Shattered Beliefs

by Maggie Jane Schuler

  His shades remained closed as I approached his door. I never considered he might not be awake yet, but I stood here, anxious, and knew my courage would walk away if I left now.

  With a few swift raps on his door, I shoved my hands in my pockets and prayed he’d answer, even if it was only seven in the morning.

  Within a few minutes, I heard the rustling around of the chain on the inside of the door lock and a grumpy, “What the hell, Milo?” came across my ears as the door flew open.

  “Good morning.” I provided a huge grin and pushed Seth out of the doorway. We’d been friends too long to have him push me away before I admitted the truth, I’d promised Edward.

  He slammed the door, and rage brewed behind his pupils as he approached, and his index finger poked my already throbbing chest. “What is wrong with you lately?”

  I raised my hands in surrender. “Nothing. And dude, stop with the poking.”

  “Your mom is like my own mother. You didn’t tell me things exploded yesterday. Why?”

  “Because I wanted to be normal last night. For once in my life, I didn’t want to be the shit show of horrors behind living with Clay Wilcox to be front and center.” My voice faded as I added, “I wanted Edward to see me as more.”

  “Your mother had to call me to—What did you say?”

  I inhaled and held my breath in my cheeks. His eyes grew wide, and a nod of affirmation from me stopped him cold. Time stood still as we stared at one another speechless.

  Seth wiped his hand down his face as if to restart himself. “Are you telling me, Edward and you are—”

  I held up my hand to slow down his now busy mind. “Edward and I have been talking since the beginning of school.”

  “And now what?”

  “And now we are...Um.” I thought my heart might explode as I fessed up the truth to my best friend. The stutter in my speech did nothing to quell the festering confusion. “We’re u-um.”

  Seth crossed his arms and waited patiently while I screwed up this entire situation even more.

  “He, um. He and I are…well.” I blew out the last of my thoughts and sat without inhaling for a minute. I never knew admitting someone meant something more to me would be this difficult.

  “I need to hear this in your words.” He shifted on his legs and refused to cut me any slack.

  “Truth?”

  “I thought we were always honest, no secrets?” The underlying hurt cut me deep, knowing Seth and I never lied to one another. I blew our trust out of the water by withholding this from him.

  I closed my eyes and waited for the right words to come. They didn’t; the continued pressure of disappointment built inside me.

  “I’ve sat and listened to you talk to me about every whore you’ve hooked up with, and now you sit tongue-tied? All of this happening while your shit is falling apart, and you never said a word?”

  “Seth, as God is my witness, this isn’t about you. This is me.”

  “What the fuck is the deal with Edward then? I wanted him—are you seriously that big of an asshole that I couldn’t try for my slice of happiness?” He roared the last part in my face, so close his morning breath hung in my nostrils.

  “Stop. This isn’t easy on me.”

  “What? Admitting you didn’t want me to be happy?”

  “No, fuck you. You are my best friend, and the last thing I ever wanted was to sleep with Edward, like it, and want more from him.”

  Both our eyes went wide, and Seth’s shoulders finally retreated from his ears. “You what?”

  “Please, you heard me.”

  “No. What I heard is not what I usually hear.” He stepped back, and his knees hit his coffee table, landing him a seat upon it as his hand brushed back over his face.

  I moved forward and settled on the couch in front of him. “What do you usually hear?”

  “You usually talk about each piece of ass as if they’re another number in the self-serve line. What are you saying about Edward?”

  My voice squeaked, “I don’t know. This is something different. Something more.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  Seth always had a response to everything I told him. It scared me that this left him as speechless as me.

  “Don’t hate me. I never intended to hurt you. This whole thing has me tied up in knots.”

  “Did you see your mom?”

  “Yeah. Things are bad. She finally went to the hospital after I left her no choice last night. My dad beat her pretty bad before I came home for family dinner.”

  Seth bent over and placed his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands. “Are you telling me you left your mom last night to come here with Edward, and you knew she needed you?”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Then tell me, Milo, what is it like?”

  “She lied to me. She had plans for separating from my dad, and she didn’t tell me her whole idea when she promised she’d be ready to leave here when I graduate. She knew she was serving him with divorce papers, which set this whole thing rolling. She kept that from me and got her ass beat for it. Clay flipped, and this whole shit show came to a head with me nearly stabbing that fucking loser of a sperm donor and my mother lying to me.”

  “I’m sure she was protecting you.”

  “I’m twenty-one, and she doesn’t trust me? I screwed up by turning my phone off.”

  He moved to his post on the couch and threw his arm over my shoulder. “Shit. This all became as real as it gets. I’m sorry. Where is your dad now?”

  “Jail. My mom pressed charges for the first time, and hopefully the last.”

  “Dude. I wonder why she didn’t call my parents to help?”

  “I don’t know. I let her down, but she could have told me all this was happening. We had an agreement, but she kept secrets.”

  “Secrets don’t pay off, do they?” He squeezed my shoulder with a little more dig in his thumb than usual.

  I sighed and gave a nervous chuckle. “Touché.”

  “So, tell me what’s going on with Edward? Did you tell your mom where you were?”

