Unwanted Desire

by Cyndi Friberg

Kash chuckled. “Can’t help it, can you? Give us your best, overeducated guess.”

  “All right. I suspect that you succumbed to a mutual attraction that led to your first sexual encounter. Was that about three or four hours ago?”

  “Damn good guess,” Kash grumbled. “Keep going.”

  She nodded and stuck her hands in her pockets. Why did a medical professional seem so uncomfortable with a simple biological function? “Exposure to your secretions…”

  “Come,” Kash taunted. “You can say come.”

  A vivid blush accentuated the crest of her high, hollow cheeks. “Absorbing your secretions likely triggered the genetic reaction she is experiencing now.”

  “How long will this reaction last and what will I be when it stops -- fluxing?” Jizette was too anxious to find much humor in the conversation.

  Hillard actually smiled, her blue eyes sparkling. “I need more information before I explain my second hypothesis. You might find it troubling and chances that I’m right are infinitesimal.”

  “How comforting,” Kash drawled. “So, you’ll just let us worry all night?”

  “There’s no need to worry,” Hillard insisted. “I see no physical risk to either of you. If you’re comfortable with this attraction, enjoy yourselves.”

  There was one complication they hadn’t explained yet, Jizette realized. “Right after our first encounter, Kash shifted spontaneously.”

  Hillard was silent for a moment, then her arched brows rose and she said, “There is no stronger instinct in a wolf than to protect his mate. Was something, or someone, threatening you?”

  “Yeah, I was,” Kash grumbled. “Come on, let’s go.”

  “What about this other possibility?” Jizette persisted.

  “I’ll contact you when I know more.”

  They’d been dismissed. The doctor turned back to her graphs, so Milo ushered them back into the corridor, doing his best to look at ease. Had he enjoyed watching them? Had it turned him on? Served him right for being so rude.

  “Is Tayla still here?” Kash asked.

  “She headed home for the night. Said she’d see you in the morning.”

  “That’s probably for the best. I have a lot to tell her, and Jizette and I are both exhausted.”

  Milo’s cough sounded suspiciously like a laugh. “I can’t imagine why.”

  Jizette was free to look around as they made their way topside, but she was still distracted. She wanted to accept that she and Kash were simply destined mates, drawn to each other by some random trick of nature. But life for morphs was never that simple. DOMA’s ambitious schemes threaded through every aspect of their existence.

  “Why so quiet?” Kash tucked her hand into the bend of his elbow, his gaze warm upon her face.

  “Just trying to take it all in.” Desire cascaded through her as she remembered the nearly overwhelming fullness he’d created inside her body. Nothing had ever felt so blissful and yet so intimidating.

  You’re blushing.

  His thoughts were so much clearer now, and at the height of passion, his emotions had flowed as freely as his thoughts. It had been dizzying, amazing. Passion simmered within him now, banked and controlled, yet still hot.

  This is still new to me, she reminded him.

  I haven’t forgotten. And I still plan to take my time and show you how it should have been.

  She’d meant the entire situation, being beyond the walls, not just having sex. But arousal flowed, tingling and hot. She shivered, fighting back a moan.

  “Are you two telepathic?” Milo asked. “It sure got quiet all of a sudden.”

  They both smiled, but neither confirmed or denied his conclusion. He led them to a guest room tucked away in the back corner of the farmhouse’s second floor. “The only surveillance in this building is in public areas, like the kitchen and fireside room. Do you need anything before I disappear for the night?”

  Kash smiled at her. “Everything I need’s right here.”

  “Good enough, then I’ll see you two in the morning.”

  Kash followed Milo to the door and locked it behind him. After a search of the bedroom revealed no hidden cameras, they began to relax. Kash’s backpack had been placed on a chair near the closet and a clean outfit had been left on top of the dresser for Jizette.

  Despite his claim that she was exhausted, Jizette wasn’t the least bit sleepy. “Are we really going to bed?”

