Lost in the Mist of Time

by Karen Michelle Nutt

He didn’t answer but leaned down and gave Moira a kiss on her cheek. She dropped her eyes, startled by his bold act. “I hope I did not offend ye,” he said hurriedly, praying he had not misinterpreted the way she felt about him. Maybe he had misread the meaning in her eyes.

  “Nay,” she finally answered. “Ye surprised me is all.” She managed to look at him again. “Why did ye…ye know?”

  “I was hoping that ye would join hands with me.” He was so nervous. “I mean, I would ask ye to be my wife.”

  “Ye want me to be yer wife?” She was aware that Teige had glanced her way now and again, but she had only dreamed that he would care for her in that way.

  “Aye. I would be most honored. I would be good to ye, Moira. I would do….”

  “I will marry ye,” she rushed to say before he might change his mind. “Ye will?” His eyes widened in pleasant surprise.

  “I can think of nothing that would please me more.”

  “Agreed then.” They stared at each other not really sure what they were supposed to do now, but it seemed some sort of gesture should be made.

  Finally Teige took hold of her shoulders and drew her near. The tilting of her head and the slight parting of her lips was all the encouragement that he needed. His lips slowly descended to meet hers and he felt her quiver at the sweet tenderness of his kiss. It ended all too soon for Moira broke the embrace and took a nervous step back.

  “Ye shouldn’t do that, ye know.” Moira looked over his shoulder to see if anyone had entered the hall.

  Teige wasn’t listening and took hold of her arm pulling her against him once more. “I don’t want to stop. I have tasted yer sweet lips. How can I not kiss ye again?”

  She put her hand in his chest. “As much as I like yer caresses, sir, we must not indulge.”

  “Ye like my kisses, do ye?” He tried to take her in his arms but she slipped from his grip.

  “Very much so but now I must finish my work. Be off with ye.”

  As she walked down the hall, Teige smiled as he watched her hips sway back and forth. Just as she reached the stairs, she turned. She gave him a beguiling smile, making him fear his heart would leap from his chest.

  Chapter 68

  Dougray entered Aislinn’s chambers to inform her of their plans. She was perched on the window seat, a forlorn expression penetrating her features. She didn’t even acknowledge his presence, but continued to stare out the window.

  Where had her spirit gone? She had always been bubbling over with life and now she looked to have no energy at all. How had he let this happen to his beautiful Scathach?

  He walked over to her dinner tray and saw that the food had been moved around the plate, but nothing had been eaten. Obviously her stomach was giving her trouble again. He swallowed the lump in his throat putting aside the sympathy he was feeling for her. She needed someone to push her back to her strong determined self before it was too late.

  “We will be leaving for Dublin.” He thought that maybe she had not heard him for not a muscle did she move. He was about to repeat his announcement when she finally spoke.

  “I don’t want to go.”

  “Well as I see it, ye are not doing anything of importance here and ye are going.” He called for Moira and waited until the young woman made her appearance. “Have milady’s things packed and ready. We will leave tomorrow.” He looked at Aislinn again. “Ye will be ready or I will personally drag ye down to the carriage myself.”

  She finally turned toward him, her dark eyes were wild, haunted. “I will not go with you. I’ll…” For a moment he thought that he heard a little of her old self in that threat, but she again retreated. “I can’t.”

  “Just have her trunk packed,” he stated gruffly to Moira before he strode out of the room.

  By mid morning the next day, everything was prepared and readied for their trip.

  Moira had gone on ahead to inform Dougray that Aislinn would be down soon. That was over twenty minutes ago. Dougray had his hands behind his back, pacing to and fro, and with each step his temper rising.

  “Blast it!” He slapped his gloves on his legs and started toward the castle with all intent of carrying out his threat of bodily dragging Aislinn out of her room, but then he spotted her.

  She was elegantly dressed in a dark, green velvet gown and with black lace sleeves, her hair pulled back in a twisted braid and skewered with an emerald- jeweled bodkin. He thought she was still far too thin, but even so she was breathtakingly beautiful.

