by Lisa Kleypas
"I'm a little tired," she said in response to May's questioning glance. "I believe I'll retire early tonight." Ben's gaze sought and found hers, and she saw the concern in his eyes. It was unusual behavior for her, and he suspected something was wrong.
"Addie-" he started, and she interrupted him gently.
"I'll see all of you tomorrow morning. Good night." As she left the room, she could feel Ben's eyes boring into her back. Pausing at the foot of the stairs, she waited until the sound of conversation resumed. Then she slipped out the front door. It was still too early for Robbie Keir, the boy who had been assigned to patrol around the house, to begin his watch.
Addie looked right and left before sneaking across the shoit distance to Ben's cabin, keeping to the shadows as much as possible. Triumphantly she reached the door and slipped inside, her heart thumping with excitement. She had no idea how she'd get back to her own room before morning without being discovered. Ben would have to figure it out.
Leisurely she moved around the cabin, finding it immaculate and sparsely furnished. The bed was narrow, with a hard, thin mattress, but it was covered with an intricately woven Indian blanket, and the sheets and pillowcase were snowy white. Since Ben did most of his paperwork in Russell's office, the small desk in here was bare except for a few books. She looked through them and discovered a thin volume of Shakespeare, a biography of Thomas Jefferson, a book on stock raising, and a report from a livestock journal about cattle transportation. How very boring, she thought, and smiled, reflecting that he probably didn't have that much time to read anyway. His guitar was propped up in one shadowy comer, a bootjack tucked into another. Wandering over to the bed, Addie settled down on the mattress and keeled over, burying her face in the pillow. It was scented of him, and she rubbed her cheek into it luxuriously, closing her eyes.
In spite of her anticipation, Addie fell into a shallow sleep until she was alerted by the sound of footsteps. The door was opened and she sat up, blinking as Ben entered the room.
To see Addie curled up kittenishly on his bed, sleepy-eyed and tousle-haired, was the last thing he expected. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at her, his green eyes widening as they moved from her tumbling honey-brown hair to her disheveled dress. Stunned, he could do nothing but stand there and stare.
"I don't believe you're here," he said, sounding bemused.
"I wanted you," she said, pushing a lock of hair away from her eyes. "At least say you're glad I'm here."
"Glad?" he repeated thickly. In a fraction of a second he reached the bed and scooped her up, sitting down with her in his lap. He kissed her hungrily, stealing her breath away, and his lips moved down her throat. Clumsily he fumbled with the buttons of her dress. Reaching up to help him, Addie unfastened her bodice, and with each new inch of smooth skin revealed, his greedy kisses ventured lower.
"Was it a good idea for me to sneak over here?" she asked breathlessly, running her fingers through his hair.
His arms wrapped around her, and he engulfed her in a bone-crushing hug. "It was inspired," he said, burying his face in his throat. In a flurry of passion they talked at the same time, not bothering to take turns or even finish sentences.
"I've missed you so much-"
"Not half as much as I-"
"And every time I turn around, you're more beautiful than a minute ago-"
"All I can think about is you-"
"How do you get this off?" he demanded, searching for the hooks of her chemise, and before she could show him, he ripped the thin material straight down the front.
"Ben," she protested, torn between laughter and protest, and gasped as his lips moved over her breasts. His mouth fastened over an aching nipple, tugging gently. Moaning, she tilted her head back and arched up to him, her body on fire. There was a tremor in the arms that held her.
"It's been so long," she whispered.
"Forever."
Feverishly she worked at the buttons on his shirt while he reached under her skirts and stripped off her stockings. His hand ventured up to her knee, but her pantalets prevented him from exploring further.
"I've been going crazy," he muttered in the under-curve of her breast. "Wanting you, and seeing you every day, and not being able to have you-"
"Make love to me," she interrupted. "Quickly." He half-laughed, half-groaned, lowering her to the mattress. In a few violent tugs he removed his boots and stripped off his shirt, then turned to help Addie wriggle out of her dress.
