Lost in the Mist of Time

by Karen Michelle Nutt

  “I am not sure I agree with ye, but I will abide by it.” “Thank ye. I am most grateful.”

  Dougray bid Aengus goodnight and headed toward the nursery to check on Declan. It was amazing how the little boy had worked his way into his heart. He partly owed that to Aislinn for she had made him actually find the time to know him. At first, he had only done so to please her, but soon he found that he really cared for the child, almost like…his own. He finished the thought. It was true. Declan MacKenna was like a son to him. He arrived at the door and let himself in. The lad was still awake to the nurse’s displeasure.

  “I will tend him.” He nodded to the nurse. She bowed quickly and left the room. Dougray walked over to the bed and sat down beside the wide-eyed child. “Now, Declan, ye shouldn’t distress the nurse so. It is late and ye should be fast asleep by now.”

  “Ye aren’t asleep,” he pointed out.

  “That is true but I am much older than ye are and a lad like ye needs his rest.” He helped lower the boy under the covers. “Ye want to grow up tall and strong, do ye not?”

  “Aye.”

  “Well if ye are to do so then ye need to listen to the nurse. She knows best.” “If ye say so, milord, but I have a feeling that she doesn’t know much at all. It’s just my opinion, ye know.”

  Dougray smiled. “Well ye be keeping that opinion to yerself now.” “I will do as ye say.”

  “That’s a good lad. Now I’ll say good night to ye.” “Milord?”

  “Aye?”

  “Did we bring A.J. here to make her happy again?” Declan rubbed his tired eyes.

  “I don’t know what will make her happy again, Declan.” He brushed the blond strands of hair that had fallen over his forehead and over one baby blue eye.

  “Maybe if ye gave her another baby, she would be happy. Ye could do that, couldn’t ye?”

  What could he say to a young boy that was only four, and didn’t quite grasp the whole situation? “She needs rest for now.”

  “She cries for another baby. Ye should think about it, aye?” He patted his arm. “That I will, young Declan.”

  “Ye know I could be her little boy until ye give her one of her own…if ye don’t mind.”

  He realized the child yearned for a mother, as much as Aislinn desired a baby to hold in her arms. “I think that Aislinn would like that very much.”

  Dougray headed back to his chambers to find that Aislinn was already in bed curled up on her side. Once Moira saw him enter, she walked over to him. “Will ye be needing me close by, milord?”

  “Nay, I will see to Lady Aislinn if she awakens. Ye get some rest, Moira.” She curtsied and was ready to leave.

  “Moira?” She turned to look at him. “Ye do love Teige, don’t ye? Because if ye do not wish to marry him, ye do not have to.” He would never be party to a forced marriage, when his had failed so miserably. It was high time someone changed the rules.

  She thought it odd that he would ask her this, but still she answered him with all honesty. “Milord, I want to be with Teige. He is a good man and I do love him. Ye will still give permission for us to be joined?”

  “I have already given it. I just wanted to make sure ye wanted it as well.” “Aye, milord, I do.” She paused for a moment then added, “It was kind of ye to ask.” Then she turned and left the room.

  Dougray sat down on the edge of the bed careful not to disturb Aislinn’s sleep. He rested his head on the palm of his hands, rubbing his tired eyes. Then he again turned his attention to his sleeping wife. “Who would ever believe, Scathach, that things between us would turn out so badly? I am sorry for it was never my intent.”

  Dougray had already been up and about for nearly two hours before he ran into his sister. She didn’t seem at all rested, and he couldn’t help but tease her about her appearance since he could well guess the reason. “Ye still do not look well, Miriam. If I didn’t know better I would have thought that ye had a late night visitor that kept ye up all night.” The look she gave him was classic. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped opened and her hand flew to her neck as though her throat was constricting. “Is something the matter?” How he ever managed to keep a straight face, he’ll never know.

  “Nay. It is that ye forever shock me, Dougray. However could ye think that yer own flesh and blood would….”

