First of all, I was still pissed about him neglecting to tell me he was seeing someone. Fucker. Second, even if she hadn’t existed, I didn’t know if Levi would believe it was truly him I was seeing and having feelings for. Especially if I told him now that I was pregnant and jobless. The last thing I wanted was to have him think I was only contacting him because it was convenient and I needed him to bail me out.
“Earth to Poppy! Earth to Poppy!” Obviously I had spaced out. Shaking the cobwebs free in my head, I huffed out a breath.
“Sorry. My brain has been a hot mess lately.” It was the truth. I couldn’t tell you if I was coming or going most of the time.
“I figured. You doing okay, babe?” Her voice had lost the bubbly playfulness of earlier and she asked softly. Wishing she was with me, because I knew she would have pulled me into a big hug, I slumped against the wall. But if she’d been with me, I would have been bawling my eyes out. As it was, tears welled up before I rapidly blinked them away.
“I’m good. No, that’s a lie. I’m hanging in there. And you know what? Yeah, it would be great to get out of here for the night. But I need a favor. I need you to get ready here so you can help me find something to wear that doesn’t make me look like I shop at Tent & Awning. I’m not even that big yet and I feel like I’m a house. What the hell am I going to do when I’m eight or nine months along?”
Her squeal had begun as soon I said I would go, but ended when I finished talking.
“Okay, it’s a deal. Is it possible for you to pick me up after work tonight, and I’ll just stay at your place? And don’t you worry, we’re gonna make sure you’re the sexiest preggo anyone’s ever seen. Some guys love pregnant chicks; maybe we’ll even find you a new baby daddy tomorrow night.”
Water spewed from my mouth and nose across my kitchen floor.
“Jesus, Trina.” I hacked and gagged, trying to clear my impromptu nasal wash. “Yeah, I’ll pick you up, but that’s just—ewww. No guy likes pregnant chicks that aren’t their pregnant chick. I just don’t want to go out looking like a sofa. The last thing I need in my life right now is a guy.” Unless it was one certain dark-haired, blue-eyed rock star. Shit, I was so wrong for thinking that way. Just… wrong.
“Lions”—Skillet
“Ooo, girl, you look hot! Who says pregnant women aren’t sexy?” Trina motioned for me to spin around to show her the full view.
True to her word, Trina had me looking pretty hot for a pregnant chick. Not that you could hide or even camouflage my big, fat baby bump, so she just embraced it. Literally. Thankfully, I had a really cute black bandage dress that was super stretchy. Stretchy enough that it easily fit over my belly, and the criss-crossed pieces across the front wrapped beautifully around my belly. It sounds weird, maybe, but it looked surprisingly good. Then again, I had been pretty religious about maintaining my running routine during my pregnancy. I’d only missed a few days thanks to morning sickness. So though my belly was big, my body was still very fit.
We’d topped it off with my black Tom Ford padlock pumps. Hey, I may have been pregnant, but I could still pull off my heels. The tinkling clink of the padlock and key as I moved was oddly satisfying. My dark brown hair was straightened and silky, swishing with each step.
“What? You need to see my belly from every angle?” I joked, but I appeased her and spun. Like a small child, she clapped her hands and jumped up from where she was strapping her heels on. Hugging me, she spoke in my ear.
“Poppy, you’re beautiful and you’re going to have every man eating out of your hand tonight.”
A small, fake smile was the only answer I gave her. Because I couldn’t tell her I didn’t want any man’s attention. I didn’t want a new baby daddy. I didn’t want anyone but the one man I couldn’t have.
After I put on my silver hoops and thin white-gold chain with a single diamond pendant, I stood there gazing at the item sitting in the top drawer of my jewelry box. Absently, I watched as my index finger repeatedly glided around the circle of the wedding set my mother had worn for years. Before I could change my mind, I slipped it on my ring finger. I needed to feel close to my dad—Sam. Hopefully it would also be my shield against guys hitting on me, ’cause I really wasn’t in the mood.
“Okay, I’m ready. But you still haven’t said where we’re going.” I transferred my phone, my wallet, and a tube of pink lipstick over to my small black purse with the gold chain strap. When she still hadn’t answered me, I looked up from digging through my usual giant tote for my keys.
