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Fuck

Page 16

by Rufus Lodge


  ‘America, Fuck Your Freedom’ (United Satanic Apache Front)

  ‘Fuck Bush’ (Entropia)

  ‘Fuck Fascism’ (The Oppressed)

  ‘Fuck L’Oppression’ (Baba)

  ‘Fuck Peace’ (K-Deejays)

  ‘Fuck Racists’ (Mac-Nut)

  ‘Fuck the Bloody Euro’ (Kick’M Ass)

  ‘Fuck the British’ (New DQT & The Dirty Shirtlifters)

  ‘Fuck the Countryside Alliance’ (Future Of The Left)

  ‘Fuck the KKK’ (The Pricks)

  ‘Fuck the Nazis’ (Zion Train & Neville Staples)

  ‘Fuck the Tories’ (Riot Squad)

  Call Me Enigmatic

  Songs that make you say ‘WTF?’

  ‘What the Fuck Is a Chinese Downhill?’ (Racebannon)

  ‘Fuck the Phenomena’ (Chew Lay)

  ‘Eloquent Carrot House Fuck Up’ (Dejan Milicevic)

  ‘Fear Is Our Crowd, Fuck Sauerkraut’ (Disaster KFW)

  ‘Fuck Gravity’s Rainbow’ (Drvgdealer)

  ‘Fuck Dancing, Let’s Economy’ (Mut!ny)

  ‘Fuck Lacan and Also Freud’ (Svenson)

  ‘Fuck Freud, Let’s Smoke Cigars’ (All Florida)

  ‘Fuck Zhe Postmoderne’ (Laufmasche)

  ‘Fuck Pasteur, This Is Rage!’ (Crossing the Rubicon)

  ‘Thank You Cloud, Fuck You Deerfly’ (Warmth)

  ‘If You’re Claudius, Who The Fuck Is Fortinbras?’ (Jason Pickett)

  At the Zoo

  Songs that say ‘Never fuck with an animal’

  ‘Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)’ (W.A.S.P.)

  ‘I Wanna Fuck a Bull’ (Abimonistas)

  ‘Fuck Bunny’ (The Society Islands)

  ‘Fuck Pitbull’ (Nate The Great)

  ‘The Shark’s Own Private Fuck’ (Sunny Day Real Estate)

  ‘Fuck the Whales’ (Infernal Torment)

  ‘Fuck You and Your Cat’ (Goldfinger)

  ‘We Will Fuck Horses’ (Gerard Baste)

  ‘I’m Gonna Fuck Me a Moose’ (Preschool Tea Party Massacre)

  ‘Go Fuck Yourself with Your Cat on the Roof’ (The Narcotic Daffodils)

  ‘Die, You Big Fuck-Off Spider, Die’ (The Ansion)

  Sexual Healing

  Songs about a fuck to remember

  ‘Amazing Fuck’ (Renee Golemba)

  ‘The Perfect Ass Fuck’ (Master/Slave Relationship)

  ‘Four-Way-Fuck and Suck’ (Meat Shits)

  ‘Fuck U to Death’ (Endgestalt)

  ‘Another Poor Fuck’ (GAS)

  ‘Another Worthless Fuck’ (Furnace)

  ‘Fuck Me, Suck Me, Steal My Bike’ (The Kings of Industry)

  ‘Fuck, I Hope You’re Not Pregnant’ (Hostage Life)

  ‘I Have No Idea How to Fuck’ (Princess Party Mountain)

  ‘Forced to Fuck Myself’ (Witch Hat)

  R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

  Songs that ask: ‘Who are you calling a fucking feminist?’

  ‘Easy Going Girls Are Always One Fuck Away’ (Secondsmile)

  ‘I Wanna Fuck Me Some Hoes’ (Mr Knightowl)

  ‘Immoral Fucking Bitch’ (Spam)

  ‘Fuck This Biatch’ (EmOne)

  ‘Should I Fuck This Big Fat Ho?’ (Blowfly)

  ‘We Fuck Titties Everyday’ (Brett Mounce)

  ‘Fuck Her Up the Ass’ (Mikey Galactic)

  ‘Mike Fucks 300lb Fat Chicks Sober’ (Fuck Face)

  ‘I Never Fuck With Ugly Girl From Togo’ (Chris Hope & Andre Walter)

  ‘Beat the Fuck out of That Worthless Bitch’ (Artery Eruption)

  ‘Rape, Torture, Terminate & Fuck’ (GG Allin)

  Who Exactly Did You Have in Mind?

  Songs that don’t beat around the fucking bush

  ‘I Wanna Fuck My Chick in The Skate Ditch’ (Smogtown)

  ‘I Wanna Fuck Britney Spears’ (The Springfields)

  ‘I Want to Fuck Lily Cole’ (Zippy Kid)

  ‘I Wanna Fuck Ted Nugent’ (Fruit Pie)

  ‘I Wanna Fuck Your Mom’ (The Sleazies)

  ‘I Wanna Fuck Your Dad’ (Blowfly)

  ‘I Want to Fuck Your Girlfriend’ (Cancerslug)

  ‘I Want to Fuck My Ex-Girlfriend’s Friends’ (Jeff Capo)

  ‘I Wanna Fuck All the Girls in My School’ (Bazooka)

  ‘Granny I’d Like to Fuck’ (Tatono)

  Acknowledgements

  Various dictionaries of slang have yielded treasures for this book: hats off to Jonathon Green, Eric Partridge, Nigel Rees, G.A. Wilkes, Robert L. Chapman, and Michael Quinion. Geoffrey Hughes wrote a fascinating history of Swearing; Jesse Sheidlower’s The F-Word is renowned as the definitive etymological survey of the ultimate four-letter word, though I’ve done my best to avoid consulting it, for fear of the temptation of repeating his material.

  Many people have contributed information and/or leads for this book: thanks in particular to Rachel, Rebecca, Catrin, Fred, Clinton, Andrew, and Jörg. Andrew is Andrew Sclanders, proprietor of Beat Books, who specialise in selling the kind of counter-culture and beat poetry books that contain the F-word in great quantity (beatbooks.com).

  Thanks also to Scott Pack and Rachel Faulkner at The Friday Project for believing in the commercial potency of this project; and, most especially, to my agent Rupert Heath, for inventing the original concept, and holding me at gunpoint to write the book. Can I go home now, please?

  More F**k

  As proved by the cult classic Withnail & I, no one says ‘fuck’ quite like an Englishman. Which is why we invited Withnail himself, Richard E. Grant, to record the audio version of this book. For a listening experience as irreverent, captivating and brilliant as the F-word itself, download the F**k audiobook today from all major audio download retailers.

  Copyright

  The Friday Project

  An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers

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  Hammersmith, London W6 8JB

  www.harpercollins.co.uk

  First published by The Friday Project in 2013

  Copyright © Rufus Lodge 2013

  Rufus Lodge asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

  Source ISBN: 9780007522002

  Ebook Edition © September 2013 ISBN: 9780007521999

  Version: 2013-09-09

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