Breathe (Sway Part 2)

by Davis, Jennifer

  “What was that? Can you repeat those words?” I asked gleefully.

  “No.”

  I laughed at her pensive expression.

  “Being on Ryan’s side, instead of playing against him is working for you. John says Ryan has become fond of your friendliness, and appreciative of your support.”

  “Even when it’s at your expense?” I asked.

  “Even then,” Valerie confirmed. I was sure she’d be mad at what I’d said to Ryan about her. “Mostly, Ryan is very taken with your lax stance on Annie.”

  “My stance isn’t lax. I’ve just asked him to talk about her. I figured that was the best way to get him to open up to me.”

  “And it’s working so well that I’ve decided to follow suit.”

  “Won’t that be, like, a huge red flag if you suddenly become supportive of his relationship with Annie?”

  “I’m not going to support his relationship with Annie, I’m going support him, and his decision to get along with you, and be a good dad to Jake.”

  “And?” I asked, certain that wasn’t all. Every good deed from Valerie was served up with a side of expectation, and a pinch of what’s in it for me.

  “And now, it’s your turn to push him.”

  “I don’t want to piss him off.” Ryan had been so good to me lately that I didn’t want to rock the boat. He was still slightly guarded. I was sure he didn’t want to get too close to me, but I was enjoying our talks. The fact that he’d been talking to John about me caused a flicker of hope that he might stop thinking of me as a mistake, and she wanted me to ruin it.

  “I went to see Annie today, to make sure she’s behaving,” Valerie said.

  “And?”

  “She is. That girl is so damn boring. I still don’t know what Ryan sees in her,” she grumbled. “Although, she did finally do something with that curly mop of hers.”

  “She cut her hair?” I asked.

  “Straightened it. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. Time is running out. You have to get aggressive.”

  “What if I don’t want to?”

  “What do you mean, you don’t want to?”

  “Ryan and I are finally friends—” “Katherine, you don’t want to be just friends with the father of your baby; you want to be married to him. It’s what’s best for everyone.”

  I could practically hear Valerie’s wheels spinning, working up a new idea to take out Annie.

  “You just said that Annie wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

  “It’s not about right or wrong.”

  “Then what’s it about?”

  “You know what it’s about, Katherine. Can’t you see yourself with Ryan? Don’t you ever imagine what it would be like to give Jacob a complete family and stable home?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Then you need to do what I say if you want to keep Ryan in your life. Tell him you were out shopping today and saw Annie with a tall, dark haired guy in front of a boutique on the square. Make sure you tell him that Annie straightened her hair.”

  “Why does her hair matter, and who’s the guy?”

  “Just do it!” Valerie commanded.

  “I don’t feel good about it. It feels like I would be tricking him.”

  “What has happened to you?” Valerie asked, exasperated. “I studied you before inviting you here. You used to be up for anything, and now you’re afraid—a scared little girl.”

  “Yes, I’m scared! I don’t want my baby’s father to hate me, and he will if I do what you’re asking. I don’t want to lie to Ryan.”

  Valerie was right; something had happened to me. I didn’t want to piss all over the progress I’d made with Ryan—chance angering him into cutting ties with me. I also couldn’t stop thinking that Annie had kept Ryan from terminating his rights to Jacob. In the beginning that hadn’t mattered to me, but now that Jacob has experienced having his father in his life, I didn’t want to be responsible for taking that away from him.

  “You have to put doubt in his head, Katherine. Or what I’ve got planned will never work.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to make it all work out for you and Jacob and in the process my son will have the life he deserves. You will be a family. I know it’s what you’ve always wanted, and if you don’t do it, then your time here, the improvements you’ve made with Ryan will have been for nothing. You’ll go back to your parent’s house to raise Jacob alone.”

  “I don’t have to go back there.”