Nose scrunched and bottom lip held in her teeth, she looked guilty. “Umm, yeah. So, about that. I figured we’d go to the Flying High?” The last sentence comes out like a question and I freeze in the midst of my key search. Raising my brows at her, I shake my head and drop my purse on the table.
“No. Uh-uh. Not going.”
“Oh, come on, Poppy. Please? John’s not going to be there.” She had the nerve to bat her eyelashes—see, I told you she did that shit—and fold her hands in prayer. It was Saturday night. The best bands played on Saturday and he was often there.
“It’s Saturday. Besides, why would you want to go to the place you work when it’s your ‘first Saturday off in forever?’” Yeah, I made the air quotes and strung out the word “forever” just like she had the day before.
“I know he’s not going to be there for the same reason I know there’s a great band tonight. I overheard him telling someone that he had a really amazing band playing Saturday night and he was sorry he would miss it because he had a big business dinner.” The smug look on her face had me rolling my eyes and shaking my head.
“Fine. Okay, let’s go then. I’ll probably have to pee before we get there if we don’t hurry.” Her laughter wasn’t appreciated. The things I did for her.
The drive to the bar was filled with Trina’s nonstop chatter, Peanut using my bladder as a trampoline, and Three Days Grace playing in the background. It was a feat to remember I wasn’t allowed to park in the employee parking when I pulled into the lot. So I spent at least twenty minutes driving around until we saw a family of five loading into their SUV, their red cheeks evidence of their long day on the beach and boardwalk. Quickly, I put my blinker on to show all the other parking vultures I had claimed this spot and they better back off.
Getting out of the car was becoming more and more difficult and I seriously questioned my decision to buy a car so low to the ground. Of course, I hadn’t been planning on having children anytime soon when I bought it. Hand on my belly, I stood by the open door, panting. The Cirque du Soleil-worthy contortions had become necessary to get out of the driver seat. The exertion of it was getting ridiculous.
Chortling laughter earned Trina a look that could peel paint off a wall. “The fuck you laughing at?” It was a rhetorical question, and we both knew it. When she pressed her lips flat, I could still see the laughter in her eyes. So I narrowed mine, pointed my purse at her, and told her, “You better watch your shit or you’ll be Ubering it back to your place.”
Little shit snapped a salute at me, and I was about ready to pop her in the nose, best friend or not.
The salty air blew my hair around my shoulders and across my face as we climbed the stairs to the boardwalk. There were several other bars along the walk and a few had live bands playing or karaoke going on. We could hear bits and pieces of each as we walked.
My awkward emergence from my car forgotten, we looked at each other and laughed as we heard someone belting out a horrific rendition of a Miranda Lambert song. Times like this, I was reminded how long we’d been friends and how much I loved her crazy ass. It was hard to stay mad at her for long, even in my hormonal state. With a grin, I looped my arm through hers.
“Not mad at me anymore?”
“Nah, but I’ll be sure to return the favor when you’re pregnant for the first time.” Her expression was priceless. Like I had unicorns flying out of my ears or something.
“Don’t you dare put that on me, woman
.”
I laughed, and with it came a release of the tension that had been plaguing me for weeks. At least for the moment, my shoulders felt lighter.
Promising myself to have a great time tonight, I led the way to the Flying High, where it sounded like the band had already started. Seether’s “Out of My Way” had me moving with the music as we walked in down by the bar.
The dance floor was packed, which wasn’t difficult considering it wasn’t overly large to begin with, so we decided to get drinks from the bar first. Squeezing our way up to the corner of the crowded bar, Trina flagged down Manny, whose ginger hair was a mess and his fair skin flushed. The place was busy as hell. Manny smiled as he handed me a water with lemon and Trina a pink frozen drink.
“Hey, Poppy. Sure miss having you around. When are you coming back?” Obviously John hadn’t told everyone I quit permanently. Flashing him a tight smile, I just shrugged and waved as I turned away from the bar. It was still so hard seeing Manny behind the bar without Lucas.
