“Hey, I’m the guest here and I get to choose. Besides, you agreed to do whatever I wanted, remember?” Lifting my head again, I cut my eyes at her even though she doesn’t notice or care.
Usually, that would be true, but that was before I knew drinking and dancing were on the table. When she called to tell me she was coming to visit and wanted to know if I would like to hang out, I thought it would be a great opportunity to put myself back out into the world again—to reconnect with myself more as well as an old friend, but I would have chickened out for sure if I’d known she had this in mind.
“I’m just not sure I’m ready for something like that. I’ve been trying to take baby steps here and you’re trying to get me to run.”
“Okay, look…” she starts, putting down her eyeliner before turning to face me. “I didn’t want to play this card, but truth be told, I need a fun night out. Things with Christopher haven’t been good lately—which is really why I’m here. I had to get away from him and all the bullshit back there. So, if you won’t have fun for yourself, will you please do it for me?”
“Fuuuck!” I groan, getting up to go change my clothes.
Julianna’s husband is a shit and we all know it, but it’s never something she openly talks about. If she’s admitting things are bad, they must be really bad. Julianna’s always been a great friend to me and I’m going to be there for her—even if it means getting drunk and going dancing.
“What are you still doing here?” Susan, the high school’s front desk receptionist, asks, peeking her head into my office door.
“Just finishing up some paperwork.” I shoot her a full smile and her cheeks flush a deep pink.
After my talk with Allison about Lizzy, I decided to leave it alone. For two weeks now, I’ve had to fight every urge I’ve had to see her again, and I’ve been thankful for the distraction work has provided to aid in that endeavor. With the added workload from the elementary school, I’ve been able to fill the extra hours of my days studying student files and completing paperwork.
The real test came when I received a call from Lizzy’s sister. I didn’t answer the call, but she left a message, first scolding me for not telling her about Lizzy’s panic attack, and then thanking me. She said she’s seen big changes in Lizzy, and although she didn’t exactly understand it, her gut told her I played a role in that. The prospect of Lizzy changing just from having met me feels incredible—like maybe she feels the same kind of insane connection I do—but I still ignored Cat’s request to see Lizzy again.
“It’s Friday, don’t you have a date or something tonight?” she asks, stepping all the way into my office, twirling a piece of her blonde hair around her finger.
She’s being about as subtle as a flashing neon sign and I can barely resist the urge to roll my eyes. Susan’s an attractive woman and fun to flirt with, but I’ve made it a rule never to get involved with anyone I work with. It tends to make the no-strings bit a little more difficult.
I considered making plans with Angela, thinking a night with her would be a welcome distraction from my continuous thoughts of Lizzy, but the idea of spending my time with someone I care nothing for no longer holds any appeal. I’ve never felt anything aside from lust when I’m around her, and before I met Lizzy, that was enough.
Lizzy stirs all this shit up inside me when she’s around, though. She makes my pulse race and I feel more alive. It may be crazy and stupid, but I want more of that. I think anything else would seem unsatisfying now.
“Nope, not tonight,” I reply, keeping my eyes focused on my paperwork.
“Oh…well, don’t work too hard. I guess I’ll see you Monday.”
“Yep. Bye, Susan.” Lifting my gaze, I give her a halfhearted wave as she retreats from my office, leaving me to my peaceful solitude once again.
I try to refocus on the work laid out in front of me, but my mind keeps drifting back to Lizzy. Giving into temptation, I pull up the Facebook app on my phone.
My obsession with her had almost become manageable, until she sent me a friend request last night. My pulse raced as I stared at that request, my mouse hovering over the approve button, knowing nearly two weeks of what had felt like trying to quit a bad habit was about to go down the drain, but Lizzy sought me out. She made a move to place the ball back in my court, and I couldn’t help clicking that button.
