by Gerri Hill
“I don’t think Kim likes her,” Cassie said to Lisa. “She thinks Luke’s too much for me.”
“Honey, I just don’t want her to take advantage of you,” Kim said. “You’re so innocent,” she said quietly. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Cassie nodded, accepting the new glass of wine from Lisa. Innocent, yes. But that didn’t mean she didn’t know what she wanted. And she wanted Luke in the worst way.
“I’ve been afraid to see her,” Cassie admitted. “That’s why I haven’t called her.”
“You’re afraid to be alone with her?” Lisa guessed.
“Terrified,” Cassie whispered.
Chapter Twenty-two
It was nearly midnight, but Cassie was afraid if she waited until morning, she would lose her nerve again.
The phone was answered on the third ring.
“It’s me.”
There was a long pause.
“Are you okay?”
Luke’s voice was heavy with sleep, and Cassie bit her bottom lip, wishing she had waited until morning.
“I’m sorry it’s so late,” she said. “I just … why don’t I call tomorrow?”
“No, it’s okay. I’m glad you called.”
Cassie heard Luke turning in her bed, heard the rustling of covers. She imagined Luke was sitting up, perhaps leaning back against her pillow. The sheet would have slipped to her waist…
Cassie cleared her throat, words spilling out before she could stop them.
“Luke? What do you sleep in?”
A low chuckle sent shivers across her body. She covered her eyes with her free hand, wondering if she could be any more sugŹgestive.
“I sleep in a bed,” came the quiet response. “You?”
“Funny. A sense of humor, even at midnight.”
Luke laughed, and Cassie’s embarrassment eased somewhat, although she still didn’t have an answer to her question. Did she need an answer?
“I was wondering if you had plans tomorrow. I thought maybe we could get together for lunch or something,” Cassie offered.
“Can’t tomorrow. I was up late finishing some designs. I’ve got to meet a client in Sacramento.”
“Oh.” Cassie tried not to sound disappointed. It was her own choice to wait four days to call. Luke had her own life, her own work and deadlines to meet. Did Cassie really think she had been sitting at home by the phone, waiting for Cassie to call?
“Why don’t you come with me?” Luke suggested.
Cassie hesitated. She had work to do. She was already far behind her usual pace on the small carvings, the ones she would take to the Christmas fair. And if she ever wanted to call Weldon Arnold, she would need at least three more eagles to show.
“Please?” Luke’s voice, still husky with sleep, whispered in her ear.
“Are you sure I won’t be in the way?”
“Positive.”
“Okay,” Cassie agreed. She didn’t know why she was hesitating anyway.
“Thanks. I’ll pick you up about eight. Or is that too early?”
“No. But I better get to bed.”
“Yes, you better do that.”
Luke’s low voice sent another shiver through her, and Cassie’s mind raced, wishing she were crawling in beside Luke instead of her cold, lonely bed.
It was only then that she realized she had never slept with
anyonea loverovernight. On the two occasions she had attempted to find solace with a man, the one time in college, then right before she moved here, she had fled quickly afterward, wantŹing nothing more than to be alone. She had been too humiliated and disheartened the first time to even consider staying the night. The second time, with a man named Stephen, she simply could not stand his touch upon her and wanted to get as far away as posŹsible.
It was after that night that she started wondering if it was only her father’s words haunting her or if there was another reason she didn’t want the touch of a man.
She had no doubt now, knowing she would be perfectly content to sleep snuggled in Luke’s arms, safe and warm. She closed her eyes, wondering if the next time she and Luke were together, would she be able to make her stop. Would she want to make her stop?
Chapter Twenty-three
“You look very nice,” Cassie said. She had debated over what to wear, finally settling on a newer pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Luke, on the other hand, had shed her usual baggy jeans for a pair of neatly pressed black slacks and a deep maroon sweater.
“Thank you. My version of dressing up,” Luke explained.
“Should I have…?”
“No, no, you’re fine. It’s just that I’m meeting him at his office. He’s an attorney, and there’ll be suits and ties and all.”
They were quiet as they drove through town on their way to Santa Rosa and the interstate. Finally Cassie reached over and squeezed Luke’s arm.
“I’m sorry I waited so long to call.”
“I understand,” Luke said and smiled. “Are you okay about the other night? I was afraid that it was too much, that you wouldn’t want to see me for awhile.”
“I told Kim,” Cassie stated.
“You did? And how did she take it?”
Cassie laughed. “She wasn’t really surprised. I mean, she’s been telling me for years to look in the mirror. But she was worried about you. That you were forcing me into this, I think.”
Luke nodded, then met Cassie’s eyes for a moment.
“Is that what you think?”
“No! Of course not. It’s just that, for so many years, I’ve denied this, at least to her. But I couldn’t lie to myself any longer.”
“Is it going to be hard to face people, friends? I mean to have professed to be straight and then suddenly show up with me?”
Cassie stared at the road for a long moment before answering.
“I don’t really have a lot of close friends. I know them, of course, but only because of Kim and Lisa. I wouldn’t exactly call them good friends of mine. And no, I really could care less what they think.”
