Give Me Tonight

by Lisa Kleypas

  "It's not your fault. Dammit, you should've talked to someone about it before filling your guts with forty-rod. No, there was nothing you could have done to stop her…"

  Addie reached the front door and turned the handle. She glanced back and saw Ben's arm slung over the other man's shoulder. It struck her then, how unafraid he was of other people's weakness, how ready he was to share his strength with someone who needed it. Most men would have shrunk from such a scene. But Ben wasn't afraid of emotion, or of being needed.

  Her eyes stung as she stared at him. For the first time she saw him as the man he was, not as she had feared or dreaded him to be. Ben looked up then, becoming aware of her presence on the steps, and his brows drew together in a gathering scowl. He hadn't expected her to be there. Knowing he wanted her to leave before Watts saw her, she slipped guiltily inside the house and went upstairs to her room.

  7

  ADDIE PACED BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE FLOOR OF her bedroom, high-strung and restless. When she was tired of pacing, she flung back the light covers on her bed and lay down, her body rigid as she stared at the ceiling. She could still feel Ben's hands on her… you belong to me … She could hear the rasp of his voice in her ear… I'd never hurt you …

  Addie flopped onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow. The hours crept by as she lay there, but sleep wasn't something you could force. Downstairs the sounds of the men's voices faltered and tapered off, and gradually there was silence. They had all retired for the evening. Sighing heavily, Addie sat up and combed her hair away from her face with her fingers. Her thin white nightgown was twisted around her from hours of restless turning, and she stood up to straighten it out. Then she heard a sound on the stairs, and her heart stopped with a jolt of fear. Her first thought was for Russell.

  "Daddy," she whispered, and fumbled blindly for her robe, throwing it on hastily before opening her door. Since her room was close to the stairs, she had an immediate view of whoever was approaching. Her shoulders sagged with relief as she saw Russell climbing the steps, leaning heavily on Ben. Her expression was tinged with reluctant amusement. Russell was thoroughly drunk. With the slow progress they were making, it would take a long time for them to reach the top.

  "I tellya we're gonna make… lotta money this year," he was saying to Ben, waggling his finger to emphasize the point. "Betcha it'll go up to eight or nine dollars a hunnred on the hoof-"

  "If you say so," Ben muttered, nearly losing his balance as Russell stumbled on the next step.

  "Thas' right… this year… cow's jumpin' over the moon…"

  "Only if you start thinking about breeding some better animals with your damn stringy longhorns."

  "Thas' right… I'm thinkin' 'bout that… Smart boy- "

  "Thank you."

  "But… you ain' been smart 'nuff t' go after my daughter. My Adeline. Don' you know she's the pretties' girl in Texas?"

  Ben dragged him up another step. "Yes, sir." Addie raised her eyes heavenward. Russell was bound and determined to play matchmaker in his uniquely heavy-handed way.

  "Then why haventcha…?" Russ demanded, gesturing with his hand and nearly sending them toppling down the steps. "She's sweet-tempered-"

  "When she wants to be."

  "Got everythin' a man could want-"

  Addie couldn't keep from interrupting any longer. "Do you need some help?" she asked crisply, and both men looked up at her, Russell with foggy surprise, Ben with a familiar narrow-eyed glance. "You're going to wake the whole house up," she said.

  Ben shrugged. "Russ just tipped the bottle one time too many. Thought I'd help him upstairs."

  "You've done a lot of that sort of thing tonight, haven't you?" she remarked, going halfway down the stairs and taking her father's other arm.

  Russell squinted down at her. "You're up late, honey," he said mildly.

  "So are you."

  With a great deal of sweat and effort, they managed to get him up the steps and into his bedroom, a small miracle considering Russell's condition.

  "Thanks," Ben said as they helped Russell to the bed, where he promptly collapsed.

  "What possessed you to think you could get him up here alone?" Addie asked, arranging a pillow underneath the slumbering man's head.

  Ben grinned, going to the foot of the bed and pulling off Russell's boots. "Optimism."

