Feeling the Moment

by Belden, P. J.

  “You are a very beautiful girl,” he said as he ran his hand down my arm.

  Taking my hand, he placed it on his hardened penis. Slowly moving my hand up and down, I choked out, “I’ve never done this before.”

  “I’ll be gentle. You can have whatever you want if you used the right assets,” he spoke softly as he leaned down kissing my neck…

  Mr. Rainer was my first. He was very kind to me. In fact, I stayed at his house for about a week where we had sex a lot. It was consensual. I never once thought I was being forced. Never even felt threatened. The first time hurt a lot, but the times after that were good. He told me to always make sure when giving my body to other men that I have them use a condom. I did. I made sure every countless guy that I gave my body to wore a condom.

  Mr. Rainer let me stay with him for a week. It was when his wife came home from her vacation that I had to leave. He found me a couple more times after that, but I haven’t heard from him in years.

  It was because of him that I was able to survive the streets. He gave me a tool that I never realized I possessed. The sickening thought would be the amount of men that I’ve slept with since then.

  I later found out that Mr. Rainer had been arrested, convicted and later died in jail for taking another young girl home to his house. That was when disgust really started to eat at me. It had always been there, but it wasn’t until I heard about his arrest that it started to really haunt me. At the time of everything, I felt nothing wrong. Then when I saw how society viewed me, my actions, it changed.

  At night I’d relive each and every moment, like some kind of montage of my mistakes, of letting a man have my body. All their noises, their stench, their words, all of it would play over and over again. But most of all was when they called me a dirty, greedy, whore.

  I was a whore. There was no other way to describe how I was. I had sex in exchange for something, payment for allowing them to have my body.

  Breaking through the trees, I find another beach. Staring out, stunned, at the ocean expanse in front of me. Spinning around when I heard a snap behind me. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

  “You… You listened to me,” I whispered.

  “Of course I did,” he says as if he didn’t understand. Then something changed in his eyes. “I didn’t ask for this vacation just for sex, Kim.”

  I snorted. “Sure you didn’t.”

  “Really, I didn’t. I thought no distractions, just us, was a great way to really get to know each other. Yes, I hoped for it, but it was never in the plans. I just want to get to know you.”

  “Well, you know me now. Nothing more than a whore,” I threw my hands out to the side as I sighed.

  River moved surprisingly quickly toward me. “You are not a whore. The thought never even crossed my mind. You are an amazingly strong woman who needs someone to show her exactly how incredible she really is. I plan to show you just that.”

  Looking up into his eyes, I lost the volume and strength in my voice. “Why? Why would you care, especially after what I just told you? You should be telling me to pack up and get the hell away from you.”

  “I don’t know all of what you’ve been through, but Kim,” he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me quickly. “You’re more than a past. You’re a woman with so much to offer the world, but you hide away. When I first saw you walk into my hospital room, I was immediately pulled to you. That’s something that’s never happened before. So, to me, you’re special and I’d like to figure out how special.”

  “I’ve never met anyone like you River. Everyone, from when I was eight until now, has turned away from me. You should too. It’ll be safer that way.”

  Leaning down closer to my mouth, I can feel his breath dance across my lips. “I’ve never been one to take the safer route.”

  His mouth comes down on mine and I waited for him to move it to the next level, but he didn’t. The kiss stayed romantic, maybe even meaningful. What did it mean? I don’t know. After a few moments, the kiss broke. Walking away from him, I walk to the water’s edge.

  I could feel his eyes as they bore into my back telling me that he was unsure of my behavior. No matter how much I wanted to stand back in his arms, everything was consuming me.

  Feeling so raw and weak, I broke down. River pulled me quickly into his arms and tried to comfort me. What River didn’t see was that it hurt me more when he showed he cared. Knowing the end was coming soon, I held him tight. The end would be far sooner than I want it to be. My body shook from each sob that ripped through my body.

  “Kim, please talk to me.”

  “I… can’t…”

  “Why not?”

  Instead of answering him, I just shook my head against his chest. At this moment, I just couldn’t put into words why I was breaking down. This vacation was about enjoying not crying.

  Looking up at him, I forced a smile on my face. “This isn’t what the vacation is about.”

  “This is exactly what this vacation is about. It’s about getting to know each other. I’m not going to force you to tell me though, but I hope you will sometime. So in effort to make that smile a real one, what would you like to do?”

  “Well, there’s a boat at the dock. Can we go out on it?”

  “That depends, will you keep this sexy bikini on, no shorts?”

  “That depends, will you be going shirtless?”

  “I will if you will,” he laughs.

  “Deal,” I grin.

  We walk back up to the house. He changes into swim trunks and I change out of my shorts. Soon we are heading out the front door toward the dock. Once on the boat, he circled what turned out to be an island, a private island. Then he drove out to the middle of nowhere, water surrounding us and barely being able to see the island and shut off the boat.

  “Wow! This is a view I’ll never be able to forget.”

  River walked up behind me, pressing kisses across my shoulder. “Mmm, me either. Do you know what I’ve thought about since getting on this boat?”

  Tilting my head to the side, I sighed as his mouth worked up my neck. “What,” I breathe shakily.