Impatiently he tossed the clothes to the floor and bent over her body. She pulled his head down to her breasts, purring as he kissed her, his tongue stroking lightly, sensitive to her every response. His warm palms brushed over her thighs, starting at the outsides, moving to the inner curves, and then his hand was between her legs. His breathing deepened as the wet sheath of her contracted around his fingers.
"So sweet… ah, I need you," he said against her lips, pushing deeper, and her nails dug into his back.
Brokenly she said his name. Her tongue thrust into his mouth, testing the even edge of his teeth. She writhed against him, her toes curling tightly as she felt the beginnings of a surging climax. Shocked that it was so quick, she reached for the fastenings of his jeans, wanting him inside her before the rising wave of pleasure broke.
Ben unfastened the stubborn buttons, his head spinning with the sound of her faint cry as he slid into the pulsing depths of her body. Addie's hands slipped downward and clenched over his flexing buttocks. Her body tightened around his as she was consumed by the white heat of fulfillment. He only had time for a few hard thrusts before the same ecstasy swept through him. They remained locked together, savoring the contractions of their joined flesh, tense until weakness flooded them both. Tenderly his mouth moved over hers, tasting and exploring. Everything before this moment had been flavored with desperation. Everything afterward was deliciously slow.
"I love you," he whispered, holding her body against his, resting his chin in the curve of her shoulder and neck. Sighing in contentment, Addie wrapped her legs around him possessively. They were both quiet for a long time, until the glow of splendor faded.
Addie was the first to stir, tugging at the waist of Ben's Levi's, and he smiled down at her, his expression lazy and relaxed for the first time in weeks.
"I had planned to take them off," he murmured. "Are you going to?" she asked drowsily.
He was too exhausted to move. "In a minute." She locked her arms around his back, loving the heaviness of his body over hers. "Don't move. Not yet. "
"Don't worry."
His mouth found hers and they kissed languorously. Eventually Ben rolled to his side and stripped his jeans off. As soon as the garment was dropped to the floor, Addie snuggled close again, relishing the feel of his hair-roughened legs against hers. Her small hands wandered over his. ribs and around to his back, and she marveled at how beautiful he was. "You're very strong," she said, walking her fingers up his spine.
"I wasn't always. Texas toughened me up a lot."
"What were you like when you were at Harvard?" she asked, tracing the indentations of his midriff. "All skinny and pale?"
Ben chuckled. "No, but I was in no shape to survive a trail drive, either."
"Texas must have been very different from what you'd been used to."
"I learned quickly." He smiled reminiscently. "At first I didn't even know how to rope a steer. I had to learn a lot of things the hard way."
"It must have been frightening."
"More lonely than anything else. The worst thing was never seeing any women. I ran a couple of long drives, and after several months of celibacy, those cattle towns were a taste of heaven. Whiskey that burned your guts out-they call it Kansas Sheep Dip-and women everywhere. God Almighty, those women… big, gaudy women with names like Hambone Kate and Dancing Annie. When the boys and I got to town, our eyes nearly dropped out of our heads at the sight of all those feathers and red dresses. The first night I spent in Dodge City, I went from saloon to s
aloon, and-“
"I hope you spent all your money and went back to Texas with a hangover."
Ben laughed. "I did:'
"Feathers and red dresses…" Addie mused, wondering what Ben would say if he saw her in a skirt that barely covered her knees.
"Maybe I'll buy you a red dress someday," Ben said, his eyes twinkling. "Something different from all that pink you like to wear. And you can wear it for me in private, with your feet bare and your hair falling down your back. "
"Buy me feathers too.”
He grinned and rolled over, pulling her on top of him. "Lord, Addie, I'm never gonna get tired of you.”
"Oh, I guarantee you won't:' she replied, bracing her forearm across his chest. "I'll make sure of it.”
