by Lisa Sommers
I sit in the sauna until I am sweating bullets, but my muscles feel a little looser so it’s worth it. I step around the corner, wiping the sweat from my face and neck, when I just about lose my load. The sight of Alli wearing a two-piece, black, string bikini and relaxing in the hot tub, makes me lose all train of thought. Her eyes are closed and her head is tilted back against the tile, so she doesn’t see me. I’m conflicted on whether I should slip into the water or sneak by her and head straight up to my room.
After watching her take a deep breath, making her beautiful chest rise and fall with the motion, I make the decision—against my better judgement—to take a step into the hot water.
Chapter 15
Alli
The steaming hot water is so relaxing. After the day I’ve had, winding down in the hotel hot tub was the only thing on my mind. Well, maybe I had other thoughts of a certain someone, but going with my gut rather than lust was the better choice. For the moment, anyway. When I told Shane I didn’t trust him, it couldn’t have been further from the truth. It’s me I don’t trust. When he decided to shave all of his beautiful hair off in support of his sister, I think I may have fallen in love with him. Not to mention the way he made that little boy’s dream come true.
Being in that hospital brought back a lot of memories of Michael, and I couldn’t decide if it was a good or bad decision to come. But I learned something today. I saw a different side of Shane. I had no doubt he was a caring guy, but seeing him in action with his little sister made me take a mental step backward with my feelings. Am I wrong about him? Am I comparing him too much to Jack? I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t afford to get hurt like that again. Keeping my distance is what I need to do to not make that happen. My newfound feeling or not. Taking a deep breath in and then out again, I contemplate what I must do to keep my heart safe.
Shane is off limits.
I feel a light ripple of water against my skin so, without opening my eyes, I scoot over a little bit to give whoever it is room to sit.
The only problem is I know that scent.
It’s Shane.
I refuse to open my eyes, because I know the second that I do, my worries, my fears, and my final decision to stay clear of Shane will be out the window. I don’t seem to have any control when it comes to him, and yet, against my better judgement, I do. I open my eyes.
Shit
“What are you doing here?” I ask, sinking a little lower into the water so that he doesn’t have full vantage of my chest. “Did you follow me?”
He remains quiet, arms stretched out along the rim of the hot tub, eyes locked on mine with a sexy grin that I’m sure leaves all the willing women dropping their panties. I’m beginning to feel self-conscience with him staring at me. “Why are you here?” I whisper.
“I’m here to support my sister.”
“That’s not what I mean. Why are you here in the hot tub?”
Shane releases his grip from the rim of the hot tub and rubs the palms of his hands roughly over his face. “I was in the sauna, relieving some stress. I came out and noticed you in here.” He holds his arms up in surrender. “I swear I didn’t know you’d be down here. Promise.”
I nod my head at his answer. I suppose he wouldn’t have had a clue I was here.
“Why are you here?” he asks, his cocky attitude on display.
“For the same reason as you.”
“But you don’t know my sister.”
He’s right. I’d never met her before.
“Why did you agree to come with me?”
Ass. “I thought you asked me to come to support you since I had gone through a similar situation with my little brother.”
“If Cal told you Derek needed you to go out of town with him for a week, would you?” Now that I think about it, no. I wouldn’t have. Why did I agree come here?
“What are you getting at, Shane?” I know exactly what he’s getting at, and I refuse to give him the satisfaction.
“Nothing. Just making conversation.”
“You’re an ass.”
One side of his mouth quirks up in triumph. “I’ve been called worse.”
Sadly, all I can think about is letting my tongue slide over the creases around his lips.
“Tell me about you and Cal.”
Whoa, wait. Why would he ask me about Cal? I blink a couple of times in confusion. “We’re dating.” I lie. Technically, we’re not dating. We’ve been spending time together, but nothing has progressed beyond that. Except for that one night, but Shane put a stop to that before the deal was ever sealed.
Shane slowly nods his head as if assessing my answer. I feel like he can read me. I wonder if he knows there is nothing between Cal and I.
I stretch my leg out and accidentally bump it up against his thigh. Before I can pull away, Shane grabs my ankle and tugs slightly.
“Don’t you dare.” I squeal. He’s going to pull me under.
Shane suddenly releases his grip, slips under water, and pops up in front me. His face is mere inches from mine, and beads of water are dripping from his face. He brings one hand up and out of the water, and I jolt from the closeness. He brings his fingers to my cheek and rubs it lightly under my eye, then he pulls away.
I mouth the words, “What are you doing?”
“Make a wish.” He holds his thumb and forefinger far enough away and shows me what he has. An eyelash.
This brings me back to that stupid wishbone we tore apart in Dallas. “Been there, done that. It doesn’t work.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” he whispers.
“I guess I don’t have anything to lose. Like I told you before, I’ll take all the luck I can get.” Closing my eyes, I repeat the same wish I made when I pulled on that wishbone.
