Somewhere Only We Know

by Beverley Hollowed

  “Stop panicking,” Finn said with a laugh, sensing Kate was feeling suddenly very uncomfortable. He reached in and took the package from the boot of the car and handed it to Kate. “You will like my sister and her husband. DJ is my nephew, he is five, and pretty awesome.”

  “Cool,” Kate said with a smile but her heart sunk. She wasn’t comfortable around kids anymore, it was just too hard and brought back too many memories.

  “Are you okay?” Finn asked, looking at her curiously, as he slammed the boot shut. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “Yeah,” she lied and forced a smile. “I’m fine.”

  “Then let’s get you inside,” Finn replied giving her a big smile, but he wasn’t fully convinced she was okay. He watched her, as they walked up the pathway to his father’s house.

  When they reached the door, Kate paused and took a deep steadying breath. She knew she was being ridiculous, but her racing heart and sweaty palms were out of her control.

  “You know, they won’t bite,” Finn said, as he reached for the door with one hand and Kate’s hand with the other. “I promise.”

  She didn’t respond, instead just smiling at him gratefully. She wondered for the first time, what he would think if she told him about Callum and Emily. She wondered what he would think of her just walking out of her marriage after eight years.

  Finn led Kate through the cool shade of his father’s home, straight through the kitchen and out into the backyard, where Jack was sitting on a porch swing, a blonde, curly haired little boy, almost like a miniature version of Finn, sitting next to him.

  “Hi there!” he exclaimed with a big smile, when he saw Kate standing on the porch next to his son.

  “Happy Birthday, Jack,” Kate replied with a bright smile, as she walked towards him. He stood up, as she approached him, greeting her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

  “What a lovely surprise,” Jack said, seeming genuinely pleased to see Kate. “Thank you so much for coming.”

  “Well, when Finn said it was your birthday,” Kate answered, as she nervously glanced over at Finn’s sister and her husband. Sara smiled at Kate and Kate could feel herself relax a little, as she returned Sara’s smile. She turned back to Jack and her smile widened. “I just wanted to drop by and wish you a very happy birthday.”

  She handed him the gift she had brought for him, then pulled a bottle of wine from her oversized bag she had on her shoulder and handed it to Finn.

  “You didn’t need to do that,” Finn said, as he took the bottle from her. “Please, take a seat and I will get you a drink. What will you have?”

  “Just a soda,” Kate replied, giving Finn a smile. “I’m driving.”

  “I will be right back,” Finn said before he vanished back into the house. Kate sat down next to Jack, as Jack pulled his grandson onto his lap.

  “Are you going to help me unwrap this, DJ?” Jack asked the little boy, as he lifted up his gift from in between him and Kate.

  “YES!” DJ replied excitedly and instantly began to tear away the wrapping paper from his grandfather’s gift. Kate smiled, but her heart ached, as her mind went back to Emily, on her fourth birthday. She loved unwrapping gifts so much and the brighter the wrapping paper, the better.

  Kate remembered how she and Callum had stayed up late the night before the party, making sure all Emily’s presents were wrapped and ready for her when she woke up.

  “Kate, this is beautiful,” Jack said snapping her out of her trance. He held up the cardigan Kate had bought for him and called to his daughter. “Sara, did you see this? Isn’t it beautiful?”

  “It’s beautiful, Dad,” Sara said, as she came up to join Kate and her father on the back porch. “You must be Kate, I have heard a lot about you. Lovely to finally meet you.”

  “You too,” Kate said fighting hard the desire to run straight for the front door. What the hell was she doing here? These people were strangers.

  “We were very grateful for you helping out Dad the way you did the other day,” Sara continued. “I hate to think what would have happened to him if you hadn’t have been there.”

  “It was nothing really,” Kate replied, flicking her eyes towards Jack, who had a sad smile on his face, as he sat and watched the two girls talk.