  "Simplemindedness," she corrected, peering at him suspiciously, as if questioning his judgment. "And just how much have you had to drink?"

  "Why? Are you offering to tuck me in too?" Disconcerted, she turned and left the room, aware of his footsteps as he followed her and closed the door. Slowly she walked down the hall, refusing to look at him. Her heart began to beat faster as Ben passed the stairs and continued to follow her. "I'm perfectly sober," he remarked.

  "I have no interest in your condition."

  "Why are you up at two-thirty in the morning?"

  "That's no concern of yours."

  "So you couldn't sleep. I wonder why."

  They reached her door and Addie stopped, afraid he was going to ask to be invited in, afraid of what she might say. She fortified her determination before whirling around to face him. He was unbelievably handsome with his black hair disheveled and his rumpled white shirt rolled up at the sleeves. Rapidly she tried to think of something, anything to say to forestall the question she knew he would ask.

  "Ben, I wondered… "

  "What?" He braced a hand on the doorframe behind her and rested his weight on it. She shrank back a little.

  "What was the matter with that cowhand you talked to tonight?"

  "Watts?" Ben hesitated, as if debating whether or not to tell her. "He went over to the next county to hunt down the truth about a rumor he'd heard about his sister."

  "Oh?"

  "He's been supporting his mother and sister on the pay he earns, does odd jobs on the side to get extra money. Apparently from what he found out tonight, he couldn't provide enough for them."

  "What did he find out?"

  "His sister's working in a dance hall. "

  "As a dancer?"

  "As a… fancy woman." That was a delicate way of putting it. There were a hundred more colorful words that were more commonly used to describe a whore, all of which would have offended a lady's sensibilities. He wasn't sure if Addie would have taken exception or not.

  "Oh, Ben." Addie's voice was soft with pity. "How old is she?"

  He shrugged. "Sixteen, seventeen."

  "What if she had more money? How much would it take so she wouldn't have to work there anymore? I can find some way to get some from Daddy. You know how tenderhearted he is inside-"

  "I've already offered to help. Watts refused to take a cent. At the moment he's not thinking too straight. I'll try again tomorrow when his head is clearer." As Addie continued to frown, Ben reached out to touch a lock of hair that was trailing over her shoulder. He tugged it gently. "Don't look so worried. It'll be all right. "

  "I hope so." She looked down at the floor. "Sometimes I can't believe how much unhappiness there is in the world."

  "What are you unhappy about?" Ben nudged her chin up with the tip of his forefinger and smiled into her eyes. "Tell me and I'll fix it."

  "You couldn't begin to," she said shortly, jerking away from him. "Just leave, please. I'm going to bed now."

  "Leave? But this is my favorite part of the evening. "

  "Good night," she said firmly.

  "I hope so." He smiled into her startled face, reaching past her to the doorknob, turning it with a deft twist. The door swung open as if eager to welcome him. Addie was speechless as Ben pushed her into the room and closed the door behind him with a nudge of his elbow. He hadn't asked to be invited. Typical of him.

  "B-Ben… " she stuttered.

  "Hmmn?" He arched an eyebrow in casual inquiry, rolling down his sleeves.

  "Ben, get out of here. I… What are you doing?"

  "What I've been wanting to do ever since we were inte
rrupted earlier." He was starting on the front of his shirt now, freeing the buttons one by one. Stunned, Addie watched with her jaw hanging as the firm, tanned flesh of his torso was revealed by the gaping shirt. Then she glanced at the door, unable to believe Ben had come in here and started to strip his clothes off. Was this another one of her nonsensical dreams? It had to be.

  She heard the rustle of his shirt dropping to the floor, and looked back with a start. He was bare to the waist. He seemed much larger without the shirt on, his shoulders broad, his arms and chest heavily muscled. The expanse of abdomen revealed by low-riding jeans was etched with washboard muscles, sun-bronzed except for the half-inch of paler skin that gleamed just above the top of his Levi's.

  Addie pointed at his discarded shirt with a finger that trembled slightly. "I told you to get out… I… Put that back on!"

