Amorevolous: (Savage Princess book 2)

by liberty freer

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper, clinging to him as he carries me to the bed where he holds me against his chest. “I’m so sorry.” By going to Tennessee, I was taking the easy way out. I didn’t want to face the shame I feel. I’ve never felt overwhelming guilt like this. I’ve driven myself crazy the past three days, going over and over the different ways I could have handled things and the possible outcomes that might have occurred.

  “You can’t cut me out like that, Hayley,” Nick says. “Ever. You can’t do that.” He lifts my chin to look me in the eyes. “I’m serious. I told you I was in this. I fucking love you.”

  His words have my heart racing and more tears falling. “I just… I couldn’t face them. I can’t face Aiden. I know they all wanted to find me, but it feels like as soon as I walked into their lives, everything came crashing down.” I hold back tears as I prepare to confess my truth. The thing I’ve felt since I was a kid. “What if I’m like a bad omen or something. I feel like I ruin lives. Maybe I’m meant to be alone.”

  He squeezes me against his chest. “No, baby. That’s not true, and your family wants you home. Aiden’s waiting for you. John got ahold of him today; told him you took off, thinking it was your fault. He came back to help look for you. You gotta come back, baby. You can’t hide anymore.”

  I know he’s right. I’ve been a coward, hiding out with my grief. I think I just needed to suffer alone in pain. I felt like I deserved that, but I didn’t mean to cause anyone else pain too.

  Chapter 39

  My stomach’s at my feet as Nick opens the door to the house and we shuffle in hand-in-hand. I’m sweating all over and my mouth is watering with the need to be sick.

  “She’s here!”

  Liv’s the first to see me. She’s dressed in cheetah print leggings and a black tunic. Her hair is glossy with a sparkly clip pinning back one side. She always looks more put together than me. Dropping her doll next to the couch, she rushes over, and I bend down and pull her in. My baby sister.

  With worried eyes, she leans back and studies my face. “Is your grandma better?”

  “Yeah,” I say, smoothing down her hair. On the way here, Nick informed me they told Liv I had to help my sick grandma in Tennessee.

  She smiles and bounces on her feet. “So, you’re gonna stay home now?”

  “Yeah, I’m home,” I say, and she turns around to John who’s approaching. “Hayley gonna stay home now! Her grandma is all better, Daddy.”

  “That’s great news,” John says. “We’re all happy she’s back.” His eyes meet mine as I’m getting to my feet. “Hey, bunny.” He steps around Liv to wrap me in his arms. “I want you to know this is not your fault,” John says quietly near my ear. “Nora was sick. We all want you here. This is your home. I’m so sorry if she made you feel differently.”

  I nod into his chest, feeling my throat tightening.

  “Daddy, quit hogging her,” Liv whines, smooshing herself between us.

  John chuckles and lifts her into his arms. “Liv missed you a lot.” He bounces her in his hold. “Why don’t we give sissy and Aiden some privacy so they can talk,” John says, nodding to Aiden who’s hanging back with Colt. “Colt, Nick, why don’t we head into the other room.”

  I keep my eyes on Aiden as everyone shuffles out. He looks the same. I thought he might be permanently fucked-up after his mom jumped from a window. He’s wearing his regular clothes, jeans with a plain tee.

  “You okay?” he asks, shoving his hands into his pockets.

  “Are you?” I counter because he dipped out too.

  “No,” he says honestly. “But I will be, and I don’t blame you, Hayley. I didn’t take off because I thought any of this was your fault.”

  “But it is my fault,” I say. “I was with her right before she…” I swallow.

  “I was there the day before.” He pulls his hand from his pockets to run through his hair. “I really laid into her. I was so pissed. I let my anger dictate my words, and there was a lot of pent-up shit from over the years. I was brutal.”

  I can’t tell him how I threatened to out her secret to Alexander. How I played up the fact I wasn’t her real daughter. If he knew that, he might not be so harsh on himself. I step closer, making my way over to the couch and sitting on the arm, Liv’s doll by my feet. “How is she?”