  “Here you go, Kate,” Finn said when he re-emerged out through his dad’s back door. He handed Kate her soda and gave her a big grin. As soon, as she saw him, she instantly felt more relaxed.

  “Thanks,” Kate said, taking the soda from Finn, as she quickly glanced at Sara. She blushed when she saw the way Sara was grinning at her brother. Kate knew what Sara was thinking. If she was honest, she knew Sara wasn’t wrong. Finn liked her. That much was very clear. She just hoped she wasn’t sending back the wrong signals. Yes she liked Finn too, but she wasn’t ready to move on. Not yet.

  “This is my husband. Dan,” Sara said, as Dan joined them on the back porch. He reached out and offered Kate his hand, which she took and shook firmly.

  “Nice to meet you,” Kate nodded.

  “Pleasure is all mine, Ma’am,” Dan replied and Kate noticed he had a slight southern accent. He was an attractive man, with war hazel brown eyes that twinkled when he smiled. “I hope you are hungry, barbeque is nearly ready.”

  “It smells delicious,” Kate replied with a smile.

  “I’m DJ,” the little boy, who had not taken his eyes off Kate since she arrived announced, as he moved closer to her and looked deeply into her eyes. “Are you sad?”

  “DJ!” Sara exclaimed with a nervous laugh. “Don’t be so rude.”

  “But her eyes aren’t smiling,” DJ replied still not taking his eyes from Kate.

  “I’m so sorry,” Sara said turning to Kate. “DJ sometimes says what he is thinking without realising he is being rude.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for,” Kate replied honestly to Sara, feeling sorry for the girl standing in front of her. She knew how much hard work kids can be, Emily could be a real handful at time. And she too would say things that made Kate cringe at times. That’s what children do. “You can’t take kids serious.”

  She looked at DJ and gave him a real, genuine smile. He stared at her for a moment, as if he was considering what to do next. Suddenly to Kate’s surprise, DJ stood up and wrapped his arms around her neck and whispered in her ear. “Don’t be sad, I will be your friend.”

  His words surprised, but touched Kate. She gave him a hug back. Then he released her from his embrace, he turned and ran off into the garden, as if what happened was completely normal.

  Kate looked up at Finn. He gave her a nod and a big smile. Kate finally relaxed.

  The rest of the afternoon went by so quickly. Kate was surprised she was actually having fun. Finn had been right, Sara was lovely. She and Kate got on famously. They all sat on the deck, as the sun began to set and listened to Jack tell them stories about when he and Kathleen first got married. Every so often, he would stop, as if he was remembering. Once or twice, Kate thought he winced, but no one else’s seem to see it.

  As the sun was setting, Sara stood up and said she was going to clear away the dishes. Kate stood up to help her, but froze when she saw DJ half way up the garden gasping for air. Dan was the first one to notice her face and immediately turn in the direction of his son.

  “JESUS!” He exclaimed, as he quickly jump down from the back porch and scooped DJ up into his arms. “Oh God! I think he is choking!”

  Sara and Finn ran towards Dan and the little boy, each taking it in turn to try and help the boy. Kate just froze, she could barely hear any words that was said over the sound of her heart hammering in her ears.

  “DJ!” Sara cried out in panic and fear. “OH, GOD PLEASE!”

  Kate knew that fear all too well herself. That moment of panic when you realise your child is in danger.

  SNAP OUT OF IT! Kate screamed in her head. DO SOMETHING!

  “Let me!” she cried out, as she rushed towards the child, and befo
re anyone could respond, she dropped to the ground next to the boy. She quickly took hold of him and placed him across her lap, face down. The she raised her hand and gave the little boy a solid whack across his back. She listened for a moment to see if he was breathing, he wasn’t, so she hit his back once again.

  This time he coughed and a nut he had been eating, came shooting out of his mouth, as he quickly gasped for air and began to cry. Kate lifted him back up from her lap, and looking up at Sara, nodding that she could pick him up.

  “Oh my god,” Sara cried, as she held DJ tightly. “It’s okay sweetie, Mommy has you.”