  “Calm down. I did not mean to offend ye so. I rather hoped that it were true. Ye could stand to have a nice young man take ye and use ye properly.” “Ye are the devil, aren’t ye?” She smiled wondering if her brother would think the same if he knew it was Tremain Butler whom she had entertained. “So I have been told.” He leaned over and gave his sister a quick kiss on

  the cheek. He looked up and saw that Aislinn had now entered the Great Hall. Their eyes met and he paused. Miriam turned to see who had captured her brother’s attention.

  “Ye should go to her, Dougray.”

  He wanted to, but he couldn’t bring himself to go forward. “I have to tend to the horses.”

  “We have stable boys for that.”

  “I want to see to my horse personally.” He nearly ran from her side forcing her to explain to Aislinn his quick departure.

  “Good day, my dear.” She saw the hurt expression that Aislinn wore before she could conceal it.

  “Good morning.”

  “He will be back soon.” “It doesn’t matter.” “Why do ye say this?”

  “He is sending me away, Miriam. He is sending me back to my uncle’s house. This marriage is over and now it is only a matter of formalities to make it official.”

  “Don’t say this. Surely it is not so.”

  “Oh, but it is. My uncle informed me just before I came in here that I will not be returning to Dunhaven.”

  “And that’s it? Ye are not going to fight? Ye have the right, ye know. Dunhaven is a much yer home as it is Dougray’s.”

  “I see no point. If Dougray wishes to have the marriage null and void, then I’ll let him have his wish. It was the way it was set up to be. Marriage for a year and a day and either party could call it quits.”

  “It is yer say also, is it not? If ye do not want it to end, ye must speak.”

  A part of her wanted to but she could see no reason why she should prolong the marriage when Dougray saw her as a disappointment. “No, I will not say a word.”

  “I can’t believe that ye will give up so easily and here ye were named the Scathach.”

  “I was never this mythical goddess everyone seems to think me.” “And obviously, ye have not earned the title.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Aislinn’s eyes flashed with anger.

  She continued her badgering hoping to get her to defend herself. “Well as I see it, ye are nothing more than a whimpering female. Not at all worthy to have yer name whispered with hers. Ye are acting like a dog with its tail between its legs, hiding in a dark corner hoping that no one sees ye.”

  “How dare you. You wish to ridicule me just because I have finally come to terms with what I must do. We should have never been married, Miriam.

  I don’t even belong here.”

  “Fate put ye both together. Ye cannot be telling me that ye do not see it.”

  “I don’t believe in fate.” She tried to turn away but Miriam would not let her.

  “Nay, ye will hear me out. Ye are both miserable, but ye can end it. Go to him, Aislinn. He does not want to cast ye from his side. I know this.” She gripped her arm and pleaded with her, hoping the woman would recognize the truth of the matter.

  “It’s over, Miriam.” She backed away from her. “It’s over.”

  Miriam knew where her brother would be and headed straight over to the stables. She was just about to walk in and give him a piece of her mind when she happened to overhear Murrough talking about seeing someone leave the castle. Every fiber in her being tensed and she leaned her back against the wall.

  “Ye are sure, Murrough? Ye could not be mistaken?”

  “It w
as Tremain Butler. He was stealing away like a thief in the night.” “He was alone?”

  “Most strange, I know, but I did not see another with him. I would have captured him had it not been that I was on foot at the time. The man had his mount hidden and was upon its back before I could reach him.”

  “I don’t like this. He was at the castle….” He heard a noise outside and he cautioned Murrough with a quick nod of his head toward the door. He carefully unsheathed his weapon and moved forward. He was out the stable door in an instant, the point of his sword at his sister’s throat. “What in the world are ye doing sneaking about?” He glowered at her before he lowered the weapon.

  “I was not sneaking around. These are my grounds, Dougray Fitzpatrick.

  I am allowed to go where I please.”

  Dougray studied his sister for a moment taking in her nervous behavior. “What is this about, Miriam? Ye are up to something.”