  She held her head high as she started toward him and he noticed that she had Declan with her as well. He shrugged. The boy would be welcomed. He had no qualms in taking him with them. The lad seemed to make Aislinn happy, where he had failed.

  She had reached him, her dark eyes challenging him to insist that Declan would have to be left behind. Instead he knelt down beside the boy. “Ye are quite dressed for the occasion. Turn around and let me have a look at ye now.” Declan did as he was told and faced Dougray with a grin. “A.J. had Rhiannon fix me up. Do I look fine?”

  “Ye do indeed. Are ye ready to take another long trip to Dublin?” “Aye, milord. Ye don’t mind then?”

  “Of course not.” He ruffled the boy’s blond hair and rose to his full height to face Aislinn. “Milady.” He swept his hand toward the coach. He had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep from smiling for she nearly glared daggers at him when he tried to help her into the carriage. “I’m not an invalid. I can manage myself.”

  “As ye wish.” After he helped Declan and Moira in, he shut the door and he leaned in through the window. “I know ye don’t want to go on this trip, but ye’ll feel better for it, Aislinn.”

  Again the glare that most definitely told him to drop dead. “I will never feel all right. Do not proceed to tell me that I will.” She looked straight ahead then, obviously dismissing him.

  Miriam rested her head on Tremain, her hand idly caressing his chest. She had to tell him, but how she hated to ruin this moment. She had only begun to enjoy the union and now she would have to send him away. How she detested the clan difficulties. Men could be such children about their beliefs and convictions.

  “Ye know that my grandfather has arranged for a gathering for a festive evening.”

  “Aye, I have heard. I don’t believe I was invited.” He kissed the top of her head, not really interested in conversation. His hand began to roam down her body, touching every place that he had recently kissed.

  Miriam tried not to be distracted but his touch was like magic, hypnotizing her. “Ye must know that my brother will be attending.”

  That stilled him and his eyes raised to regard her. “Why do ye tell me this?”

  “Because he will be staying here with me.”

  If anything could ruin his mood, this was it. He pulled away. “Here? Why here?”

  “He is my brother. How could I not offer him my hospitality?”

  “And how do ye expect me to just accept my enemy?” He rose from the bed and started donning his clothes.

  Miriam sat up not believing that he would just leave her when every moment they spent together was precious. “Where are ye going?”

  “The mood is ruined.”

  Miriam wasn’t going to take that for an answer. She moved to the edge of the bed and reached for him. In doing so the blanket had fallen to expose her nakedness. He paused with his conviction.

  “Tremain, we have so few hours together. Do not leave, especially like this.”

  He growled obviously upset with his own self-control. “Ach! Ye undo me with yer comeliness.” He moved closer; his resolve to leave was weakening. She took advantage and brought her lips to his, leaning her taut breasts against him. The little intake of his breath was all she needed to know that he would stay. Already she could feel his body’s response to her touch. “And when do ye expect yer brother?” he grumbled against her ear as he nibbled it with tender kisses.

  “By the end of the week.” She kissed his neck then pause
d to look at him, her eyes large and hesitant. “Ye will do nothing to harm him?”

  Tremain remained silent.

  “I told ye this only so ye would not come here and be harmed by my brother’s men. So help me, Tremain, if ye so much as lay a hand on my brother….”

  “Stop.” He moved away. “Ye compromise me, Miriam, by telling me this.

  I owe my loyalty to Lord Fingham and yet…” He looked at her. “…I owe my heart to ye.”

  “Then follow yer heart.”

  “Dougray Fitzpatrick must pay for what he has done.”

  “Done? Surely ye do not still believe that he was responsible for Ella’s death? I understand loyalty to yer lord, but for ye to actually believe a grieving father’s unfounded accusations is simply ludicrous.”

