Freedom to Trust [Freedom, Colorado 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Melody Snow Monroe

  Finally Garth was ready. On the way out, he grabbed his keys. “I’m driving.”

  “Why?” They always took his car, as it was newer and more comfortable.

  “You’re too upset.”

  That was true, but he could still drive. Now wasn’t the time to argue with his brother. He climbed in the passenger seat of Garth’s truck. “Be ready for some heavy arguing.”

  Garth started the engine, looked over at him, and smiled. “She’s not pissed at me.”

  “Something is really bothering her and I aim to find out.” Could it really be as simple as she didn’t think she’d make a good sub? If so, he’d set her straight.

  Garth took the dirt road to the main drive too fast and Zane had to hold on to the overhead handle. “Get me there in one piece, please.”

  His brother slowed slightly. “Call Ashley to see if she still has Mark. That might tell us something about Nikki’s frame of mind.”

  “Good thinking.” Maybe he shouldn’t be driving.

  The idea of Nikki being upset messed with his mind. Had the fire not been such a bitch to control, he would have insisted they leave the fight to the others. Unfortunately, before they could finish the fire ring, the wind picked up and the flames spread. Not even the water dump from the planes had contained it. Bringing out the sky jell-o was the last resort. Good thing the chemical dump had worked. The damage covered around thirty acres, but it could have been a lot worse.

  Nikki’s car sat in her drive when they pulled up and her lights were blazing. He didn’t know why, but he was pleased she was home and not with Dani or Holly. No telling if they’d fill her head with nonsense or not.

  Zane jetted out of the car and ran up the steps. He rang the bell and shifted from foot to foot, waiting for her to answer. Garth cut off the engine and walked up the steps.

  “Knock,” his brother offered.

  He didn’t see the difference, but he knocked then peeked in the living room. Her coat and purse were on the sofa, but she wasn’t in the front part of her house.

  “Why isn’t she answering?”

  Garth stepped up to the door and fisted the wood three times. “Sugar. It’s me, Garth. Open up.”

  When she didn’t answer, worry encased his gut. “You think something’s wrong?”

  “I’ll run around back and peek in her bedroom. Maybe she fell asleep.”

  “Good thinking.” He was glad his brother was with him.

  As Garth traipsed down the steps and took off around back, Zane checked the window again, looking for anything out of place. Maybe she had cried herself to sleep. His gut churned. No. Not Nikki. She was tough. Surely, she’d figure out that if they didn’t show, there was a good reason. What bothered him was that Ashley said Nikki hadn’t called her.

  Garth came back. “Bedroom’s empty.”

  “That leaves only one other place—the bathroom.”

  “Is the door unlocked?”

  “I hope so.” He tested it anyway. “Damn, woman.” It was open. “A former cop should know better, especially with Marr still on the loose.” He led them in.

  “Let’s hope she doesn’t get pissed for us entering.”

  Zane huffed out a laugh. “You mean more pissed.” He walked down the hallway. “Nikki, where are you?” He wanted to give her ample warning they were there.

  Garth pushed open Mark’s bedroom door, but it was dark inside. They stepped to Nikki’s bedroom door and knocked. When she didn’t answer, Zane stepped inside. The bathroom door sat ajar and the light was on.

  He held up a hand. The slight hum was Nikki singing. His cock turned hard instantly as he pictured her naked in the tub. Maybe this night would turn out better than he’d hoped.

  Chapter Twenty

  After a half hour in the bath, Nikki’s muscles had finally relaxed. Her anger had cooled mostly because she wasn’t quite sure who she was madder at. Was it that the men hadn’t called her to let her know they wouldn’t be at the restaurant, or was it at herself for realizing she could never have a relationship with a man who wanted to dominate her?

  What caused her to open her eyes at that moment, she didn’t know, but finding two sets of grinning faces wasn’t what she expected. She jackknifed up and slammed a hand to her chest. Her pulse raced.

  She ripped out the earplugs. “What are you doing here?” Nikki gulped in air to catch her breath.

