by Lisa Sommers
“Oh.” Candi pauses for a moment, then continues, “Well, I’m here for you.” She runs her fake pink nails up my arm.
If I have at least two more shots, maybe her voice and her touch will stop repulsing me. Nothing against her, she’s just not Alli.
“Yeah, you are.” I acknowledge her comment, but refuse to look at her.
“Sam, bring me a cosmo, please.”
Great, I guess that means she’s sticking around.
“Tell me, Mister Ace Pitcher, why is it that you want a girl that doesn’t want you?”
Fuck you! I want to say, but I remain quiet for fear of being kicked out of this hotel. And I refuse to leave until I get Alli back.
“I mean . . . you can have any girl you want, so why settle?”
“Sam, quicker.” He better hurry the fuck up so I can just pass out and not listen to any more of this bullshit.
Candi takes a few steps away and I think, Finally, some peace and quiet. When all of a sudden, I feel her rubbing small circles on my upper back and shoulders. I lean my head back in both exhaustion and defeat. I shiver from her touch, and not in a good way. She just needs to step the fuck away. I’ll just finish this last shot and head back to my room to pass out. Maybe I’ll knock on Alli’s door and throw coach out myself.
Chapter 17
Alli
I finally owned up to my feelings for Shane, so I’m taking this opportunity to tell Cal that whatever it was between us is over. We’re not dating. We’re not sleeping together. Yet we hang out constantly. I know he wants more from me, but I’ve been unable to give him what he needs. I told him that, even though he is a great guy, I’m just not ready to take things further with him. To my surprise, Cal is okay with it. He mentions he was nowhere near wanting to be in a committed relationship. You would think that with everything I went through with Jack that I would feel betrayed. But I don’t. I’m relieved.
Now I just need to make things right with Shane. I know it hurt him that I invited Cal into my room, but what was I supposed to do? He drove two hours to see me. It’s not like I’m going to sleep with him, especially after what just went down with Shane.
I’ve been knocking on the adjoining door off and on for the past few minutes, but there is no answer. I bet he went down to the bar for a drink. I grab my things and make my way down, but not before making one final knock on Shane’s door from the hallway. Still no answer.
I am just about to enter the hotel bar when I see Shane sitting on a barstool. Only he is not alone. He’s with that same blonde floosy from last night. She has her hands are all over him. Just when I think he might need saving from the two-bit tramp, I see him lean his head back as if he is enjoying her touch.
Fucking rat bastard. What gives him the right to get mad at me for talking to Cal, when he goes and starts flirting with . . . with her? With anyone!
I turn on my heel, return to my room, and make sure both doors that lead to Shane remain locked tight. Thank God I didn’t take things further with him. I knew this was going to happen. It was my fear from day one. Every guy that I’ve ever been involved with seems to want more. I just wish it was from me.
I am just about to fall asleep, due to the amount of mini bottles of alcohol I’ve consumed, when I hear the slam of a door. Shane must just now be returning with that slut. I hear fumbling, a loud thud, and some cursing shortly after. Then silence. He and what’s-her-name must have fallen over one another in the midst of the vertical fuck monkey. I grip the pillow next to me and slam it over my head, trying to drown out the noise. However, his moaning and groaning is driving me effin’ crazy. I still can’t believe I was going to actually give myself over to him.
From this moment on, I vow to never let another guy get to me. Especially, Shane McCall.
As payback, I decide to make sex noises myself. “Ahh.” I moan extremely loud. Suddenly, it’s eerily quiet on the other side of that door. So I make another noise. “Yes, again!” I let out. I sit on the edge of my bed listening. Still nothing, so I make one last moan of pleasure before I give up and just try to get some rest. “Yes, that’s it! Touch me right there.”
“What the fuck?” Shane angrily hollers from the other side of the wall, making me nearly jump out of my skin. Then he starts pounding on the door as if he were fighting for his life. “Open this god damn door, Alli!”
“No. Go away! We’re busy,” I yell back.
“The fuck you are! Open this door right now or else.”
“Or else what?”
“So help me god, Alli. You better open this door right now.”
Then, without thinking my plan out, Shane asks for Cal.
“Coach, I need to see you. Right now. This can’t wait,” he says.
Crap. What do I do now? “He can’t come to the door, Shane.”
“Why? Do you have him bound and gagged?” The sound of his voice strains with pain.
“Yes! Now go away.”
“Alli, don’t make me break this door down.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“The fuck I won’t,” he yells.
“Shane, go back to that woman. Just leave me alone.”
“What? What woman?” he asks.
Does he not have her in the room with him? Come to think of it, his voice is the only one I’ve been hearing. “That one from the bar that had her hands all over you.”
“Alli . . . did you come down to the bar earlier?”
“Yes, you son of a bitch. Now leave me alone.”
“Alli, is Cal in there with you?” he asks.
I remain quiet, because I really don’t know what to say.
“You’re alone, aren’t you?”
“No.”
“Alli, open the door.”
“Go away.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Whatever you saw down there in the bar isn’t what you think. Now open this door.” He’s growing more and more impatient as each minute goes by.