  Sighing, Aiden drops down on the couch across from me. “Not good. Her doctor says she had a psychotic break with reality. The trauma of your kidnapping plus the years of medications. She was on way more medicine than she should have been. She’s being weaned off some potent shit.” He sighs. “The doctor said she might never be who she was, but he thinks she’ll get better.”

  “Do you think she’ll ever believe I’m her daughter?”

  Aiden nods. “Her doctor thinks so. Will you be able to forgive her for everything she’s done?”

  I look away from him, not wanting him to see the conflict on my face. She and I having any type of civil relationship seems almost impossible. I can’t make that decision now. I’ll need to see how things play out.

  “You forgave Camden?” he asks, lines creasing his forehead.

  I nod, knowing it will seem hypocritical of me to forgive him and not her.

  “I don’t get it.” He shakes his head. “And he’s been hanging around here, talking to our dad and Nick. Dad doesn’t know all the details about what happened with Camden, so there’s no reason for him to hate him, but Nick…” He scoffs. “I don’t see how Nick can get past that bullshit. Every time I see Camden, I want to beat his face in.”

  I tug my bottom lip, trying to think of a way to explain this without telling him why I forgave Camden. “I asked Nick to trust me. Camden isn’t a bad person. The things he’s done in life were to protect others. Can you accept that? Maybe one day Camden will tell you.”

  Still looking pissed off, he says, “I don’t see how you can forgive him. Not after everything he’s done.”

  I straighten and cross my legs. “Do you think I’m a bad person, Aiden?”

  “No,” he says, like that’s the obvious answer.

  “I’ve done some really bad things in my life.” Hoping he can keep a secret, I decide to tell him one of mine. “A drunk driver killed my mom. It was noon and the dude was trashed, and because he had friends in high places, he got a slap on the wrist. He never even spent a night in jail. A couple witnesses said he was clearly drunk. They smelled the alcohol on him, but guess what?” I lick my teeth and shake my head. “It was swept away. I couldn’t let it go. I confronted him one day and he didn’t even say sorry. He acted like it was her fault.” I take a deep breath. “So, I lit his house on fire.” I watch Aiden’s eyes widen in surprise. “He wasn’t inside at the time. I didn’t want to kill him, just take something of his away. He had a huge home. It was beautiful, and I watched it burn. I knew someone that helped me make it look like an accident. Now, would you answer the question the same if I asked you again? Do you think I’m a bad person, Aiden?”

  He shifts uncomfortably. “I… I don’t think what you did was right, but I understand why you did it.” He looks me head-on. “No, you’re not a bad person.”

  “Then understand that Camden has a valid reason for doing the things he did. He’s a good person, better than me. I did what I did out of revenge. Camden did everything to protect an innocent person.”

  “I feel like things could have been handled differently…”

  “Well, they weren’t, Aiden. This is how shit turned out.”

  “I trust you,” he says. “And if you can forgive Camden after everything he put you through, I’ll try.” He sighs. “I’m gonna fucking have to. Dad really likes him. I think he feels bad about the letter and his dad disowning him over it.”

  I know Camden said John doesn’t know he knows, but maybe he does. Nora was having a breakdown about Alexander finding out, and then Camden goes and ruins his relationship with their family. That’s a huge coincidence, one that John might have seen through. I g
et to my feet. “So, we’re good?”

  “Yeah.” He smiles. “We’re good. I’m gonna head back to my place. Still need some space. I’m in my head. It’s got nothing to do with you.”

  “I get it. I’ll be here if you need anything.” I watch him walk away, hoping we really are good. I know he cares about me, but there has been a lot of testing our relationship lately.

  Nick wraps his arms around me, pulling my back against his chest and kissing the top of my head. “He’ll be okay.”

  “I know.” I turn to face him.

  “Where’s Camden?” Liv asks, bouncing into the room with a pink pony in one hand and a brush in the other? “He said he was coming back to play ponies.”

  “He isn’t here yet,” Nick says.

  Liv scoffs. “I’m going to have Daddy call him. He’s taking too long.” She skips away, yelling for John.

  “Something’s up with that. Camden genuinely seems to like playing with her. I tried to talk to John, but he didn’t seem worried.”

  “He won’t hurt her,” I say.

