In the Darkest Hour

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  Asher didn’t feel so out of place here. There were other soldiers, other men who looked as withdrawn and on edge as him, plus ones who were missing limbs. As he glanced around him and sipped a bottle of water, his eyes landed on the backside of a woman. Tight jeans, full, round ass, narrow waist, muscular, toned arms in a sleeveless black blouse, and black low heeled boots. The platinum blonde hair gave away who it had to be, and she of course had four guys surrounding her. She was sipping a glass of wine. They were drinking beers, staring at her. Hell, gawking at her chest, nudging her any chance they got, and it bothered him for no damn good reason. When he saw Magnar and Gordo approach and interrupt the conversation, his emotions, his inner reaction, surprised him. He smirked to himself and then he felt aroused. He readjusted his position by the set of couches where other people sat. Czeck was right next to him and watching the scene a few feet away.

  Manger and Czeck interrupted the conversation, and he placed a hand on her waist, leaned down, and kissed her cheek hello. She reacted, engaged, reciprocating the welcome and even placed her hand on his forearm, before smiling up at Gordo.

  He took a few unsteady breaths. What made that damn woman so special? So what she was fucking hot, had a killer body, and was a doctor? What the hell.

  When he felt the hand on his shoulder, then heard the deep voice, he lost focus on the scene before him.

  “It’s good to see you men here. How is the house? You all moved in and feeling at home yet?” Mick asked them, and Hunt was right next to him.

  “It’s great, and there’s plenty of room for all of us,” Asher told him.

  “That’s good to hear. We haven’t seen you guys at any of the retreats. When are you going to enjoy the fun?” Hunt asked.

  “We’re still trying to get over some of these fucking injuries,” Czeck said.

  “Well you both look great and you’re here tonight. So enjoy, and make sure to grab some food. We have plenty,” Hunt said, and then they walked away.

  Asher looked for Magnar, Gordo, and Alaska and they were walking with her inside the house. Czeck gave his arm a tap. “Let’s grab some food, then find a nice corner and wait for Magnar and Gordo to leave.”

  They headed towards the house. It was a really nice set up. Fit for an army of men, the tale could seat thirty easily. It was huge inside, and the doorway was large where the open kitchen was. He caught sight of Magnar and Gordo talking to Alaska as they found a place to sit and eat. There were two empty chairs near them, and one look from Gordo and he would save the seats. They both grabbed food and limped their way towards the table. His eyes landed on Alaska, the low dip in her top that exposed some seriously deep cleavage, that pushed against the opening of her top, as well as that gorgeous face. The woman was pure beauty, and wore hardly any makeup. Just some lip-gloss maybe and mascara, that was about it.

  “Good evening, Czeck, Asher. So glad you made it. Can you believe all this food?” she asked and smiled.

  “It’s a nice spread,” Czeck said. Then two other guys walked over and sat right next to Alaska.

  “Hey, Alaska I think I need some serious therapy. You know, some one on one. How can I sign up with you?” the one guy asked, and licked his lower lip and was totally hitting on her right there in front of all of them. The dicks bypassed Asher and Czeck as if they didn’t stand a chance with Alaska. Was it because Asher had one leg, and these guys had all their limbs? His blood began to boil.

  “Gerry, you’re such an ass. Besides, I’m not a therapist,” Alaska replied with a little bit of attitude and very quickly, like a woman used to being hit on.

  “But you’re so easy to talk to,” Gerry said to her.

  “And to look at,” His buddy said, and Magnar cleared his throat.

  “Do you mind?” Magnar asked with attitude. The guys got quiet and then Magnar locked gazes with Alaska.

  She then looked at Asher. “I have an opening tomorrow at noon time. Interested?” she asked.

  He held her gaze. “Not sure I can make it,” he said, but Asher held her gaze and she stared into his eyes and it felt like she could see right through that wall he had up. His curiosity about her was getting too hard to resist. However, he knew it was just her doing her job and nothing more. That upset him and he didn’t know why.

  “I’ll take his spot if it means time with you,” Gerry said.

  “Take a hike,” Czeck snapped firmly to Gerry and his buddy.

  Czeck was a big guy like the rest of the team. Wide shoulders, muscles upon muscles, and a killer expression that warned most people with any common sense to run for the hills. These guys weren’t as stupid as they seemed. They immediately got up as Czeck, Gordo, Magnar, and Asher gave them the stare down.

  Alaska leaned back in her chair, and stared at him and Magnar, raising her eyebrows in question and looking way hotter than any woman Asher ever laid eyes on. She smelled really good, too. Like he wished he had taken the seat right next to her to inhale some more of that pleasant scent.

  “What? They had it coming. They were assholes and hitting on you. They should show some respect,” Magnar said.

