22
Ryan
When I returned from my trip, it was late, but I was eager to see Jake. I thought I would have been more excited about a three game stretch away from home, and I was, but I thought about the kid a lot more than I’d anticipated.
Katie was asleep on the couch. She looked so innocent; soft, and fragile. Usually when I looked at her, I saw regret, anger, and sadness because of our circumstance. She’d left a plate of food on the kitchen counter. My unwrapping it woke her.
“Hey,” she said groggily.
“Hi.”
She sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Congratulations on the sweep.”
That surprised me. “What do you know about a sweep?”
“I heard the announcer say it.”
“Announcer? Those games weren’t televised.”
“I listened online.”
“Oh, well, thanks.”
“You want me to warm that up for you?” she asked. I’d taken a few bites of the cold pork chop. “No thanks.” I covered the plate back up and put it in the refrigerator. “I guess Jake’s asleep.”
“Yeah. I finished his room if you’d like to see it.”
Katie got up and led me down the hall. She flipped on the light and cracked Jake’s bedroom door open.
I smiled when I saw what she’d done. It was an amazing place for a kid. The walls were full of bright blues and greens, but sophisticated at the same time. His crib set had little frogs embroidered on it, along with his name.
“I didn’t want to have dump trucks or airplanes,” she whispered. “There’ll be time for that phase later.” Then it hit me that I had a kid who had a room in my house that would be going through decorating phases as he grew.
Katie sat in a chair across the room. It rocked. “Isn’t this the greatest chair?” she asked quietly.
It looked like a club chair, and she was right, it was pretty great. “I’ll love feeding him here, and when he gets older I can read to him.” She cut her eyes to me. “I didn’t mean... here… I was... talking about the chair…”
“I know,” I soothed. It was hard not to get caught up in daydreaming about Jacob’s future. I’d already thought about what it would be like to teach him to play ball. To buy him his first glove and show him how to find the right bat.
I hadn’t thought about Katie being around for any of those things. I’d always pictured Annie with me. As much as I didn’t want to, I would have to adjust my fantasies to accommodate her, as well.
23
Justin
Alex came in laughing and shaking his head.
“Hey, let me call you back, Alex is here.” I hung up the phone and smirked. “What is it?”
“Dude, I just know that one of these days I’m gonna walk in and see you lying on the couch all twisted up in a phone cord, smackin’ on a piece of bubble gum, paintin’ your nails and gigglin’ like the chick you’ve become. You’re always yakkin’ on the phone.”
“Psshht,” I breathed. “I was talking to Annie.”
“Yeah, you two are like two chicks in a pod or whatever.”
“I am not a chick and if you don’t stop saying that, I’m going to take your smart ass down to prove it.”
“Oh, you’re an angry chick today—or wait—what day of the month is it?” Alex cocked his head. “You got PMS, Bishop?”
“You really are a dick.”
Alex smiled as if he appreciated that I’d noticed.
“Since baseball has started, and you know this, I don’t have time for anything.”
“You mean, you don’t have time for anything that doesn’t involve talking to Annie,” he said. “Admit it; you’ve got it bad for her.” Alex grinned knowingly. “You have to have thought about gettin’ with her. You’ve known her most of your life. I just met her, and I’ve thought about what it’d be like a thousand times already.”
“I should have known that’s what you meant. I don’t know how you have time for anything else with all the whoring you do.”
“Ouch.”
“Like you’ve never been called a whore before.”
“I never said that, but it still hurts just the same.” Alex feigned being wounded as he strolled down the hallway to his room. As soon as he was out of sight, I called Annie back.
24
Annie
Pam told me to take the weekend off and go to Martin to see Justin. She promised she’d stay home. I could tell she was worried about me. Since Lindsay and Justin weren’t around, I didn’t have a single friend under the age of forty.
She was probably sick of me being around. I worked at her store and stayed at her house more than I stayed at my own. I imagined that she and Larry would welcome a weekend of privacy.
I showed up at Justin’s as he and Alex arrived home from their game.
“Hey, sexy girl.” Alex winked and pulled me into his arms. “I’ve got a date, but if I’d known you were comin’, I’d have cancelled.” I playfully pushed him away and shook my head.
“C’mon, you can’t tell me you’d pass on this if you were single.” He held his arms out and pointed to himself.
I laughed.
“Aw, that’s funny, huh?” He yanked his shirt over his head, revealing his etched chest, and flexed his muscles for me. “How funny is this?” It wasn’t funny at all. Alex was pretty hot. I knew he’d settle down for the right girl. If I didn’t have a boyfriend or self-control, I’d have gone out with him.
“Get lost, Winthrop,” Justin griped.
As Alex backed down the hallway to his room, he watched me. “Going once, going twice… I’m about to be gone, girl.”
I laughed. “Have fun tonight, Alex.”
“You’re missin’ out,” he warned, then slowly disappeared behind his bedroom door.
“Hi,” I said to Justin.
“Hi,” he repeated. “You hungry?”
“I could eat.”
He’d already showered and changed in the locker room. His messy hair was slightly damp and was now close to touching his shoulders.
