but I can’t leave this beauty behind. I’ll take them both,” he said.

  “Both?” Cassie asked, and he laughed at her shocked expresŹsion.

  “Yes, both. You don’t have a limit, do you?” he asked lightly.

  “Of course not. The eagle won’t weather,” she explained. “I can put a finish on for you if you plan to keep it outdoors.”

  “Thank you but that won�
��t be necessary. I’ve got a spot for her by the fireplace.”

  She smiled broadly at him, trying to keep the excitement from her voice. The two pieces totaled nine thousand dollars. “Well, Mr. Arnold, you’ve made two excellent choices.”

  “I’ll get them both tomorrow before I leave. Is that okay?”

  “Of course. You live in the city?” Cassie asked. She accepted his platinum credit card with only slightly shaking hands.

  “Oh, no. Out on Russian River. We’ve just moved into a log home that Luke Winston built. But we’re from the city, and this is our first county fair,” he explained.

  This must be the client Luke was telling her about that first day. “Well, I hope you’re enjoying it,” Cassie said as she waited for his receipt to print.

  “Very much. My partner and I just recently retired, and we were so ready to get out of the city.” He rubbed his neatly trimmed mustache then flicked his eyes again to her carvings. “Could I have some of your business cards? If you don’t mind, I have a good friend up at Lake Tahoe that has a shop. Your eagles would go over so well up there.”

  Cassie’s breath caught, but she kept calm. “Woodcarvings in the mountains are everywhere. I doubt this would be anything speŹcial.”

  Weldon Arnold dismissed her comment with a wave of his hand. “Chainsaw art, if anything. A dime a dozen, you’re right. But this, hand carved from driftwood, your detail is spectacular,” he said, running his fingers lightly over the eagle’s head.

  “You have a good eye,” Cassie commented. “Were you in the business?”

  He smiled. “We owned an art gallery, yes. And I know good work when I see it. How is it you’ve been hiding away out here in the country?”

  Cassie shrugged, remembering her struggles of trying to find shops in the city that would carry her carvings. Of course, back then, she seldom had the time to devote to her large carvings.

  “I haven’t been doing this that long,” she explained. “The giant carvings, only about five years now, but I have a couple of shops in San Francisco that sell the smaller ones.”

  “Our gallery was in the Union Square area. Your work would have done wonderful at the Union Street Spring Arts Festival.”

  Cassie’s eyes widened and she laughed. “I’m afraid I was never good enough for Union Square.”

  “Oh, honey, trust me, you’re good enough. You just didn’t have the right contacts.” He paused, as if considering, then continued. “Luke says you two are friends, and any friend of Luke’s is okay by me. I still have a few contacts there. If you’re interested, I’d be happy to make a call for you,” he offered.

  Cassie was speechless. Any local artist would kill to have their work displayed in Union Square. Suddenly, things were moving too fast, and she was stunned. Mr. Arnold seemed to notice her discomfort and patted her hand.

  “My dear, I can see I’ve dropped a bomb on you, and I have no idea what your inventory is like. If you decide, just let Luke know. She can contact me directly.”

  “I really, really appreciate the offer, Mr. Arnold, but it is a bit overwhelming. I’ve gotten used to these county fairs and local art shows, I’m afraid.”

  “I understand. If you would at least allow me to call my friend at Lake Tahoe?”

  “Of course, if you think he’d be interested.”

  He smiled and pocketed the business cards she handed him. “After thirty years in the business, I do miss discovering new talent. Think about my other offer. It would be my pleasure to introduce your work.”

  “Thank you. I will.” Then she motioned to the carvings he had bought. “And I’ll have these ready for you tomorrow,” Cassie assured him.

  “Wonderful. It was so nice doing business with you.” He took her hand, kissed the back of it, and left as quickly as he had come.

  She sat down in a daze after he had gone. Two pieces just like

  that. And just because Luke Winston said she did exquisite work. She owed Luke a very big thank you, but wondered when she’d have the courage to call her.

  Luke. Why did the mention of her name call up memories of them on the floor … kissing? They came to her with such vividŹness that she felt her stomach roll and pulse quicken. She had spoken to Luke only once in the past week, but had not seen her. Luke had gone to San Francisco on Wednesday and Cassie had not heard from her since.

  And she was fine, she told herself. She didn’t need to see Luke, to talk to her. It was better that they took some time. She took a deep breath, staring out over the crowd, seeing nothing. It wasn’t better, she finally admitted. She missed Luke. She didn’t want to miss her, but she did.