  Zane stepped forward and crouched down in front of the tub. She covered her breasts with one hand and her pussy with the other. Stupid, yes, but the reaction was instinctive.

  “We came to apologize. We rang the bell and knocked. When you didn’t answer, I became worried something happened to you.”

  His chin quivered and her heart softened. “I was listening to my music.” Even now, the sound was pouring out of the plugs. She turned off her iPod.

  Garth moved toward her. “We’ll wait in the living room for you to finish.” He cocked a brow. “Unless you’d like us to help you dry off.”

  Her body screamed yes, but she had to end this now. “I’ll do the honors myself.”

  Garth’s face lost color and her heart broke. Leaving them was going to be harder than she ever imagined, but it was best for all.

  Liar.

  As soon as the men headed back into the living room, she got out of the tub and drained the water. Drying quickly, she checked the mirror. Her eye makeup was a little smudged and her eyes were red from crying, but that couldn’t be helped.

  She dashed into her room and pulled open her lingerie drawer. Her hand touched an old, white bra and leopard skin undies. They didn’t match, but she didn’t care.

  Yes, you do.

  “Fine.” She stepped over to the bed and donned the sexy set she had on before, but she refused to put on the cute top and heels she’d worn to the restaurant.

  After she slipped into comfortable jeans and a sweatshirt, she padded barefoot down the hallway. She probably should ask if they wanted something to drink, but she’d had enough wine for the night.

  Zane sat on the sofa and Garth on one of the two chairs. She took the other chair and didn’t miss Zane’s wince.

  Zane leaned forward. “There was a bad fire on the North Ridge. I had no cell phone service to call.”

  Her heart hitched. Nothing of this sort had happened since she’d met them. Then Ashley’s words came back to her. The first time Nikki had spotted the twins, Ashley told her about the dangers of their job. She inhaled and while they’d clearly showered, there was a hint of smoke on their clothing.

  “I didn’t know.” Here she’d sat at the bar and grill thinking she’d been stood up. “Is everything contained?”

  “Finally. Took us hours.” He told her about spotting the smoke and calling the fire chief. “From there I was working on pure adrenaline. When I got to the end of the road, I pulled out my phone to call and cancel our date, but I had no service.”

  “Why didn’t you call when you got home?”

  Zane glanced at Garth. “We did, but you didn’t pick up. I figured you were too pissed to talk with us.”

  Oh, shit. “I shut off my phone. Sorry.”

  Zane patted the sofa, indicating he wanted her to sit next to him. She couldn’t. Her limbs shook. Tell them.

  She twisted her fingers in a knot. “Look, we need to talk.”

  Both men focused their gaze on her. “We’d like that, sugar. We know something’s been bothering you. Tell us so we can help.”

  It wasn’t Garth she had an issue with. “I don’t think this is going to work.” She waved her hand in a circle to imply all three of them.

  Zane jumped up and pulled her to a stand. His brows pinched and his grip was strong. “You can’t mean that.” He glanced over at Garth. “We love you, babe.”

  Did he really? She steeled her heart. It didn’t matter. She pulled out of his tight grasp and sat down. Zane loomed over her then finally sat back on the sofa.

  “You wouldn’t after a while.”

  Z
ane’s toe tapped. “Why would you say that?” The concern was laced with what sounded like fear.

  “Don’t you remember how I freaked when you held me down?”

  “I let go right away, and I apologized. I never thought you’d react that way or I wouldn’t have held you in the first place.”

  “That’s my point. You’re a Dom. I’ll never be a submissive.”

  The angst in his face evaporated and he leaned back. “Oh, really? Tell me what you think a Dom wants.”

  She’d never articulated her thoughts before. “Men who are Doms like to dominate.”

  “That’s a cop out. Be more specific.”

  He should know, but because it seemed important to him she answer, she tried. “Men, like you, get off on tying down a woman and spanking her. You want someone who will do whatever you say.”

  “Oh, babe, you couldn’t be more wrong.”