As I glanced around the bar, I couldn’t help but being impressed by the band. They were really good. Not that I was surprised, after all, this was what we—uh, the bar and John were known for. The crowd was so large, it spilled out onto the beach, where people were dancing and moving to the music.
Lights flashed as the bass guitar and drums grabbed my heart, leading its beat. The singer’s raspy, growly voice was sexy as hell, and slightly familiar. When they started singing “Silence Reigns” by Otherwise, I was amazed at how the lead vocalist sounded exactly like Adrian Patrick. Damn, I’m telling you, they were really good. I recognized them from somewhere.
Must be a local band I’ve already heard.
Before I knew it, that voice was reeling me in, pulling me with a magnetic draw. Mesmerized, I let my feet carry me closer to the stage. Trina’s fingers locked around my arm as she trailed behind me, trying not to get separated or spill her drink.
Watching where I was walking so I didn’t step on anyone’s feet or a spilled drink, I continued to weave closer. Finally, we broke through the crowd toward the front, where only a few people stood between us and the stage.
Trina’s voice was accompanied by her breath across my ear as she spoke. “They’re amazing! And they look hot as hell!”
“I can’t really see them!” I shouted back. “The jolly green giant convention is in front of me!” Trina scooted over and dragged me along with her until the freaking professional football team was off to our side.
We watched as the lead singer and the guitarist worked the crowd on the opposite side of the stage. The drummer was swallowed up in the back by his massive drum kit, but I could see dark hair and beautifully sculpted arms moving at an insane pace as he pounded out a rocking rhythm. The bass player was up on the step at the edge of the raised drum stand as he and the drummer drove the pace of the song, wrapping my heartbeat up tight with its pulse. The lights flashing and his head reverently tipped down to his skilled hands made it difficult to see if he was a possibility for Trina tonight. Because I knew she was hoping to snag one of these up-and-coming stars.
With a wavering, drawn-out note, the guitarist wrapped up the rapid shred he’d been owning. The lead singer spun to return to the center of the stage, but not before touching the reaching hands of the women who had pressed themselves against the stage. As he moved in my direction, my heart stuttered and froze.
What the hell? How is he here?
No wonder the band sounded familiar. It was suddenly stifling in the bar despite the open walls to the outdoors, and I couldn’t breathe. Glued to the floor, I could only stare as they moved on to the next song. Holy hell, how did I not recognize Aiden up there? It was impossible to miss the band’s lead guitarist. He was huge and tatted up. He’d obviously added new ink since I’d met him in Seattle. He now boasted tattoos from his chest to his fingers.
Returning my gaze to Levi, I focused on him as he worked the crowd and belted out the best cover I’d ever heard of Papa Roach’s “Broken as Me.” Gasps were all I could manage for breaths, and I was starting to feel light-headed.
Before I could turn away or blend into the crowd, his eyes found me out of all the people on the dance floor. As a testament to his professionalism and charismatic stage presence, the only sign he’d seen me was a slight widening of those bright blue eyes.
As he finished the song, though, his gaze remained locked with mine. Then he smiled and thanked the fans before turning and conversing with his bandmates. The first few notes Aiden played told me the song right away. Levi embraced the mic and began to sing Three Days Grace’s “Never Too Late.” Anytime he opened his eyes, he met mine and held me spellbound.
Their next song was Skillet’s “Whispers In The Dark.” Still, he watched me, his icy eyes holding me captive. He looked gorgeous. His previously military-short hair was longer on top and stuck up all over. It was a sexy, just-been-fucked look on him. The tight black T-shirt stretched over his muscles in a way that left me aching. Aching in so many ways, but the worst was my fingers; they itched to touch those abs I remembered so damn well. Ripped jeans with his muscular thighs peeking through had my private areas clenching with need.
Oh God. Please, not here. Damn hormones.
It wasn’t long before people were noticing he kept looking at me, and they were glancing back and forth between us. When he started singing “Anna” by Stone Sour, the few people in front of me and Trina stepped to the side. Little by little, we were gently nudged to the front. Trina was oblivious, swaying to the music with her eyes closed, sipping her drink every so often.