  She stood quickly, pacing in her small, roped off area, trying to forget about that night, wishing it still didn’t come to her with such vividness. All these years, she thought. All these years of pretendŹing she was something she wasn’t. All it had taken was one kiss. One kiss and she could no longer pretend.

  She heard someone call her name and saw Kim making her way through the crowd. She groaned silently. She had been avoiding Kim all week, afraid she would see through the facade. She would have to tell her sooner or later, she knew.

  “Hey,” Kim called before stepping over the rope. “How’s busiŹness?”

  Cassie avoided Kim’s eyes, making a show of going to the beaver and eagle, a broad smile on her face.

  “Say good-bye to these two,” she said.

  “Two more? It’s barely noon,” Kim said. “You only have five left.”

  “Yes. Isn’t it great? Some guy came in and just like that,” she said, snapping her fingers, “He bought both of them. He’s coming back tomorrow to pick them up,” Cassie said. She did not mention that Luke Winston had sent him. She cocked her head to the side with a grin. “How about you?”

  “You were right about the abstract,” Kim said. “I got rid of it first thing this morning. The guy let me keep it until this evening, and I had at least six other offers for it.”

  “Well, it’ll give you something to do this winter,” Cassie said.

  Kim nodded, then stood with her hands on her hips.

  “Have you been avoiding me?”

  “Of course not.”

  “I’ve barely talked to you all week. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Of course I’m okay,” Cassie insisted.

  Kim stared at her for a long moment, long enough to make Cassie uncomfortable.

  “You sure?”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Okay. Well, I better run. I’m just taking a pee break. Great crowd, huh?” She stepped over the rope, then called back, “Don’t forget about the party tomorrow night,” and was gone.

  The party. She had forgotten. It was a tradition that had started long before Cassie had moved here. Each year, the artists got together for a party after the fair ended on Sunday, just to brag about good fortunes or lament the sale that got away. Paul and Jeff were hosting it this year, and Cassie was thankful she would have someplace to go instead of her empty house where flashes of Luke’s kiss seemed to be hiding in every shadow.

  She had to stop this, she knew. It was slowly driving her crazy, these feelings raging through her body at just the slightest thought of Luke Winston.

  She wanted, needed to see her again. She missed Luke. But maybe Luke was giving her time to adjust. Their conversation on the phone had been brief, Luke simply making sure she was okay and to tell her she would be in the city the rest of the week.

  With difficulty, she pushed thoughts of Luke from her mind, and instead, replayed the conversation with Weldon Arnold. It was too good to be true, really. Union Square? God, she would be the

  envy of the locals, that was for sure. Even Kim, who had had showŹings in the downtown galleries, never made it to Union Square.

  But did she have enough pieces? Five left here. A handful more in her workshop in various stages of completion. If she did that, she would only be able to concentrate on the b
igger pieces. No more sitting on the porch in the evenings, carving small birds and squirrels. Did she want to give that up? Then she grinned. She wasn’t a total fool. No artist in their right mind would turn down an offer of Union Square.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Cassie waved at Kim briefly, then let herself be pulled into the kitchen by Paul.

  “You haven’t been here since I moved in,” Paul complained.

  “I was here at the Christmas party last year,” Cassie said.

  Paul scowled then shook his finger at her. “Cass, you and I came together for that one. That was only the second time Jeff and I had met.”

  Cassie grinned and punched Paul in the arm. “And we all know what happened that night, don’t we?”

  “I fell in love,” Paul said dramatically, and Cassie laughed.

  “Yes you did,” she said. “And I got dumped.”

  Paul grasped her hands. “It could have been worse.”

  “Yes. You could have left me for another woman,” she said lightly.

  Paul ignored her comment and pulled her in close. “And what about your love life?” he asked quietly.

  Cassie looked away quickly. “What love life?”

  “I thought you were seeing some farmer.”

  She dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand. “Oh, that. I wouldn’t actually call it dating,” she said. “There was nothing there,” she said.

  He stared at her for the longest time, and she grew uncomfortŹable under his gaze.

  “What?” she asked finally.

  He smiled and stared at her for a second longer, then shook his head. “Nothing,” he said lightly. He filled a wineglass for her and handed it to her after a quick kiss on the cheek. “Now, how was the fair? The last time I checked, you only had five pieces left,” he said.

  “I still have them. And I guess the seal will stay with me through the winter, too. I really like her, but I suppose people don’t want a seal sitting on their patio. I did sell most of the small carvings,” she said. She took a sip of wine, which tasted surprisŹingly good.