The Queen of Sheba

by Jill Eileen Smith

  “But how can you marry him?” Fadia’s question interrupted my musings. I felt like a drunkard from so little sleep these past few nights. Was that what had caused me to give in so easily? But there was an attraction between us. Even I could not deny it.

  “He asked me, Fadia. I said yes. We can marry as equals because we are. I do not have a father to arrange such a thing or to ask permission of. That’s how I can marry him.” Her question annoyed me more than I thought it should. Why did it trouble me?

  “But . . .” She looked away, and I knew she would not speak again unless I prompted her.

  “But what?” I was too tired to stop myself. If she could give me good cause, could talk me out of doing something foolish, was it not wise to listen?

  “This is not a marriage, my queen. It is simply a man wanting a woman, and whether it is legal or not, you will be simply one of his loves. You will never have time to know him beyond these few months. What benefit is this to you?” She placed her hands on her hips as though she were my mother instead of my servant.

  But I did not reprimand her. Instead I forced my weak legs to stand and walked to the window. I looked out on the gardens awash in the pure pinks of dawn. This place was enchanting, beguiling, like its king, and I suddenly wondered why I had not seen it before.

  “I came seeking wisdom, Fadia. I wanted to hear Solomon speak, to see if he was as knowledgeable as they claimed.”

  “And you did.” She stepped closer, placed a hand on my shoulder. The touch comforted as it had in my youth. “But what more can Solomon truly give you? There is no guarantee the two of you will conceive an heir. Many women take years to bear, and you know as well as I that you cannot leave your kingdom for years.”

  I rested a hand on the windowsill. She was right. Of course she was. Solomon wanted me as he wanted all of his women, but despite his sacrifice of giving me up to my kingdom, it wasn’t enough. I could not be a distant wife or a concubine. Men would lose respect for me—especially those in my kingdom. And if I bore Solomon a son, Rehoboam could think him a rival for Solomon’s throne. That could bring war to our borders.

  I cupped the sides of my head, unable to stop a headache from throbbing against my temples.

  “Are you all right, my queen?” Fadia took my arm and led me to the couch, lifting my legs so I could lie prone. She called for water and more pillows and hurried to pull the blinds to darken the room.

  “Thank you, Fadia,” I whispered when all was quiet once more. “I fear the strain of these decisions has taken a toll.”

  “Completely understandable, my lady.” She placed a pillow beneath my feet and covered me with a thin blanket. “Rest for a while. I will make sure no one disturbs you.”

  I closed my eyes, wishing rest were possible.

  The next day my headache had fled, and I felt almost normal again. Hadi returned to my chambers, and we sent the servants, all but my own guards, from the guest rooms.

  “How can I help you, my queen?” Hadi lowered his head in a bow.

  “I am in a predicament,” I said, twisting the belt of my robe. Even now, despite the decision I had made in the night, I did not feel at peace.

  “I will do whatever you wish,” he said.

  “I wish I knew what that was.” I looked toward the door, then back at him. “I have agreed to marry Solomon at week’s end. It will buy us the trade agreement we seek and perhaps give me an heir.”

  He shifted from foot to foot and clasped his hands.

  “I don’t know if I can go through with it.”

  He studied me, something he rarely did. “You fear losing the trade agreement or the child?”

  “I have no guarantee of a child, and I cannot stay here long enough to beget one. But if I go now and refuse him, he could refuse to sign the agreement and we could face the burden of his ships on our shores.” This troubled me more now than it first did, and I wondered how I could so easily have put aside the wealth of our lands for the sake of a man I knew but a little.

  “We can defend our shores, my queen.”

  “Solomon has many ships and more troops than we do.”

  He looked at me for a lengthy breath. “You do not wish to marry him but you said yes?”

  “He is persuasive.”

  Again, he simply looked at me until I nearly squirmed. “You love him.”

  “I do not.”

  He smiled but quickly hid it. “You are at the very least attracted to him.”

  I nodded. That I could not deny.

  “If marriage to him changes nothing but gives us this agreement we came to seek, is there harm in it? You could wed him and leave at the end of the wedding week.”

  “I agreed to wait until there is a child and then stay three more months.”

  Hadi shook his head. “That is not wise, my queen. The kingdom cannot have you away so long.” He paced the room.

  I sat and stared at him, praying God would give him wisdom to give me, for I was not receiving it on my own. Surely there was wisdom in counselors—even if there was only one counselor I trusted here with me.

  “If you marry him and leave and have not conceived, then it is not the will of Solomon’s God for you to bear his child. We would have our trade agreement, and you can return home, adopt a child, and reign as you have been. No one need know of the marriage if it is done in secret.”

  “Solomon had suggested we keep it quiet.” I let Hadi’s words roll around in my thoughts. “I would not be guaranteed an heir.”

  “Life carries no guarantees, my lady. Even a child born to you may not live.”

  Thoughts of Azra filled my mind.

  “The trade agreement will ensure peace. Solomon will get something he wants from you and you will get something you want from him.”

  “I will feel like a pawn, like any other wife he owns.”

