Somewhere Only We Know

by Beverley Hollowed

  “I…um… I,” Kate struggled, trying to think of a reply, but nothing came.

  “I’m sorry,” Finn said, stopping and turning to Kate. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. It is okay for you to visit my dad whenever you want. I was just curious.”

  He leaned down and softly kissed Kate, then, pulling back slightly, he smiled at her.

  “Would you like to go grab a coffee?” he asked, looking at Kate hopefully. “I know this great little coffee shop not too far from here. They make the nicest biscotti you will ever taste.

  “You mean, right now,” Kate asked, a little surprised by his request. They had just spent the morning together, so she was surprised he wanted to spend more time with her.

  “Eh, yeah,” he laughed. “That’s what, would you like to go grab a coffee, usually means. Unless you have other plans.”

  “No,” she said with a grin. “I have no other plans. I would love to go for a coffee.”

  “Great,” Finn replied happily. “This day off is proving to be a lot more fun than I had thought it would be.”

  Finn reached for Kate’s hand and headed for the local coffee shop. Kate couldn’t help but smile at the big, satisfied look on his face.

  Kate’s head was filled with so many different thoughts right in that moment. She thought about Jack and about his secret, as she glanced over at Finn, she wondered how he would take the news of his father’s illness.

  She thought about her own father, what she would do if he was sick. She tried not to dwell on that for too long. She had already suffered enough loss in her life. She prayed she wouldn’t have to face that again for a long time to come.

  Finally, she thought about Callum, she wondered what he would think if he knew she was going for coffee with another man.

  It’s just coffee! She mentally scolded herself. She was doing nothing wrong. Besides, she and Callum were over, even if he hadn’t accepted that fact yet.

  Then the thought occurred to her. Callum hadn’t called her in two days. He had called her endlessly for three weeks, even though she never answered, still he never gave up. That was until now. She tried not to notice the tiny pang of sadness she felt at this fact. Clearly, he had finally gotten the message. They were over.

  Chapter 15

  When they reached the coffee shop, the girl behind the counter greeted Finn very warmly. Kate thought, probably a little too warmly and she wondered if there was some kind of history between the two.

  “Hey Sophie, how’s Cooper?” Finn asked the girl as she gathered up the menus and made her way around the counter.

  “He is getting a big as a house,” she laughed. “Still eating my shoes. He is due a check-up in a couple of weeks”

  She smiled brightly at Kate and led them both to a table near the window.

  “I will just leave you both to have a look at the menus and I will be right back to take your order,” she said and Kate noticed, that she pressed her hand on Finn’s upper arm, leaving it there a little longer than she really should have. It was clear, this girl liked Finn.

  Kate couldn’t help but think that Finn should be here with someone more like Sophie. Someone who clearly felt about Finn, in a way Kate knew she couldn’t. The way she had once felt about Callum.

  She tried to push all these thoughts from her head and enjoy a coffee with a friend, nothing more. How she did or didn’t feel about Finn was irrelevant. She quickly picked up the menu and stared at it, trying to focus on that and nothing else.

  “Are you okay?” He asked, looking at her strangely.

  “Yeah,” she replied, giving him the biggest smile she could. “I’m just trying to decide on what to order. I can’t decide if I want a blueberry muffin or give this famous biscotti a go.”

  “Why not be a rebel,” Finn leaned forward and mock whispered. “Order both.”

  Kate laughed out loud and finally felt herself relax.

  When Sophie came back, Finn ordered two lattes, two blueberry muffins and two of the biscotti.

  “So, who is Cooper and why is he eating her shoes?” Kate asked when Sophie brought them their order and had left them alone once again.

  Finn laughed out loud as he broke off a bit of his biscotti and popped it into his mouth.

  “Cooper, is her Great Dane,” he explained when he swallowed his food. “He is almost a year old and he has eaten through over a dozen pairs of her shoes now.”

  “Oh dear,” Kate laughed. “So, what made you want to be a vet?”

  “Well my mom was a receptionist in the local vets,” Finn replied. “As a kid, I spent all my free time down at the practise. I love animals, so it seemed like the natural progression.”

  “What did your dad do?” she asked, wanting to know more about Finn and his family.

  “He was a school teacher,” Finn told her. “Everybody loved him in the school. He retired when Mom got sick. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could.”

  Finn didn’t say anything else for a moment and Kate could see the sadness in his eyes. She knew he still missed his mom and she wondered how he would deal with the fact he was going to lose his dad too.

  “How long was your mom sick for?” Kate asked, unsure if she should push it or not.

  “Not quite four months,” Finn replied. “And they passed so quickly, too quickly.”

  “I can imagine,” Kate replied.

  “What about you,” Finn asked looking straight at Kate. “What about your folks? Are they still back in Ireland?”

  “My dad is,” Kate replied. “So are my twin brothers Dara and Shea. My mom died when I was eighteen. It was about two weeks before Christmas, we were going shopping to buy Dad his Christmas present. We were just heading out the door and she said she forgot her purse. She ran back upstairs to get it. That’s when I heard a crash and when I went up to check on her, she was face down on her bedroom floor. They said it was a brain haemorrhage.”

