“I want you so much,” he says in a low growl while nibbling at my ear and unclasping my bra. My erect nipples are touching his skin, nothing at all between them and his bare chest.
“Me too,” I answer, already drunk on him, his body, his touch, his emotions, on everything. There is nothing in the world that feels as right as this does.
He leads me toward his bedroom while we remain tangled up in one another, making us nearly stumble and fall before making it to the edge of his bed. It’s there that Evan pulls his head back and really looks at me. His eyes are so heavy and serious, and I imagine mine must look the same way.
“I love you, Paige,” he says, sticking this thumbs in the sides of my panties and pulling down.
“I love you too, Evan,” I easily reply, sliding down to the bed, kicking my panties off and tossing them to the side. I’ve been so focused on his eyes, but when I shift down a bit, I see the bulge in his briefs. He smiles and pulls them down, and I’m amazed at his size, enough to fear for a split second that he may not fit, that a virgin like me won’t be able to take him.
He bends down and lifts me up and over the bed before gently depositing me so that my head is on his pillows. Then he quickly opens the side drawer and pulls out a foil packet, and I know what’s about to happen. I can barely contain the fear and excitement as he rips it open and pulls the condom over his erection.
“I’ll go slow,” he assures me as the weight of his body shifts the bed and he crawls over me, supporting himself with his very strong arms.
I drag my fingers from the curve of his ass to his arched back and all the way up to his broad shoulders. Instinctively, I lift my knees, sliding my feet up the bed and cradling his body. His kisses are intense and needy, and I give him all I have. I feel the push of him on me as he tries to gain entrance, and then the full pressure of him as he guides himself into me. He moans, and I cry out.
There is no denying that for me, there is pain, but it’s something I expected, and in no way does it diminish the feeling of utter rightness as he fills me, the sense that we are joined as we have never been before.
“Are you okay?” he whispers as he begins to gently thrust himself inside of me.
I nod and drag my hands down his sides and hold them just below his hips, helping him control the pressure of his body on mine as I ease into him, the pain subsiding and being replaced by a pure kind of ecstasy.
It’s the first true release I have ever felt in my life, the one I think a girl like me can only feel with a man like Evan inside of her. And by the redness of his face and the sounds of his groans, I know that I’ve made him feel good too. I don’t even want to think of the fact that he’s shared something like this with anyone else or that I came so close to doing the same. I want Evan to forever be the only one.
After he catches his breath and after I’ve come down to earth from the orgasmic clouds he’s sent me into, he pulls me close to him, holding me tighter than he did the night we snuggled together in my bed.
“I can’t ever lose you,” he whispers into my ear.
“No, no you won’t,” I say, and in that moment I believe it to be true.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
EVAN
The Morning After
When I wake to Paige’s naked body tangled with mine and the sweet smile on her face, I’m filled with this rush of happiness at knowing last night wasn’t just a one off. This is just the beginning—I know it.
I run my fingers through her blonde hair, deciding that I now definitely prefer her natural over her being a brunette or a redhead or having that black hair she had back in eighth grade. I mean, all of it was hot, but maybe it wasn’t really Paige.
Gliding my digits over her eyebrows, her smile widens, and she laughs like she’s ticklish there, a fact I’ll have to remember.
She makes me smile too of course, and I tell her, “This is home to me. You and me together—it’s finally home.”
“I’m so glad,” she says, looking up at me. “I always want to be that for you.” She puts her hand at the back of my head, pulling me close to her.
I’m immediately hard, and she seems to notice, sliding her hand down my flank and over my hip while spreading her legs further apart for me. I’ve never felt this much need before, and I fumble for the drawer handle on the night table when she puts a hand over mine.
“We don’t need it,” she says softly, seductively.
“For protection,” I remind her.
“For a baby?” She shrugs, her body underneath mine, looking delectable. “I’m already protected.”
“Birth control pills?” I ask, wanting to be sure.
She nods. For a brief moment I consider she’d started for Garrett’s benefit, but I push that thought out of my head.
“You sure?” I barely get the words out because she’s got me so twisted up just wanting to be inside her, but I have to be positive.
“I’m sure,” she replies, reaching for my shoulders and holding tight.
Her touch makes my entire body tingle, makes my brain feel warm and fuzzy and up in the clouds. And by the time I press down on her full lips with mine, I’ve rooted myself inside of her.
It’s otherworld-like, that most sensitive part of myself dwelling within her, my chest pressed up against her voluptuous breasts, the rest of my body connecting with her smooth, perfect skin. I softly rock my body against hers, feeling a yet unknown degree of pleasure as I warm and ache for her, every inch of us conforming to one another as if we’re becoming one person.
She lets out soft cries that I hope are pleasurable—I know the low growls I let out are, sounds that I can’t hold back. There is a sustained connection between us, kisses and deep looks into the eyes of the other and explorations of our bodies in a way that we’d never done before. I’m more comfortable with her than I was last night when I feared it could all come to a quick end, that somehow I wouldn’t be enough for her.
