After settling me in, Justin ran out to pick up some food. Apparently, Alex and his many, many girlfriends had gradually eaten everything in the kitchen while Justin had been traveling home and back.
Shortly after I’d crawled into bed and cracked open one of the books Pam had sent, Alex came in.
“Hey.” I smiled.
He sat next to me and tilted his head to lie against mine. “I’m sorry Mullins was such a dick to you,” he said sincerely.
“Me too,” I muttered.
“I hope he tears a ligament and ruins his career,” he said, in the same voice.
“I don’t know if I hope for that, but I do believe in karma.”
“You know, dating me would make Mullins sick after seeing how much you’d upgraded.”
I smiled, shaking my head.
“I’m serious. You’re hot. I’m hot. We’d be really hot together. You also follow my baseball career like a stalker, and I dig it.”
“I do not!” I gasped.
“Whatever, girl. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t go out with this,” he bragged, moving his hand down his bare chest. I never bothered with asking why he was shirtless most of the time because I wasn’t interested in hearing the answer. “I don’t think I could date you, Alex. You’re too loose for me.”
“I could change. I could be a one chick guy—for the right girl.”
“And you think I’m the right girl?”
“I didn’t say all that, but I’m willing to find out.”
“I’m not going to sleep with you, so I’m pretty sure that takes me out of the running.”
“You’re missin’ out, Annie.” Alex playfully smiled. “I’m very good at what I do.” He raised his eyebrows, waiting to see if that convinced me, I guess.
“I hope you do find the right girl for you, Alex.”
“Personally, I don’t think you could do any better than me, but I hope you find the right guy, too.”
“Thanks,” I said, although finding the right guy was the last thing on my mind. I was over boys at the moment.
“You never know, that guy could be closer than you think,” Alex added, before closing the bedroom door and leaving me alone. “Shameless,” I muttered.
5
Annie
At the end of the week, Justin and I packed up his things and said goodbye to Alex. As annoying as he could be, he was also very sweet, and I would miss him very much.
Although I would have preferred going to Zimbabwe for college, to avoid bumping into Ryan, I enrolled at Harmon with Justin.
Pam had found us an apartment near campus. It was a two bedroom, two bath place within walking distance. The complex was small, only four buildings with ten units in each one. It was also at the end of a cul-de-sac and the buildings were settled so that they formed a horseshoe shape.
At first, I thought someone was already living in our apartment, but should have known better. Pam had already moved us in—completely. The beds were made. There were dishes in the cabinet, and the fridge was stocked.
After Pam gave us the tour, she left, and Justin and I stared at one another like now what? She hadn’t left a single thing for us to do and it was sinking in that we now lived in this place—together.
Justin got himself a beer from the fridge and as we were going to sit down on our new couch there was a knock at the door.
“Justin.” The guy stuck his hand out. “I’m Gray,” he said, then walked inside without being asked. Gray looked like he belonged at a prep school somewhere. He was wearing green and white plaid shorts, a green Polo shirt, topsiders without socks, and was holding a can of beer tucked inside a neon orange cozy.
The sunglasses perched on his head were attached to one of those dummy ropes so they wouldn’t get lost.
“You must be Annie.” He smiled, holding his hand out.”Pam was right, you are a beautiful girl.” Ohhhh Pam. This was her fault. “Grayson Hunt,” he told me as he zealously shook my hand. His grip almost made me feel dirty.
“Wow, she really did a great job on the place.” Gray released my hand and whirled around in a quick half circle. “Well, now for the reason I’m here.” Finally. He lifted his arm and glanced at his watch. “In roughly fifteen minutes and twenty-nine seconds the sixth annual Grayson Hunt summer kickoff party will begin, and I wanted to make sure the two of you would be there. It happens right behind the building—an all day event filled with juvenile activities.” He winked at me.
“Wouldn’t miss it.” Justin told him as they shook hands again.