“You know, I find that so hard to believe. You’re a very likable person, Cassie. Why haven’t you let anyone get close?”
“I guess it was just easier to keep my distance.” Cassie shrugged. “I never really had a lot of friends anyway. You know, my father and all.”
Luke reached over and captured Cassie’s hand and pulled it into her lap, holding it there as she drove. Cassie relaxed, giving into the gende pressure as Luke’s warm hand closed over hers.
“I’m glad you let me in,” Luke said quietly. “You could have just as easily run from this, too.”
“No. I couldn’t. Believe me, I tried.”
Luke brought Cassie’s hand to her lips and kissed it gently before tucking it again in her lap.
“Actually, I tried, too.”
“What do you mean?”
Luke smiled. “After the last time, I swore I would never get involved with anyone again. I didn’t want to care about anyone like that again. I’ve had a handful of lovers over the years, but it was nothing more than casual, really. But with you, I don’t want it to be casual. I very much want to get to know you better. And that scares me a little,” Luke admitted. “I almost didn’t recover from the last time.”
Cassie squeezed Luke’s hand before speaking.
“I can’t promise I won’t hurt you, Luke. This is just all so new, I’m…”
“Scared. I know.”
Cassie nodded silently, wondering why she was scared. Physical intimacy was one thing, but after the other night, she knew once she was in Luke’s arms, she would lose any inhibitions she may have. She suddenly blushed, remembering the way she had pulled Luke to her breast, shivering as she recalled the feel of Luke’s warm mouth as it settled over her. No, that wasn’t die problem.
The problem was her father. She could never tell him, she knew. That would be the end of any relationship they may have. But was she prepared to hide this? To blatantly
lie to him? For all she knew, he thought she was still seeing Paul, the last name she had mentioned to him.
“Let’s don’t worry about it now,” Luke said. “We’ll have a good day. After my meeting, I’ll take you to lunch. Then there are a couple of houses I want to show you.”
“Ones that you designed?”
“Yes. One was years ago when I still worked for the company in San Francisco. The other was done just last year. There’s a vast difŹference.”
“Good. I’ve been curious as to what your designs are like. I mean, I love your house, but it’s so unique. I imagine that’s one of a kind.”
“Definitely. It took me forever to design. I must have changed it ten times before I was satisfied. I originally had the office area enclosed. It was the only area with walls, but I just didn’t want to be closed in.”
“Why don’t you have a spare bedroom? Are you never expectŹing company?”
Luke grinned. “Well, there is a spare room, an apartment really. It’s above my workout room.”
Cassie punched her playfully on the arm.
“And I got the sofa?”
“Actually, I just wanted you in the house with me,” Luke said shyly.
“Really?”
“Well, I thought it was a bit soon to ask you to share my bed, especially since you had just told me you weren’t gay.”
They both laughed, and Cassie was secretly pleased that even then, Luke was feeling the attraction between them, too.
“I think I would have attempted to swim home if you’d sugŹgested that.”
“Yes, I know.”
Cassie quickly leaned over between the seats and kissed Luke lightly on the cheek.
“I’m so glad you came into my life,” she said quietly.
“I’m happy to be here.”
Their conversation turned to lighter matters, and Cassie relaxed, glancing occasionally at their hands that remained entwined. In no time at all, they were crossing the Sacramento River and into the downtown area. Luke stopped at an office building within walking distance of the state capitol and paused before parking.
“You’re welcome to come in with me or you can take the Lexus and explore a bit,” Luke offered.
“Actually, I think I might wander over to the capitol and look around. But I can walk from here.”
“Okay. If you want, we can go to an art museum later. The Crocker is one of the best in the state.”
“You don’t have to entertain me, you know,” Cassie said. “I just wanted to be with you today.”
The warmth in Luke’s smile touched Cassie’s heart, and she was surprised when Luke leaned over and kissed her on the mouth.
“Thank you. After lunch we can decide.”
Cassie nodded, having to restrain herself from wrapping her arms around Luke’s shoulder and pulling her back for another kiss.
“Do you want me to come find you when I’m through?” Luke asked.
“Or I can come back here. How long do you think you’ll be?”
“Not more than an hour, I hope.” Luke glanced at her watch
before guiding Cassie out of the parking garage with a light touch on her back. “There is a nice picnic area outside the capitol. Let’s meet there. Then we can walk down Capitol Avenue. There’s a really great Italian restaurant I think you would like.”
Cassie agreed and watched Luke walk off, admiring her confiŹdent stride. She finally turned when she realized she was staring, and she walked off, alone with her thoughts. And they were simply filled with Luke.
She walked, unseeing, through the halls of the capitol, her shoes silent on the marble floors, staring absently at the paintings hung there. She couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything, her thoughts continuously jumping back to Luke and the casual way she had kissed her. Suddenly her eyes widened.
“Oh my God,” Cassie whispered. She put a hand to her chest and rubbed the spot over her heart slowly. She squeezed her eyes shut. “I think I’m in love with her,” she whispered again.
She looked around quickly, realizing she had spoken the words out loud. Panic set in, and she found the nearest bench, sinking slowly down, wondering how on earth this could have happened. No, she told herself, I’m not in love with her. We barely know each other. She bent her head, grabbing the bridge of her nose with her fingers and squeezing. Not in love.