He pulled her wrists out from underneath her, causing her to collapse on him, her breasts pressing into his chest. Before she could make a sound, his hands cupped the back of her head and exerted pressure to bring her mouth against his. Addie kissed him ardently, angling her head to the side. Her eyes slitted open as she felt a gentle light on her face. The moon was shining into the room, its beams reaching in through the window and touching everything with a silvery glow. Ben's face was thrown into relief, a study in light and darkness, and he was so starkly handsome that her heart missed a beat.
"I adore you, Ben Hunter," she said, touching his cheekbones with her fingertips. He drew her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. Smiling with pure happiness, she laid her cheek on his chest and stared at the window with half-open eyes. A filament of light had fallen across the comer of the room, striking off the scuffed surface of the propped-up guitar. The sight of it caught her gaze for a reason she didn't understand, and she continued to stare, her smile disappearing.
There was a gap in the row of strings, like one tooth missing from a row of teeth. Addie blinked, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. The gap remained. One of the strings was gone. The breath stopped in her throat. Panic stabbed her heart in a cold thrust.
"No, " she gasped, suddenly springing into action, fighting to be free of Ben's arms. Stunned by the explosion of movement, he took hold of her flailing arms and tried to hold her still.
"Addie," he snapped. "What in the hell is wrong with you?"
"Let me go," she cried, turning white. "Please…Ben… go to the house. Russell… Oh, God, Daddy-"
"Nothing's happened to him. He's safe and sound. Addie, for God's sake, calm down."
"Please," she said, bursting into tears, feeling as if her heart would burst out of her chest. "We have to help him."
Reading the terror in her eyes, he swore and released her, reaching for his jeans and yanking them up to his waist. She scrambled for her dress, her hands shaking. Before she could pull on her clothes, Ben was already out the door.
A cloud drifted over the moon, dimming its light, but not before Ben saw the crumpled shape of a man near the steps of the porch. Suddenly he was gripped by the same fear that had taken hold of Addie, and he tore over to the house, sliding to his knees beside the body. Robbie Keir, the boy who was supposed to be watching over the area. He was unconscious. Someone had hit him on the side of the head with a blunt object.
Ben rose to his feet, the blood draining from his face. "Jesus Christ," he muttered, and took the stairs in two leaps, running across the porch and flinging open the front door. As soon as he stepped inside, pain burst inside his head like a brilliant light. He collapsed to the floor without a sound.
Buttoning her dress haphazardly, Addie left Ben's cabin and ran barefoot to the house, her hair flying out behind her. It seemed as if she had to run miles. Don't let anything have happened, she begged feverishly. She should have stayed in her room that night. She shouldn't have gone to be with Ben, not when there was still a chance Russell was in danger. But it couldn't have really happened… no, she was having a nightmare, just as she had so many times before. She felt small and terrified, like a child who faced a fear too great to comprehend, and now nothing would soothe her but the sight of Russell, safe and carefree and laughing at her worry.
Addie's steps slowed as she saw the boy on the ground, one arm outflung, the other curled limply around his head. Dread weighted her down like a heavy cloak. Without even pausing to look at the still figure, she went to the front door, which was ajar. She found Ben just inside, his dark-skinned torso blending with the somber color of the carpet. Sinking down beside him, she choked back tears and searched until she felt warm wetness at the base of his skull. He stirred and moaned as she touched the swelling wound, his eyelashes flickering.
There was a sound of clattering metal, seeming to come from the kitchen. Someone was leaving the house. Addie looked in the direction of the sound and stood up, hardly aware of what she was doing. Gasping for breath, she ran to the upstairs bedrooms, ignoring the sounds of the family waking and stirring in their rooms. Cade's door opened, and Caroline's, and sleepy voices were asking her what was the matter, what had happened, but she didn't speak or stop to look at them. She went to Russell's room and went inside, leaving the door half-open. Although the room was dark, she could see the gleam of his eyes as he lay on his side.
"Daddy?"
