Her New Worst Enemy

by Christy McKellen

  • • •

  The journey home was mostly conducted in silence. Penny stared out of the window, only turning occasionally to answer one of Ellie’s lame questions on any subject she could dredge up that wouldn’t remind her friend of Will. Ellie gave up in the end and sat in silence, alternating between staring at the back of Gideon’s head in the driver’s seat in front of her, and the scenery out of her window.

  A deep sense of loss washed over her at the thought that there would be no more sex with Gideon. No more ribbing him about his multi-faceted love life — that wouldn’t be a subject they could discuss any more without it becoming awkward. She was going to miss him. To miss his gentle teasing and his come-to-bed eyes. The thought of seeing him with someone else made her chest tighten and her blood race, so she tried not to think about it and focus instead on how she was going to help Penny get through the next few painful months.

  If she’d known how much Penny loved and needed Will, she never would have interfered. “Be careful what you wish for,” Gideon had said, and he’d been absolutely right. She should have stayed well out of it. Perhaps if she’d been more welcoming, Will would have given things another chance.

  She couldn’t think like that though, it would drive her crazy. It was done and there wasn’t any way she could change things now.

  Gideon finally drew up in front of Penny’s house and pulled on the handbrake. He turned to look at Penny and she smiled stoically back at him.

  “You sure you want to go home? I bet Ellie would be happy to have you at her place,” he said.

  “No, I have to go in some time and face being there without Will. It may as well be sooner rather than later. I’m not going to allow this thing to chase me out of my own home,” she said with a determined ring to her voice. Ellie was in total awe of how strong her friend was in the face of heartbreak. If anyone had asked her how she thought Penny would take something like this, she would have said very badly.

  But then that was the difference between them; Penny was a lot stronger than she was. Penny wouldn’t wallow in selfish solitude for six months like she had. Or push her friends and family away when they tried to help.

  Well, Ellie was determined not to let herself get into that state again, because if there was one thing she’d learned this weekend, it was that she was incredibly lucky to have people who cared about her.

  “Do you want me to come in with you? I can stay the night if you like,” she said, already putting her hand on the door handle.

  “No. I just want some time to myself.”

  “Oh. Okay.” She nodded slowly, trying not to show how hurt she was by her friend’s rejection. Perhaps she deserved it after what she’d done. “You know, Pen, maybe if I talked to him I could smooth things out … ”

  “No.” Penny’s voice was hard now. “Just leave it alone, Ellie.”

  She nodded quickly and put her hands back in her lap. Gideon shifted in his seat in front of her but didn’t say anything. She knew what he must be thinking. He’d warned her this might happen. Why hadn’t she listened to him?

  Penny leaned across and kissed Gideon on the cheek. “Thanks for bringing me back.”

  He gave her a small nod. “No problem. Take care of yourself, okay.”

  Penny gave him a weak smile before exiting the car.

  They watched her in silence as she mounted the steps to her house and let herself in through her front door.

  “Home then?” Gideon said, once Penny had disappeared from view, using the rear-view mirror to look at her.

  “Yes,” she said, knowing it was useless to expect anything more from him and determined not to embarrass herself by asking for it.

  “Get in the front then,” he said, giving her a grin.

  She climbed between the seats into the front and did up her seatbelt. When she turned to look at him, he was smiling in bemusement.

  “What?” she said, frowning at him in surprise.

  “Nothing.” He started the engine and pulled away, heading over to her flat.

  They didn’t talk on the way there and she felt increasingly twitchy as they got closer to their destination. A small voice in her head kept wondering whether he’d change his mind and ask to come in. To suggest they continue what they’d begun, but she didn’t dare ask him in case he said no. She didn’t want to hear it.

  They finally reached her road and Gideon swung into a space, pulling on the handbrake but keeping the engine running.

  So he had no intention of coming in then.

  Her heart sank as she realized this was the moment, the absolute end to her and Gideon and their weekend of fun.

  “Okay then,” she said, leaning in to give him a light kiss on the cheek and allowing herself to breathe him in one last time, to try to imprint his smell on her memory for a rainy day.

  “Okay then,” he replied, giving her his trademark foxy grin. How could he be so unaffected, she wondered. He looked as he always did, relaxed and self-assured. Her gut twisted with pain to see it.

  “So … thanks … for everything,” she said, wanting to say so much more but finding she was totally unable to voice the jumble of thoughts in her head.

  “It was my absolute pleasure,” Gideon said.

  Her eyes were hot with unshed tears so she gave him a quick smile before getting out into the cool afternoon air, slamming the car door behind her and walking swiftly away.

  Chapter Eight

  No matter how hard Ellie stared at her phone for the rest of that week, Gideon didn’t call.

  It wasn’t as if he’d promised to ring, but she couldn’t squash the feeling they needed to speak to each other to smooth over the rough end to the weekend. It certainly hadn’t concluded the way either of them had anticipated.

  She went to call his mobile a couple of times, but stopped herself. Her stupid pride wouldn’t let her.