  “Making love to you in this boat, on the water,” he whispered softly as he untied my top letting it fall to the floor of the boat.

  His hands came up, brushing small circle over my nipples. Reaching my hands up and around his neck, I moan.

  “Mmm, let me hear you beautiful,” he whispered huskily into my ear.

  My fingers threaded into his hair as I moaned rubbing my ass against his erection, getting an answering moan. Soon we were both naked and I knelt down at his feet, devouring his cock like it was a popsicle on a hot day.

  “Fuck, I need you,” he panted as he pulled from my mouth.

  Standing, I placed my hands on the back of the seat, tossed my hair over my shoulder and looked back at him.

  “Take me then,” I brazenly whispered.

  “Damn,” he breathed walking over to me. “You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen,” he said as he grabbed my hips and pushed into me hard and fast.

  Tossing my head back, I cried out at the exquisite feeling that seemed to course through me whenever he was deep inside me like he was now. No doubt about it, this man knew exactly how to make me feel incredible. His hand cups my throat pulling me up, turning my head, he claims my lips just as he claimed the rest of my body. His thrusts pick up as he releases my mouth, growling.

  “Shit! Yes!” He grunted as he fucked me hard.

  After a while I could feel myself building. It was strong, intense, and burning hot within me. Gripping the chair in front of me, I forced my hips back as he thrust forward. We continued this hard passionate rhythm until it was all I could take. Dropping my head before throwing it back and calling out his name as the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had hit me like a freight train.

  After a few more hard thrusts, River was following me into bliss. Bliss it was too. Heavenly. Damn! If this was all we did for two weeks, it would be the best damn
vacation ever.

  Chapter Six

  Waking up, the stars overhead twinkled beautifully. Looking up, I see a smiling River, who slowly stroked my hair. Yawning, I stretched out my sore body. Two rounds of boat sex really wore on the muscles.

  “How long have I been asleep?”

  “About a half hour. Is there a moment you are ever not beautiful?”

  “I can name several,” I retorted as I sat up.

  “Well I haven’t seen one moment yet,” he continued to smile down at me.

  I shivered a little as the cool breeze carried across my bare skin. “Yeah well you haven’t seen me in the morning. All this hair is not a beautiful thing in the morning.”

  “You’re wrong, I have too. It was also the first look at that incredible ass of yours,” he winks.

  “Shut up,” I say blushing.

  “Let’s get back to the house. We both need sleep.”

  “Mmmm, I like the sound of that.”

  We get back to the cottage, kick our shoes off at the door and walk down to the bedroom. The whole time River has kept his arm around me. Once we arrived in the bedroom, he leaned down and kissed me.

  “Do you still want to sleep in a different room?” He asks after breaking from the kiss.

  Our faces mere centimeters from each other, I brushed my lips across his. “No, I want to be with you,” I whispered.

  “Good,” he says softly before claiming my lips again.

  Slowly, we strip each other down then climb into bed. Leaning in, I began to press kiss after kiss to his chest. He moaned as I moved my hand down to his thigh.

  “Sweetheart, believe me I want to, but you haven’t slept much. Let’s get a good night’s sleep.” When I start to pout, he laughs. “I’ll make it up to you,” he said as he kissed my nose.

  Yawning, “Fine, but you’re lucky I’m tired.”

  Rolling over, I made myself comfortable, burrowing deep under the blanket and into the pillow. Just before I fell asleep, I could hear River talking to me, but none of the words registered. All the late nights and no sleep, all hit me and I was out like a light.

  Waking the next morning was a dream. As I fully came out of my sleep fog, the incredible feeling of being filled by River greeted me. He was pressing kisses and nibbling across my shoulder.

  “Now this is a great way to wake up,” I moan as I lean back into him, lifting my leg to his thigh.

  “I couldn’t wait, too much sexy to ignore.”

  Turning my head, his mouth claimed mine. The feel of him sliding in and out of me, amping up every nerve in my body was the best alarm in the world. River’s hand that held my hip moved down to tease and taunt my hardened, sensitive nub. Reaching behind his head, I pull him back down to me for a kiss.

  Soon we had a good rhythm going. Blankets were tossed as sweat beaded our skin. River’s finger circled my nub quickly and I was soon falling over the edge. River slammed into me one more time, grunted and groaned as he hit his release.

  River wrapped me in his arms and buried his face in my neck as we worked to bring our breathing under control.

  “Hmmm, I’d say you’ve made it up to me,” I panted.

  River laughed into my neck. “I’m glad you think so.”

  “Oh, I do,” I laughed. “Is it time for bed yet?”

  “I don’t want to move yet. Let’s just stay here like this for a while.”

  Rolling over, I snuggle into him more. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tried to think of nothing but River. He was really close. Maybe too close for comfort. It scared me how close he has gotten. All these years, I’ve built these thick walls up, no one has ever been able to get passed them. Yet, in such a short time, here River was, so far past the wall that I fear I may not be the same when he’s gone.

  “Please tell me I won’t regret this,” I mumble into his chest.

  His arms tighten around me, pulling me even further into his chest. As he talked, I could feel his voice vibrating through his chest against my forehead.