  She then looked down at Kate, who was still on the ground and smiled.

  “Thank you so much,” Sara said, the tears streaming down her face. “You saved him.”

  Kate just smiled and stood back up. Then without saying a word she turned back towards the back porch. She tried to seem like she was okay, but her heart was hurting. Once again she was reminded of how, despite all her training, she had failed to save Emily.

  She knew it was a completely different circumstance, but the hurt was still there.

  “Kate, you saved his life,” Finn said following her back up on to the back porch. “That was amazing.”

  “It wasn’t that big a deal,” Kate replied, refusing to look at Finn, as she began to gather up the dinner dishes. She was trying her best to remain calm, but her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest.

  “Well. I think it was pretty awesome,” Finn said talking hold of her hand. “Thank you.”

  Kate just smiled, then picked up the dishes and headed back into the house.

  *********

  “I think my brother is very taken with you,” Sara said as she and Kate put away the dishes later on that evening. Kate blushed, but didn’t reply. “I know you like him too, but there is something in the way for you.”

  Kate put the dishes into the press then turned to Sara and didn’t speak for a moment. She was trying to find the right words.

  “Sara, my life is so messed up and complicated,” Kate finally said. “I like Finn, he is a very sweet guy, and if I am giving him the wrong impression, I am so sorry. It really wasn’t my intentions.”

  “Oh, I know that,” Sara quickly replied. “Finn told me you made it very clear, you were only looking for a friend.”

  “I see,” Kate replied, feeling relieved.

  “Look, all I am saying is,” Sara said, as she picked up the last of the cups and put them away. “My brother likes you, and you seem to like him too. Maybe it’s time to let go of whatever it is you are running from and let yourself be happy. You deserve that much.”

  Before Kate could reply Finn walked into the kitchen and stared at both the girls.

  “What did I miss?” he asked with a big grin and Kate couldn’t help but smile back.

  It was almost 9 pm before Kate said her goodbyes. Sara and Dan thanked Kate yet again for what she did for DJ. Kate promised Sara that she would meet up with her very soon for a coffee.

  Once again, Jack insisted Finn escort Kate home and as he had been drinking, he went in Kate’s car, insisting the ten minute walk to his house from Kate’s would do him good.

  When they reached Kate’s house, they pulled into the driveway and switched off the engine. Neither of them spoke for a few moments.

  “I had a lovely time today,” Kate said, finally allowing her eyes to meet Finn’s. “Thank you for inviting me.”

  “It was truly our pleasure,” Finn replied never letting his eyes break from Kate’s. “I think it’s official, my whole family loves you. Especially after what you did for DJ.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that,” Kate shrugged and looked down at her hands as her face burned with embarrassment.

  Finn reached over, gently took Kate by the chin and slowly tilted her face back up to face his.

  “What has happened to you,” he asked, his face barely inches from hers. “Why is it so hard for you to let yourself be happy, or to take a simple compliment?”

  “Finn, you don’t want to hear about all my crap,” Kate said allowing her eyes to meet his once again. “You don’t want to know the mess I am, you should forget about me. I am not the girl you want…”

  “You are exactly the girl I want,” Finn interrupted her, and before she could protest, he pressed his lips to hers softly. For a second Kate didn’t return his kiss, but slowly, surely, she could resist him no longer and allowed him to pull her into his arms, returning his tender kiss.

  “I should be going in,” Kate whispered against her lips.

  “Okay,” Finn said as he reluctantly released Kate from his embrace. He leaned in and quickly kissed her once more before he opened the car door. “I will walk you to your door.”

  Kate climbed out of the car and walked to where Finn was waiting at the front of the car for her. When she reached him, he took her by the hand and led her to her front door.

  “Can I call you tomorrow?” Finn said when they reached her door. He still held her hand and turned her to face him, slipping his arms around her and pulling him closer to him, their bodies almost becoming one.

  “I would like that,” Kate replied shyly.

  He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers softly.