“Let me grab a hat,” he said. I followed him to his bedroom.
“Did you decide to let your hair grow forever?” I asked.
“I decided not to worry about it. Why?”
“Just asking. I’ve never seen it that long.”
“I can’t cut it now that the season’s started. It might jinx me.”
I laughed.
“Do you know why so many guys have weird hair and beards during the World Series?”
“Superstition?”
“Exactly.”
As we walked to Justin’s truck, a guy approached us.
“Bishop—thought you were out of town.”
“We play at home this weekend.”
“You know I can’t keep track. Who’s this?” the guy asked, staring at me.
“She’s taken.” Justin grabbed my left hand and held it up.
“Damn girl,” he said. “I’d say she’s extremely taken,” he told Justin. “So what are you doing with her?”
“This is Annie.”
“Oh.” The guy’s eyes widened, looking me up and down. “How are you just friends with her?” he asked out of the side of his mouth. Justin ignored the question. “Annie this is Reggie. He lives in the building behind me.”
“It’s so very nice to meet you,” Reggie sang, smiling widely. I felt like there was a joke I was missing. “We all thought Justin was wacked when he said his best friend was a girl.” Reggie looked at Justin. “But wacked my friend, you are not.”
Reggie’s eyes rested on me again. “How long are you here?”
“Until Sunday morning.”
“Good. The two of you can come over for poker tonight.”
“Uh, I kinda suck at poker,” I admitted.
Reggie laughed. “Good. It’ll make it that much easier for me to take your money.” He slapped hands with Justin. “Make sure you have plenty of singles and bring some luck with you. You’ll need it,”
he chuckled, before walking past us.
“The last time I played with him, he took everybody’s money and some guy’s shoes.”
I laughed. “He bet his shoes?”
“It was all he had left, I guess.”
“Sounds rowdy.”
“It’s fun. We should go if you want to.”
“Why not?” I shrugged.
After dinner, Justin and I went to Reggie’s dorm. When we walked in, Reggie dragged me away from Justin and pulled out a chair for me at the table.
“Annie, this is Shane and Paige, Kim and Eric, Aaron, Jay, and Chase and Olivia.”
We all waved and said hi. As Reggie sat down, he said, “Oh, and y’all already know The Bishop.”
I laughed. “The Bishop?”
“Yeah, The Bishop.”
I laughed again. Justin shook his head.
“I don’t care what you call him, he’s just plain old hot in my book,” Olivia sang.
My eyes widened. “You said you weren’t seeing anyone,” I scolded Justin.
Chase held up his hand. “She’s my girlfriend. She believes in that brutal honesty thing,” he complained.
“What do you want to know about The Bishop? I got all the dirt,” Reggie nodded and shuffled the deck of cards. “Just let me know.”
“Let’s just play, okay,” Justin chided. Reggie winked at me. “Anything you want to know,” he repeated.
I knew there were plenty of things that I didn’t know about Justin. As much as he shared with me, I felt there was an equal amount of information that he kept from me, but knew there was a reason for it, so I didn’t ask Reggie any questions.
“I can’t believe your boyfriend is letting you stay with The Bishop all weekend.” Reggie nodded toward Justin. Before I could say anything, he noticed that I wasn’t wearing my ring.
“Hey, wait — where’s your ring?”
“It’s in my pocket. I heard about you taking that guy’s shoes last time.” Everybody laughed.
“Yeah, well that ring would be a sweet prize. I could probably buy a house with that sucker.”
I loved my ring, but the way people talked about it was embarrassing sometimes.
“Damn, a house?” Shane asked. “Don’t let Paige see it, she’ll want one.”
“I hate to break it to you, man, but she already does,” Jay announced.
“You’re lucky that I can’t reach you,” Paige threatened.
“Deal the cards,” Aaron stated.
We played the last hand three hours after the game began. I’d only lost thirty bucks—all of it to Reggie, and like everyone else, I was borderline drunk.
“It’s safe for you to put my house back on your finger now.” Reggie smiled at me.
“Look away,” Shane announced, and tried to cover Paige’s eyes. She pushed him away.
“What the hell does your boyfriend do?” Kim asked.
“He’s in college—” “He has a trust fund,” Justin interrupted.
“Your family has money, too.”
“My family doesn’t have the kind of money his family has.”
“What does it matter? I don’t care about his money.”
“I know, he’s all that matters, right?”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” Justin muttered.
“How many carats is it?” Paige asked, staring googly-eyed at my ring.
“Five,” Justin and I answered at the same time, except his tone was incensed. I turned and glared at him. “What’s wrong with you?”
Justin put his tongue in his cheek and shook his head.
“No, seriously. You seem bothered. What is it?”
He smirked. “Everywhere we go that damn thing is in everybody’s face. It not only could be traded for a house. It is a house. You might as well be wearing a five bedroom, six bath ranch on your finger.”
I glared him. “Sorry, I didn’t realize that my ring was causing such a problem for you.”