  “Eventually.” He chuckled, advancing on her slowly. “Right now I thought we’d take a bath.”

  Chapter Five

  Maddox heard a muffled curse and then a distinct thunk. He turned around in time to see Ulli, the head of his sentinels, shoving two of his men through the doorway of the workshop in front of him.

  “Sorry to bother you, sir,” Ulli said, “but these two have got something to tell you.”

  Now that Maddox could see their faces he recognized the two guards, River and Duff. “Speak quickly. I have a lot to accomplish today.”

  They hesitated and Ulli motivated each with a cuff to the back of their heads. “Speak!”

  “She came to us, sir. We didn’t instigate it.” River stepped forward and went down on one knee. “I swear I’d never seen her before. She said she came from one of the mountain villages.”

  Duff followed suit. “She pleasured us both and collected our juices. Took them away with her. We’re both so terribly sorry, sir.”

  “Sun-streaked brown hair, light brown eyes, real curvy, and willing to please. Sound like anyone we know?” Ulli dismissed the guards with an impatient jerk of his head. “Dyauna wasn’t fooled for a minute. I guess a woman’s tricks are easier for another woman to spot. The real question is, why can’t we find the bastard?”

  Maddox rubbed the back of his neck, trying hard not to let his frustration show. “There are thousands of places for Izak and Amara to hide. That canyon stretches on for miles. We’ll find them. We have to keep at it until we do.”

  “Do you know anyone who’s still in contact with Cruz? No one knows those mountains like he does.”

  “That’s a great idea. Unfortunately, Cruz might be harder to find than Izak.” Maddox sighed, refusing to be demoralized by the obstacles facing him. “I’ll ask around. Someone has to know how to contact him.”

  “Sorry about my men.” Ulli straightened his shoulders, tone suddenly formal. “That happened on my watch. I take full responsibility.”

  “Find Cruz and I’ll forgive you,” Maddox said with a weary smile.

  * * * * *

  Kash watched Jizette’s eyes widen and savored her evocative musk. His scent mingled with hers now, which made him wild and possessive. Blood rushed to his groin and tenderness gripped his heart. He was used to his body’s almost violent reaction to her, but the flood of emotion was new, raw, and powerful.

  “Can you still sense what I’m feeling?” he asked.

  “When my own emotions aren’t raging out of control.”

  The confession pleased him. He wanted her wild, as desperate for him as he was for her. It was selfish, he knew, but that didn’t stop his heart from fluttering with approval.

  Taking her hand, he led her into the adjoining bathroom. He’d stayed with Milo several times over the past few years. All of the guest suites were similar, but he’d never slept in this one before.

  “Is it just me or do you sense everyone’s emotions?”

  “I’ve spent most of my life learning how to shield my mind and control my ability. It can be really painful when my shields slip.”

  He turned on the water in the tub then reached for her T-shirt. She automatically raised her arms so he could rid her of the unflattering garment. But then her naked body was so damn beautiful any garment would seem unflattering. The rest of her clothes followed in quick succession. He was glad she had no aversion to being naked with him because he intended to keep her that way often. His clothes surrendered to her persistent hands just as quickly, and they paused to look at each other.


  “Do you think it will always be this intense, or will the urges ease once our bond solidifies?” She splayed her fingers against his pecs then moved up and squeezed his shoulders.

  “If all we’re feeling is bonding fever, it should ease.” Reaching behind her, he cupped her butt with both hands and pulled her flush with his body.

  “You don’t think Hillard knows what she’s talking about?” Concern crept into her gaze. She’d obviously wanted to be relieved by the doctor’s prognosis.

  “All she said is we’re not dying. She hasn’t explained why this is happening to such an unlikely pair or why your scans were still in flux.”

  “You’re such a comfort to me,” she muttered.

  Immediately seeing his error, he pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry. You must be twice as frustrated as I am.” And sure enough there it was -- she smelled like fear. He tilted her face up and captured her gaze. “We’ll get through this, regardless of what it is. I’ll never leave your side.”