  “No other wife has the bargaining power you have. No other wife will return to rule a kingdom.”

  I sank back into the cushions. A trade agreement for love? Why not just purchase the agreement with the spices we had already given him? I should have insisted on it from the beginning, if I had not been so enamored with his wealth and his wisdom. But he had gifted me with much in return, so how could I possibly request such a thing when there was little but myself I could give him?

  A sigh worked through me. “You are right, Hadi. We cannot stay. And I must marry him to secure our wealth and safety.” Not that I thought Solomon would turn against my people, but I did not know him well. All monarchs could grow angry and spiteful at times. Even I had known such feelings.

  “Perhaps his God will look kindly on you, my lady. A week is sometimes time enough.” His smile told me he knew of what he spoke. But I could not imagine why Solomon’s God would favor me when everything within me said I was being foolish for the sake of attraction.

  The week flew past in a blur, but the closer the day came to our quiet ceremony, the more I questioned my own judgment. Solomon did not return to seek me out. In fact, the only time I saw him was in the banquet hall, where I sat at a different table with other dignitaries. Now and then I caught him looking my way, but his expression remained passive except for the twinkle in his eyes.

  My heart waged war within me during those days, and I could not understand why. I had been so thrilled with Solomon, with someone to confide in who faced similar trials and asked difficult riddles in response to my own. I had never met anyone like him. Why then did I feel jittery, like a bird longing to take flight?

  Fadia joined me one afternoon as we walked with guards surrounding us through Jerusalem’s streets. We would be leaving soon, and I wanted a taste of this city once more. Perhaps if I toured closer to King David’s part of the city, I would find some sort of peace with my decision.

  “I think I am making a mistake,” I said without looking at my maid, knowing she would hear me as she kept close to my side. “I don’t know how to fix it.”

  We wove our way through the narrow streets, avo
iding the crowded market square. I glanced at our guards, grateful for their presence, though I knew no harm would come to me here. Solomon would have hung anyone who harmed a visiting foreign ambassador or king. If his people did not know me by now in my royal garb and dark skin, they would today, as I made sure to dress as a queen lest anyone think me approachable. I wanted nothing to do with strangers, only the city itself with its limestone houses and beautiful gardens.

  “I wish I could give you some good advice,” Fadia said, stepping closer. I looked at her, saw her pinched mouth and the concern in her gaze. “Is there no way to get the king to give you the trade agreement without the marriage? Can you not offer him something else?”

  I shook my head. “What else? I am the only prize he favors, Fadia. To marry the virgin queen of Sheba—even with all of his magnanimous generosity—he would have something no other man on earth would have. Our people would no longer allow me to remain their queen.” The realization suddenly hit me full force.

  All along I had imagined that I could be different from the queens who had ruled before me. I had told myself that no one need know of this marriage, and if a child came of it, I would keep it secret and claim to adopt the child later. Of course, if it was a boy, the line of virgin queens would be in jeopardy.

  “I cannot do this.” I stopped midstride and faced Fadia. “We must return to the guest rooms and summon Hadi at once.” I started walking back the way we had come, all desire for one last look at the city gone.

  Hands clasped behind his back, Hadi stared at me as I paced.

  “I was wrong. Despite my attraction to Solomon, I cannot do this to our people. I cannot go against every tradition and law of Sheba’s queens, not even for love.”

  “But what of the trade agreement?” His words were quiet, but I heard them loud in my ears.

  I stopped to face him. “I will go to the ceremony and we will sign the agreement. We will dine together, and his priest can say whatever is said at his weddings, but then you must sneak in and take me away. Have the caravan ready outside the city, and we will leave before Solomon is aware of it.”

  Hadi looked at me as though I had lost my mind. “He has guards, my queen. They would follow us.”

  “I will slip some herbs into his drink. He will sleep. His guards can be bribed.” I did not question whether Solomon’s God would approve of such a plan. I only knew that I could not give myself to him for one night and never see him again. No, it was far better to remain as I was, adopt a child, and live my life apart from this, from him.

  “You are not thinking clearly, my queen. What if he destroys the agreement when he discovers your ruse? You would not have fulfilled your part of the bargain. He would hold it against us—against our kingdom.” Hadi’s dark brows nearly met above his wide nose. His thick arms strained the garment he wore, but he stood as he was, unmoving.

  I sank onto one of the couches, defeated. I would either lose my peace or lose my kingdom. I could not protect my people from an invasion of the wealth of our lands if I did not do this, and I had no heir to rule in my place once they discovered I was no longer fit to be their queen.

  I glanced at Hadi. In two days my life would change completely, and I had no power to stop it. Even if I tried to run, I would put everyone with me at risk of Solomon’s censure and possible retaliation. But would he really harm my kingdom or me if he loved me as he said he did?

  I closed my eyes. “You are right again as usual, Hadi. Nonetheless, prepare the camels for the journey home. We leave in two days.”