“Well, it is. I mean, don’t you think it’s a little too big? Like maybe Ryan was overcompensating for something?” I felt the color leave my face. “You mean Jacob?” I asked softly.
“And her.”
“Are you saying that you think I’m okay with that situation because of this?” I held my hand up, flashing the ring.
“Maybe. I mean, damn Annie. The guy knocked up another girl, and that still didn’t turn you off.”
The room went completely silent.
“Hey Reggie,” I said, my eyes welling with tears. “I know what you can tell me about The Bishop. You can tell me what the hell he did with Justin because he would not have just called me a whore.”
“That can’t be what he meant,” Reggie said.
“That’s not what I said, but there must be a reason you interpreted it that way,” Justin said.
I was furious, and hurt that Justin had said such ugly things to me. About me.
I stood up. “Thank you for having me. It was nice meeting you all,” I said and quickly let myself out. I was almost to his building when I heard Justin’s voice behind me.
“I wasn’t calling you a whore. I didn’t mean it to sound that way. I just said I thought Ryan was overcompensating with that enormous ass ring,” he said, trailing behind me.
I spun around and looked at him, sticking my finger in his face. “Kinda like when you started screwing the porn star after dumping your girlfriend because she wanted to get married.”
“I didn’t dump Eve because she wanted to get married. I dumped her because she didn’t want me to see you anymore, remember?”
I started walking again. Justin ran in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders, stopping me.
“I dumped her because she told me to choose. I dumped her for you. I’d choose you over anything,” he mumbled, his hands moving from my shoulders, up my neck to my cheeks.
I closed my eyes, trying to keep from crying. Justin’s forehead rested against mine; his warm, liquor scented breath spread over my face a she spoke.
“I’m sorry for what I said, but I think you deserve better than him, Annie, and I’ll never apologize for that.”
My heart thrashed as we stood still, breathing each other’s breath, making the cool air around us warm and electric.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Justin sighed, tangling his fingers into my hair, giving me goose bumps.
“You won’t,” I murmured, and instinctively wrapped my arms around him.
“I will,” he said somberly. “As soon as he comes back to you.”
“You’ll always have me, Justin.”
“Not in the way that I want.” The words were barely audible. My skin grew hot; my heart beat in my throat, anticipating his answer. “How do you want me?” I asked.
Justin’s fingers tightened in my hair as if he were desperate to answer me, but couldn’t make himself do it. He leaned closer, until his mouth almost touched mine; then he let go of me and walked away.
25
Justin
The sound of Annie’s laughter woke me. I lifted my head to see her and Alex sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee.
“There he is,” Alex announced.
As soon as I laid eyes on Annie, I instantly recalled everything that happened last night. Every word I’d said. Every feeling I had. But pretended I didn’t, acting as if I’d been too drunk to remember.
I was still fully dressed, shoes and all, and had slept in a chair, instead of on the couch for some reason.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Who knows, bro? You weren’t even here when I let my guest in at one a.m.”
Annie laughed. “Guest?”
“Yeah, guest.” Alex grinned at her.
“Where were we?” I asked Annie, breaking up their conversation.
“We played cards at Reggie’s. We had an argument, and you left.”
“An argument?”
“We worked it out,” she said, her eyes darting around the room.
“Then I left you?”
“Yeah. I guess you were a little drunker than I thought.”
“I don’t remember. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t say anything too out of line.”
“No,” she lied, giving me a forced smile.
“What’s on the books for tonight after the game?” Alex asked, clapping his hands together.
I didn’t know what they’d be doing, but I’d be working to keep Annie from bringing up last night, and pretending that I didn’t almost tell her that I want her.
26
Ryan
I swung the front door open on my way out to get the paper from the driveway. A well-dressed, middle-aged woman stood in front of me, ready to ring the bell.
“Hi,” I said.
“Is Katherine here?” she asked, sounding bored.
“Mom?” Katie warily asked from behind me. “What are you doing here?”
“Your father asked me to check on you,” she said, sidestepping me and coming inside the house.
“If he wants to know how I’m doing, why didn’t he come?”
“Don’t be fresh, Katherine.” Lucinda’s tone matched the sharp glare in her eye. “You know your father is exceptionally busy.”
“He had time to arrange for me to be here.”
“You are the reason you’re here.” She glanced around the house but didn’t say anything. At least my mother could have coughed up a shallow compliment.
“I’m Ryan, Mrs. Hardwick,” I said.
“I know who you are,” she spit, and then looked at Katie. “Let me see the baby.”
Katie, holding Jacob, stepped closer to Lucinda, and began to hand him to her. She put her hands up, palms out, stopping her. “I can’t hold him. I have a luncheon today. I wouldn’t have time to change if he spat up on me.”
Katie’s face didn’t hide her disappointment. Lucinda looked at Jacob with plenty of space between them and without emotion.
“He looks like your father did when he was a baby,” she noted.
“He’s good natured. Valerie said Ryan was the same way.”
“That’s nice.” Lucinda took another couple steps back. “It was good to see you,” she said, not offering an embrace. She placed her purse under her arm and walked to the door.
Breathe (Sway Part 2) Page 6