Happiness. It’s all I want. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’m not asking for much. I just want someone to love me as much as I love them. I want someone to put me first for once. I want the type of relationship that, when I fall asleep in someone’s arms at night, I wake up in the exact same position. I want someone to touch me, and I want to know that what he feels mirrors my own emotions. I want to close my eyes and know that when he kisses me, it comes from his soul. I want that attraction, that pull, and that feeling you have when you can’t get enough of that person. I want someone to crave me. Like it’s never enough. I want to grow old with someone. I just want someone to love me. Is that too much to ask for?
Squeezing my eyelids just a little bit tighter, I pucker my lips and blow.
I want to be happy, I silently repeat.
I slowly open my eyes and notice Shane so close that I can feel his breath on my lips. I feel like all the air in my lungs has suddenly evaporated and taking a breath is a chore. I look from his eyes down to his mouth, feeling that pull. That craving. The part of my wish I so longingly want in my life. I lean my head forward slightly and press my lips to his. Now would be the best time for me to hop out of this oversized bathtub and run. Run as fast as I can. Instead, I tilt my head and take more than I should. I feel Shane’s hands encircle my waist, and his fingertips trail lightly up the side of my rib cage. It feels good. So good that I know I will regret this in the morning. But I can’t stop.
Shane tugs softly, yet the force is so strong that I wrap my legs around his waist to gain balance. To gain support. To gain closeness. It’s like I can’t get close enough. Our bodies are one. If only I could marry both parts of my wish into one.
I know that Shane will crush me beyond belief, yet the thought of letting him go right now is beyond my control.
I knew I shouldn’t have opened my eyes.
I lean my forehead against his and whisper, “Shane”—my breathing is ragged—“I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Why?”
Should I throw Cal’s name out, or should I go with the truth? “Cal.” Yes, I took the cowardly way out.
“I call bullshit.” He shakes his head, clearly frustrated. “You don’t l
ook at him the way you look at me. Fuck, you don’t even want him. I see it in the way you are around him. You don’t want him.”
“You don’t know what I want. Besides, you’ve only seen us together a few times. What gives you the right to tell me who I do and do not want?”
“You haven’t denied me.”
He’s right.
“No, I haven’t. You mess with my mind. Whatever this is between us”—I shake my head—“it isn’t right. It won’t work.”
“Why? Why do you keep pushing me away?”
“I’m sorry. I admit, at first I couldn’t get you out of my mine. Well, I still can’t, but the point is I thought there was something between us in Dallas . . .”
“There was!” he interjects. “And don’t be sorry. But answer this. Why didn’t you call me?”
Call him? How? “You left! You’re the one that left me. I didn’t know how to get in touch with you. I didn’t even have your first name correct. Besides, why would I try to get in touch with you? You clearly didn’t want more from me.”
He pulls back and looks at me like I’m insane. “Are you kidding me? I got a call from my dad’s nurse. He wasn’t going to make so they asked that I fly back to Pittsburgh immediately. Alli, do you have any idea how hard it was to leave you that night? You looked so peaceful, and I could tell you were going through a hard time. I figured you needed the rest. That’s why I put my number in your sweatshirt pocket. Alli, I didn’t want to leave you, but my dad died.”
I gasp on the air in my lungs. “Shane, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t find out about your dad until after I met Cal.”
“It’s okay.” He looks defeated.
“No, it’s not okay. Shane, I also didn’t know that you gave me your number. That dumb flight attendant gave me orange juice in the morning and I accidentally spilled it all over my sweatshirt. I threw it away.”
He furrows his eyebrows. “You never saw my number?”
I shake my head. “No.” I can’t believe he gave me his number and I sat around Chelsea’s condo moping for two weeks.
Suddenly, Shane smashes his lips against mine. It’s rough and intense. He’s kissing me like his life depends on it.
That’s what I want. I want intense.
“Alli, stay with me tonight,” he whispers against my mouth.
Oh my god. I pull back and search his face to see if I heard him correctly. Shane reaches his hand around me, grips my ponytail, and pulls my head back. He puts his mouth on the curve of my neck, and his tongue lazily slides up until he reaches my earlobe. Again, I can’t catch my breath. I feel his hand skate around my back, and I feel another pull, but this time it’s the string on my bikini top.
“Shane!” I chastise.
“Shh, no one’s around.”
I quickly whip my head around to make sure the pool room is empty. It is. “Someone can walk in.” This so isn’t me.
“They won’t.” Shane roughly pushes the front of my swimsuit top over and lays his mouth over my breast.
“Shane, upstairs,” I demand. “Take me upstairs.”
“He pulls back to look into my eyes. “Yeah?” You’ll stay the night with me?” Bewilderment is written across his face.
I nod my head. I literally cannot speak right now. I grab his hand and lead us out of the hot tub. I don’t even bother tying my bikini top, I just wrap a towel around me. The top will be off soon enough, anyway. What’s the point?
“Baby, slow down. Let me grab my phone and room key.” He chuckles as he throws his shirt on. Dang it! I didn’t get a chance to look at that tattoo Kaitlyn was talking about. I guess I can wait a few more minutes.
We get to the elevator, step in, and before the doors even close Shane is on me, pinning me against the cold, mirrored walls. My towel falls to the floor, leaving my top hanging against my chest, barely covering anything. “It’s so cold in here.” I shiver.
“I see that.” He stares at my hard nipples. He wastes no time in warming them up though.