I was lost for hours after that, going through every single one of her pictures and posts. There wasn’t a lot, but everything I did see was with Xander. There were pictures of them on their wedding day and honeymoon, pictures of the many holidays and anniversaries they spent together, and even pictures of them together when they were in college. Her posts were all about the sweet and thoughtful things Xander had done for her—the type of grandiose gestures that make it hard for the rest of us to impress a woman. He seemed like a saint—a saint who loved Lizzy just as much as she loved him.
Seeing how much he loved her and knowing she wasn’t over him had me wondering what could possibly be keeping them apart. Whatever happened hadn’t changed the way Lizzy felt about him, and the thought of her with him made my chest ache as an insane jealousy weighed on me.
I’ve never wanted a relationship like the one they had. I’ve never desired having that kind of connection with someone. Now, I find myself wanting those things with a woman I don’t know—a woman who had and wanted that with someone else. My resolve to stay away from her should have strengthened after last night, but it crumbles right with my common sense the second Facebook informs me of her plans for the evening.
Not allowing myself any time to reconsider my actions, I gather my things, my pulse racing with anticipation. Turning off the office light and shutting the door behind me, I make a beeline for my car, placing a call to Jon on my way out.
“Yo, Jon! Do you have plans tonight?”
A Fun Time
“Please stop looking so glum, chum,” Julianna says, speaking over the loud music and bumping my shoulder with hers. When I turn to look at her, she bobs to the music. “You promised me a fun time.”
Laughing, I shake my head, feeling extremely grateful we were able to grab a table in the back corner of the bar. “I’m not being glum. I was just thinking about someone—something. I was just thinking about something.”
Catching my slip up, Julianna narrows her eyes at me. The moment Julianna informed me she tagged me in her Facebook post, my mind drifted to Brenden. After trying to get him off my mind for weeks—quite unsuccessfully—I got the bright idea to cyber stalk him, wanting to know more about this mysterious man who popped up out of nowhere, awakening things inside me I thought I lost.
He’d been fairly easy to find even with only having his location and first name, but of course, his profile was set to private and I’d been faced with a choice: leave it and him alone forever or send him a friend request and get the information I was seeking. On impulse, I sent that request, not even considering he’d be able to find out more about me as well.
“I’m going to let that comment slide for now,” Julianna says, her eyebrow raising along with the corners of her mouth. “I’ll be able to get more out of you once you have a few drinks anyway.” Heat rushes into my face as she holds up a shot glass, urging me to do the same. “Here’s to letting go of our stresses and enjoying life for a change.”
After a quick clink of our glasses, we tilt them and our heads back, allowing the liquor to rush down our throats. The bitter taste and burning sensation causes me to shake my head as I slam the glass back down on the table, my head already beginning to swim due to my low tolerance.
“I’m not going to make it very long if we keep going at this pace,” I tell her, allowing my eyes to scan the small bar again. People crowd the dance floor across from us, the bar on the far side of the room, and tables around us. My gaze stops on all the tall, dark-haired men, but none are him. Running into Brenden three days in row left me expecting to see him everywhere I go, and I find myself feeling a sting of disappoint
ment each time he doesn’t show.
My Facebook stalking did help me learn a few things about him. It hadn’t helped explain the odd way I felt drawn to him or how I gained his attention in the first place, though. We seemed to have nothing in common. The pictures of him sky-diving, snowboarding, hiking, and traveling with different women told me Brenden was that free-spirited, non-committal type. I’ve never done any of those things and doubt I’d ever have the courage to try. As for the women he’d been with, there were a lot, and I looked nothing like any of them.
“Looking for anyone in particular?” Julianna asks, chuckling as my eyes snap back over to her. The burning sensation from the shot returns as I shake my head.
“No,” I croak, coughing as I choke on my lie. “I told you, everyone I knew from school comes here. I’m merely trying to spot them before they can spot me.”
Julianna taps her nails on the table. Tilting her head slightly, her brows pull together as she studies me. “You do remember you’re an awful liar, right?”
“Oh, whatever,” I scoff, picking up my beer. She’s right, I’m a terrible liar, and it’s best I just avoid the topic altogether. Of course, that will be hard to do if he shows up—which a part of me is hoping for.