She sat for a few minutes, taking deep breaths as she tried to calm herself. It was just all so new, she told herself. That was all. They would get to know each other, take things slowly and then see what happened. Yes. That was all.
She smiled. See, I’m not in love with her. That would just be crazy.
An hour and ten minutes later, she saw Luke strolling across the lawn toward her. Her pulse quickened at the sight, and she rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep the silly grin off her face.
Luke sat down next to her at the picnic table and casually took her hand.
“Miss me?”
“Of course not. Have you been gone?” Cassie teased.
A lazy smile appeared, and Cassie got lost in those dark eyes so
close to her own. She dropped her glance to Luke’s mouth, sudŹdenly wishing they were alone.
“Cassie, don’t look at me like that or I’ll forget we’re out in public,” Luke threatened. “In Sacramento, no less!”
“I know. I’m sorry.” She took a deep breath and moved back from Luke just a little. “How did it go?”
“Good. He liked the design. He only made a few changes, and that won’t take me long to do.”
“Do you contract out to build as well?” she asked.
“Sometimes. But usually closer to home. In this case, he’s already got a builder.”
Luke stood and pulled Cassie to her feet.
“Come on. If we hurry, we can beat the lunch crowd.”
They walked out of Capitol Park and down Capitol Avenue, the sidewalk becoming more crowded as the noon hour approached. The avenue was lined with small shops and restaurants, and Luke stopped at one as the smell of Italian cooking drifted out to them.
“Smells good,” Cassie said and her stomach agreed. She had skipped breakfast.
They only had to wait a few minutes before they were seated, and they stared at each other across the candlelit table.
“This is nice,” Cassie finally murmured.
Luke raised one eyebrow. “Romantic?”
“Yes,” Cassie said, unable to pull her eyes from Luke. Desire settled over her slowly, enveloping her like a warm glove on a cold winter’s day.
“Cassie …” Luke warned.
“I want you,” Cassie stated suddenly, without warning. Then, embarrassed, “I’m sorry.”
“God, don’t be sorry.”
She watched, fascinated, as the pulse in Luke’s neck throbbed. Her thoughts of earlier surfaced. In love? Did she even know what it felt like? But as she drifted into those dark eyes that held her capŹtive, she knew exactly what it felt like.
“Ladies, how are we today?”
Cassie was the first to break their intense stare, and she looked away, again embarrassed. But it wasn’t embarrassment that she saw in Luke’s eyes at the interruption. It was regret.
“We’re great, thank you,” Luke said to their waiter who had materialized unnoticed.
“Good. Can I get you ladies a glass of wine before lunch?”
“I’ll have apple cider, please. Cassie? Glass of wine?”
“Oh, apple cider is fine for me, too.”
“Very good. A nice hot loaf of bread will be right out.”
When they were alone again, Cassie dared to meet Luke’s eyes. But they were warm and smiling, the earlier intensity gone for now.
“You could have a glass of wine, you know. I don’t mind.”
Cassie shook her head. “I like apple cider just fine.”
A loaf of steaming Italian bread was placed between them. Luke poured garlic-flavored olive oil in small plates on the table and reached for the peppe
r mill, raising an eyebrow questioningly at Cassie.
“Yes, please.”
During their meal, Luke told her about the house she was designing for the attorney, and Cassie was thankful Luke had turned the conversation to less personal matters.
“Why did you become an architect?” Cassie asked.
Luke shrugged. “I always loved to draw as a kid. I actually thought I’d be an artist,” she said. “I just wasn’t good enough. Neal is the one that suggested architecture.”
“I really would love to see some of your paintings.”
Luke laughed. “Probably not.”
“They can’t be that bad.”
“Well, like I said before, if you’re ever in my bedroom…”
Cassie blushed and Luke laughed again.
“You’re terrible, you know that?”
“Yes, just terrible,” Luke agreed, but the smile remained.
Chapter Twenty-four
The drive home was made in relative silence, one or the other occasionally attempting conversation. After lunch, Luke had taken her to the two homes she had designed. The first was an elaborate brick home not unlike most of its neighbors. The second, done only a few years ago, was a cedar home tucked between large trees. A three-tiered deck flowed on two sides, disappearing into a clusŹter of shrubs and trees separating it from the neighbors. Cassie loved the second home. She could see Luke’s touch on it. She couldn’t imagine the Luke she knew today having designed the first one.
The day had been pleasant, but now, as they headed back to Sebastopol, Cassie was unsure what was happening between them. Before they left Sacramento, Luke had leaned over and kissed Cassie. She had meant it to be brief, Cassie knew, but their desire stirred, and Cassie had captured Luke’s lips, her mouth opening, inviting more. With the console between them, their kisses grew
ardent, demanding. Both were gasping for breath when Luke finally pulled away, her eyes so dark with desire Cassie went back for one more kiss. But Luke had stopped her, instead, taking her hand and bringing it to her lips.
Then she had driven away without a word and now Cassie wasn’t sure what to make of it. Their conversation had dwindled to nothing.