“Ahhh, you feel so good.” I pant, and my head falls back in pleasure.
The elevator dings. Shane turns around and kicks the door close button, giving us another moment to ourselves. I pick up my towel and quickly wrap it around me, then we both step out of the elevator, giggling like teenagers. We round the corner and I nearly have a heart attack.
Chapter 16
Shane
“Coach!” What the fuck is he doing here?
“Cal!” Alli squeals, clearly in shock.
It’s clear she is just as surprised as I am.
“Hey, you two. I just got here,” he says as he saunters over to Alli. “Hey, babe, I wanted to surprise you.”
“Oh.” Alli is completely caught off guard, and so am I. Coach is not going to take it well when Alli tells him to take a hike. “Cal, you should have called. We have to get up early to get to the hospital,” she says.
“It’s okay,” he says, leaning in close to Alli’s ear.
I am going to rip him a new asshole if he doesn’t get the fuck away from her.
“I just figured I could stay with you in your room.” He nuzzles his nose against her neck.
I start pacing the hall, waiting for this nightmare to end. My hands run over my now smooth head, wishing that I had something to grip onto. But nothing hurts worse than watching Cal with his hands on Alli. “Coach . . .”
“Cal, let’s take this to my room. Please,” Alli squeaks out. She’s looking at me, pleading. She gives Cal her room key, and he willingly takes it. Of course, he does. Why wouldn’t he? “Cal, go in and I’ll meet you in a minute. I need to go over the plan for tomorrow with Shane.”
“Sure thing, babe,” he responds.
If he calls her babe one more time I will put my fist through a wall. Cal walks in the room, and I turn around and throw my fist through the opposite wall. Okay, maybe I didn’t need to hear it one more time. Once was enough.
“Shane!” Alli jumps back away from me. “Shane, don’t.”
“I don’t want to hear it,” I yell hastily at her. Fuck me. I just want to get the fuck out of here. This can’t be happening. I’ve waited too long for it to come to this. “Fuck, Alli! Why did you invite him in?”
“What was I supposed to do?” she yells.
“Anything!” I throw my hands up in the air. “Fuck, Alli. Anything! Anything, but invite him into your room.” I shake my head in defeat.
“I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t expecting him, Shane!” She lowers her head. “I didn’t know what to do,” she whispers.
I reach for my keycard and slide it into the slot. Without looking back, I say, “Go to him.” I twist the handle on the door that was supposed to lead both Alli and I in together. “Just fucking go to him. I’m done.” I lie. I won’t give up on her. I just . . . I just need time. The problem is, she needs to figure it out too. The thought alone makes me want to drink.
After changing into dry clothes, I raid the mini refrigerator. I’m still too sober to be sitting in this empty room doing nothing but staring at the damn adjoining door.
After grabbing my wallet and key, I make my way down to the hotel bar. There are only a few people there, which disappoints me. I was hoping for a little distraction, some noise. Something to drown out the thoughts in my head.
“What’ll it be, buddy?” the same bartender from last night asks.
“Beer, please. Whatever you have on tap is fine.”
“How about a Dos Equis?”
Shit. “Anything, but that.” I look around the bar. “Hell, just give me a shot of whiskey and keep ‘em coming.”
“She ditch you again, man?”
“What?” Why is everyone pissing me off tonight?
“That hot chick from last night.”
I look at him in disbelief.
“The one who ordered the sandwich to go.”
Fuck. “Yeah, something like that. Just get me that shot.”
“Comin’ up,” he says.
I’m on my fifth shot when I hear a familiar voice. “Hey, sugar.”
Only it’s not the voice I was hoping to hear. It’s the same blonde from last night that Alli caught talking to me. Alli made it clear she was jealous, and I have to admit, it felt good.
“Hey,” I respond, patting the seat next to me. “You here to fuck with me, too?”
She takes a seat. “Not unless you want me to.” Her sultry voice calms me just a little.
I tilt my head and swivel it to the side, just enough to catch a glimpse of her. She is beautiful. “What would you like to drink?” If Alli can have fun, then so can I.
“I’ll take whatever it is you’re drinking.”
Since I already have three shot glasses in front of me, I slide one over to her.
“Thanks, hun.”
I down one more shot, then raise the remaining glass and hold it out to . . . what’s her name again? I scrunch my eyebrows as I wrack my brain for her name.
“Candi”—she raises her glass to mine—“my name is Candi.”
“Yes. Candi. I knew that.”
“So what are we cheering to?” she asks.
“Hmm, well, how about we cheer to fucked up wishes.”
She raises her eyebrows.
“And fucked up airports,” I add.
“Airports,” she says deadpan.
“Airports and wishes,” I slur. “And hot tubs. Yeah, hot tubs.”
“Whatever floats your boat, honey.”
We both down our shots, and I raise my hand for another round. Sam, the bartender, quickly obliges with two more rounds.
“Keep ‘em comin’, Sam,” I say.
“So, where’s that girl you left me for last night?”
Why did Candi have to go there? I almost forgot about Alli. Okay, well maybe not, but I’m getting bound to forget this whole night if I keep drinking like this. “She’s with another guy.”