“Fantastic. I like you already—drinking before noon. My kind of people,” Grey said on his way out the door. I frowned. Justin was the only one drinking. “Are we really going to that party?”
“Why not?” He shrugged.
There was a ton of space behind our building. And what we’d just walked into looked like a spring break scene in a news clip. There was a girl running around passing out leis. As she did, she giggled saying, “you just got laid.” There were kiddy swimming pools filled with jello, mud, and bubbly water, a karaoke area beside a self-serve open bar, and tons of food.
During all the chaos, Gray introduced us to a few of our neighbors, from whom we learned that Gray had been at Harmon six years, thus the sixth annual summer kickoff party. We also learned that Gray owned the complex we lived in and that he had a habit of giving people nicknames once he started to drink. He called me Annabel and Justin, JB.
Gray’s girlfriend, Nina, surprised me because Gray seemed like the kind of guy who was vain, the type to stick to a strict diet of blond, blue eyed, curvy girls. Nina was none of those things. She was brown eyed, rail thin, and had a red pixie cut. She was sweet and a lot less out there than Gray.
Like most people who’d found out Ryan and I were over, Lindsay had seen the wedding announcement in the newspaper. She’d called a few times to check on me and thankfully kept Ryan’s name out of her mouth. It was still too painful for me to hear; although I was sure she constantly cussed him when I wasn’t within earshot.
I’d called her earlier to tell her about my and Justin’s apartment and asked her to come by after work. Now that we were living in the same city, I hoped to see her more often. Grey’s party was Lindsay’s kind of crazy. I knew she’d love it. All that was missing was a full on circus act.
After finding me in the crowd, Lindsay gripped my arms and said, “I must live in this building. Please tell me there’s a vacancy.”
I laughed. “Pam snagged the last apartment, but you can visit anytime.”
“I hope you mean that, because I plan to take you up on the offer,” she promised. “Where’s your roommate?” she asked.
“Off being felt up by some drunk girls, I’m sure.”
Lindsay started to laugh, but stopped. Something had gotten her attention. She appeared memorized. “Jello shots,” she said evenly, then grabbed my wrist and dragged me to a table littered with tiny plastic containers. Lindsay tossed aside several empties, and undesirable flavors, as she searched for the cherry one she wanted. Lindsay gulped it down, then found one for me.
“I shouldn’t. My parents warned me not to drink with the meds I’m taking.”
“Jello is food, not drink, Annie.”
“But vodka, which is inside the Jello, is drink.”
She shoved the cup closer to my face. “One isn’t gonna kill you. Slurp this. It’ll take the stick out of your ass.”
“I don’t have a…” I started. Lindsay eyed me. “You’re at your first college party. Embrace it. Let go, just for tonight.”
“Fine,” I complained, then swallowed the vodka Jello. Soon, Lindsay had me convinced that Jello shots were like potato chips, and that I couldn’t have just one. So I had one more.
“What are you doing?” Justin asked me as I moved the empty cup away from my mouth.
“She’s having fun,” Lindsay answered.
“She’s not supposed to be drinking.”
“Then why’d you bring her to a
party and abandon her?” she asked, matter of fact.
Justin shook his head. “I didn’t abandon her,” told Lindsay, then looked at me. “You should be careful.”
“She doesn’t need you to run her life,” Lindsay protested.
“She doesn’t need you to ruin it. Drinking with her medication could cause her depression to worsen.”
“Give it a rest, Daddy Justin. I won’t give her anymore.”
“I can handle myself,” I told Justin. I was an adult and tired of being babied. “I’m not your responsibility.”
Justin nodded once, and then walked away. I knew after all he’d done for me, saying that had hurt his feelings.
“I think you pissed him off,” Lindsay said. I hadn’t meant to, but I was feeling the effects of the alcohol, which meant I shouldn’t have any more. “I think I want to go upstairs.”
“You’re not letting Justin get to you, are you?”
“No. I just feel like lying down.”