“You’re drunk, Shane. Just go away.”
“Sweetheart, I’ve been drunk since the day I met you. I have been all twisted up inside since that night, and trust me that when I say I love you it comes from a part of me that has never hurt more. Why? Because I don’t have you. It fucking hurts like hell to see you in the arms of another man. This is beyond anything that I am capable of. This is beyond anything I have ever wanted, until you. Baby, I see your face wherever I go. I think about you day and night. Hell, when I saw you on that kiss-cam that afternoon, I knew it was fate. And I don’t even believe in that shit. But what were the odds? I mean, I thought I’d lost you. That night I went out and got another ta . . .” He stops abruptly.
He got another what? He loves me? I don’t know what to think anymore. How did I get myself into this situation? I came to California to escape all this drama, and here I am, creating another shitty situation where I fall for a guy and I have no clue if he is telling me the truth or not. I can’t do this.
Chapter 18
Shane
I’m not giving up on her. Coach can trade me for all I care.
“I don’t believe you.” Her voice is much closer than it was before. She must be close to the door. She’s so close, yet so far away. I just want to touch her. Hold her.
“I’ve never lied to you, Alli. I never . . .” I can’t even finish this sentence without thinking of the moment I first laid eyes on her. I can hear her sniffle, and it breaks my heart.
“You’re lying right now, aren’t you? Why did you stop?”
Shit. “Alli . . . I didn’t have a layover in Dallas.” She will probably never speak to me again after my admission.
“I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”
“Okay. Just hear me out. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that there was something between us,” I tell her. How do I explain this without her thinking I am some sort of stalker?
“You’re not making any sense, Shane. You were there with me. I didn’t just dream you up.”
> “Honey, when the pilot announced the layover and I saw how frustrated you were over it, I changed my plans. I was supposed to catch a connecting flight to Los Angeles.”
I can hear something on the other side of the thin walls. It’s as if she’s sliding down the length of the door.
“Why would you do that?” she cries.
“Trust me. It was the craziest thing I’d ever done. Somehow, I just knew. I knew I had to get to know you. Then after . . .”
“After what? I had sex with you?” she yells. It’s clear that she’s struggling with the decision she made that night.
“Alli, please,” I whisper. “I haven’t been able to get you out my mind since that night. Trust me, please,” I beg.
“Give me one good reason why I should trust you.”
“If you open this door, I’ll show you,” I tell her.
She’s quiet again, and I’m not sure what to think about that.
I hear the door unlock, and it makes me jolt to a standing position. I slowly twist the doorknob until it cracks open. I don’t open further, for fear of scaring her off. That’s the last thing I want to do. I push it open just a little further, until I see her curled up on the floor at the foot of the bed.
“Baby,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.” I quickly glance around the room. I was right. There’s no sign of Cal anywhere. She made all that up just because she thought I was with another woman. That would never happen. Not since I met her.
I bend down, pick up her shaking body, and carry her to her bed. Her eyes remain closed, but the amount of tears running from them doesn’t go unnoticed. I shake my head from the pain I’ve put her through.
“I don’t know what to do,” she whimpers.
“About what? Us?”
She nods her head. “I can’t go through this again. It hurts too much.”
“Then don’t fight me. Just let this happen. Baby, I won’t hurt you.”
She hesitantly opens hers eyes, but she doesn’t move or say a word. Her sweet head rests against the fluffy white pillow, and I reach out to touch her pink cheeks with my fingers. Even in this moment, I have never seen anyone more beautiful.
“I won’t hurt you,” I mouth.
She remains quiet, and I wish more than anything I could climb into her head and read her thoughts. I guess now would be the time to show her exactly how much she means to me.
Sitting on the edge of her bed, I raise my arms over my shoulders and pull my t-shirt off. After tossing it onto the floor, I turn toward Alli so that she can see the tattoo I got the night I found her.
The look on her face is priceless, and I don’t think I could have surprised her more if I had chickens laying eggs in the other room. She closes her eyes, covers her mouth, and starts crying. She is shaking so bad that it conjures tears in me. “Please don’t cry, baby.”
“Why did you do that?” she cries.
“The wishbone?” I ask.
“Yes, why?”
“That day, when I found you on the kiss-cam, then later that night at the after party . . .”
She cuts me off. “I didn’t see you at the after party.”
I shake my head. “No, you didn’t. I hung out in the corner for a little while until you left . . . with Cal.”
“But . . .”
“I left shortly after you. That’s when I got this tattoo.” I point to the wishbone.
“Why?”
“Because that night at the airport I made a wish.”
“You did? But I thought you said it was a stupid idea.”
“I thought it was, at the time, yes. Regardless, I still made a wish. I wished that I’d never have to miss one of your beautiful smiles for as long as I live.” I laugh at the thought. Closing my eyes, I turn my gaze away from her before continuing, “But then I thought you were gone forever. I was so distraught, Alli. Then, all of a sudden, there you were. Back in my life.”
“But you didn’t win the wish that night,” she says.
I place the palms of my hands on either side of her head on the bed, then hover over her, staring directly into her eyes. “What did you wish for, Alli?”