  “Oh Kate,” Finn replied sadly. “That must have been so horrible for you.”

  “It was hard,” Kate said and took a sip of her coffee. “Especially on the twins, they were only thirteen when she died. But it was a long time ago now.”

  “Still must have been hard for you,” Finn replied, as he picked at his muffin.

  “Yeah I guess, but you learn to adapt,” Kate said and thought about how, what she said, was complete crap. When you lose someone you love, there is no adapting, there is simply just carrying on, and it doesn’t matter how hard you try or how much time you give yourself, you don’t adapt. You just learn to live with the pain, because it never goes away.

  There isn’t a day that goes by, that she doesn’t think of her mother and wish she was still with her. Especially after she lost Emily, she wished her mom was there to tell her what to do, how to cope, how to move on.

  Then Emily filled her thoughts. She hasn’t even begun to learn how to deal with the loss of her beautiful little girl, and in her heart she knew, she never would. She will always wonder what she would have become, what she would think of different things.

  Then she thought about all the things she would never get to do. She would never go to college, she would never have her first kiss, she would never have her heart broken, and she would never fall in love.

  Kate quickly shut those thoughts down but she could feel her chest tighten and her breathe become a little quicker.

  “Excuse me,” she said, as she stood up suddenly. “I…eh… I need to use the bathroom.”

  Before Finn could reply, Kate hurried towards the back of the restaurant, hoping she was going in the right directions to the ladies toilets. Thankfully, she had.

  She hurried into the bathroom and straight into a cubical, locking the door behind her. By now, her heart was racing so fast she was sure it was about to burst out of her chest.

  She sat on the loo, closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on her breathing. The last thing she wanted to do was lose it in a busy restaurant.

  She could hea
r her heart beat in her ears, so she concentrated on that and her breathing until she could feel herself begin to calm down. She refused to give into the tears that were stinging her eyes.

  Finally, she was breathing normally again and felt ready to go and face Finn once again. She pulled some tissue from the dispenser and blew her nose. She stood up and threw the tissue into the toilet, hit the flush, then straightened her clothes before she opened the latch.

  When the door opened, she froze in complete shock when she saw Finn standing there, leaning against the sink with his arms crossed and a strange look on his face.

  Kate stepped out from the bathroom stall and walked to the sink next to where Finn was standing, to wash her hands.

  “Are you okay? Finn asked, turning so he was looking straight down at Kate.

  “I’m fine,” Kate lied. “Do you often make it a habit of following women into public bathrooms?”

  “Only the woman who drive me crazy,” Finn replied with a half laugh, but he was still watching Kate very closely. “So, are you going to tell me what that was all about?”

  “All what?” Kate asked, looking him in the eye.

  “Kate, I know there is a lot about you I don’t know.” Finn said, pulling her closer to him. “I know there is something you are not telling me. I just want to say you can trust me and that if there was anything at all, you wanted to talk about, I am happy to listen.”

  “Finn,” Kate said, as she reached up and brushed a loose strand of hair from his face. “I am not the girl for you. You deserve someone like Sophie out there. Someone who is happy and uncomplicated. You don’t want me. No one wants me.”

  “How about you let me be the judge of that,” he said and he pulled her closer to him and calmed her mouth with his.

  He pressed his hand against the small of her back and she could feel how much he wanted her. Kate finally stopped fighting it. She slipped her hand up his broad chest and around his neck. She kissed him harder and deeper.

  “Wow,” he said when they finally broke away, breathlessly, from each other.

  “What the hell am I doing?” Kate asked as Finn leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers. “This is complete madness.”

  “I think you are stealing my heart, Ms. Greyson,” Finn replied and looked deep into Kate’s eyes.

  “You don’t want to fall in love with me, Finn,” Kate pleaded. “There is so much about me you don’t know, so much that I just can’t begin to find the words to tell you.”

  “It doesn’t matter what you say,” Finn replied as he inched closer to her once again. “The only thing that matters to me is you.”

  Before she could answer, he claimed her mouth with his once more.

  An hour later, as they were walking back towards Kate’s house, Finn reached down and took Kate’s hand once again.

  She looked up and smiled at him. He really was the sweetest guy she had ever met.

  They came to a set of traffic lights, and they stood side by side waiting for the light to change so they could cross.

  Finn bent down and brushed his lips against Kate’s.

  “You really are very beautiful Katie,” he whispered. Kate froze at his words. He had called her Katie. The only person that had ever called her Katie, was Callum.

  What the hell am I doing? She thought to herself. You are playing with fire. What will he think of you, when he finds out the truth?

  “I can’t do this,” she said. Then without saying another word, she turned and headed towards her house, her speed picking up with every step.

  “Kate, wait” Finn called out as he hurried after her but she didn’t slow down. “Have I said something wrong?”

  She didn’t reply.

  “KATE, STOP,” Finn yelled as he reached her and took hold of her arm. “Talk to me.”

  “There is nothing to say,” Kate said, refusing to let her eyes meet his. “Just…just forget about me Finn. I am not who you think I am. You really don’t want to go there, trust me.”