Her body hums below mine when she orgasms, tightening slightly around me before loosening up, and I watch as her face turns angelic and without a care in the world. It happens multiple times, and each time it does I’m turned on even more and defy my own needs in order to keep bringing her those moments of bliss. But I can only hold out for so long, and when I finally release myself into her, I shudder and shake, overcome by a mind-altering sensation that is made a hundred times better by the fact that, when it’s over, Paige is there watching me, her eyes full of love, our bodies still connected… acclimated.
“God, you’re amazing,” I say when I finally unhook my body from hers.
“You’re beyond amazing,” she says, snuggling up to my chest while I wrap an arm around her.
“I’ve been wanting this to happen since I can’t even remember.” I have absolutely no control over the giant grin I know must be plastered on my face.
“Have you?” She looks up at me with a slight look of skepticism. “You dated a lot of different girls.”
I have to chuckle at the reason why. “I was with those girls because you were with Mike, and it seemed like you guys were in love from the night of the eighth grade dance until senior year… well, until Mike started making it obvious he was going rogue.”
She rubs her hand against my bare chest, making me tingle all over again. “And I was only with Mike because I was jealous of you and Lexi at that dance. I wish I’d had the nerve to ask you instead of standing by while she did.”
“Really?” I’m surprised, floored actually, and I lift my head so I can see every feature on her beautiful face. “Since then? I kind of figured Mike was like your end game back then.”
She shakes her head. “Mike was no pressure and fun to do stuff with, and I knew he’d never break my heart because I didn’t love him.”
“Not at all? I mean, did you guys ever?” Shit, do I really want to know that?
“Evan, he had no interest in that, other than making out. You’re my first.”
Wow.
I let
out a breath I apparently was holding in. “I am?” I don’t know whether to be pissed off about our missed chances and the times we’ve lost or to just be grateful for the fact that we’ve finally made it and that I’m her first. “So you and Garrett never?”
I lie my head back down on the pillow. Again, not sure I want to know details of their physical relationship.
“I waited for you,” she says resolutely. “There are things… things I did with Garrett, but I couldn’t… I had to wait for you.”
And then she starts to cry.
I hold her even closer to me and kiss her forehead. “I’m so sorry,” I say, knowing that she must feel beyond conflicted inside. “We’ll make it right somehow. Garrett will understand. He’ll have to.”
“I’m not so sure,” she gets out among her tears. “He’ll hate both of us, and he should.”
“He’s not the saint you think he is,” I say. “He has to face reality at some point.” I just hope she’s not going to revert back to him again and tell me this was all a mistake.
“Are any of us saints?” she asks, her eyes red, her guilt evident.
“Please tell me you and I are safe.” I know by asking, I’m putting my own needs in front of hers, but I have to know that we’re only going to build on what we have.
“We are,” she says without a moment of hesitation. “I hate the idea of having to tell Garrett, but I can’t lose you, Evan. I don’t want to lose this.”
“Good,” I say, keeping her in my arms and never wanting to let go.
Not nearly enough time passes before her phone rings, loud enough to be heard all the way from the living room. I ignore it because phones ring all the time, and Paige does the same.
But when her phone goes into another round of ringing, then stops and goes into round three, I look at her and figure she should probably get it.
“It could be about my grandma,” she says, scurrying up and out of my bed.
PAIGE
Garrett.
He’s the last person I should be talking to right now, but I decide not to put it off and answer my phone. “Hi, Garrett.”
“Finally,” he says, emotion filling his voice. “I’m sorry to bug you, but I just really need you right now.”
“What’s wrong?” Whatever I’m feeling about us as a couple, my desire to protect him as a friend kicks in.
“My dad had a heart attack…” Garrett is not a crier, but he cries now, as if he can’t believe the words that are coming out of his mouth, and I’m having a hard time believing them myself.
Evan is now in the living room in his boxer briefs, looking at me with concern.
“Is he going to be okay?” I ask, remembering my own dad and desperately wanting Garrett to say yes.
“I think so… I don’t know. He’s at Sacred Heart in Spokane. He’s in surgery and my mom is freaking out. Skyler and Matt are here, but I just had to talk to you… you were the first person I thought about after I got the news.”
My heart is crushed. I was the first person Garrett thought to call when his life was crashing down around him, the one person he thought he could trust to help him through. “I’m so sorry. Garrett, you have to believe that he’ll be okay. He’s such a strong man, and he’s got so much to live for.”
Evan is making a motion as if to ask what exactly is going on, but I can’t very well tell him without giving away to Garrett that he’s here with me.
“But your dad…” Garrett says. “He had a lot to live for too.”
My tears from earlier return, but I say, “It’s not the same. My dad’s disease was progressive. He fought with all he had. But your dad… this is just the first time. He’ll change some things in his life and he’ll be okay.”
“Like become a vegan or something?” Garrett laughs through his tears.
“Yeah.” I laugh too.