  She nodded stiffly, and they stepped into the shower together. “Did you buy her explanation about your spontaneous shift?”

  “Actually, that’s the only thing she said that made any sense to me.” He handed her the shampoo and he started with the soap. “I was so revved up by… whatever this is; I might have hurt you far worse than I did if I hadn’t gone wolf on you.”

  “It was a safety mechanism?”

  He nodded. “Basic, primal instinct.”

  They lapsed into thoughtful silence while they finished cleaning up, then they climbed into the deep, jetted tub. They faced each other and she wrapped her legs loosely around his hips. The position was intimate without being sexual. They both needed to relax and absorb the rapid-fire changes fate had thrown their way.

  He rubbed her shoulders and enjoyed the simple pleasure of looking at her. She closed her eyes and reached behind her, resting her hands on the bottom of the tub. The water lapped at the underside of her breasts, and Kash licked his lips. His sex hardened, bobbing in the water between them. So much for relaxation. Luckily the swirling current hid his condition. If one of them was able to unwind that was good enough for him.

  “So, how is this going to work?” She opened her eyes and cocked her head to the side, her expression a bit cautious. “Do you expect me to live in the canine compound? Your father is alpha, which means you’ll lead the pack one day. How will your people react to your new mate?”

  He’d known the conversation was coming; it was inevitable. Still, he’d hoped to have his own feelings sorted before he tried to explain them to her. “I’ll lead the pack if I choose to challenge my father, and if I manage to win. He’s survived sixteen challenges in the past eight years.”

  “You’re avoiding the issue, so I’ll keep it simple. Do you want to be pack alpha?”

  He’d never really thought about whether he “wanted” it or not. He’d accepted that it was his chosen path. No, that wasn’t true. He admired his father and looked forward to continuing a long and honored family tradition. “With occasional exceptions alphas are bred. We’re stronger and live longer than the other members of our pack. My great-grandfather founded Timberline pack. It’s in my blood, my genetics.”

  She chuckled and pushed off the tub, scooting closer to him. “Is that a really long way of saying yes?”

  “Yes. I want to be alpha when my father is no longer capable of leading our pack.”

  “All right. That solidifies what you want for the future.” Her voice lowered and her body tensed. “What about me?”

  “What do you want?” He brushed her hair back from her face, tucking the damp strands behind her ear. “What were your plans before this unexpected twist?”

  “I want a family.” Her voice grew even softer, and he sensed her emotional withdrawal. “Your family has always produced alphas, and mine has always been highly fertile. No female in my bloodline has ever failed to produce healthy offspring. We are highly sought after as mates.”

  “And yet you were a virgin until today.” He wasn’t sure how to ask the questions going through his mind without alienating her completely. Communication was the foundation of any relationship. They had to be able to talk about anything. “Did your brother scare off all your suitors?” He’d meant it mainly as a joke to ease the tension, but it was a possibility. Maddox had a nasty reputation.

  “He tried” -- her smile was sad now -- “but it only worked with the most timid. The others were far more determined.”

  “Yet none of them… I know they couldn’t have because you gave me what they were after.”

  She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her mound against his erection. The water felt cool compared to the heat they created. “None of them made me feel what I feel with you. I know you’re my mate. I’ve accepted it. But why would the creator do this to us when I want cubs more than anything?”

  “Do they have to be cubs?” He tilted her face up and nipped her lower lip. “What if I can give you puppies?”

  “That’s not funny.” She pushed away from his chest and gazed into his eyes. “You don’t believe I’m somehow mutating into a wolf, do you?”

  “No. If we could do that, I’m pretty sure we would have seen it happen by now. We have a little more access to morphs than overeducated Dr. Hillard.”