  Ben smiled slowly, walked over to her bed, and sat down. And held her eyes while he yanked at a boot. That calm, anticipatory stare was too much to. bear. She found her tongue and began to babble, certain that any minute someone in the house was going to find out what was going on in her room.

  "Ben… Ben, stop that and listen to me. I'm sorry for the things I did tonight that might have made you think I'm interested in doing this with you, because I'm not, I'm not ready to do this with anyone, especially not you, and if Daddy knew you were in here right now, he'd kill you, either that or tomorrow morning you'd find yourself on the wrong end of shotgun until you promised to m-m…" Her voice stuck on the last word.

  "Marry you?" Ben finished for her helpfully. He pushed his boots aside with one bare foot and stood up. There was an enigmatic softness in his voice. "Interesting idea, isn't it?"

  "Not very," she quavered, knowing she had no control over the situation, searching for some retreat. "Although I'm certain you like the idea of marrying someone with my money. And you know my father would give you everything he has if we got married, including the ranch, with no strings attached. Oh, I'll bet the prospect of being my husband holds no end of appeal for you."

  As Ben saw her distress, the hint of ruthless amusement faded. "To hell with your father's money and the ranch. I don't need to be given anything. I have my own resources, including enough money to do whatever the hell I want."

  "H-how can that be?"

  "Mavericking is a highly profitable venture, if done well. And I had a particular talent for it. So I don't need your money. But you're damn right-the idea of being your husband appeals to me. And in the next few hours I'm going to show you why."

  She was shaken by a chill and then a flash of heat as she watched him unfasten the top button of his Levi's.

  "Come here," he said, his stare direct and compelling.

  Before she could stop herself, her eyes flickered down to the shadowy opening of his unfastened jeans, where the lean stretch of his abdomen continued downward into a furring of dark hair. In the course of her work at the hospital she had seen men unclothed before, but never anyone so uninhibited about it. People were always embarrassed without the protection of their clothes. Ben seemed to be entirely comfortable without them.

  Her instinct to bolt was overpowering. Leave. All she had to do was leave the room. He certainly wouldn't chase her through the house while he was half-naked. She would head for the kitchen and stay there until he'd had enough time to cool down. She'd sit there all night if she had to.

  Cautiously Addie took a step backward, trying to gauge the distance to the door, her nerves screaming for action. She started to move, and in the next second found herself hauled back against his body. She went still, her chest heaving, aware of his sinewy midriff against her back.

  "I told you once before not to be afraid." Ben said, lowering his mouth to her ear. She stiffened as she felt his hand slide inside her robe and claim her breast, seeking to find its shape through the folds of her nightgown.

  "Let me go," she whispered.

  He rested his thumb in the valley between her breasts and rubbed gently before allowing his hand to wander down to her stomach and the pliant warmth between her thighs. The veil of her nightgown did nothing to disguise her response.

  Ben nuzzled into the crook of her neck and inhaled the tantalizing fragrance of her skin. "I won't hurt you," he muttered. "You know that. The things we did before gave you pleasure, didn't they? It won't be any different now."

  She gulped and shook her head, trying to suppress the anticipation that rushed out from the very core of her. There was no sound in the room but her labored gasps. Slowly his fingers moved further between her legs, and she groaned his name in protest, leaning her head back against his shoulder.

  "It's not fair to take advantage of me this way."

  "I'll take advantage of everything I can to get you. What's wrong with that?"

  "Everything. You know I don't want to feel this way about you."

  "That doesn't matter. I won't go away, and neither will your feelings. And I won't stop forcing you to face them until you accept the truth about you and me. "

  The truth, she thought wildly. What is the truth? Was she in the arms of a murderer? If he was capable of that, then everything he had said to her was a lie. She couldn't accept that. In her heart she had to believe in him, or never trust in anything again, especially her own instincts. The conflict, the doubt, tore at her with icy claws.

  "Please," she wheezed, prying at his hands, and she stumbled away as he let her go. Spinning around, she looked at him in panic, his face branded permanently in her memory. Image after image blazed through her mind: Ben, kneeling by her after she'd been thrown from her horse… risking his life for a wounded man… laughing at her temper… fighting Jeff for her… comforting Watts when he cried… helping a drunken Russell to bed… holding her with passion.