  Instead, she called her parents and was overwhelmed by how happy they were to hear from her. It felt good to finally tell them everything that happened with Paul. The hurt and humiliation that had kept her from talking to them disappeared once she said it all out loud and she wondered why she’d allowed herself to leave it so long to tell them. After putting down the phone, she felt happier and lighter than she had in a very long time.

  Next she phoned Penny and wouldn’t give up until her friend agreed to let her come over and take care of her. It took her a while, but she finally managed to convince Penny she was truly sorry about not trusting her judgment and she wanted to make it up to her.

  Life was beginning to straighten out again, but to her utter frustration, her treacherous body had left her with a thrumming need to be touched and held and made love to after the intense sexperience at the weekend. Worse than that, she missed Gideon’s company — his wicked sense of humor and the way he made her feel like the most special woman on earth when he talked to her. Thinking about him all the time was making it very difficult to concentrate on anything else.

  As each day passed, she grew more and more distracted until she started making stupid mistakes at work and had to take herself off to one side and give herself a good talking to.

  She was being ridiculous. They’d both agreed that the affair would end when they left the manor, and for a very good reason. There was no future for them as a couple.

  Even though she turned this into a mantra and made herself say it to her reflection in the mirror ten times every hour, the germinating seed of thought that they could make it work somehow, would not be squished.

  Luckily, on Thursday morning one of her friends at work suggested they have a girly night out on Friday, and Ellie jumped at the chance for a distraction from waiting for a phone call that would never come.

  They arranged to meet in a restaurant in town before going out for some drinks and seeing where the night took them.

  The possibility of something new and exciting happening to her helped Ellie begin to say goodbye to her weekend with Gideon, and despite the dragging sadness
at the loss of hope that it would come to anything more, she felt calmer and more focused.

  This would be good. It was exactly what she needed to do now. What Gideon had wanted her to do after waking her up from her selfish, self-pitying stupor.

  She was ready to take the next step.

  • • •

  On Friday night, Ellie was hooking a hoop through her ear when a loud knock at the door made her jump. She went to ask the taxi driver to wait since he was early and she wasn’t quite ready yet.

  Gideon stood on her doorstep, smiling down at her as she stared open-mouthed at him.

  He was wearing a dark gray Italian suit, his white shirt pulled open at the collar flashing a vee of tanned skin beneath it.

  Her throat constricted and the low ache that had plagued her for the entire week intensified until her whole body jumped with nerves.

  “Hey, Ellie,” he said as his gaze dropped from her face, down her body to her shoes. “Going out?”

  She shifted her feet, wondering if she’d overdone it with the outfit and crossed the line from sexy into tarty.

  “You look gorgeous,” he said, his voice deep and low and his pupils large.

  Relief washed though her. Not tarty then.

  “Where have you been?” she asked before she could check herself. He was right; subtlety really wasn’t one of her strengths.

  “Scotland. I had some business there.”

  “Oh. Right,” she said, nodding stupidly.

  Gideon’s mouth twitched at the corner, his expression bemused. “Can I come in? I’ve got something to tell you.”

  “Yes, of course,” she said, backing up to let him in to the hallway. As she led him into her tiny living room, her heart raced with excitement. Was he going to suggest they carry on with their affair? Her insides were a jumble of apprehension and longing. It would be typical for him to mix her up again just when she’d convinced herself she was better off finding someone who was interested in settling down and having a grown-up relationship.

  What would she say to him if he made the suggestion? She had no idea how she’d deal with it. Could she consider a future with Gideon, or would she be foolish to even think he’d be interested in anything long-term?

  He sat down on her sofa, pulling a magazine and a dirty plate out from under him and cocking an eyebrow at her untidiness, before tossing them onto the coffee table.

  Ellie sat down opposite him in her big squashy armchair, kicking her shoes off and drawing her feet up, tucking them under her. She waited for him to speak, her hands shaking in her lap.

  “I found Will,” he said, and she blinked at him slowly, trying to process what he was saying. “He was staying with a friend in Edinburgh,” Gideon continued, oblivious to the churning disappointment going on inside her. “We talked and I think I convinced him to come back and give it another try with Penny. He’s a good guy, Ellie — he’s got some issues to deal with, but I think he really loves her.”

  He waited for a response, his expression going from expectation to confusion. “That’s what you wanted, right? For them to give it another go.”

  “Yes, yes … ” she blurted, nodding and giving him a weak smile, trying to appear pleased.

  Gideon frowned at her. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, his gaze raking her face.

  “Of course,” she answered, her words sounding over-bright to her ears. Despite being happy to hear the good news about Will and Penny, a hard lump began to form in her throat as she realized he wasn’t here to continue their affair, and she had trouble swallowing it down. Hot tears burned in the back of her eyes, but she refused to let them come in front of him.

  It was good he wasn’t here for her, she tried to convince herself. She needed to move on from this. From him.

  “That’s great, Gideon. Penny will be over the moon,” she managed to struggle out.

  “Yeah, well, I wanted to let you know so you can stop beating yourself up about it.”

  “Thank you.” She gave him a confident smile, blinking the tears back rapidly.