  “They were idiots, but you all didn’t need to do that. I can take care of myself,” she replied.

  “Why should you have to be on the defensive and deal with men like that?” Gordo asked, and then took a bite of the food that was on his plate.

  “I suppose you have a point. However, I’ve been dealing with men like that for quite some time. Kind of comes with the territory,” she said to them.

  “Men you work with hitting on and trying to get you into bed is a common practice?” Czeck asked her.

  She chuckled, then leaned forward and held his gaze. “Seeing a woman and thinking you have every right to hit on her and think she’ll go all gaga for those muscles and military attitude a regular thing for all of you?” she asked and looked annoyed.

  “First of all, not just a woman. She’d have to be real special. Good looking, sexy, tough, and capable to get me to hit on her,” Czeck said, and let his eyes roam over her body.

  “Tough too, and of course there would need to be an attraction. Don’t have that, then it’s just screwing and nothing more,” Gordo stated.

  Her cheeks warmed and she exhaled. “Yup, definitely a common practice in the field for a lot of folks,” she said and looked away.

  Asher stared at her, and as she stood up, he realized that they somehow pissed her off and made her think they wanted to just screw her. Magnar was up out of his seat and behind her placing his hands on her shoulders. She tilted up, seemingly shocked at his quickness and he held her gaze.

  “Not what we’re after, Alaska. We’re enjoying talking to you, letting my team get to know you and how special you are.”

  “Magnar.”

  “No,” he said firmly, and she sealed her lips. In that position, she was slightly turned and Asher had a perfect view at the hint of deep cleavage as her blouse parted. She wore something silky and black to match the top she wore. Her arms were defined even in a relaxed state not flexing or in motion. He could only imagine what she might look like naked. Dips, ridges of muscles, tight abs, full breasts, firm, round, sexy ass. His cock hardened and he felt excited, aroused, and when he went to readjust his position in the seat, he felt his leg and suddenly, his emotions change. He felt as if he weren’t good enough, wasn’t whole or a real man. She was fucking hot, incredibly smart, capable, a ten plus. Asher looked away and then pushed on the table to get up. He nearly stumbled, but Czeck grabbed him.

  “I’m good,” Asher snapped at him.

  Czeck pulled back and Asher walked away. He was pissed off and ready to fucking hit someone. He wished that fucking guy Gerry or his friend was around. He’d take out his anger on them for shit sure. He headed to the side porch. It was empty and he leaned against the wall and just breathed.

  Alaska stood up and Magnar placed his hands on her hips and pulled her close. She gasped. “Magnar, please.”

  “You feel it.
I know you do,” he said to her.

  She stared up into his dark green eyes. “Now is not the time.”

  “Then when?” Gordo asked. She turned to look at him and Magnar pulled her closer. He inhaled against her neck and she felt his warm, firm lips press against her skin. She gripped him but stared at Gordo, and it was like they were both touching her, kissing her, affecting her. She looked at Czeck who stood, hands in his pockets, squinting, on guard and the reality of their state, their current position, and recent retirement sunk in.

  She pulled back and held onto Magnar’s forearms. “You and your team are in a critical transitioning stage. There are a lot of emotions going on, healing still—"

  “Don’t fucking do that. Don’t start putting that medical mumbo jumbo shit in here right now. This is taking a lot for us to stand here and actually admit what we are all feeling. Don’t fucking do that,” Czeck snapped at her.

  She squinted at him and then held his gaze. “I’m not, but I’m also not going to just react without thinking, without processing what may or may not be happening here.”

  “Don’t overanalyze it,” Gordo said to her.

  “Asher is rather volatile. I don’t think he should be pushed in any direction right now.”

  “Asher will be fine. He’s going through what most soldiers go through when they lose limbs and are trying to feel strong and whole when they aren’t. He’s tough,” Magnar said to her.

  “He’s hurting, just as you are Czeck, as well as you, Gordo, and you, Magnar. I’m going to go talk to Asher, convince him to come see me tomorrow to talk and figure out where I can help him best.”

  “I know where you could help him and all of us best, by spending time with us and exploring these feelings,” Magnar said to her.

  She exhaled and then looked at them. “I think it’s best that we handle our priorities first. Excuse me,” she said, and as she walked away, she heard Czeck curse.

  She wasn’t denying the instant attraction she felt to all four men, including Asher, who definitely was dealing with some self-confidence issues. It was normal, and she didn’t see him as less of a man because he lost his leg in that explosion. In fact, because of their injuries and what they all survived together as a team, aroused her and made her feel proud of them and encouraged that they were strong, fierce soldiers, but now it was time to settle down. To start living life, because they’d survived all those battles and made it out alive when others didn’t.

  She made her way through the house and finally spotted Asher leaning against the wall by the railing on the side porch where no one was. Her presence was immediately known as the floor creaked and he turned to look her way. He eyed her over in anger and she felt upset about that.