When the chorus came around, his talented voice belted it out. Standing front and center of the stage, his eyes opened after singing with so much emotion, he’d closed them. It was then he realized I was right at his feet and he finally saw me. By that, I mean all of me.
Arctic blue eyes flared as he stared at my protruding belly. Though he tried to hide it, the confusion that flashed in his gaze didn’t escape me. Tears pooled in my eyes, and I raised my free hand to cover my mouth.
This wasn’t how I’d wanted him to find out. I’d planned to call him, dammit. Before I could turn to leave, he stared directly at my hand over my mouth. Anger briefly flashed across his handsome face, and his nostrils flared. For a few seconds it was as if we were the only ones there.
The sounds of the crowd began to seep through my haze as he finished the song. Panicking in the face of his anger, I spun on my heels, pushing toward the exit. There were too many people and I couldn’t breathe—I couldn’t think. Nothing registered in my brain but escape. Vaguely, I could hear my name being called, but I kept surging forward. Seeing one of the waitresses passing, I set my glass on her tray and kept moving forward.
When a warm, calloused hand wrapped around my bicep just as I reached an opening to the outside, I gave a startled squeak and turned to look over my shoulder. Not that I was overly surprised it was him, but God, I wasn’t ready.
“Poppy. Stop! Please!” The imploring words and the look on his face were enough to make me stop. We’d reached the boardwalk just outside the bar.
“Levi, I… I need a minute. Jesus, not here. Can I meet you tomorrow?” This was why I had procrastinated telling him. There simply weren’t appropriate words to explain everything to him. I needed to clear my head to get shit straight in my mind.
“No. Goddammit, Poppy. You fucking leave me without a word, cut me off, and tell me not to contact you again. Then I see you here—married and pregnant? Are you fucking shitting me? You didn’t waste any time replacing him or me, did you?” My heart knew who the “him” was and a painful stab ripped through me. The angry, hateful tone of his words shredded through my soul. Then the rest of what he’d said sunk in.
“What? No! Are you crazy? I’m not married! Why the hell would you even say that?” Had he gone certifiably insane?
His hand grasped my left hand tightly and he raised it to my line of vision. The light from the lamp posts caugh
t the large diamond and it glittered.
“Oh shit.” It was a jagged whisper.
“Yeah, ‘oh shit.’” Snide, his tone hurt as bad as his earlier words had.
Jerking my hand free of his hold, I covered my face. Pressing my fingertips into my eyelids, I waited until I had control of my emotions. Then I dropped my hands and looked at him with sorrow pulling at my face.
Flashing the diamond wedding set on my hand at him, I met his angry gaze with my own. “This? This was my mom’s from my dad. I wore it tonight to feel closer to my dad, and to keep from getting hit on,” I snarled.
Biting my bottom lip until I tasted the tang of my own blood, I inhaled a huge breath to calm myself. Then I gathered my courage. “This?” I pointed at my ever-growing tummy. “This is… shit… it’s yours.” By the end of the sentence, my voice has lost much of its resolve and it faded away.
If the circumstances had been different in any way, his expression would have been comical. Except the situation sucked so bad, I felt awful and nausea roiled in my stomach.
Trina had finally caught up and stepped up behind Levi.
“Poppy? You okay, hon?” Levi turned slightly, and I saw her mouth fall open as she realized who he was. “Oh shit.”
“Jesus, is that all you people know how to say down here? Who are you?” His voice was hard as flint. Those crystalline eyes bore into my friend as she stood there like a deer in the headlights.
“Trina.” Recovering better than I had, she held out her hand to shake his. Like a true gentleman, he shook her hand with a brief, small smile. What I wouldn’t have given for that smile to be for me. “I’m Poppy’s best friend. You have got to be Levi. I’ve heard so much about you.” Ugh, I could choke her. If looks could kill, mine would be withering her to a dried husk.
“You have? Interesting, because I haven’t heard a peep from her, about anything, in months.”
Trina flashed a bright grin at him. Despite how she usually caught men’s eyes immediately, he seemed completely oblivious to her blonde beauty. In fact, he stood looking at her with impatience, like he was waiting for her to leave.
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