“Why did you want to come if you’re going to sulk all night?” Jon asks, shaking his head as he picks his beer up off the bar and takes a sip.
“I’m not sulking, asshole. We just got here. I’m taking a minute to scout out our surroundings,” I reply before taking a drink of my own beer, my eyes skirting across the room again without finding the person I’m seeking. Giving up, I turn back to face the bar and set my bottle down before wiping away the condensation from it and my hand.
“I think you’re the one sulking,” I retort, causing him to scowl. “If you don’t want Allison to date, you should tell her how you feel and stop dating other women.”
“Screw you, Bren,” Jon hisses before downing the rest of his beer and waving the bartender over for another. “Don’t talk about shit you know nothing about and don’t understand.”
“What’s to understand?” I scoff, scratching my beard. “I know she’s the one you want to be with, but what I don’t know is why you aren’t with her. It has to be a better option than pining over her your entire life.”
“No,” Jon growls, slamming his hands onto the bar before tucking his hair behind both of his ears. “That’s what you don’t get. I don’t just want to be with her. I’m not looking to just get her into my bed. If that were—” he cuts himself off and pinches the bridge of his nose before starting again. “I love Ally and can’t risk losing her by trying to have all of her. If you ever fall in love, we can discuss this further. Until then, Ally is off limits.”
“Whatever you say, man,” I reply with a quick tilt of my head before polishing off what’s left of my beer. The bartender surprises me when she sets a new one in front of me before I even have a chance to put the empty back down. Her intentions become blatantly obvious when her fingers brush mine as she takes the bottle from me, her eyes roaming my body as her tongue darts out to wet her lips. I lift the fresh beer from the bar and tilt it to her in thanks as Jon scoffs in disgust. “I have no intentions of falling in love,” I tell him, smirking as I turn my back to the bar again.
“That’s the thing about love. It isn’t something you intend to do. It’s something that tends to happen unexpectedly, and once it grabs ahold of you, it doesn’t let go,” Jon says, crossing his arms as he props himself against the bar.
“Sounds like a real motherfucker to me,” I quip, my eyes scanning the room again as I tip my beer bottle to my lips.
When the crowd on the dance floor thins out due to a song change, my gaze locks on two women sitting at a table in the back. Their appearances are seemingly similar, both having pale skin and dark hair, but only one causes my breath to catch and my heart to thud heavily in my chest. I’m certain she could be in a crowd of hundreds of women who look like her and I’d still know her in an instant.
Incapable of moving my eyes away from her, I watch as she smiles and laughs with her friend. The interaction looks unlike anything I’ve seen from her so far. Her smile is wider and eyes brighter without the intense sadness there to darken them. As my desire to go over to her increases, my mind wanders back to Jon’s comment, and I ponder whether the universe is trying to tell me something.
“Well, you do have a good eye. I’ll give you that,” Jon says, slapping his hand on my shoulder. Turning, I realize he’s focused on the same table as my fists clench. “What are we waiting for? We should go over and say hello. Dibs on the one on the right,” he says, bringing his greedy little eyes back to me, a grin on his face as he rubs his hands together.
“I don’t fucking think so,” I say, my voice booming as my blood reaches boiling status. The couple next to Jon turns and gawks at us, but I don’t give a shit. Jon’s eyes are wide, his eyebrows raised in question as I take a deep, calming breath. He more than likely doesn’t recognize her from the restaurant, and even if he did, it wouldn’t explain my reaction. “I know her. I don’t think you’re her type,” I explain, offering a light laugh and half-cocked smile—an attempt to cover my earlier outburst.
“Damn it! You’ve already slept with her?” Jon asks, his eyes moving toward the back of the bar again.
“No,” I answer, my teeth gritted as I shift to block his line of sight. “She’s just a friend.”
“A friend?” he scoffs, lifting onto his tippy toes to see over me. “Yeah right. We both know Ally and I are your only friends. You’re trying to play me. You don’t even know that woman.”