  She stilled. How could she be wrong? She’d read books. “That’s not what Dani said.” She lifted her chin. Though to be honest, Dani only mentioned that she loved being spanked and tied up.

  “I’m disappointed to hear that, but not all Doms are the same.”

  He was trying to twist her words. “Is that so?”

  Garth spoke up. “Did you like making love with me?”

  “Yes. You were wonderful in bed.” Garth smiled.

  Zane sat up straighter. “Babe, can you honestly tell me that you faked all those climaxes?”

  He knew that wasn’t true. “No, but—”

  “There are no buts about it. Why do you think I held you down?”

  “Because it let you feel powerful.”

  Zane dragged his hands through his hair. “I did it because I thought you desired it.”

  “Maybe every woman you’d been with does, but not me.”

  Garth got up from his seat and came over to the side of the chair. He knelt down, dropped back on his heels, and held her hand. It was the sweetest thing he could have done. “Tell us what made you so skittish.”

  Dani knew the story, but no one else did. The men deserved to know. Remembering the event still upset her. She swallowed hard and then inhaled to calm her racing heart. “There was this terrible man who’d raped and abused six women in Denver. I was on a task force to find him and take him down. My partner and I had split up earlier in the day, for some dumb reason I can’t recall, and I was to search one part of town, he another. We weren’t to do anything if we found him. This was mostly to find out where he wasn’t hiding and eliminate that location from future searches. As I was scouring one of the warehouse districts, I looked in the window and spotted him.” Her body shook retelling the story

  “You didn’t try to take him down, did you?” Garth squeezed her hand, his voice sounding raw.

  “No. I radioed my partner to come to my location so we could go in together. Unfortunately, the ass snuck up behind me and coldcocked me.” She was still embarrassed at being caught off guard.

  “Oh, sugar. My gut’s on fire thinking about something like that happening to you.”

  Zane scurried over to her and sat on the edge of the chair. She should have felt closed in, but their presence actually comforted her.

  Zane rubbed her shoulder. “You don’t have to tell us the rest if you don’t want to. We can use our imagination.”

  She shook her head. She needed to let it out. “He didn’t rape me if that’s what you’re thinking, but if my partner hadn’t brought reinforcements, the man might have.”

  Garth looked up at her. “He tied you down, right?”

  She nodded. “He put duct tape over my mouth and bound my hands and feet together. I’d never felt so powerless in my life. I thought I was going to die.”

  A tear leaked out and Zane wiped it away. He pulled her close. “I hope your partner got that bastard.”

  Mr. Protector would have that attitude. “Yes. Four cops stormed the place. Gunfire erupted. In the end, the rapist died, along with two of his men but not before he punched me in the jaw.” She rubbed her chin feeling the phantom pain once more. “The other two were taken into custody.”

  “I’m so glad you’re not a cop anymore. I don’t think I could sleep if you had that job.”

  She glanced at him. “You sound like my dad.”

  Zane tapped her nose. “He’s a wise man.”

  “I agree.”

  Zane stood and held out his hand. “Come sit with me on the sofa.”

  To avoid craning her neck to look up at him, she agreed. Garth sat on one side, Zane on the other.

  Zane clasped her hand. “Let me just state that I am terribly sorry that happened to you. Hell, I’d have been scared to death if I’d been in your position. I think you are one of the bravest women I’ve ever known, babe.”

  Her chief had called her stupid. “Thank you.”

  “Secondly, neither Garth nor I are rapists.”

  Now he was being ridiculous. “I never said you were.” Though he might think she believed that. For those few seconds when he had held her down, Zane’s face had turned into that man’s face.

  “Oh, God.”

  They both leaned over. “What?”

  “I thought I’d gotten over that event. Maybe I did think you wanted to harm me. I know that’s not true, but I panicked.”

  Zane drew her into his arms. It felt right to be there. “Shh. It’s okay.”

  She shivered and cuddled closer. He held her tight and kissed the top of her head. “Let me tell you something about myself and why I like being a Dom.”

