The Do Over

by A. L. Zaun

  I just shook my head. "Mom heard, too." I glared at him. "Why is it newsworthy that I met a girl?"

  "Hey, you were MIA, and she was worried." Wyatt opened the door to the locker room. "No one gives a shit if you met a girl, but this is different. You're smitten," he said with a very bad British accent.

  Laughing, I swatted him on the back of the head as we walked into the locker room. "Chris is an asshole, but yeah, I like Dani a lot. So, you better be on your best behavior."

  As we were getting ready to leave, I was putting things away in my bag.

  Chris eyed something. "Dude, what the fuck is that?" he asked so eloquently.

  "What?" I answered, continuing what I was doing.

  "That." He pointed at my duffel bag.

  "What's your problem?"

  Shit! I was busted. I would never hear the end of this. I was already the smitten one. Now, my friends were officially going to call me a pussy. I tried to man up as much as I could.

  Confidently, I said, "It's a Kindle, smart ass. People use e-readers all the time. It's an efficient way to manage your reading material."

  Chris wasn't buying it. "Since when do you read?" He knew me. "Holy fucking shit, you're becoming a chick." Chris laughed as he pulled out my Kindle. "Let's see what reading material you have on this e-reader."

  I grabbed it out of his hand and glared at him. He shut up, but he continued to snicker. The last thing Chris needed to see was that I'd downloaded the book Dani was reading. I'd tried to read it, but I couldn't get into it. I'd fallen asleep by the time I'd reached the second page.

  "Chris, you know you're an asshole."

  "Negative, dude. I'm not an asshole because you're pussy whipped." Chris decided to enlighten Rick and the others on the significance of the Kindle. "What a coincidence that you start dating a girl who happens to be really into books." He turns to the guys. "Get this. She meets up with her girlfriends for breakfast at Van Dyke's on Saturday mornings, but she gets there about an hour earlier just so she can read. Now, that's dedication. It's so bad that her friends even staged an intervention." He laughed some more.

  I shoved him into the lockers, staring him down.

  "Back down, Rambo," Chris mocked.

  "Where the hell did you hear all these details about Dani?" I asked, stepping away from him.

  Chris replied, "Pillow talk." He shrugged his shoulders and walked out of the locker room as if nothing out of the ordinary happened.

  I would get Chris when he least expected it. This isn't over.

  I pulled out my phone.

  Liam: I need to see you.

  Dani: Everything okay?

  Liam: Will be when I see your smile.

  Dani: I'm smiling. I can send you a picture.

  Liam: In person. Be there in ten minutes.

  Wyatt walked out with me. "Listen, I fully support you being smitten. Don't let Chris get to you."

  "Never have."

  We both laughed.

  "So, you know how I've been dating Jennifer?" he asked, rubbing his face.

  "She's a friend with benefits. I don't think that qualifies as dating." I opened the door to my car and dropped my duffel bag on the seat.

  "I buy her dinner. That counts," he argued. He looked around like he was about to share top-secret information. "Well, I like her, and I think I'm going to take it to the next level, but don't tell Mom. I'm just letting you know, so if I'm MIA, you know what's going on."

  I laughed as I got in the car. "She won't hear it from me, but good luck keeping this from her."

  As Wyatt walked toward his car, I pulled out of the parking lot and turned onto Ponce De Leon Blvd. From the Wellness Center, it was a quick drive to Dani's house. When she opened the door, her eyes were puffy, and her nose was red. I immediately pulled her into me.

  "Baby, are you okay? What happened?" I asked, cradling her head with my hands.

  She sniffled and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I can't believe he cheated and got the skank pregnant."

  Confused, I tried to maintain control. "Who cheated on whom? And who's pregnant?" What the fuck is she talking about? Maybe it was one of her friends. But why is she so upset? "Why don't you start from the beginning?" I asked with the most control I could muster.

  She let out a big sigh and walked over to her Kindle. "I don't know why I do this to myself." She threw it on the couch. She hung her head in mock shame at her reaction to a book.