  “I am only here to speak with ye.” She looked over Dougray’s shoulder to see Murrough also was staring at her. She couldn’t let them find out Tremain was here to see her. She had known it had been too dangerous, but she couldn’t resist the man coming to her. “I need to speak to ye about Aislinn.” Dougray looked at Murrough. “A moment alone.” Murrough nodded and waited for Dougray at a distance to allow the two privacy. “Well?” “Why are ye sending her back to the Hennessy’s stronghold?”

  “It is for her safety.” “Safety? From what?”

  “It does not concern ye. Ye only need to know it is for Aislinn’s best interest.”

  “Not because ye tire of her?”

  “Dar Dia! Tire of her, nay, that is far from the truth of it.”

  “Why have ye not told her this? She thinks ye do not wish her to be at Dunhaven.”

  “It has to be this way for now. And ye, dear sister, will keep quiet. Not a word, Miriam, ye must promise me.”

  “I do not think that ye are correct in this matter. Ye may even live to regret the decision.”

  “Then that is how it will have to be. I cannot put her in danger. I have already done enough. I refuse to bury another wife. Now enough of this matter, I must speak to ye about security. We have seen one of Butler’s men lurking around the castle….” When Miriam’s face turned beet red, it all became crystal clear to him. “Dar Dia! He was here to see ye. Ye were lying in bed with the enemy.”

  “It’s Tremain, Dougray. He is not the enemy. I love him and he loves me.” “Are ye mad, lass? We are at war with the Butlers. He could murder ye in yer own bed.”

  “Ye are the one who is at war with them, I am not, and Tremain would never harm me. Never! I would stake my life on it.”

  “And ye may very well be doing just that. What have ye been telling him?” “Telling him?” She laughed without humor. “Ye may find this amusing, but we do not spend our precious moments together discussing ye.”

  “Ye are not to see him again, Miriam. I am warning ye. If I see the man here, I will personally run him through.”

  “Ye will do no such thing. Ye forget ye are a guest here at my home and I may entertain whomever I so please.” “Ye are but a woman.”

  “Stop it right there. I will not have ye throw my gender into this. Ye are not guardian over me. I run this household and I will not have ye dictate to me what I can and cannot do. Now if ye have a problem with whom I associate with, then ye may find lodging elsewhere. Really, Dougray, I would have expected more from ye. Tremain is obviously more of a man than ye are. He was good enough to give me his word that he would not start a problem while ye were visiting.”

  He laughed. He couldn’t help it. “His word and ye believed him?”

  She hit at him then, pounding her fist on his chest. “I believe him. Don’t ye proceed to tell me he is not speaking the truth.”

  He took hold of her arms to stop her assault “Just look at ye, defending a no good Butler.”

  “Ye were married to a Butler or did ye conveniently forget that Ella was from the very clan ye denounce?” That stopped him and he released her. “See, ye know I am right. Tremain and I were in love long before all this fighting took place, and before I was sold and wedded to the corpse of a man who had been my husband. I was only sixteen, Dougray, sixteen and full of life and dreams. Ye might as well have put me in a coffin and nailed it shut that day I took my vows. Can ye blame me for wanting more? Can ye blame me for loving the man who was only two years my senior? He was beautiful and strong. He made my heart weep with joy to be near him. I love him, Dougray.” She was sobbing now. It was not hard for him to recall the last time he had seen tears fall from his sister’s eyes. It was the day she was made to marry her husband. He hadn’t agreed then, but he had only been a youth himself and was being sent to England for fostering. There was nothing he could have done, but now he could right the wrong that was put upon them.

  “Do not cry.” He pulled her to him. “Ye have right to yer happiness.”

  She looked up to make sure she had heard him correctly. “Ye will not harm him?”

  “If he stays true to his word, I will not raise my sword to him.” “Thank ye, Dougray.” She hugged him.

  Chapter 70

  Aislinn dressed for dinner and her uncle was there, waiting for her when she descended the last step. “Ye look well, my dear.” He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on her forehead.