  “That’s what John said.” Nick shakes his head.

  “He won’t. You can trust Camden again.”

  “Maybe,” he murmurs, running his down my side to land on my waist. “What about Graysen? Are you going to forgive him too?”

  “Nope.” I shiver when Nick’s hand slips under my shirt to make circles on my skin. “Graysen will always be his dad’s puppet. He’s not salvageable.”

  “I’ve missed you,” Nick whispers, his other hand landing on my side, right under my rib cage.

  I kiss his jaw. “I’ve missed you too, so much.” I lick my dry lips as heat shoots through my body when his hand rises higher, his finger brushing over the fabric of my bra.

  He cups me between my legs, and I let out a small gasp. “I’ve missed this too, baby girl.” He chuckles. “Come on, princess. Why don’t I run you a bath?”

  “Really?” A small laugh leaves me. “A bath?”

  He kisses the top of my head and wraps his arm around my waist as we walk toward the stairs. “Yes, really, baby.” He cups the back of my neck, fingers rubbing gentle circles. “You’ve been through hell. You need to relax.”

  I snort. “I must look really bad.”

  He chuckles. “And that.”

  Chapter 40

  Liv sets down a red three. “Uno!” She grins and wags her last card in the air, not noticing she’s showing it to us.

  “Wow, you’re great at this game. I don’t think I’ve ever met another kid that wins as much as you, Liv,” Camden says, feigning disbelief.

  “Yep, she’s a natural,” I say, picking a card from the stack even though I could have played a card in my hand. We’ve let Liv win most of the games because she’s spoiled, and we don’t like to see her upset.

  Camden and I have really bonded over her the past couple weeks. We’re both getting to know our sister. I wouldn’t have thought he’d be good with kids, but he’s so patient with her. She already has him wrapped around her finger.

  They fell asleep together on the couch yesterday when we were all watching a movie. It was adorable. I took a million photos. I would love to post one for the world to see. He’s gotten such a bad rap, but I know the image of him and Liv curled up on the couch surrounded by ponies would melt everyone’s hearts.

  I guess now I understand the reason Liv has been kept out of the media. Nora and John didn’t want to risk Alexander realizing she looks just like him and Graysen.

  “She’s zoned out again,” I hear Liv say.

  I blink back to reality. “Right. You won?” I ask, not seeing any cards in her hand, and Camden’s are laid out in front of him.

  “Yep,” Liv says proudly and then wrinkles her nose. “You guys need practice.”

  “Ready, Liv?” Sophie asks, her cheeks turning bright red. “It’s getting late.” She always blushes around Camden. Girl has got it bad.

  “Okay,” Liv says, not putting up a fight like the previous night when it was bedtime.

  I think it’s because we wore her out today. Camden bends down so she can jump onto his back, and then they and Sophia are off. That’s been their routine every night. Camden usually heads to his apartment once she’s tucked in and he comes back around lunchtime the next day.

  Before John and Colt left last week to film, John invited Camden to stay here, told him he could have the guest room. Camden thanked him but turned the offer down. His apartment is only twenty minutes away, and while Nick and Aiden tolerate him hanging around, I think they might lose their shit if Camden moved in.

  The pesky pain in my bladder has me getting to my feet and hurrying to the bathroom. I hiss as I empty my bladder. It’s been burning all damn day, and I’ve already peed like fifty times. Nick and I have been fucking like crazy, so I probably have a damn UTI.

  I type “walk-in clinic” into the search bar of my phone. Sunset Family walk-in looks to be the closest one and they are open till nine.

  I finish in the bathroom and find Aiden in the kitchen when I’m grabbing a bottle of water because the internet says drinking water can help flush out the bacteria associated with UTIs, but I’ve already had ten bottles of water and I’m not feeling better.

  I open the fridge door and frown. No more bottles of water. I’m spoiled now. I used to never drink bottled water, just tap. “I’m headed out,” I tell Aiden, who’s sitting at the bar smiling at something on his phone. “Mind telling Nick when him and Casey get back?”

  “They should be back in a minute. The store isn’t far,” Aiden says. “Where you going?”