  “I don’t know what happened in your past, but I can tell you that hurting you has not even crossed my mind. Saying that though, I can’t tell you what is going on between us because it’s all new to me too.”

  Leaning my head back, I look up at him. The feelings that are fighting within me are causing me to be on edge. Some of these I’ve never felt, or received for that matter. Suddenly, I’m bombarded by them all with no rhyme or reason as to why I’m suddenly feeling them now. What made River so special?

  “I’ve been through hell, River. A few years ago, I promised myself that I’d never open myself up to another or give them my body. Now here I have done both, but worse than that…” I trailed off as I realized exactly how deep River has wormed his way into my life… my heart.

  “Look at me,” River whispered. When I looked back up at him, he pressed a tender kiss to my lips. “Let’s just live in these two weeks, taking each day as it comes. Okay? Forget about everything, but us on this island. What do you say?”

  Knowing I can forget about everything, but him. I’ve been doing it since I met him. I smiled at him. “Sounds great, better than that actually.”

  “Damn,” he breathed. “Your smile… Remind me to put that on your face as often as I can.”

  Laughing, I kissed him. “So what’s on the agenda today?”

  “Well, we are kind of on our own here. What would you like to do?”

  Lifting myself up on my elbows, “I know,” I grinned. “Can we go build sand castles and have a day at the beach?” I grinned bigger. “I always wanted that growing up.”

  “If it makes you smile like this, I’ll do anything.”

  Jumping out of bed so excited, I ran into the closet to check for my swimsuit. Coming out dressed in only that, I looked at River on the bed. My heart swelled in my chest.

  “I’ll go make breakfast while you get ready,” I say, practically skipping out of the room.

  We ate breakfast then headed out toward the docks. River was putting more and more weight on his leg with each passing day. I remember the doctor saying it was at his pace, but to not overdo it.

  We laid towels out on the dock, sat and dipped our feet into the water. Leaning into him, I rest my head on his shoulder. I loved being close to him. When he touched me, held me, was just plain near me, I’ve never felt more alive, more human.

  “So you know what I do for work? What do you do for work?”

  “I work at a company that designs and sells security packages.”

  “As in home security?” I asked looking up at him, but not removing my head from his shoulder.

  “That’s the big portion of it. There are different departments that handle different aspects of security; housing, business, personal, pets and so on.”

  “Oh wow, that’s awesome. What area do you work in?”

  “I, uh, actually own the company,” he says almost sounding nervous.

  “Wow, that must be so gratifying to know that you’re responsible for making people feel safer. Maybe I should have you come by my apartment and give me an estimate there.”

  He laughed. “I’ve been meaning to ask you why you got that apartment. That neighborhood was just named highest crime rate in the city. Have you considered moving?”

  “Why? I lived on the streets until I was able to purchase that apartment. There’s nothing that neighborhood can throw at me that I haven’t seen before or been through. I’m not afraid to live there, just afraid to lose the first of my belongings.”

  “I’ll gladly come by your house to help you feel more secure there.” He reaches up and tenderly touches my face. “I don’t want anything happening to you.” Leaning down, River takes my mouth with his.

  Lowering me back onto my towel, he rolled on top of me as he deepened the kiss. Just as I thought I was going to get another taste of this man, he rolls off me. Sitting up on my elbows, I look down at him.

  “Beach day,” he panted.

  “Screw bea
ch day,” I said as I stripped off my bikini top, tossing it up on shore.

  My bottoms quickly followed and I quickly straddled him. He stared up at me with lust in his eyes. The intensity in his eyes had my breathing increasing and my heart racing.

  “You sure you still want beach day?” I asked as I grinded my hips into him and played with my nipples.

  River reached up with his hands and I anticipated him going to my breasts, but instead cupped my neck and pulled me down to him.

  Our mouths brushing lightly over the other’s, he whispered, “I want whatever is going to make you happy. You’re happiness means a lot to me.”

  Groaning as he lifted his hips into me, I breathed, “Then take me right here, right now, like there’s no tomorrow. Ravage me, River.”

  Seconds later, he pulled himself free, slamming into me. The fact that he still wanted me so bad, even after knowing the kind of person I was, made me feel lighter. Things seemed less dark.

  We made love and I forgot everything. Every time we made love was better than the last. River knew what he was doing and knew how to make sure I felt good.

  “Oh fuck me,” I moaned without meaning too.

  “Shit,” he groaned and his thrusts picked up. “That’s sexy.”

  Soon we were both falling over the edge together. Collapsing onto his chest, our breathing erratic. The best feeling in the world was feeling his arms wrap around me and hold me tightly against him. It was more than feeling wanted. I felt needed.

  “Best beach day ever,” I mumbled.

  River started laughing. His laughter rumbled beneath my cheek and shook my body. River’s laugh was contagious. Soon I found myself laughing with him. Pulling ourselves together, we dress and look back out over the water.

  “So what would you like to do for your beach day?”

  Thinking for a minute, “Oooo, can we build those sand castles now?”

  He laughed as he got to his feet. “I haven’t built one since I was a kid, but we’ll see if I still remember how.” He smiled down at me as he extended his hand to help me stand.