“I wish you were here,” Garrett says. “I miss you, Paige.”
Even though there is a weight in my gut telling me I’m a horrible, awful person, I tell him, “I wish I was there for you too. I hope I can help you out.”
Evan is sitting on the couch now. His face is buried in his hands. I think he knows what has happened, and I think he knows what this means for us. I spend the next hour on the phone with Garrett, Evan having already disappeared into his room. Just this morning, I was so sure Evan and I were going to be together and that I would finally face the truth and make Garrett face it too, no matter how much it might hurt.
But now?
When I get off the phone, I grab a shirt and a fresh pair of panties before heading to Evan’s bedroom. He’s in bed playing on his phone.
“How is his dad?” he asks, frowning. “He going to be okay?”
“It sounds like it.” I dare to crawl into bed next to him. “But Garrett is a mess. His dad is having a stent put in. I don’t know… he’s always thought of his dad as invincible.”
Evan laughs like he’s remembering something about Mr. Hevener. “Yeah, we all did. He’ll be okay. That guy is a rock.”
He is, but Garrett can’t take another blow, not right now. “Evan—”
“Please don’t say it, Paige.” He closes his eyes for a moment before opening them back up and looking at me, his gorgeous green eyes sad and pleading.
“You know I have to. It hurts me just as much as it does you, but I won’t drop a breakup on Garrett right now.”
He sighs. “You don’t have to do this. Garrett has a lot of friends and his sister and mom, and he still has us if he’d just get over the fact that you don’t belong to him.”
“I don’t think he thinks I belong to him,” I say.
Evan laughs dismissively. “Like I said Paige, he’s no saint. There are things you don’t know about him.”
“Like what? If there’s something you think is so horrible about him, then I’d like to hear it.”
“Paige, I don’t—”
“Would you please just tell me?”
He takes a deep breath, then exhales. “Garrett and I had a lot of conversations over the years, about how I really felt about you.”
“About me?”
He nods, taking another breath and then sighing it back out. “I was bummed when you didn’t ask me to that dance in eighth grade, and then I was seriously pissed off when I saw you and Mike kissing. It seemed like you really liked the guy, and Garrett confirmed it for me. Over the years, he kept reminding me that you’d never be into me that way, that you’d told him as much when he’d asked you.”
I shake my head, knowing I’d remember telling Garrett I had no interest in Evan.
“I believed him,” he continues. “But it didn’t lessen that constant gnaw I had in my gut that said I loved you as more than a friend. I’d decided I was going to tell you after Lexi and I were officially over and before I went to North Carolina. I had to man up and get it out. And Garrett knew. I’d told him.”
“Evan, I had no idea you wanted to actually say something.” And knowing Garrett might be the reason he didn’t is like another punch to the gut.
“Yeah, well I can blame myself for not putting it out there and just asking you point blank, but I can still be pretty pissed at Garrett for making it less likely that I’d do that. It might not seem like it, but I do have some pride, Paige.”
“I…” I don’t know what to say. I’m still trying to process that Evan and I could have gotten together years ago, so I’m having a hard time picturing Garrett lying about something I never said to him.
And Evan isn’t even finished. “Next thing I knew, you and Garrett were together. I should have known. I’d noticed the way he looked at you way before that—something had changed. I shouldn’t have trusted him with my feelings about you. So, yeah that’s why I couldn’t talk to you for four days—it made me sick. I was beyond pissed off at him. I mean, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, to imagine you made the first move—it was possible. I didn’t want to seem like a jealous asshole, so I let it go.”
> “Evan… I don’t know what to say.” I really, truly don’t. I believe Evan while at the same time not being able to fathom Garrett telling those lies because it would mean he’d cheated Evan and I out of so much. And now with his dad being sick, how could I confront him with that?
“But I got you in the end,” Evan says. “Losing your scholarship sucked, but it brought us together.”
I sit up against the head of Evan’s bed, still trying to get a grasp of everything he’s telling me. “I’m going to have to tell him I know all of this, but Evan, I can’t do that right now. He needs me. He needs us.”
“I figured you’d say something like that.” He turns his body toward mine. “So, what, do we go back to pretending like nothing happened here between us? I want to start something with you, Paige… not just sex, but an actual relationship, and I don’t want to have to lie about it, not to Garrett—”
“Or Natalie?”
Annoyance flashes across his face. “I kissed her maybe twice Paige. She’ll be fine.”
“That’s it?”
“Would I be here with you if it wasn’t? Damn, I only went out with her because she’s so persistent and I figured you and I were never going to actually happen. I mean how much more clear could I have been about wanting to be with you?”
“Okay,” I say, feeling like a hypocrite for being so concerned about him and Natalie while at the same time wanting his understanding about Garrett. “Give me a few weeks. I’ll tell him—I promise—but I need time.”
“You’re not doing him any favors,” Evan says, anger edging his words. “Just rip the Band-Aid off and get it over with.”
Between the Boys (The Basin Lake Series Book 1) Page 25