  Before he could answer her, she turned and walked away. This time he didn’t follow her and for that, Kate was grateful.

  By the time she reached her house, she could feel a panic attack take hold once again. She rushed inside, slamming the door behind her. She somehow manage to reach the sofa as she gasped for air, her chest tightening and her heart racing faster and faster, like it was about to burst out of her chest.

  Kate closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. When it finally began to settle down, it gave way to tears. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

  She wasn’t really sure why she was crying. The truth was, it was a dozen different reasons. She missed Callum, she missed her beautiful Emily so much it was unbearable. She was sad for Jack and for his family. What they were facing was such a hard journey, and one they didn’t deserve.

  Finally she cried for Finn. She liked him, she really did, and Kate knew he liked her. However, she knew if she didn’t stop it now, someone would get hurt. She wasn’t the person he thought she was. She wasn’t the person he deserved.

  If she was being really honest, she knew her heart could never be truly his because it belonged to Callum. It always would.

  Chapter 16

  James stepped into beautifully decorated lobby of the Grand Hyatt, Seattle, relieved he was finally here. It had been four days since he had heard from Callum. He had rang him over and over again, but he never got an answer.

  When he called the hotel, all they could tell him was he hadn’t checked out yet and there was no reply to the phone when they called the room. James had asked them to check the room, but they said they really weren’t comfortable invading Callum’s privacy.

  So, James jumped on the first plane he could book and headed straight to Seattle. His gut told him, his little brother needed his help.

  He made his way to the concierge and smiled brightly at the pretty girl behind the desk.

  “Welcome to the Grand Hyatt sir,” she chirped brightly when James reached her desk. “How may I help you today?”

  “My brother, Callum Greyson, is a guest here,” James said matter-of-factly. “I need to check on him.”

  “Oh, uh…” she replied a little thrown by his response. “Do you have his room number?”

  “No,” James replied and he knew she was going to give him a big lecture about the policy of the hotel and the privacy of their guest. He had heard it several times over the phone. So, before she could begin her rehearsed response, he cut her off. “Listen, before you tell me all about your guest privacy policies, let me introduce myself.”

  He pulled his business card from his pocket and handed it to the girl.

  “I am a partner in Turner, Hodges and Greyson,” he knew he was coming across as an arrogant dick, but he really didn’t care, he needed to make sure Callum was okay and if this was the only way, then so be it. “We are one of San Francisco’s largest and most successful Law firms. Now I know you have your policies, rules and regulations, but that is my brother up there, and if anything has happened to him, I will hold you people personally responsible and I will drag you through every court in this country if I have to. Now get someone from housekeeping to accompany me up to my brother’s room and let me in.”

  Without saying a word, she picked up the phone and began dialling. Five minutes later, James was stepping out of the elevator on the fifth floor, following a very nervous looking young woman, with a key card in her hand for Callum’s room. When they reached the door, the first thing James noted was the “Do Not Disturb” notice, hanging from the door handle.

  The girl knocked softly on the door and called out, “Housekeeping.”

  She waited for a moment, before she turned back to James and waited for his go ahead to proceed. James nodded and the young woman inserted the room key into the lock and the little red light turned green.

  The girl stepped back and allowed James access to the room.

  “Thank you,” James said before he stepped in
side cautiously. The first thing that hit James, was the stench of rotten food and alcohol. His stomach heaved, as the smell invaded his senses. There were three old plates of uneaten food on the floor, surrounded with, what looked like the empty contents of the mini bar. The curtains were closed, leaving the room in darkness. The only light that was in the room was emanating from the bathroom door, which was slightly ajar.

  James took a step towards the bathroom door, but stopped when he kicked something and an empty bottle of Jack Daniels was sent shooting across the floor, crashing into yet another empty bottle.

  James, could feel the bile rise in his throat as fear suddenly gripped him. He knew when he last spoke to Callum, that he was hurting badly.

  He thought back to just after Kate and Callum lost Emily. Callum had become a tower of strength for his Kate. However, as time passed, little by little, the cracks began to show. He knew Kate had completely withdrawn and that Callum was struggling hard to cope.

  James had always been afraid it would be Kate that would do something stupid, but having lost Emily and now Kate, James knew that Callum was broken and he feared the worst.

  He took a deep breath, before he pushed open the bathroom door. The brightness of the bathroom, after the darkness of the bedroom, was hard on James’ eyes and it took a samoment for them to adjust. Finally, when they did, his eyes fell to the slumped mess that was his little brother in the corner of the bathroom, dressed in only boxer shorts and socks. The stench of vomit was overwhelming, making James’ stomach heave once again.

  “Callum!” James exclaimed, as he hurried to his brother’s side. Carefully kneeling down next to him, taking care not to kneel in one of the several small pools of vomit. “Cal, it’s me. Come on buddy,” James softly shook Callum, but got no reaction what so ever from him.

  “CALLUM!” This time the urgency in his voice was clearer. He slapped him lightly on the face trying to rouse a response. “CALLUM, WAKE UP!”

  “UGGHHH,” Callum groaned, but didn’t budge.