Lindsay hesitated. I knew she wanted to convince me to stay. “Alright,” she finally said before hugging me. I walked back to our building and trudged upstairs.
Once I was inside the apartment, I wished I’d invited Lindsay to come with me. The quiet wasn’t doing my emotional state any favors. I went to Justin’s room, put on one of his t-shirts and crawled into his bed.
6
Justin
“Where’s Annie?” I asked Lindsay, who was covered in leis and glow bracelets.
“She’s fine.”
“I didn’t ask if she was fine. I asked where she was.”
“What is it with you? Are you hot for her or something? Looking to get in on some rebound action?”
“You’re a bitch.”
Lindsay laughed. “I must be right. You are hot for her.”
“I’m worried about her. You haven’t seen her in a month. You have no idea the shape she was in after Ryan betrayed her. She’s finally doing better and you’re trying to undermine her progress.”
“Undermine her progress? Really, Justin? I was trying to get her to have a little fun and forget Ryan for a while.”
“She’s never going to forget Ryan,” I said, and started to walk away. Lindsay stopped me. “Look, I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t mean any harm. I don’t deal well with feelings. Lindsay said the word as if it were dirty. “You’re a great friend to her—always have been. I guess I’m a little jealous of that.”
“You, jealous?”
“If you tell anyone, I’ll clip your balls. And then, I’ll deny it.”
I smiled at her wicked expression. “You’re a good friend, too—in your own way. I’m going to check on Annie. Be safe getting home.”
“Annie didn’t tell you? I’m moving in.” Lindsay held her arms wide open. “I love this place!” she shouted, making the crowd of people around her cheer. Lindsay winked at me, and then turned around to high-five her new minions.
The apartment was quiet, and mostly dark, except for a light above the kitchen sink that had been left on. When I didn’t find Annie in her room, I felt panicked. I was going to kill Lindsay for giving her alcohol and Annie for drinking it, but calmed down when I found Annie peacefully sleeping in my bed.
She looked so beautiful. I quietly stepped closer to her and reached out to move her hair away from her face, which woke her.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “I can go to my room if you want. It was so quiet. Being in here made me feel less alone.”
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” I said. “You don’t have to leave.”
“I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it.”
“I know.”
“Justin?” she asked, as I turned to leave.
“Yeah?”
“Will you stay with me?”
I wasn’t sure I could lie beside her and keep my composure. I was sure my body would react to her body being so close. Still, I wanted to. I kicked off my shoes and lay on top of the blanket to create a barrier in case she tried to snuggle against me. Which she did.
“Thank you,” she said, when I put my arm around her. Holding her like this was a special kind of torture for me. My face was nuzzled against the back of her neck, and it took everything I had to keep my mouth off her skin. I remembered her taste, the feel of having her warm flesh in my mouth. I had to think of something else. I closed my eyes and imagined gross junk to keep from being turned on. I guess it worked, because the next thing I remember was hearing Annie’s phone ring the next morning.
7
Annie
I’d been dreaming of Ryan when my phone rang. I bolted out of bed to answer it. The possibility of it being Ryan was miniscule, but the thought still stupidly entered my mind.
“Hey, Sweetie.”
“Hi, Pam.”
“Don’t sound too excited,” she chuckled.
“Sorry. I just woke up.”
“I was calling to remind you of your hair appointment with Marshall this afternoon.”
“Hair appointment?”
“For the children’s ball tonight?”
“Oh, of course.” I had completely forgotten.
“I know you’ve been down, but getting dressed up and going out will do wonders for your soul.”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
“I have the perfect dress for you. I’m sending it over with Justin’s tux. Y’all should be there by six; dinner’s at seven-thirty.”
“Thanks. See you then.” I left my phone on the counter and fumbled back to Justin’s room. “We have that charity thing for Pam tonight.”
“We could skip it.”
“She’d be disappointed.”
“I don’t want to go.”