“Happiness. I wished to be happy.”
Bending down, I whisper in her ear, “Do you think I can make you happy?”
I pull back, and she glances down at the tattoo of the wishbone. She nods her head and says, “Yes.”
“Then I won.”
Alli starts crying again, and I can’t help but wonder if they are happy tears or sad tears. I professed my love for her and she has yet to respond to that. She doesn’t have to tell me she loves me; I have every confidence in the world that I can make that happen over time.
“Will you stay with me tonight?” she asks.
I have to laugh at her question. “Nothing would make me happier.”
She slides over to the middle of the bed, sits up, and slowly lifts her shirt over her head.
Fuck me. She’s gorgeous. She reaches around to undo her bra, and I have to stop her. “Baby, I don’t think we should . . .” I pause, gathering my thoughts. “What I mean to say is, I don’t think now would be the best time . . .”
“You don’t want me? But, I thought . . .”
“Are you kidding me? Baby, I am barely hanging on here. I don’t think I can be easy on you. Do you have any idea how much I want you?”
“And do you think with time that feeling will ease up?”
“Fuck, no!”
“Then don’t be easy on me. I need you. Please.”
I search her face for confirmation.
Alli leans up and gently kisses the side of my mouth, making me groan.
Game on, baby.
I push her back and pin both of her hands above her head. She gasps, and I take her mouth with mine. Without removing my lips from hers, I twist until my body is lying flush against hers. As I slide my hands down the length of her arms, I inch my way down, kissing, nipping, and licking every inch or her. The sweet sounds she makes when I touch her drives me to continue. When I reach her toes, I slip her jeans and panties off at the same time. Then I work my way back up until my lips plaster against hers again.
I pull back and kiss my way down her jawbone, to her ear, and I whisper the words, “I’m sorry, I lied. I said I wouldn’t be able to hold back and be gentle. I don’t want to stop, and there is no chance in hell I am going to stop touching every part of you.”
“Then don’t. Don’t stop.” Alli arches her back and moans in pleasure. “Don’t stop.”
“Never,” I whisper against her flesh. I flip her over and trail my way around the back of her body. “Fuck, you are so beautiful.” I lick at the dip of her lower back. Sitting back on my heels, I take a second to soak her in. She starts writhing around impatiently, so I pull her up by the waist, her sweet ass displayed in front of me. Leaning over her, I lick my way up her back and nip at her delicate skin every few inches. I wrap one arm around her waist until my hand reaches her naval, then slowly slide my fingertips to her sweet spot. I stop just above her pubic bone, teasing her.
Alli moans, and I’m not sure what drives me more crazy. That fact that I can make her create those sounds, or that fact that teasing her turns me on even more.
I pull back slightly and she whimpers, making me chuckle. I let my fingers travel down again, and this time I don’t stop.
Alli gasps at the contact.
“Do you like that, baby?”
She nods her head into the pillow, moaning. Which only makes me harder. I’m not sure I can wait any longer.
While I’m teasing my way to her entrance, Alli suddenly leans up, until her back is flush against my chest. We are both on our knees now. I let my other hand roam around to her breast, and pull her tight against me.
I slip my hand further down and dip two fingers into her. “Fuck, baby. You’re so wet.” I growl against her neck.
I really hate to ruin this moment, but there is something I need to know. And I pray to God that she says no. Closing
my eyes tight, I ask her. “Alli?”
“Hmm.”
I shake my head just thinking about it. It shouldn’t bother me, but I need to know. “Did you and Cal ever . . .”
“No,” is all she says, and my heart finally starts beating again.
With her breath growing ragged, she manages to tell me, “Nobody, since you.” And I think I just fell in love with her all over again. “I need you, Shane.”
I grip her hair and pull back far enough for me to kiss her neck. Alli pushes her ass against me in pleasure. Wanting more. Wanting me.
I have no desire to make her wait any longer. I need her just as much.
I reluctantly release Alli so that I can stand to remove my own pants. She follows me and stands next to me, then leans up to kiss my wishbone tattoo. “I love you, too,” she says, lips pressed against my chest.
I grip her shoulders and push her back so that I can look into her eyes. I search deep down into the depths of her soul to see if I heard her correctly. There is no way I can be lucky enough to have her love me.
“You do?” I mouth the words.
She nods her head and smiles the sexiest grin I have ever seen. “God, you’re so beautiful.”
“So you’ve said,” she whispers.
“And I’ll say it over and over again for the rest of my life.”
“I guess we both win that wish, then,” she says.
“I’d say so. I love you, Alli.”
“Will you make love to me?”
“You can’t stop me.”
Alli reaches out, entwines her fingers with mine, and pulls my arms so that they encircle her waist. “Don’t ever let me go.”
“Never.” I lower myself to sit on the edge of her bed and tug her to me. I scoot back far enough, and Alli climbs on, wrapping her legs around my waist. “I’ll never let you go.”
Alli pushes me back so that I am flat on my back. Straddling me, she bends down and takes my nipple ring into her mouth. She sucks hard enough to make me grind my teeth in pleasure and hiss her name. “Baby, I don’t think I can take it any longer.”