  “It doesn’t matter where you live, dear. If you leave here, you’ll be sharing Jacob with Annie for the rest of your life. She’ll be the one sitting next to Ryan at Jake’s little league games. She’ll be at his birthday parties holding Ryan’s hand, possessing what you want, and before you know it, they’ll have children of their own, and then what? How do you think it will make Jacob feel when he realizes his father only sees him on weekends, but lives with his other family full time? Why should the children that Ryan will have with Annie have him full time, and your son become an afterthought? Do you want Jacob to pull some of the stunts you’ve pulled to get a sliver of attention from his father? Do you want him to grow up feeling unloved and—”“I’ll do it,” I shouted over her shrill voice, and then left the room. I didn’t want what Valerie had described for my son. He deserved better and if I had to help get Annie out of the picture to achieve it, then I would.

  That night I told Ryan I had seen Annie, making sure to follow Valerie’s instructions, telling him about Annie’s hair and that she looked cozy with a dark haired guy about his height.

  “How do you know it was Annie?”

  I guess I should have, but I hadn’t expected him to ask me that. I knew better than to mention Valerie. “The picture on your night stand. I saw it the day I moved in.”

  “What were you doing in my room?” he asked defensively.

  “No one was here to tell me which room was mine.”

  “Yeah, okay,” he muttered.

  Ryan seemed unfazed about the guy, explaining that he knew him and that he and Annie had been friends since they were kids, but there had to be a reason Valerie wanted me to mention that guy specifically.

  As Ryan lifted himself off the couch to go to bed, I knew I was losing him. He wasn’t suspicious at all. I would regret it if I didn’t do something.

  “They were holding hands,” I blurted. Ryan’s expression instantly darkened. My body rebelled. I felt so twisted on the inside because I had lied, but I couldn’t let him go back to Annie now. Not after the bleak picture Valerie had painted me.

  Ryan was silent. “I’m sorry,” I said to relieve some of my guilt, which was odd. Gulit wasn’t a feeling I usually struggled with. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “No, it’s fine,” he mumbled, and then absent-mindedly left the room. “I’m going to check on Jake,” he said as he walked away.

  I closed my eyes and buried my head in my hands. I hated that I felt so bad. My conscience tried to get me to do the right thing, to tell Ryan the truth, but I couldn’t change my story now. It would only push him further away, and I needed him to continue to trust me.

  36

  Justin

  “Hi Annie,” Alex chanted when he saw that I was on the phone. I shook my head no, went to my room, and closed the door.

  “Who’s the new girl?” Alex asked, when I came back to the living room.

  “Alden. I met her the last time I was home. She wants to see me during spring break.”

  “You gonna do it?”

  I shrugged.

  “Is Annie gonna be around?”

  “Yeah, she’s out that week, too.”

  “So bring this Alden chick, and see if it makes Annie jealous.”

  “What? No.”

  “You givin’ up on Annie?”

  I didn’t answer.

  “You could always grow a pair and tell her how you feel, unless you’re waiting until after she’s marrie
d to speak up—oh,” Alex gasped. “I know, you’re gonna break into the church all dramatic-like during their wedding and declare your love then. Smart plan.” He laughed.

  “That was not funny. Annie’s doing what she’s doing. It would be stupid of me to try to talk her out of waiting for Ryan. Besides, I’ve kind of tried it, but he’s what she wants. I don’t want to make things weird with her. I’d rather have her in my life than not, and saying something might scare her away.”

  “Take Alden home, see what happens. If you get a rise out of Annie, you’ll know you’ve got a shot with her.”

  I didn’t want to play games, but maybe Alex didn’t have such a bad idea.

  37

  Annie

  I was so happy Justin was coming home. Being with him would make the week fly by instead of inching through one day at a time. It would be nice to move at normal speed instead of in slow motion.

  After school, I went straight to Pam’s. I’d packed a bag the night before, and planned to stay the whole week.

  When Justin answered the door, he hugged me in a way that felt more like a wrestling maneuver, and then kissed the top of my head. I took a second to look him over when he released me. It had been almost a month since I’d last seen him. He appeared bigger, more muscular. He must have been working out like mad.