  She tried to smile but she wasn’t doing a very good job. “Thank you.” “All will work out in the end.” He looped his arm through hers and patted it gently. How much her uncle reminded her of her father, sending a wave of nostalgia to overwhelm her. She wished her parents were here. She missed them so very much. She even missed Connor trying to convince her to do something outrageously short of suicidal.

  “What are ye thinking about?”Aengus interrupted her thoughts

  “My family.” “Aah.”

  “You remind me so much of my father. Not so much how you look, but your mannerisms.”

  “I am aware that I am no substitute for yer father, but I am here for ye.”

  “I do appreciate your kindness.” Her vision caught sight of her husband coming toward them. How devilishly handsome he looked with his cobalt- colored tunic over a laced, linen shirt and mahogany breeks that fit snugly to his thighs. Good looking and honorable, all in one fine package. It was no wonder she lost her heart to him. When he finally cast her aside, there would be a void there that would never be filled again.

  The ill-starred look she had given him before she looked away caused a heaviness to center in his chest. “Are we ready to go?”

  “We are,” Hennessy answered though he would have liked to shake the two of them, giving them a good tongue lashing on top of it all. They were miserable from their own doing. Couldn’t they see what they had? He shook his head. Fools, he thought. Fools who just wasted love.

  On the way to Sir Raymond Halstead’s residence, her uncle purposely rode with Aislinn in the carriage to see if he could talk some sense into her. Dougray had one of his men take care of his mount for him so that he could return to his home, instead of riding back to Miriam’s. Aislinn had thought that Dougray would be joining them in the carriage, but he insisted in riding alongside with his men.

  Everyone from anywhere was there including many of the Chieftains of great importance. Dougray was at her side. When an older gentleman walked up to them, he graciously made the introductions. “Sir Richard Halstead, may I present Lady Aislinn Fitzpatrick of Dunhaven.”

  Aislinn was taller by a few inches and he had to look up to meet her steady gaze. He seemed to be assessing her worth before he chose to address her. “I have heard much about you, and all impressive, I might add. It is no wonder that my grandson has chosen you to wed.”

  “Grandson?” Her gaze shot to Dougray.

  The older gentleman chuckled. “I see he did not mention that I was his relation. Do not fret, young lady, I am most used to this treatment. Even now he wishes to pretend that he holds no Halstead blood.” He
turned to Dougray. “You are just as much a Halstead as you are a Fitzpatrick. You can’t escape who you are, my boy.”

  “Ye are mistaken. I have no doubt of who I am. ’Tis others who seem to want to mold me into something I do not wish to be.”

  His grandfather sighed. “I would have thought that you would have been grateful for the lands you were granted.”

  “If I had known it was all a bribe, I would have never accepted Dunhaven.” “No? And what would you have done? Your father left you nothing to call your own. Do you entertain for a moment that you would be living in your precious Ireland with tenants to care for your land and livestock if it hadn’t been for the graciousness of King Henry to see it so?”

  “As I see it, he was giving back what was rightfully mine. Dunhaven was in near ruins. The land was not harvested. Families were starving and scared. Nay, he did not grant me Dunhaven out of the graciousness of his heart. He gave it to me in hopes that I would fail, that I would hate the soil that gave me birth, so I would once again return to England to be paraded around like a prized beast.” Halstead frowned his annoyance, but still Dougray would not fall silent. “Don’t look so surprised. Did ye think that I did not know I was merely an experiment? That everyone wondered if the Irish heathen actually could speak? I showed them, didn’t I? Not only did I surpass all their expectations, I became a threat to them as well. Oh aye, I did understand it fully, ye know. Without me there, they could believe that only the horrible bad lived on the island not so far away. So when they slowly sucked it dry and left the people withering away, they would not have to worry their little consciences over it.” He finished his speech a little breathless. He knew some of his passion had been because he was aware of what the future held, and he didn’t like it. Because of Aislinn, he knew how Ireland would suffer, how they would all suffer. He was but one man and powerless to stop any of it from happening.

  “You have become fervent with your convictions, more so than I remembered. If you will excuse me, I will take my leave. I have no wish to ruin this young lady’s evening.”