He didn't answer. The threat of tears passed as everything inside went cold. Moving to the dresser, Addie tried to light the lamp, but she was trembling too badly. Biting her lower lip until it hurt, she tried again, and the soft glow of a flame filled the room. As she turned back to the bed, she saw Russell's body frozen in a convulsion, his face tinted blue-white even in the golden light of the lamp. It was obvious without going any closer that it was too late to revive him. Something deeper than grief spread through her, more hurtful than any kind of pain she'd ever felt. She'd let it happen to him. Stumbling against the wall, she buried her face in her arms and clenched her fists.
"Adeline?" She heard Cade's voice near the door.
The sound caused her to move quickly, blocking him before he got close enough to the doorway to see what had happened.
"Where's Mama?" she asked, her eyes as dark as coal.
"Seeing to Ben downstairs," he replied, bewildered. "He's just coming to. Someone knocked him out. What's happening, Adeline? Why do you look so funny? Why isn't Daddy-"
"Hush!" Thoughts swooped in and out of her mind, faster than she could catch hold of them. She had to force herself to concentrate. "Go to the bunkhouse and find someone to help you get the sheriff."
"I can go alone-"
"I don't want you going alone. Now, leave, and be quick. And tell Peter to keep Mama and Caro away from this room. And Robbie Keir is outside. He's been hurt. Tell Mama to see to him after she's through with Ben. "
Cade nodded in a businesslike manner, but the tremble of his lower lip spoiled the effect. "Why isn't Daddy up? What's wrong? Something's happened to him, hasn't it?"
"Yes." She couldn't give him sympathy or tell him gently, or they would both fall apart. "He's dead."
His soft brown eyes went blank, then brimmed close to overflowing. "No. He can't be. Oh, Ad-"
"Don't," she said sharply, knowing that if he broke down, she'd fall into pieces. "Not now. Act like a man, Cade. I need you to help me." He shuddered and pressed his fists into his eye sockets, getting control of himself. "Hurry," Addie said, and went back into the room, closing the door. Drawing near the bed, she looked into Russell's staring eyes, reached out and closed them with her fingertips. Her face twisted as she saw the thin steel cord embedded in his neck. It was from Ben's guitar. She had to get it off him before May saw, before anyone saw. As she extended a hand to the bloodied string, she felt a shudder go through her insides, and she wrapped her arms around her middle, staring at Russell's body. I can't…I can't touch him again.
It was too grisly. But it had to be done. She took hold of the cord and began to pry it away, breathing through her mouth to avoid the smell of death. It hurt more than she could.have imagined to have him die this way. He hadn't deserved this, a death so ignominious for such a proud m
an. The circumstances, and her responsibility, made it more painful than when Leah had died. I can't think about that yet, she thought, her self-control faltering. She would have to break the news to Ben, and to Caro and Peter. But she didn't want to be the one to tell May. She couldn't look her mother in the face and tell her. Someone else could do it.
The doorknob turned, and May stood in the doorway without moving. An immaculate golden braid trailed over her shoulder, almost reaching the belt of her tiny-waisted robe. She looked incredibly fragile, her face chiseled out of ivory, her face etched with lines Addie had never noticed before. Cade must have told her. Addie let go of the cord and turned to keep her from coming any closer. Before anyone could see Russell, she had to clear the room of the evidence planted to frame Ben.
"Mama-"
"Leave me alone with him."
Addie moistened her dry lips. "Mama, I need a few minutes to…"
Like a sleepwalker, May went to the bed, not looking at her. Addie fell back a few steps. "He… he was murdered," she said helplessly.
May ignored her and knelt by Russell's body, her back perfectly straight.
Slowly Addie backed away and went out into the hallway, her mind spinning. There was no time to fix things now. She would have to let the guitar string remain where it was, and provide an alibi for Ben. It would have to be enough to protect him.
The house was quiet except for the muffled sounds coming from Caro's bedroom. Ben was nowhere to be seen. Addie guessed he was outside with Robbie Keir. Walking to the stairs on trembling legs, she headed to Russell's office, where she was certain she'd find a bottle of whiskey. Maybe a drink would help to steady her nerves and stop her from shaking. She whirled around like a scalded cat as Caro's door burst open and Peter stepped out, his eyes wild.