  Grace Note

  When I look back at this time in my life, I wonder if I truly did make the right choice. Even age does not always bring wisdom, not the type Solomon’s God had given to him. How I longed to have that same blessing! But I told myself that it was enough to have heard Solomon speak, and even more important to have come to know his God. My people, the ones who had accompanied me on this journey, were coming to see the truth of the law of the God of Solomon. The rest of those in our land . . . I considered that it would take time for such change to occur in their thinking. After all, not even Hadi had embraced Solomon’s God immediately, not until we were home many months and he had heard the law read to him.

  It was a grace to me that Solomon handed my servants three copies of the entire law of Moses, all precisely copied from the originals in his possession. They are a treasure I will value above every other jewel or gift he gave me.

  In the end, I think questioning my choice does little good. If it cannot be changed, what will I accomplish by dwelling on what might have been? I will say that I am grateful to have made this journey, to have had my questions answered, to have met Solomon. I will never forget him, no matter the outcome.

  11

  The morning of my wedding dawned too quickly. I allowed Solomon’s maids to treat me to special baths and ointments and cosmetics until my skin fairly glowed. I was used to such treatments, of course, but never with the anticipation of what awaited me this night. My initial fears had subsided, and I had convinced myself that I would either talk Solomon out of consummating our union or keep the secret from my people. I saw no other way to protect our lands.

  I will admit, I had still not decided which one of these two options I wanted more, for my heart betrayed me at every turn. Solomon had been to visit me the night before, and this time when he kissed me, I was not sure I could ever leave him. I found my tongue too loose, and I definitely said more than I should have.

  “I’m leaving for Sheba the day after tomorrow,” I’d said after his breathy kiss nearly pulled all strength from me.

  He backed away a step, looking me up and down. “That was not our agreement.” I could see in his eyes that he knew I spoke truth. He was not happy.

  “Not originally, no.” I crossed my arms over my chest, protecting my heart. “But I cannot stay away from my people any longer. I came for a trade agreement and to hear your wisdom—”

  “And to test me with difficult questions.”

  I smiled. “That too.”

  “So you have gotten all that you came for, and now you will leave me.” There was hurt in his tone.

  “I have not yet secured our trade agreement.” I looked at him, watching, waiting.

  “You would like this agreement without the marriage. So you no longer desire love?” He took a step closer. I felt his breath against my cheek.

  “I did not say that.”

  “You did not have to. I can see it in your eyes.” He stroked his beard a moment, then touched my forehead. “What are you afraid of, Nicaula?”

  I looked at him, felt his fingers slowly cupping my cheek, saw the intimate longing in his dark, probing eyes. My limbs turned to liquid, useless to prevent his soft caress. “I am afraid of losing my kingdom for the price of securing fair trade. I have nothing to give you that you do not already have. You—me—we are in a dilemma I cannot sort out, and I know that when I return, if the truth is exposed that I am no longer their virgin queen, I will lose my crown.”

  I spoke the words honestly, without flinching, all the while losing myself to the way his arms came around me and he held me against his beating heart. We stood there for many moments, neither of us speaking.

  “I will sign the trade agreement,” he said at last. “You do not have to marry me.”

  I leaned back, searching his face. “You mean it.”

  “I would not say so if I didn’t.”

  “What gain is there to you then?” He would give me all I asked with nothing in return?

  “The knowledge that I helped you achieve your desire. If this is your desire, then that is what I will give.” His smile was sad. “But I will admit, I wish the dilemma was not so hard for you. I would give you the love of family. And if I am perfectly honest, I would keep you with me to rule at my side.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I fear I am in love with you, Nicaula. But sometimes love is not enough. Sometimes one must let go of those they love.”

 
; “You would do that for me?” No one had ever done something so sacrificial for me, and I had a hard time believing him.

  “Yes.” He intertwined his hand with mine. “If that is what you want.”

  The memory of that conversation surfaced now as I waited for the evening ceremony. In the end, I could not refuse him because I could not deny my own desire. It was unseemly for me to accept all from him and offer nothing in return. I could not ask him to give to me freely.

  The wedding would take place in only a few hours. I told myself I was ready.

  The small audience hall in Solomon’s palace could not compare to the one in his judgment hall, where he dispensed wisdom and tried cases. It was more like an antechamber or a small banquet room, where a canopy had been raised in the center and a few of his servants stood as attendants. A priest in the garb of white tunic and breastplate of jewels stood before a table where the marriage papers and the trade agreement lay side by side. A small bowl of soft clay sat between them.

  Solomon lifted his hand, removed his signet ring, dipped it into the clay, and placed his seal on the trade agreement. I followed his pattern and did the same. We looked at each other a moment.

  “There is no need to continue, Nicaula,” Solomon said as a servant rolled the parchment and more seals were placed along the folds. The trade agreement was secure. He had seen to it first. I did not have to sign the marriage papers.

  “I will listen to the words read,” I said softly, turning to face the priest. The marriage agreement secured my right to rule and ensured that any child I might bear would remain mine alone. And Solomon relinquished all parental and marital rights to me.

  As the last words were said, I felt a stirring in my middle. I felt ill at the farce this marriage would be. I sounded like a selfish child, demanding that all rights remain mine, giving him nothing but my body for one night. I placed a hand to my stomach and faced Solomon once more.