  “Till tomorrow,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers and looked into her eyes. “Sweet Dreams, Kate.”

  Slowly releasing her from his embrace, he smiled once more before he turned and walked down the pathway, and out into the darkness.

  Kate turned and opened her front door. She hurried inside, closed the door behind her and flopped against the door.

  “Oh Katie,” she sighed as she sunk to the floor. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  Chapter 13

  Callum sat in the car and gripped the steering wheel, as a mixture of anger and overwhelming grief swept over his body. His heart hammered rapidly in his chest, as the sound of blood rushing through his ears almost deafened him. His stomach heaved while he sat there in the darkness of his car, staring at the house.

  He watched as the light switched on in the hallway and then another lit up the garden at the side of the house. Then the hallway light went out, followed about five minutes later, by the other light going out also. He knew she had gone to bed.

  He had arrived at the address he was given for Kate the day before, several hours earlier. Each time a car drove towards him, his heart raced. He was desperate to see her now, having backed out of coming the day before. He had talked himself in and back out of coming but now he was here, he couldn’t leave till he saw her.

  It had been over three weeks since she had walked out of their home and he missed her more than he would have ever thought possible. He had wondered where she could have been at that time of night. She knew nobody here in Redmond. He had just about given up hope, deciding this Felix guy must have gotten the wrong address, when he saw her car come round the corner and drive towards him.

  He sat for a moment, steadying his breathing before he found the courage to climb out of the car. Finally, he reached for the handle and opened the door. He stepped out of the car and froze the moment he saw the guy climbing out of the passenger seat of Kate’s car parked in the driveway in front of him. He just stood there in the darkness, watching in disbelief, as the stranger took Kate by the hand and led her to the front door.

  He clenched his hands at his sides, the desire to run over to him and knock this asshole into next week was overwhelming. Then the thought occurred to Callum, what right did he have to do that? He was the one that had destroyed their marriage, he was the one who cheated. They may be still legally married, but Kate told him it was over. She walked out and now, clearly she had moved on.

  Callum stood there and watched as this guy pulled Kate, his Kate, into his arms and kissed her softly. He instantly took another couple of steps closer and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. It was in that moment, it became clear to him, he had lost her. His beautiful Kate. Witho
ut saying a word he turned and made his way back to the car. He slipped the keys into the ignition and was just about to start the engine, when he saw the guy walking down the path. He looked up at Kate and saw her standing at the front door of the house, and she was smiling. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen her smile like that. He had almost forgotten how truly beautiful she was when she smiled.

  Then the realization hit him. She was smiling like that because of this guy. This stranger had been able to do something Callum himself hadn’t in such a long time. The guy made Kate happy.

  He watched this seemingly, ordinary guy, walk down the street, without a care in the world and he wondered why this guy could make his wife happy, when he clearly couldn’t.

  He turned back towards Kate and his heart ached as he saw the smile on her face fade, and the look of utter sadness, the look he knew all too well, filled her beautiful face, once again.

  Callum considered getting back out of the car and going to her, but his body refused to move. Instead, he watched as she turned and disappeared into the house.

  He sat in the car, staring at the house long after the lights had gone out, with no clue what he should do now. In his head he had imagined this big, wonderful reunion. The reality was, she had left him. He had broken Kate’s, already shattered heart, even further and she had enough.

  Callum closed his eyes and pictured Kate. He could see her beautiful eyes and her breath-taking smile. He remembered her on the night they first met. The moment he saw her, he wanted her. She was possibly the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He remembered how Kate tore into him for skipping her at the bar that night. She was full of spirit. It was the thing he loved the most about her. Her energy and strong mind. When she felt something was wrong or unfair, she called it out. She was fearless.

  Well, she was until the crash.

  Callum thought back to that day. They had been in the backyard with Emily, and Callum had made some stupid comment about Kate giving up work when they had the second baby. Kate laughed at first but then got angry when Callum made a remark about her being a part-time mom.