  She sat up so she could study him. “Why?”

  “Because I believe it’s the best way to please a woman.”

  That was not what she’d heard about Doms. “How so?”

  “Doms pride themselves on reading their woman’s body language and find out what turns her on. Personally, I try to sense your mood so I can figure out what will make your climax stronger and better than the time before.” He dipped his head. “But I failed, and for that I will never forgive myself.”

  She grabbed his hand. “It wasn’t your fault. I never told you about what happened to me.” A wave of depression slammed into her. He shouldn’t blame himself, but that didn’t diminish the fact she might never be able to enjoy the capture part of BDSM.

  “Yes, it is. I try to understand your moods, listen to the way your body moves, and then decide what you’d like.”

  She understood he was trying to shift the issue from her shoulders to his and she loved him more for it. “Don’t deny that you like to spank a woman.”

  “I do only because of the joy it brings.”

  She leaned back and looked over at Garth. “You don’t seem to need that.”

  He shrugged. “I’m not as good as Zane at sensing a woman’s needs. That’s why we like to share. But between the two of us, I think we do okay.”

  Zane squeezed her hand. “Listen to me. If you think my love is diminished because I can’t blindfold you, you’re wrong. I truly believe that if you learn to trust us, which might take years, you’ll beg us to spank you and tie you up.”

  She laughed and the sensation bolstered her spirits. “So, if I only want vanilla sex for life, you’re good?”

  “Absolutely, but don’t think for a moment that we won’t push you out of your comfort zone. It’s what we do. We’ll never ever do something against your wishes, though. I think I proved that when I stopped the last time.”

  He had responded immediately and with total understanding. Maybe her fears had been based on that one incident—an incident she needed to bury. “You really love me?”

  Both men leaned closer. Garth tilted her head toward him. “I would give my life to show you just how much.” His eyelids half lowered and his mouth opened.

  He kissed her with such tenderness that her body exploded with desire and her pussy gushed. She leaned back. “You have a deal.” She smiled and held up her hand. “Just don’t die at the end.”

  His laughter soaked into her skin.
What had she been thinking? Being with these two would be the best decision of her life.

  Zane jumped up from the sofa and lifted her in his arms. She admired a man with such strength. He practically ran with her down the hallway.

  She giggled. “There’s no fire to put out.”

  “You don’t know what’s happening in my pants.”

  He nudged open the door and halted. “I think when you move into our house, we’ll have to hire a maid.”

  The words “move in” and “maid” sealed their fate. She wanted them forever.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Sorry about the mess, but I didn’t expect you.” Now Nikki was a little embarrassed that she hadn’t picked up.

  “I don’t care, babe. I was kidding about the maid. Hell, the bed could be missing and I’d still find a way to savor your luscious body.” Zane placed her on the unmade bed that was full of her clothes.

  She wanted to prove to them that she truly understood Zane’s Dom lifestyle and the motivations behind their actions. The problem now was that if she ever begged to be spanked or blindfolded, they wouldn’t believe her.

  She sat up. “How about you boys come over here and take off my clothes. I’m quite hot.” She purposefully emphasized the last word, hoping they’d get the double entendre.

  “You just have to ask, babe.”

  Zane was the first to arrive. She was barefoot, which made undressing her easier. This time Garth took the lower half and Zane the top. She only had on four pieces of clothing. The sweatshirt and jeans disappeared in a heartbeat.

  Garth’s eyes glistened. “Mmm. You are amazing, babe. I kept fighting that fire and digging that ditch faster and faster, knowing the sooner we got those damned flames under control, the sooner I could sink my cock in your pussy.”

  Then she had to go mess it up by telling them they couldn’t be together. Thank God, they’d made her see reason. Now, she hoped they could move forward. She nodded to her bra and panties. “Please take them off. I hate when things don’t match.”

  Garth crawled closer and licked his lips. “My pleasure. My cock’s so hard I’m not sure I can last long enough to impale you.” He winked.