  I was relieved that it was just one of her books. Shit. I hated the thought that she might be talking about herself. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her possessively. Lowering my mouth over hers, I kissed away the tragedy she'd just read.

  Leaning back, her eyes sparkled as her face brightened.

  "There it is," I said with a smile. "You just made my day."

  I could never get enough of her. Holding this beautiful woman in my arms, I kissed her again. I didn't want to ever let her go.

  Dani: OMG, Liam stopped by just because. Ahhh!

  Macy: Get out of here. Anything happen?

  Dani: Damn that boy can kiss.

  Macy: Is that all he can do?

  Dani: Head out of the gutter.

  Candace: He came during the week?

  Dani: Is Macy gossiping?

  Candace: LOL! You know she can't keep quiet. Details.

  Dani: Boy can kiss. I wanted him to have his way with me. Happy?

  Macy: Hello??? Don't keep me waiting.

  Dani: Not talking to you, big mouth.

  Macy: It was Candace. That's not talking.

  I did the happy dance. I couldn't remember the last time, if ever, I was this excited. I skipped to my room and fell back on my bed, kicking my legs foolishly.

  As I crawled under my covers, I sent Liam a text.

  Dani: Good night.

  Liam: Can't stop thinking about you.

  I screamed in giddy delight.

  Dani: Me either.

  Liam: What am I going to do with you?

  Dani: Anything you want.

  I bit my lip, hoping I didn't go too far but wanting to anyway.

  Liam: Better be careful. I might take you up on that.

  Dani: I hope you do.

  God, I wanted this man.

  Liam: You're driving me insane.

  Dani: Good.

  I was glad I wasn't the only one. I screamed like a schoolgirl.

  Liam: You like that, don't you?

  Dani: Yep.

  More like a hell yeah, I thought.

  Liam: XOXO.

  Dani: XOXO.

  Going to bed on cloud nine, I thought about how much I liked this man.

  My car thermostat read sixty-eight degrees. Rubbing my hands together, I braced myself for the harsh conditions before I got out of the car. The temperature had dropped to what most South Floridians would consider cold. I wore my winter clothes: jeans, a long-sleeve T-shirt, and a jacket. My hair was pulled up on top of my head. I would definitely need to order a hot drink to warm up.

  The air was crisp as I walked down Lincoln Road, thinking of Liam. I was very excited about our evening together. He was getting off his shift soon, and then he'd be heading home. I pulled out my phone and texted him.

  Dani: Good morning.

  Liam: Was just thinking about you.

  Dani: You always say that.

  Liam: It's the truth.

  Dani: You're spoiling me.

  Liam: I'm trying.

  Dani: Doing a good job.

  Liam: That's the goal.

  The cool air nipped at my lips. I tucked my head to shield my face from its unfamiliar touch. After finding a table, I sat down and got comfortable. I looked around.

  Dani: Just got to my table. Freaks all around.

  Liam: I'm jealous.

  Dani: Don't be. It's cold.

  Liam: Can I keep you warm?

  As usual, watching the people around me was amazing. A couple of transvestites, dressed as Barbara Streisand and Diana Ross, were walking p
oodles.

  Dani: Tonight. XOXO. OMG, you should see the drag queens. LOL!

  Liam: Take a picture. See you tonight. XOXO.

  As always, whenever I was texting Liam, I had the goofiest grin on my face. He had a strong effect on me. When I thought of him or when I was with him, this warmth exploded inside of me, erupting into a smile on my face. He consumed me, but he didn't obliterate me.

  As I continued watching the people around me, I reveled in the excitement caused by Liam. Then, I saw this amazing man standing close by. I gawked. His eyes were darting around, looking for someone. He was tall with messy dark hair. He was just breathtakingly beautiful. Of course, my stalking moment was ruined when his boyfriend came up and French-kissed him. At least, people watching is never boring.