  Silence filled the room as they looked at each other.

  “So,” Gideon said, breaking the uneasy atmosphere that had fallen between them. “I’d better leave and let you go out.”

  Ellie nodded and forced a smile, but all the while, a voice in her head screamed at her to stop him. To do whatever it took to prevent him from walking out of the door, because she was pretty damn sure this would be her one and only chance.

  He got up and strode toward the living room door as the internal battle raged in her head. Five more seconds and he would be gone. She stood up, too, and followed him toward the door.

  As he turned to look at her, she felt a lurch of sadness to see that his eyes were hard and his expression closed.

  “Think you’ll find your future husband tonight?” he asked, a rough edge to his voice. He quirked an eyebrow to show her he was joking, but his words fell flat and her stomach plummeted to her knees as the last drop of excitement she’d felt earlier drained out of her.

  • • •

  Gideon groaned inside and almost punched the wall in frustration at the idiocy of his question. What a stupid thing to say to her. What the hell had compelled him?

  He knew, of course, what it was.

  As soon as she’d opened the door and stood there looking up at him with those big, blue eyes, he knew he’d made a mistake coming here. He should have done this over the phone. That way he wouldn’t have had to see those long curvaceous legs or her high full breasts that fitted so neatly into her low-necked top. He wouldn’t have had her intoxicating, sweet-honey smell in his nostrils or the low, dark pull of longing in his chest.

  At the time, he’d thought their bargain to end the fling when they left the house was a good one, but for the last week he’d felt so frustrated being away from her he was almost convinced he was going insane.

  He wanted her so much. He needed to be inside her again. He missed being with her.

  Ellie looked back at him with a questioning frown. Her mouth parted for a second, and he saw the flick of her tongue against her teeth and he totally lost it.

  Striding forward, he pushed her back against the wall, his body hard against hers, and brought his lips down to hers, forcing them open so he could slip his tongue into her sweet mouth.

  He threaded his fingers into her hair, grabbing fistfuls of it and holding her head still so he could kiss her more thoroughly.

  She wriggled against him, her firm breasts pushed up hard against his chest, and kissed him back.

  At the moment he’d moved toward her he hadn’t stopped to wonder what her reaction would be — hadn’t even cared — but an intense excitement pounded through him as she kissed him back furiously, matching his passion and need.

  She smelled so good, felt so soft and hot against him, he lost himself in the moment, not allowing his usually analytical brain to question his actions.

  Her hands were on his belt, fumbling with the buckle and he knocked them away in his haste to release himself from his clothing.

  Ellie’s hands flew to his face, cupping his jaw and stroking her thumbs over his cheeks possessively as her lips savaged his. Her breath came quickly, heating his skin, and she made a low growling sound in the back of her throat sending his senses into overdrive.

  Finally free of his clothing, he pushed his hands roughly up between her legs, under her skirt, yanking her panties aside to find the damp warmth he knew would be waiting for him. His fingers slipped inside her and she let out another loud groan against his lips.

  “Please,” she whispered pushing herself harder against him. “Please … ”

  After what had felt like the longest week of his life, trying not to think about her, trying not to remember, he’d had enough. She was so wet against his hand, the promise of her hot tightness around him was too much, and he pulled his fingers out of her, lifted her leg under her knee and pushed his cock hard inside her. He slipped up to the hilt eas
ily, her body as desperate for him as his was for her, and he took out his frustration on her, pounding her with his need and his absolute desperation for her.

  She felt so good around him.

  His thrusts lifted her higher up the wall and she wrapped her legs around his back tipping her pelvis for maximum friction against him.

  They moved together, hard and fast, grinding themselves together, trying to get deeper, tighter, closer.

  Her nails dug into the flesh of his shoulders and her body tensed as she climaxed, shouting out his name as she tipped into oblivion.

  He couldn’t hold on any longer and gave in to an orgasm that wracked his body, forcing his eyes shut as a tide of sensation rushed through him, the intensity of it leaving him weak and shaky.

  They held onto each other tightly, both still coming down from their climaxes, their breathing quick and ragged.

  Gideon buried his face into her hair, leaning into the wall to keep them both upright. After a few moments, his strength returned, and he loosened his hold on her and felt her legs unwrap from around his waist.

  Moving back gently, he allowed her to slip down off him and she placed her feet back on the floor and released her grip around his arms.

  He went to pull the condom off and froze.

  It wasn’t there.

  What the hell? Had it come off inside her?

  But he knew it hadn’t. He knew what the heavy sinking in his gut meant.

  He’d forgotten to use a condom. For the first time ever.

  “Ellie?” he said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

  She frowned at him, obviously aware of his anxiety, despite his attempts to hide it. “What is it?”

  “You’re on the pill, right?” he said, clinging on to the hope that it would all be fine and they wouldn’t need to deal with this right now.

  “No,” she said, “I stopped taking it when Paul left.” Her eyes flicked uncertainly between his, her expression questioning, before the meaning of what he’d asked hit her and turned momentarily to shock before relaxing into derision.