  Justin was wearing a thin, cream-colored shirt with green Saint Patrick’s Day writing on the front. It clung tightly to his newly toned chest and arms.

  “What’s this?” I grabbed his arm, squeezing it. It was rock hard.

  “What?” he asked, as if he had no idea what I meant.

  “You need to lay off the steroids,” I joked.

  Justin laughed. “Wouldn’t touch that stuff, Reynolds. It shrinks your junk.”

  I gasped, laughing a little.

  “This is one hundred percent hard work paying off in full,” he confirmed in a husky voice, pulling up the end of his shirt with only two fingers like it was too hot for him to touch, revealing his sun kissed six pack abs. I rolled my eyes, but it was pretty beautiful.

  “What? You jealous, Reynolds?” Justin slowly backed away from me, almost bouncing, holding his hands out as if anticipating me to make a full admission of guilt. He was being weird, but I didn’t care. I was just glad to see him.

  “You’re the one about to be jealous.” I scoffed, lifting my shirt showing off my flat, pale white tummy. I nodded at him like look at this. “Huh? Huh?” I provoked.

  “You’re so stupid,” he snickered.

  “I got it from you.” I curled up my lip. Justin hugged me again, and then dragged me by the neck toward the kitchen. Pam stuck her head around the corner. “What are y’all doin’?” She winked at me.

  “Comparing abs.” I told her, rubbing my belly.

  “Who won?”

  “I did,” we said simultaneously.

  “Oh,” I yelled. “Jinx! You owe me a Coke.” I pointed at Justin.

  “I’ll get you that coke, but there’s no way you won, Martha White.”

  “Oh,” I groaned, my eyes wide. He laughed. “You are so going to get it,” I warned him. Justin ran to hide behind Pam, and stuck his tongue out at me.

  “Chicken,” I accused. “Hiding behind your mommy.”

  “What in the world is with you two? You’re acting like you did when you were twelve,” Pam said. Justin and I shrugged. She had a point.

  “Am I going to have to put up my breakables in case the two of you start wrestling next?” she asked, before we entered the kitchen, where there was a girl sitting at the table next to Larry.

  “Hi,” she said to me.

  “Hey.” I waved, and then glanced at Pam like what the hell?

  “Um... Annie this is Alden,” Justin announced. That was why my guts felt like hell. Alden was his new girlfriend. I moaned in my head, feeling my excitement over spending the week with him slipping away. Justin’s love life would once again spoil my fun.

  The girl was beautiful. Her long dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail, showcasing her flawless face, and big, green eyes. She was wearing a halter-top though; tacky for meeting people for dinner I thought.

  38

  Justin

  Originally, I’d thought about bringing Alden home with me to gage Annie’s reaction, but spending the last couple weeks getting to know her, I discovered that I really did like Alden. I’d talked to her on the phone every day since we’d met.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Annie said, then flashed that big fake smile of hers. The one she reserved for her first encounter with the girls I brought around.

  “You, as well,” Alden said. “Justin talks about you all the time.”

  “Aw,” Annie cooed, and then smiled at me. “How sweet,” she ground out, making me laugh.

  “Okay, let’s eat,” Pam mumbled uncomfortably, her hands frantically waving around the table. “It took me all afternoon to hand make this crust and grate whatever kind of cheese this is to make this pizza.” Her impish giggle caused Dad, Annie, and I to laugh, because we got the joke. Pam never cooked under any circumstance.

  During dinner, Alden caught a glimpse of Annie’s ring and nearly came across the table to touch it.

  “Wow,” she gasped. “Where’d you get the rock?”

  “My boyfriend gave it to me for my birthday,” Annie beamed. I was so sick of that stupid ring; I could puke right in my dinner plate.

  “Some birthday gift,” Alden marveled. “Is this an engagement ring?” The question made me look at Annie. It wasn’t supposed to be.

  “No,” she said, cutting her eyes away from mine. “It’s a promise ring.”