  My time was limited, and I wanted to catch up on my reading. I snuggled in my seat. My purse was in the chair next to me. I propped my feet up on the chair across from me with my Kindle in hand.

  I asked the waiter to bring me a diet soda and a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. He smiled at my order, but I could tell from his eyes that he thought it was weird. I sank into my chair, trying to find warmth from the chill, as I began reading. I was a little behind, so I wanted to spend the next hour getting lost in my book.

  "Daniela."

  My heart skipped a beat and my stomach dropped at the recognition of that voice. Of course, I knew it well. I just hadn't heard it in a long time, twenty-two months ago to be precise. The sound of it brought back memories of the Invasion of Normandy. Why am I hearing that voice now? And why is it calling my name?

  Slowly raising my eyes from my Kindle, I sat up straight and dropped my feet to the floor. Our eyes met, and he held my gaze. His head was tilted to the side as he held earbuds in his hands. Adrenaline pumped through me as my heart sped up. I was anxious. I broke his stare, looking down again. My heart was pounding in my chest. My jaw began to softly tremble. If I pretend he's not there, maybe he'll just go away.

  He didn't take the hint.

  "Hi. What a surprise," he said smoothly.

  I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to look at him. I wanted him to leave. Instead, he just stood there, staring at me.

  I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Rick, what do you want?"

  I hadn't seen him since that night. Unfortunately, he looked amazing. His hair was tousled, like he'd woken up and ran his fingers through his hair before he'd walked out the door. Of course, he also had that soft stubble that I had loved. Whatever.

  "I was running, and I saw you," he answered matter-of-factly. "Why do you think I want something? Isn't it obvious? I saw you and stopped to say hello." He straightened his shoulders as his jaw tensed.

  "Okay, you saw me. Now go," I responded flatly.

  I was about to physically shoo him away, but I thought that would be incredibly rude. I ignored him and kept reading, thinking that would make him go away, but he didn't move, other than to shift his weight.

  Looking up, in a clearly annoyed tone, I asked, "What?"

  He didn't answer. He just looked at me with regretfully sad eyes. I had always wondered if he ever felt bad for how he'd treated me. I held those thoughts at bay. I wasn't going to contemplate that now or ever.

  He ran his hands through his hair. His voice dropped to almost a whisper. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

  Behind my lightly tinted sunglasses, I closed my eyes, holding back the sting of his words. "Rick, you really should go now," I practically whimpered.

  This isn't good. My heart hurt as the pain, betrayal, loss, and even the once-felt love strangled me. I didn't want to get emotional in front of him. He didn't deserve my tears. I wished I'd worn my dark sunglasses. I needed him to leave.

  However, Rick was never one to listen. Coming closer, he crouched down next to my chair. I fought the reflex to look at him as my body naturally turned toward him. Slightly out of instinct, my hand wanted to reach for his face to caress along his jaw. Instead, I gripped my Kindle. Although I refused to look at him, I could feel his presence. His scent surrounded me as memories rushed over me. I was instantly transported back to a time when I believed in him and us.

  "Please, Daniela," he begged, bowing his head. "Please don't hate me. Tell me what to do."

  "Rick, just go." I was on the verge of tears.

  I couldn't do this. He needed to leave.

  "Okay, Daniela, I'll go," he said, defeated. He pulled himself up, holding on to my chair for support.

  I turned my face in the opposite direction. He was too close, and this was too hard. He left, but his scent lingered behind.

  As soon as Rick left, I released the breath I was holding. I didn't know how to feel about the entire thing. I wanted to scream and throw something. I wondered what it would be like to run into him again after all time. In fact, a couple of weeks earlier, I'd been worried that I'd run into him at Breathe. It would've been different there. I'd been prepared with support around me. This time, I was alone and caught off-guard. I felt ambushed. I'd never expected to see him here. I'd been coming here for over a year and never once saw him.