  “He’s yer brother, Miriam. Of course ye would be blinded to the truth.” “Pheugh!” Her blue eyes sparked with anger. “I assure ye that I have all my faculties intact, thank ye very much. If my brother murdered Ella, I would not pretend that it was otherwise just to protect his hide. Dougray would have never harmed Ella. He adored her. It nearly devastated him when he lost her.” “It didn’t hurt his books. Rather he inherited a good sum from her dowry.” “How dare ye even suggest such a notion? Dougray did not care of the money. He would have never agreed to the meeting in the first place if it hadn’t been insisted that he marry the moment he stepped foot in Ireland again…. Clans and their suspicions…. When they were the ones who had him fostered in England. Then to prove his loyalties lie with Ireland they force him to marry a woman he had not seen since she was but a child. He was obedient though, wasn’t he? He did it and found that he was actually happy for it. Money be damned. Loyalty be damned. He married Ella because he loved her.”

  Tremain was not immune to what others had said about Dougray being grief stricken, but because of his own personal grudge against the Fitzpatricks, it was easier to believe the worse. “And of this new woman that he has taken to wed? Does he love her also?” “Oh if ye ask me, I would say he does.” “That is an odd answer.”

  “Well it is a unusual marriage to be sure. They are both pigheaded and determined not to let the other know of their true feeling for each other. They are equally matched in all respects.”

  He thought about what she said and there was some truth to it. Aislinn Fitzpatrick was indeed a strong brave woman. Her looks were a bit dark for his taste, but there was something that drew a man’s attention to her. She spoke fondly of Dougray, and she had given him the reason to seek out Miriam.

  As for Dougray, obviously he cared for Aislinn. He came to her rescue without a care to how he was endangering himself. He was brave, that much he had to give him, but there was more. He had also shown a sense of honor. Dougray could have run him through when he was left defenseless, but blast it, if he hadn’t just saluted him as he went on his way.

  “What are ye thinking, Tremain? I’m warning ye if anything happens to my brother while he’s visiting, we are through.” He grabbed her then tumbling her to the bed in one long and endearing kiss. She was surely swept away but not so much that she wouldn’t have an answer from him. “Give me yer word, Tremain.”

  He sighed deeply. “All right then. Ye have my word that I will not raise a sword to him.”

  “Or yer men.”

  “Aye, aye, already. It will be as if yer brother was not about. Is that good enough?”

  She threw her arms around him in answer.

  Chapter 69

  Miriam was a gracious host and had a lavish welcome awaiting her brother and his wife. Miriam knew that Aislinn had suffered physically, barely managing to survive a miscarriage, but she was still shocked over the woman’s appearance. It wasn’t that she had lost weight for that was quite obvious in the way her clothing hung on her. The shock was more in her behavior. She had marveled how Aislinn had held her own, even with the men. She had been strong in every way that a human being could possibly be, but this creature her brother had brought with him did not remotely resemble that person.

  Once she had her brother alone she could not stop herself from voicing her concern. “Dougray, what has happened to her? This is more than a normal case of melancholy. It is as if she is withering away.”

  He sat down wearily, a pained look on his face. “Ye don’t think I know this? I have tried but she refuses to let me in. That is why I have sent word for her uncle to meet with me.”

  “Ye hope that he will be of some help?”

  “I want Lord Aengus to reinstate his offer that she could return with him to the Hennessy keep.”

  Miriam’s mouth dropped. “I cannot believe what I am hearing. Ye are giving up?”

  “It would be for the best.”

  Miriam swatted her hand against his arm. Of course it didn’t hurt him but it most certainly did get his attention.

  “I do hope ye plan on explaining yerself.” His eyes glared at her for her daring to address him in such a manner.

  “I’d hit ye on the side of the head if that would give ye some sense. Did ye pack her bags as well?”

  “It is for the best, Miriam.”

  “Ye will be miserable if she is out of yer life. Remember, I have seen ye two together.”

  “Then ye know that we were at each other’s throats.” “Ye love her,” she insisted.

  He looked at his sister with misery so acute in the silver blue of his eyes that anguish tore at her own heart. “That is why I am letting her go.”