I smiled. “The upside is that I’ll get to see you in a monkey suit again. She’s sending over a tux.”
Justin rolled his eyes. “That’s why I don’t want to go.”
“I’m gonna shower, I’ve got a hair appointment.”
Pam had always had an interest in children’s charities. She said that having a healthy child drove her to help those who didn’t. Normally, she and Larry went to this event alone, but this year Pam reserved an entire table.
***
From the moment I walked into his salon, Marshall groaned at me. He sat me down and folded his arms over his chest.
“Do you own a brush, kitten?” he asked in his lumberjack voice, spinning my chair so that I could see myself in the mirror. I pulled at the frizzy mess sticking out all over my head, pursed my lips, and shrugged.
I had actually looked kind of sloppy since my separation with Ryan, and then I sort of gave up completely after he married Katie. I stopped wearing makeup and paid zero attention to my hair. I put it in a ponytail or slapped a ball cap on my head to deal with it. I had naturally curly hair and if I didn’t do something to it, I looked like a brillo pad, even with it being as long as it was.
Marshall frowned as he concentrated, deliberating where to begin. I stared at myself again as he began to spray me down with detangler. It was the first time, really, in almost five months that I looked at myself in the mirror with any concern for my appearance.
“How did you allow your hair to become in this horrendous condition?”
“I haven’t felt very good lately.”
“This is more than lately. This took months.”
“I had a bad breakup a while back.”
“Well, that’s obvious, but I’m not a mind reader, you’ll have to supply the details. Maybe you’ll feel better if you talk about it. You know what they say—purging is good for the soul.” I didn’t think that was how the saying went, but whatever.
There seemed to be a lot of concern for the wellness of my soul going around. Well, maybe just on Pam’s part. I had a feeling that Marshall only wanted to hear some good gossip. I obliged him anyway.
I told him the story of what had happened with Ryan and me, and noticed at the end that the room was silent—no hair dryers running, no murmuri
ng amongst the other customers and their stylists—everyone was straining to hear what I was saying.
I didn’t like the way I was being looked at. The sorry, warm expressions, sad half smiles, and sympathetic eyes made me feel worse. Even Marshall lightened up on me. I assured them that I would be fine. I don’t think they knew I was lying. I still missed Ryan every day. He was, in spite of everything, my first thought as soon as my eyes opened in the morning and the last one before I drifted to sleep at night. It could have been because I didn’t get closure. I was shut out of Ryan’s life without explanation.
Occasionally, I dreamt of him. Last night, I had dreamt that we were at his farmhouse sitting in a white wicker swing on the front porch, watching the sun set behind the blooming trees. We were snuggled beneath a blanket, kissing and holding hands. The thought made my heart ache and I’d spent most of my time in the shower crying because I knew that could never be in real life.
Before I knew it, Marshall had finished with me. He warned that he had given me a whole new look for my fresh start. I gasped when I caught a glimpse in the mirror. I didn’t recognize myself for a moment. My frizzy hair had been returned to the wavy lox I had known before I’d stopped paying attention. Once dark brown, my hair was now a beautiful honey blond. It was shocking at first, but I was overjoyed. An excited smile crept across my face.
After Carmen did my makeup, Marshall attached an orchid with a bobby pin just above my right ear. While the two of them beamed over their stunningly successful transformation of me, I thanked them profusely, and then rushed home to get dressed for the event.
8
Annie
The dress Pam chose for me was beautiful. It was pink silk chiffon with an empire waist and an a-line silhouette. It flowed just enough when I walked. The bust was hand beaded in a floral pattern. I was thrilled when I put it on. I didn’t know if I was more excited about the dress or the shoes. They were five-inch strappy heels, which would make me only two inches shorter than Justin. I found a black oval ring in some jewelry Pam had given me months ago. I wore it on the middle finger of my left hand and put a few gold bracelets on my left wrist.
Breathe (Sway Part 2) Page 14