  “So you plan to marry?” Alden asked.

  “Someday.” Annie smiled.

  “Well, congratulations, seems like he must be a great guy.”

  I had to bite my tongue. Mullins wasn’t a great guy. He was a selfish, cheating asshole who didn’t deserve Annie.

  After dinner, Alden offered to help Pam clean up and suggested that Annie and I take a few minutes to catch up. After shaking off the initial shock of her suggestion, we went to the living room and sat on the couch.

  “What?” I finally asked Annie. She’d been gawking at me.

  “You’re so tan,” she spouted. It sounded like an accusation.

  I laughed. “Yeah, Reynolds, I like to go outside during the day. Doesn’t look like you have the same problem,” I said and nodded to her pasty white legs.

  “It’s called sunscreen smart mouth,” she chided. It was called staying holed up waiting for a guy. She’d quit ball after the first couple practices. She said she couldn’t focus enough to benefit the team. Pam said Coach Pratt was pissed, and told Annie that she’d later regret her decision since it was fueled by a problem with a boy.

  “What’s happening to you Reynolds?” I asked, trying not to sound too frustrated. “Wearing sunscreen and skipping out on playing ball.”

  “You know why I didn’t play,” she said quietly.

  “I do, and I still think you’re going to regret it.”

  “That’s what I keep hearing,” she moaned. “How’s school?”

  “Still kicking my ass. If I’m not tied up with ball, I’m in class. I was ready for a break.”

  “Are you ever going to stop springing these girls on me?”

  I laughed. “It’s like ripping off a band-aid, Reynolds. I figure it’s the best way to get it over with.”

  “Maybe for you,” Annie complained. “Alden seems nice, though.”

  “She is. I think you’ll like her.”

  “I thought the same thing about Eve. The more innocent they seem, the wearier I should be, I think.”

  “She’s not Eve.”

  “Still, it hardly seems fair that these girls show up knowing all about me when I haven’t heard the first word about them.”

  I smiled at her, trying not to get too caught up in her beauty. “Only a select few make it through to meet you, so you should be happy that I only bri
ng around the ones that are cool with you and me.”

  Annie laughed loudly. “Wow, thank you, Don Juan. That’s awfully considerate of you.”

  “Girls like muscles,” I stated, a playful edge to my tone.

  “What’s so funny?” Alden asked, coming from the kitchen with Pam trailing behind her.

  “Nothing,” I said.

  “I was joking on his Popeye arms,” Annie said.

  “Popeye arms!” I gasped. “Pam, put away the breakables, Annie’s goin’ down.” I snatched her off the couch and pinned her to the floor, forcing her to watch me flex my arms.

  “Popeye’s got nothin’ on these cannons. The National Guard wishes they had firearms as deadly as these,” I called, changing positions, making sure everyone had a nice view. “Welcome to the gun show girls! You can touch ‘em, but it’ll cost you a dollar.”

  Pam shook her head. “Good grief, Son. You’re embarrassing me to death.”

  “Are they always like this?” I heard Alden ask Pam.

  “Not always, but lately they’ve reverted to childhood for some reason.”

  39

  Annie

  Alden went home after we watched a movie, but not before Pam invited her to come back the next afternoon for one of Larry’s famous steaks. She was so nice to me that I wondered if she had the enemies closer mantra in her head.

  It was nice out, and I wasn’t sleepy, so I went to lay in one of the chairs down by the lake. After seeing Alden off, Justin quietly got in the chair with me.

  “She seems nice,” I commented.

  “Yeah,” he sighed. “I think I could really like her. She seems to like you. Not like she’s not pretending for me, but like she really likes you.”

  “I have to say that in comparison to the last girl you brought around, Alden’s perfect.”

  “Are you ever going to let me live that down?”

  I looked at him. “No.”

  “I think I momentarily went nuts. Denise was so different from Eve; I was just acting out or something.”

  I had no comment.

  Justin got quiet for a second, and then said, “She was really fun though.”