  It was as though an old wound ripped open. I was vulnerable and exposed. None of the things I'd thought I would say came out of my mouth. I didn't even feel the things I'd thought I would feel. I was all over the place, and I hated it. I hadn't spent all this time hiding from him. I wasn't afraid of seeing him again. I just didn't want to. The memory of him had almost faded. Now, from just seeing him, everything—his voice, his eyes, and his scent—was vivid. I wanted to scream.

  Like I'd been punched in the gut, the wind knocked out of me, I felt the hurt and rejection all over again. I couldn't sit still. I got up and walked around as adrenaline pumped rapidly through my body. I felt like I was actually crawling out of my skin. Pacing around the table, I ran my hands through my hair, practically undoing my bun. My eyes pooled with tears as I became conflicted. I fanned the area to get rid of his scent. I moved the chairs around, so I wouldn't touch the one he placed his hands on. I was sure that anyone looking at me would consider my behavior typical of the South Beach freak show.

  The more I thought about him, the more the sadness and hurt were replaced by anger. I couldn't believe the motherfucker actually came up to me. He's fucking sorry for hurting me? The fucking asshole actually wants me to not hate him? I exhaled, shaking my head. Why on earth is this happening to me now? With my hands on my waist, I continued to pace as I took some cleansing breaths to calm down. It wasn't working.

  "What's got your panties in a bunch?" Macy asked as she walked up to me.

  I turned to her as heat radiated off my face. "My panties are not in a bunch."

  Macy looked unconvinced as she eyed my Kindle. "Please tell me that you aren't pacing around and messing up your hair because of a book boyfriend."

  I stopped moving and positioned myself in front of her. I was prepared to pounce. I wondered if that would help me feel better. I needed to hurt someone. She seemed like a likely candidate. As I was about to spew some venom on her and explain why I was pissed off, Candace greeted us.

  In a perfectly annoying tone, she said, "Hey, girls."

  I wanted to scream and throw something at them. Now that they were the new targets, I resumed my pacing to contain my brewing anger. Macy was being Macy as she bothered the shit out of me, and Candace was being Candace as she acted fucking perky. Beyond pissed off, I was about to explode.

  "What's the matter with Dani?" Candace asked Macy.

  "No idea," Macy responded. "I was about to find out before you waltzed in with your air kisses."

  I hated that they were talking about me like I wasn't even there. I growled at them.

  "Dani, sweetheart…" Candace said. She took command as was customary in this type of situation. "What's the matter? Why are you so upset?"

  I stopped. "Other than the fact that Macy is annoying the crap out of me, and you are just too freaking perky and happy? Do you really want to know?"


  "Obviously, I want to know, Dani," Candace said in an almost sweet tone. She was unaffected by my insults. Yes, she was using her calm and assertive Dog Whisperer power.

  I was trying to get into my submissive role, but unfortunately, I was in the red zone. "One word: Rick!" I screamed and stopped pacing as I placed my hands on the table.

  I stared directly into Candace's perfectly made up eyes. Briefly, I was impressed with the eye shadow color she'd chosen, making her blue eyes look vibrant. This minor distraction allowed me to get my bearings.

  "Rick is enough to make us all upset. Tell us what he did, and we'll go chop his dick off," Macy said matter-of-factly.

  "I was minding my own business and getting ready to read. He saw me, stopped, and had the audacity to talk to me. That's what he did." I placed my hands on my hips and pursed my lips. "He should have kept moving along, but no, he didn't give a shit that I wanted him to leave me alone. He wanted me to not to hate him. As usual, it was all about him and what he wanted. He didn't seem to care what I thought or felt when he had his hands all over Ely on the dance floor or when he threw me out of his apartment. But, oh no, now it matters because it's what he wants."

  I let out a deep sigh as I closed my eyes. Now, I was sad again. I plopped down in my chair and dropped my head to the table. "I'm such a loser. I almost effing touched the motherfucker!" I was angry with him and with myself. "I can't believe I'm so upset about that piece of shit. My life is good, and I've met an amazing man that makes me smile. Liam is awesome." I paused and then asked, "Right?"