  “Walk-in clinic. I think I have a UTI. I need antibiotics, and the clinic closes in forty-five minutes, so I have to go now.”

  “Oh… uh… I’ll come with you,” he says, looking kind of uncomfortable. “Yeah?”

  I toss him the keys to my BMW M2 that John and I picked out the other day. “You drive.”

  A minute later, we’re buckled in and headed down the road. I shoot Nick a text telling him what’s up and not to eat any of the movie night snacks that he and Casey went to grab.

  When we pull up to the clinic, I already feel like I have to pee again. This shit sucks. My back’s hurting a little too, which isn’t a good sign.

  After filling out the paperwork, I hand them the cash I borrowed from Aiden, and then I’m led into a small room. The crisp paper on the bed crunches and crinkles as I sit.

  “What brings you in today?” the nurse asks as she logs onto her computer screen.

  “I have a UTI.” I wince and shift on the table. My bladder feels so fucking full. “And I gotta pee, so wanna give me a cup?” I ask, knowing they’ll need a sample.

  “Oh… here.” She opens a cabinet above a little sink and pulls out a plastic bag containing a clear plastic cup with a blue lid. “Instructions for collection are inside, and the bathroom is down the hall, last door on the right.”

  I scoot down, the sound of the paper filling the whole room. I hate that paper. I take the cup and walk out the exam room door she holds open for me. The bathroom is where she said, and the instructions haven’t changed since my last UTI. I do as directed and then wipe the cup down with a paper towel and wash my hands.

  The nurse meets me in the hall to take my sample, and I walk back into the exam room to wait. I opt to sit on the chair instead of the uncomfortable-ass table. The nurse comes back in a few minutes later to take my vitals and then leaves, shutting the door behind her.

  After twenty minutes, I’m aggravated, hungry, and freezing, but when I’m about to walk out and see what the holdup is, an older man resembling Santa Claus walks in. He’s wearing a white coat, so I guess he’s the doc.

  “Hello, Miss Thompson. How are we today?” He slowly bends and sinks onto a little stool with wheels. His khaki pants rise, showing his blue and white polka dot socks.

  “Ready to feel better,” I say.

  He chuckles. “That will probably be some time. It’ll all be worth it
in the end.” He flips through papers on a clipboard. “Your urine levels were normal. No white blood cells were detected.”

  “Really? I’ve had a UTI before and I’m having the same symptoms.”

  He continues flipping through his chart. “How are your prenatals?”

  “My what?” I ask, having no idea what he’s talking about.

  He sets the clipboard down. “Are you meeting with your regular doctor? These symptoms are normal. Not much you can do about it. Are you taking your vitamins?”

  I stare at him for a minute. He looks friendly looking, like Santa and all, but he might be well past his prime for this line of work. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say. “Do you have the right clipboard?” I stretch my neck to see if I can see any information on the clipboard he picks back up.

  His brows narrow. “Hayley Thompson?” I nod and he says, “I have the right chart. “How far along are you?”

  “Far along in what?” I laugh lightly ‘cause I think he might have dementia. Not that dementia’s funny, but if your doctor has it… well, I guess that’s not funny either.

  “In the pregnancy.”

  “In the what? Pregnancy? Um… I’m not pregnant.” I laugh louder, ‘cause if I wasn’t on birth control, this would be terrifying.

  His lips pull down into a frown. “I just assumed you knew. I’m sorry for the confusion. We ran a pregnancy test along with your urine sample and it was positive. Pregnant was marked in your chart, but I guess the nurse checked that box because of your test. I had assumed you marked it.”

  My face drains of color and my head literally swims. I clutch the arm of the chair. “I’m on birth control,” I whisper.

  “Oh… well, there’s still a chance of pregnancy even with contraception.” He pulls out a prescription pad. “I can write down a few OBGYNs if you don’t have one already.” He glances at the clipboard. “You’re self-pay? Here, let me give you the number to a place that might be able to help with insurance if you need it.”

  I feel something tickling my fingers and look down to see him trying to give me the slip of paper. I stare at it for a few seconds before taking it. I think he says something else, but I can’t even see him as my shaky legs carry me down the hall.