  “She wants this? She has told ye with her own words that she wishes the marriage to be annulled?”

  “She does not have to. It is obvious by her actions. She will not let me near her. She recoils from my touch. What else could I possibly think?”

  “She is hurting, Dougray. She lost a baby. Have ye forgotten? Ye had left her when she needed ye the most.”

  “Dar Dia, Miriam. Are ye going to be pointing out anymore of my faults?

  I already feel wretched enough.”

  “I am not trying to make ye feel worse. I was only trying to make ye see. Ye need to give her some time. Give ye both some time.”

  “Don’t ye understand? It’s over. When the Brehon asks if we will remain wed….”

  “That’s it, isn’t it?” she interrupted. “Ye are afraid that she will leave ye, so ye are doing the leaving first.”

  “That’s ridiculous. I just don’t see the point of prolonging the obvious.” “Ye have made up yer mind then?”

  “Aye. It is set.” The words fell easily from his mouth, but in his heart, he knew it would never be over. He would always care for Aislinn. His heart was hers, and wherever she went, she would be taking it with her.

  Aislinn moved around her room, familiarizing herself with what would be hers for the next few weeks. She immediately found herself in front of a wood-carved desk. She smiled knowing that Miriam had made sure it was well stocked with writing material. She had remembered her passion.

  The wood fire was already burning and there were warm fur blankets on the bed. She felt comfortable and even felt like she had renewed energy, something she had not had for quite a while. It was rather strange, but it was like a cloud had been lifted and even her thoughts were not so muddled.

  Her stomach growled and she smiled. She was actually hungry.

  Dougray walked into the room wearing one of his grim faces that immediately left her with an inexplicable feeling of emptiness. How she wished she could change the way he looked at her blaming her for all the pain they had endured, but she wasn’t the only one at fault.

  They had never truly discussed why she had gone to Neala for the herbs; therefore he didn’t know the reasons why she had never taken them. She was well aware that he felt she had betrayed him. But she hadn’t, not really, but he had refused to hear her out. All he knew was that she had brought into their home what could have prevented her from conceiving and he resented her for it. Their trust had been broken as surely as if she had taken the liquid.

  If thei
r baby had lived, he might have softened his heart and possibly even learned to forgive her. Now she wasn’t so sure. He was a proud man with a sense of honesty. His obligation forced him to care for her, but it would not force him to be her husband in every sense of the word.

  Dougray paused for a moment before approaching her, his eyes meeting hers. He noticed that her coloring was a bright, healthy shade making the dark circles around her eyes almost nonexistent. “Ye look like ye feel better.” It was an honest statement of surprise.

  “I do. I even have some of my energy back. Don’t know if I could wield a sword, but I could maybe give it a try.”

  Dougray’s eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch. She even sounded more like her old self. “Perhaps later.” He gave her a half smile before he removed his mantle and went over to the fire. “I have come to tell ye about the sleeping arrangements.” He glanced at her again. “My sister has informed me there are no more rooms to be had. She assumed we….” He hesitated to finish, but Aislinn was quick to realize what he was trying to say to her.

  “It would only seem logical that we would share a room. I don’t….”

  “I will sleep on the chair,” he hastened to finish. It was one thing to know that he wasn’t wanted but quite another to hear it voiced.

  Aislinn miserably looked away to hide her hurt feelings, a heaviness centering in her chest. She had hoped that maybe he might want to stay with her. She wished to feel his arms around her once again. She longed to hear his voice tell her that everything would be all right.

  Dougray watched her clasp her slender hands together and stare at them as though she could not bear the thought of him in the same room. He walked over to her giving her a way out of an awkward situation. “If my staying in here distresses ye, I will make do with the men.” She turned to him then.

  “No.” She touched his arm and they both felt the intimate shock of the touch. “I mean I don’t mind you staying here. Actually I would….”

  “What Aislinn?”

  “I would feel safe.” Their eyes met again.