  “No. I told my mom I drove him. But nothing else.”

  “Why? She loves you. She was worried.”

  “Because I don’t know what this is with Edward. Our situation doesn’t compare with all the other girls. Even with Deb, I never had this rush or desire. He’s wrapped up in my head all the time.”

  “Well, I guess you and I will have to figure out a lot of stuff then.”

  I relaxed and leaned back against the cushion of the couch. Seth handed me a game controller, and we drifted into our usual therapy session, playing video games, and sprinkling in a few more profound conversations. Nothing settled the real issues at hand, but mending things with Seth proved to be the perfect solution for the moment.

  As I left his apartment that afternoon, I sent Edward a text.

  Milo: I held up my end of the bargain. See you in class.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Edward

  A tapping noise shook me awake.

  Coming to life, I stared at the clock on the bedside table.

  “Shit.” I threw the duvet back and swung my legs out of the bed; I’d slept most of the day away.

  Grabbing my phone and squinting at the screen, I ignored the tapping for a moment.

  Milo: I held up my end of the bargain. See you in class.

  "Is that it?” I stared at the screen, incredulous. “Is he taking the piss?”

  Relentlessly, the tapping continued, followed by the screechy voice I hoped never to hear again.

  “Hello, Mr Baines-Tennant, are you home?

  “Bloody Deidra Warren,” I groaned, stepping into my shorts and rushing out of the bedroom. “Hold on, I’m coming.” I passed a mirror, took a step back, and grimaced. Running my fingers through my hair, I exhaled. “Oh, God!”

  Bare chested, I approached the front door, mortified by my disheveled appearance.

 
Fixing a smile to my face, I pulled the door open.

  “Ah, there you are,” she crooned in that hideous fake English drawl I imagined was for my benefit. “I didn’t think I’d seen you leave the house today.” Her eyes fixed on my torso. I made my pecs do a little dance, just to throw her off. “Well, umm…” She tapped the clipboard with her long talons.

  I held back a snigger. “That is most observant of you, Deidre.” In truth, I wanted to slam the door in her pudgy face. “Now you have interrupted my work out, what can I do for you?”

  “We need to discuss your visitor.”

  “Which one, I have many?” I lied, but I wanted to bait her.

  “The young…” She paused, seemingly unsure how to describe Milo without causing offence. “...Hispanic who drives the noisy car.” I noted the sneer. She deemed him unsuitable for Kissing Hills.

  “What about him?”

  “Coming and going at all hours.”

  “Who I have in my home and when has nothing to do with you.”

  “It has plenty to do with me when he violates Kissing Hills’ noise ordinances.”

  “Tell me one thing…” My eyes fixed on hers.

  “If I can.”

  “Is it only you who has a problem with my friend or is this the general consensus?”

  “Well…”

  “It is a simple question, Deidre.”

  “Deidra.” She corrected me as I knew she would. “The noise that the damned car makes disturbs me.”

  I had slept the day away and Milo irked me with his one line text, now this nosey old bat was about to get the tongue lashing of her life. “Are you sure it is the car you have issues with and not the fact its driver is, what was it, Hispanic?”

  “Where he was born doesn’t matter to me, Mr Baines-Tennant.”

  “Well, for your information, Deidre, Milo was born in the United States of America and has as much right to be here as you do.”

  “He has no respect for our rules.”

  “Your rules, you mean?”

  “The rules Kissing Hills’ residents have abided by since this community was formed long before you and your, well, friend came here.”

  I didn’t appreciate her thinly veiled dig or her assumption Milo and I were anything but friends. “Bollocks.” I heard my mother's voice in my head. Manners, darling. This was no time for social niceties.

  “I beg your pardon.”

  “You could hear a moth fart in the next city, so I’m fairly certain you heard what I said, Deidre.”

  “There is no need to be rude, Mr—”

  “And there is absolutely no need for blatant homophobia or racism in this day and age.”

  Her beady eyes narrowed, and her lips disappeared rendering her mouth no more than a slit in her face. She was angry at being called out for her behaviour. It was not something she was accustomed to. The mask of respectability slipped and just for a moment her Texan twang escaped. “I’m nothing of the sort. What else would he be if not a friend?”

  I would not fill in the blanks for her. “I beg to differ, Deidre, and let me offer you one final warning.” Sock it to the bitch, I told myself. “Any more interference from you, and I shall instruct my lawyers to sue you for harassment.”

  “How dare you accuse me of such behavior.” Her face turned a deep shade of red. She clung to her clipboard as though her life depended on it.

  “And how dare you knock on my door spitting veiled threats.”

  “There has been a misunderstanding.”

  “On your part, yes, because if you thought for one moment, I would tolerate this, think again.”

  “What does that mean?” Now I had her attention.

  “I do not make threats, Mrs. Warren.” I wanted this to be the last conversation I had with her. “I make a point to back up my words with actions and will have no hesitation in dragging you through the courts should the need arise.” This would be my parting shot. “Kissing Hills will become synonymous with homophobia and racism, while you will become the poster girl for it.”