  “Good point.” She sighed and the tension gradually eased from her body. “Which brings us back to a mixed-breed match. My brother is mated to a leopard. The pride accepts her begrudgingly, but only because Maddox has agreed to preserve our bloodline by…” Tears filled her eyes and her lips trembled. It tore at his heart to see her so miserable. He tried to kiss her, but she twisted away. “He’ll mount at least one of the Barbary females, probably more. It’s not just an emotional preference. It’s a matter of survival. If morphs are going to survive, we are all going to have to manage our gene pools.”

  He knew she was right, but this was the last thing he wanted to discuss while she was naked and in his arms.

  “If, by some miracle of fate, we are able to produce offspring, would you want to have my children?”

  Her lips pressed together, and she blinked away her tears. He could almost hear her mind debating the outlandish possibility. “We both know it doesn’t work that way. Different breeds of cats might be able to have sex, but they seldom produce offspring.” She sighed, but her shoulders squared as if she’d accepted reality. “And we’re pushing the boundaries even further than that.”

  “Regardless of our alter egos, we are both primarily human. What if our offspring were simply human, without the ability to morph. Would you be happy with a human baby?”

  She swallowed and searched his gaze, tension building again. “Why are you asking me this? Has it worked that way with wolves?”

  “Do you remember Bear, the man who sneaked up behind Lane and knocked him out?”

  “He’s a little hard to forget.” Her chuckle dispelled some of the tension. “I was raised among Barbary pride lions, and that man still seemed enormous to me.”

  “Well, he was a failed experiment. A project DOMA abandoned.”

  “That’s horrible. Is he the only one of his kind?”

  Kash nodded. “He was helping one of our widows put her life back together after the long and devastating illness that claimed her mate. He made repairs to her property and one thing led to another. They began a rather scandalous affair.”

  Her agile mind easily saw where he was going. “He got her pregnant?”

  “Much to the wonderment of everyone concerned. The child was born healthy and whole, but she is neither wolf, nor bear. She is simply their daughter, and they couldn’t be happier.”

  Hope slammed Jizette’s heart against her ribs. Was it possible? Could she and Kash produce a child together? When things were too good to be true, they couldn’t be trusted. She pushed away from his chest and turned around, unable to resist the lure of his handsome features and lean body. It would be so easy just to dive into his eye
s and let the consequences be damned.

  “And how do the others in your pack feel about Bear’s daughter?”

  “It took them awhile to warm up to the idea, but she’s a happy, well-adjusted five-year-old now.”

  “Of course, this widow is not their alpha’s son,” she pointed out stubbornly.

  He pinched her bottom hard enough to make her yelp. “Are you always so pessimistic?” He triggered the drain and stood, water rolling off his body.

  She looked up at him while uncertainty twisted inside her. “I don’t want to embrace this unique and bizarre situation only to have you ripped from my arms.”

  His gaze narrowed and his cock swayed standing at attention, ready to reinforce his claim on her body. “There is no force in the universe strong enough to drag me from your arms.” He pulled her to her feet and kissed the tip of her nose. “I didn’t realize how empty my life was until you filled it.”

  Affection expanded within her, eroding her uncertainty. This was all happening so fast, but it felt so right. If she just let go and let it happen… it would fundamentally transform her life.

  She stared into his eyes and searched her soul, momentarily blocking out the warmth and tenderness flowing from him so she could analyze what she was feeling. He was brave and noble. He proved the strength of his character when he rescued her from Lane’s abuse. His lineage was impeccable. Five generations of pack alphas? How could Maddox object to… Holy shit! Maddox would --

  “This isn’t about your brother. It’s between you and me.”

  She narrowed her gaze on his face. “Did you read my mind?”

  He laughed. “I don’t need to be clairvoyant to guess where your worry just led you. He’s not just a protective brother; he’s the head of your pride. Of course you’re concerned about how he’ll react to this.”

  “He needs to know I’m not your prisoner anymore.”

  His brow shot up and he lifted her into his arms. “Who said you’re not my prisoner anymore?” Stepping out of the tub, he padded, naked and dripping, toward the bedroom. “Maybe I intend to keep you chained to my bed for the rest of your life, so I can indulge my every desire.”