  Ben-comforter, protector… lover.

  He was no murderer.

  He didn't do it. He isn't capable of cold-blooded murder. That was the only truth she found inside. She couldn't doubt it, no matter what price she might have to pay for her faith in him. There was nothing else to choose. With the decision made, Addie knew an overwhelming relief.

  "What do you want?" she asked unsteadily.

  Ben looked at her with a consuming gaze. "To be part of you… part of your life. But I'll be damned if I can stand not having your trust. I'm worthy of it. "

  "I know."

  "Then I deserve the chance to prove it. Trust me. Give me tonight. I swear you won't be sorry." As he waited for an answer and she remained silent, he wound her hair around his hand and pulled her head back, forcing her to look at him. "Dammit, Addie, I'm in love with you. And I'm through with games. Do you understand? I love you. "

  An ache of sweetness swept over her. She couldn't speak. Her eyes filled with tears, and her arms crept around his neck. Ben's impatience subsided as he felt her quiver.

  "Give me tonight," he said, knowing he had won, and she pulled his head down to hers. He crushed her against his body. The heat of his skin seared through her nightgown, raising goose bumps of pleasure, causing the peaks of her breasts to tighten.

  His mouth was savage, his arms bruising in their strength. They were so close their heartbeats mingled, and though Addie's pulse was pounding madly, Ben's was like violent thunder. Their kisses lengthened, deepened, lingered.

  His body was bronze and silver in the faltering light from the window. Addie splayed her hands over his back, explored down to the loosened waist of his Levi's, then stopped in sudden shyness. Ben murmured something indistinguishable and spread the edges of her robe, easing it down her arms. It dropped to the floor with a soft rustle.

  She stood motionless, her fingers resting at his waist as he undid the tiny button at the top of her high-necked gown, then the next, following the trail of fastenings down to a spot just beneath her breasts. His lips brushed against her cheek, catching the last glimmer of a forgotten tear.

  Unhurriedly he peeled the nightgown off her shoulders and let it drop in a circle around her feet. Their
fingers tangled together as he took her hands and led them to his shoulders. She left them there and let him look at her, shivering slightly as his eyes traveled over her slender body. Impossible to look at his face, for fear of what she might see written there. She wanted to be everything for him. She wanted to be perfect for him. His gaze moved down her, returned slowly to her face, and his eyes darkened with passion.

  "I knew you'd be beautiful," he whispered. "I knew I'd want you. But nothing close to this." He picked her up and carried her to the bed, his feet making no sound on the floor. Helplessly she clung to him, her feet dangling as his arm hooked under her knees. The whole world seemed to tilt as he settled her on the bed. He stripped off his jeans and bent over her. Biting her lower lip to hold in a moan, she closed her eyes as his mouth descended to her breasts.

  Restlessly she twisted underneath him, craving the weight of his body on hers, and he slid his hand down to her stomach, pressing her against the mattress. "Slow," he murmured, his fingers skimming the curve of her hip. "Slow and patient… Addie. love… "

  "I want to be yours-"

  "You are."

  "I want you inside me."

  "Not yet." His tongue feathered along the indentation of her midriff, causing her to quiver. "Not yet… we have time."

  She stroked his hair, loving the feel of him, the freedom of touching him. In this moment he belonged to her… he was hers. Slowly her thoughts were drowned out by his gentle hands and his whispering. Random whispers, praising her, encouraging her to respond, heightening her pleasure.

  "Your hips fit my hands…you're so smooth here… and here. Move closer let me touch don't be shy with me. I love the smell of your skin like flowers… what do you want?… take my hand and show me… yes, like that… "

  He was intent on knowing her better than she did herself. All secrets were stripped away from her in the darkness, everything that was private and intimate revealed. She refused -him nothing, answering silent questions she had never dreamed he would want to ask. The need to know him in the same way, to understand his body, was a scourging fire.