  Her jaw dropped and for a moment, I rendered her speechless. “Well, I have never been so insulted in my entire life.”

  “Your face will be plastered across the pages of your local newspaper.” I would never do it, but for a woman who loved to project a certain image, it would be certain death to whatever social standing she elevated herself to. “Imagine it. You know gossip spreads like wildfire in communities like this.”

  “I don’t think there is any need for that.”

  “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

  She cast her eyes over her clipboard. “Well, no, I don’t think so.”

  “Very good.”

  “But if you would ask your guest to be more considerate when driving through Kissing Hills, I would appreciate it.” She had a point, and I would take Milo to task over his comings and goings.

  “Of course, I will.”

  “Thank you.”

  She turned to leave, so now was as good a time as any. “Please do not call here again.”

  My words stopped her in her tracks, but she didn’t bother to turn and carried on walking.

  I slammed the door and rushed back upstairs to grab my phone.

  Settling myself down on the bed, I dialed Milo’s number and nervously await his answer.

  “Hey,” he answered, matter-of-factly. “I was about to call you.”

  “I saved you a job.” I knew he would pick up on my dour mood.

  “Is something wrong?”

  “The friendly neighbourhood witch, Deidra Warren, just paid me a visit.”

  “Oh, shit, what did I do this time?”

  “The noise that the damned car makes disturbs me, and that is a direct quote from her, not me.”

  “What is her fucking problem?”

  “You, it seems, are not the right fit for Kissing Hills, although she would never let the mask slip far enough to admit that.”

  “Should I go talk to her?”

  “There is no point because her mind is made up. You’re the Hispanic with the noisy car, and I’m the posh gay guy who pissed her off because my house is bigger than hers.”

  “I’ll be more careful when I come by.”

  “Drive across her lawn for all I care.” The thought of her prized flowers flattened to nothing tickled my funny bone but thinking it through. “Perhaps not, but anyway, forget about her and tell me what happened with Seth.”

  “It was hard to say the words, you know.” I could hear a hint of stress in his voice and had to remember not all of us have accepting family and friends. Support was what he needed. “Did he take it badly?”

  “He was pissed at first, but then we settled into a game and nothing much was discussed afterward.”

  “So, he doesn't hate you then?”

  “Naw, he likes you, a little more than he should now.”

  “I hope it doesn’t make things awkward.”

  “Me and Seth go way back.” Now, he sounded a little more upbeat. “Trust me, he wants what makes me happy.”

  “And do I make you happy?”

  “Yeah, but it’s still early days, and I have a lot of stuff to figure out before I tell my mom.”

  “I understand and won’t pile any more pressure on.”

  “I can’t live a lie, Edward.”

  “Tell your parents when you’re ready.”

  “And you’re okay with that?”

  “I asked you to tell Seth, and to be honest, I didn’t think you would, but you did. I’m thankful because it makes life easier for the three of us. But going forward, we can take things at your pace.”

  “I can live with that.”

  “Do you want to come over?”

  “Now?”

  “Yes, now.”

  “Sure. What do you have in mind?”

  “I’d be game for some more of that, you know, hot guy on guy stuff.”

  “It was good, huh?” I loved the deep growl to his voice.
<
br />   I looked down as my cock sprung to life. “My dick is hard thinking about it.”

  “You’re a dirty boy, Edward, and I’m gonna enjoy showing you who’s boss in the sack.”

  “And over the bonnet of your car, and in the pool.”

  “Fuck, man, you got me standing at attention. How am I gonna get past my mom with this huge bulge in my jeans?”

  Pre-cum oozed from my piss slit. I wiped it with my finger then popped it into my mouth. “That’s your problem, big boy, not mine.”

  “I feel you’ve put a spell on me.”

  “Is that a good thing, Milo Garcia?” My hand cupped my balls. I squeezed them gently.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  His words warmed my heart. To the outside world he might be the macho man, but there was a softer side to him. “The feeling is mutual, now deal with that bulge and get your sexy arse over here right now.”

  “Any other requests, sir?”

  “Yes, wear your sweaty jockstrap and bring your sports socks.”

  “My sports socks?”

  “Stuff one in my mouth when you fuck me.”

  “Shit!” He let out a throaty growl “Kinky, too. You're a man of many talents.”

  I gripped my cock. “You have no idea.”

  Pillow talk was not something I ever envisioned Milo and I partaking in. But side by side, resting in bed, is exactly where we were right now.

  After the fuck of my lifetime, I half expected him to make excuses and rush off, but to his credit, he held me tight, playing with my tight hole and kissing the nape of my neck until I was ready to go again.

  Five times in one night was a record, for me at least, but I was thoroughly satisfied and had marked Milo as the best lover I ever had.

  “Are you okay?” I returned to my bed with two bottles of beer.

  He took the bottle of beer and cracked it open before slugging half back. “I’ve never done it with anyone five times in one night.”

  “I feel like I’ve been shagged by an Olympic athlete.”

  He lifted the duvet, checking out his impressive package and grinned. “Maybe you have.”

  “Ugh, don’t spoil it.” I gulped my beer, draining the bottle, then set it down on the bedside cabinet.