I place my hand on his shoulder, bringing him back flat on his feet. “Care to make a little wager on that, ye of little faith?”
I have no clue how Lizzy will react or what she’s going to say when I approach her, but I feel confident it won’t be negative, given she sought me out. Either way, I’ll be able to prove I do know her…well, kind of.
Jon takes a sip of his beer before placing it back on the bar and spinning it on its edges while he observes me with drawn eyebrows. “All right, I may regret this because I can never seem to tell when you are bullshitting me, but I’ll take that wager. My gut is telling me there is no way you know a woman that beautiful and haven’t slept with her. So, what’s on the table here?”
“You’ll be buying my beer the rest of the night,” I reply, holding my bottle up to him before taking another sip.
“Yeah, okay,” Jon scoffs, shaking his head. “And if you’re proven a liar, I keep my dibs and you don’t interfere.”
My shoulders stiffen as the unwanted and unwarranted rage rears its ugly head again. “Fine,” I grit out, a forced smile curving my lips. “Just give me one second.”
Reaching into my front pocket, I grab my phone and pull it out to send my friend Darren, who happens to be the DJ, a quick text.
“Wait,” Jon says, trying to look at my phone, “what are you doing?”
My eyes move to the DJ booth in the back corner opposite Lizzy. Darren lifts his phone and reads my message before holding his thumb up. I’m in business.
“Showing you how it’s done,” I reply, a cocky grin on my face as I grab my beer from the counter. My heart thunders in my chest, but I do my best to keep my bravado in place.
Take Your Time
“Holy shit!” I whisper when the beginning melody of the Sam Hunt song blasts through the speakers of the bar. My eyes wide, I begin searching through the crowds of people surrounding us again, my pulse racing.
“What?” Julianna asks, turning to see what’s grabbed my attention, but I can’t respond—I can barely breathe as my eyes continue to scan the room. He’s here. I know it—I can feel it. “Lizzy? Hey!” she tries again, waving her hand in front of my face, but I’m frozen. And when my eyes finally land on him, my breathing stops altogether.
He’s heading toward me, a shorter blond man following close behind him. There’s a determination in his
movements as he easily dodges everyone standing in his path, his eyes never leaving me or noticing the different women trying to gain his attention. His full, mischievous smile spreads across his face once he realizes I’ve spotted him, causing my own lips to curve and my face to heat.
“What the hell are you looking at?” Julianna asks, trying again to find what or who has my attention. “Well, damn,” she says, reaching over to squeeze my arm as Brenden approaches the table. “I think that one warrants a holy fuck.”
“Shhh,” I hiss, kicking her under the table as he comes to a stop in front of us.
“Hello, beautiful,” he says, his voice thick and smooth. My back straightens as a shiver shoots through me.
Julianna squeezes my arm again, reminding me to speak. “Hello, Brenden,” I greet in return, my voice coming out shaky and unsure. My hand shoots up to fidget with my necklace, needing something to stabilize my emotions, while I tap my fingers on my drink.
“Well, damn,” the man standing next to Brenden says, hitting him lightly on the arm. “Are you going to introduce me to your friend here?”
Brenden’s head snaps over and he cuts his eyes at him before turning his attention back to me. “Lizzy, this is my friend Jon. Jon, this is Lizzy.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Jon says, a little too flirty. My cheeks instantly heat. He’s an attractive man, reminding me a bit of Bodhi from Point Break—almost the complete opposite of Brenden.
Julianna makes a throat clearing sound next to me, drawing everyone’s attention. “Oh, I’m sorry, this is my friend Julianna.”
“Nice to meet you both. Would you like to join us?” She waves her hand out in front of her, gesturing to the two empty seats at our table. Unsure how I feel about their presence, my breath catches as they accept her invitation and take a seat. I wanted to see and even talk to him again, but not where Julianna could witness it. She tends to be very observant and I don’t need her pointing out things I’m trying to ignore.
In This Moment (In This Moment #1) Page 7