  “Needed a break from the party?” she asked and moved closer, but not too close. She really needed to maintain some kind of professionalism here.

  He didn’t answer her or look at her. She leaned back against the railing a few feet away from him. “So, what do you like most about Warrior’s Way? I think I like the food spread the best when they have these events. God knows home cooked meals are hard to come by. I think now that I’m retired, I might start cooking more. Do you like to cook?”

  “Don’t fucking do that,” he snapped at her and stepped toward her. She gripped the railing tighter, and was not quite ready to defend herself against him. “Don’t come over here trying to act like a counselor, like someone who just wants to know if I’m doing okay, if I’m handling being here, being less of man, a fucking cripple. Fucking don’t do that.” He raised his voice.

  She kept as calm as she could. He was a big man, had a lot of muscles, shoulder length brown hair that made him look wild and untamed, and those killer deep blue eyes like navy added to that lethal look of his. “I wouldn’t do that. That isn’t what I’m doing. You’re upset, angry, and I hope it wasn’t from something I said or did back there.”

  He was in front of her, caged her in against the railing, his hands on either side, his teeth clenched as he loomed over her and stared into her eyes. His cologne engulfed her senses, his lethal, capable attitude, and the feel of thick, solid body against hers as well as one thick leg and one prosthetic device against her thighs. He was breathing through his nostrils. “They want you. They instantly feel this attraction to you and you’re holding back because of me. Because I can’t give you what they can,” he said to her, and she could sense the hurt in his voice.

  She held his gaze. “What are you talking about, Asher? I just told Magnar that now isn’t a good time. We’re all recently retired, we all are going through things, trying to process—"

  “Bullshit! You’re giving me, us, a line of fucking bullshit, Doc. Just fucking admit that it’s because I have one fucking leg and it turns you off that you won’t give into the attraction?”

  “Oh man, all you men are the same,” she said and went to move.

  He pressed closer and wrapped his arm around her waist and she gasped. “What the fuck does that mean?” he asked.

  “It means you all are so hung up on what you want, what you feel. How about what the woman, what others around you may be feeling or wanting, huh? You think I care that you have one leg, that it would make me not want to be close to you or kiss you? Do you?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s fucking bullshit. That’s your copout because you don’t want to feel vulnerable. You don’t want to feel or show weakness in front of anyone. In front of a woman, in front of me, in front of your team or any other men. So don’t go blaming this on me and my rational thought process saying to slow things down and not to jump right into some kind of an attraction when it would be nothing but loneliness or lust, or both.”

  “Loneliness? You don’t even know what that is. What it’s like to wake up and learn that some doctor took your leg because the damage was so bad and now your life is different. Your independence is gone, your strength and heart and will to live is challenged on a daily basis. You don’t fucking know,” he said and stepped back.

  She grabbed him by his shirt by the fistful. She tilted her head back and stared up at the six feet four monstrosity of a man and let loose. “You don’t think I know? I know more than you will ever know or feel about any of it, and do you want to know why, Asher? Because I was a trauma surgeon in Baghdad. I had to make those decisions of taking one, two, three, and even four limbs from a strong, capable, superior soldier or lose him on that table. I’ve had to cut out shrapnel from thighs, from stomachs, from faces, and so much fucking more, and do you think I wasn’t affected by that? Do you think those decisions to an amputate came easy? No!” She shoved at his chest and turned a moment and saw Magnar, Gordo, and Czeck standing there, eyes scrunched together and looking shocked and angry. But then Asher pulled her back toward him to face him. He cupped her cheeks and held her gaze. She grabbed onto his wrists.

  “You do understand. Holy fuck. You do,” he said, and then pressed his lips to hers and kissed her. He kissed her so hard on the mouth, so deeply, that she stumbled backwards only for him to wrap her up tight, turn her, and then she felt the second set of hands on her.

  “You’re incredible,” Magnar said, and he began to kiss her neck as Asher deepened the kiss and plunged his tongue in exploration and moaned into her mouth. When he finally released her lips, they were panting for breath, but then Magnar turned her toward him and he started to kiss her. It was wild, crazy and she felt the same intense, deep desire for Magnar when he kissed her that she did for Asher. She couldn’t think, all she could do was feel. When Magnar released her, Czeck took his place and he kissed her, and pressed her up against Gordo, who slid his palm up her shirt to her breast and cupped it. He suckled against her neck and she felt her pussy spasm. She moaned into Czeck’s mouth, and then he released her lips, and Gordo kissed her next. She felt exhausted, spent, and when he finished kissing her, he held her against his chest and she wrapped one arm around his waist and reached out to Asher. Asher brought her fingers to his lips and
kissed her knuckles.