Mandodari

by Manini J Anandani

  When it came to sages and rishis, Dashaanan didn’t have a good history with most of them. During their adolescence, Dashaanan and his siblings suffered constant mockery and condemnation at the hands of Brahmin sages who didn’t consider the half-daitya siblings eligible to read and learn from Vedic texts meant only for Brahmins. Later their father Vishrava, upon seeing the thirst for knowledge and aptitude of his children, reminded the Brahmins that children primarily acquired the caste of their father and hence his half-daitya children had full rights to their education. However, in the interim, Dashaanan had grown hateful towards the sages. And this hatred grew even more when the Brahmins and other wise men started a civil war to abolish the rights of the daityas.

  Dashaanan and his siblings were taught mainly by their father. Education and knowledge empowered them. They learnt advanced skills that even the most learned sages failed to master. And then Dashaanan began to eradicate most of the sages to prove his valour. Rumours went around that he would store the blood of the sages he killed in a large pot.

  No matter how bad Dashaanan and his siblings’ history had been with sages and Brahmins, we had to serve them if they were housed as our guests. I briefed the attendants and the guards of the palace regarding our guest. As informed by Mata Kaikesi, Rishi Gritsamada desired complete peace and silence during his stay. The guards announced my entry into the shanti bhavan premises and I went inside to welcome him.

  ‘Oh, divine rishi, I welcome you. Accept my warm greetings. I am Mandodari.’

  ‘Mandodari, the daughter of Mayasura and the queen of Lanka!’ he said, turning towards me.

  It had been a long time since someone had addressed me by my father’s name. I was reminded of my second identity besides being Ravana’s wife.

  Rishi Gritsamada was not as old as I had imagined. He was tall, had a fair complexion and a muscular body. He wore beads of rudraksha around his arms and neck.

  ‘You don’t need an introduction. People in Lanka have been kind to me. I thank you for letting me stay here. I am performing some rites and needed to halt for a few days,’ he said.

  ‘Please don’t thank me, oh great sage. We are truly honoured by your visit. Must you need anything with regards to your accommodation, feel free to ask.’

  He smiled at me. ‘That is very noble of you. I didn’t imagine the queen of proud Lankeshwar to be so kind.’

  ‘If I may ask you, oh rishi muni, what kind of rites are you performing?’

  ‘I am surprised you asked, your majesty. Lankeshwar and his brothers are known for their tough tapasya and my little experiment may not really interest you.’

  ‘It’s all right if you do not wish to tell me. I shall take your leave now. The guards have been briefed about your privacy.’

  ‘Is it true that Lankeshwar stores the blood of sages in a large pot as a mark of his revenge against them? Have you seen it?’ he asked as I turned to leave.

  I didn’t know how to answer the question. Certainly he must have heard of Dashaanan’s dispute with the sages and the story of their blood being stored.

  ‘Ah, well, I am not sure about that. I haven’t seen any large pot filled with blood in the palace.’

  ‘Yes, you have. That pot is housed in the veranda of this palace. I saw it while passing through the inner corridors. That is the area where Lankeshwar practices archery, I was told,’ he added.

  ‘Well, I’ve seen the pot but I haven’t seen what it contains. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I am needed at the court.’

  ‘Sure, your majesty, I don’t intend to keep you. I would need a similar large pot for my tapasya. Is that possible?’ asked the sage.

  ‘Yes, I will ask someone to arrange one for you. Have a comfortable stay,’ I said and quickly left before I could be asked more uncomfortable questions.

  EIGHT

  Dashaanan was expected to return with his new wife. I did all that was asked of me. I arranged for an accommodation, servants, trousseau and a feast. The courtiers announced the sighting of Dashaanan’s vimana and everyone gathered to welcome him with his new wife. Sarama willingly took the responsibility of performing the necessary rituals. She knew I would never have the heart to welcome another woman to share my husband. I wanted to make an exit as soon as possible.

  We waited for the vimana to descend and as it landed, the crowd started cheering loudly. The guards stepped out, followed by Dashaanan with his ministers, and then came the much-awaited new wife of my husband. I avoided looking at her face; I am not sure whether it was out of anxiety or jealousy. Dashaanan introduced his new wife to Mata Kaikesi and Nanashri. Then they turned towards me, and I looked from Dashaanan to the woman who was accompanying him. She was smiling, graceful and poised; she bowed in respect.

  No matter how jilted or hurt I felt, I couldn’t let another woman bear the brunt of my husband’s misdoings.

  ‘I welcome you to our kingdom,’ I said with a heavy heart. ‘Bhabhi Sarama will escort you to your chambers.’

  She caught my hands in hers and said, ‘Thank you for accepting me. I have heard a lot about you.’ Dressed in fine satin robes, she also wore a tiara as a symbol of her royal identity. She was fair; her hair was black and fell straight down to her hips. I simply smiled at her and gestured Sarama to take over.

  ‘Welcome to Lanka. What is your name?’ asked Sarama.

  ‘Bhabhi Sarama, she is as white as milk, sprightly like a doe in the wild forest. She is attractive and it’s not easy to take your eyes off of her pretty face. I have named her Nayanadini,’ announced Dashaanan and everyone applauded for the newlyweds.

  ‘Very well said! I now seek your permission to escort Nayanadini to her chambers,’ said Sarama and for a moment I wasn’t sure if I was needed. I walked towards the palace thinking if I was really required anywhere that day. I couldn’t speak to Dashaanan as Nanashri and the other ministers had surrounded him. Mata Kaikesi was not someone I wanted to be with at this time and nor was I required at court.

  I found a quiet spot in a garden near Dashaanan’s palace and waited for him to return. I wanted to apologize to him for my behaviour. More than that, I was lonely and I only wanted to speak to him for some time.

  ‘Looking for company, Rani Mandodari?’ I turned to a familiar tone that I didn’t find very pleasing.

  ‘Is there something you need, rishi muni?’ I asked.

  ‘Nothing, but I think you are in dire need of good company. You seem very displeased today. Is your husband the reason for your apprehensions?’ said Gritsamada.

  ‘This is coming from a sage who barely knows me or this kingdom. You are our guest, rishi muni. I expect you will maintain etiquette in order for us to respect you,’ I answered.

  ‘I meant no offence. Don’t take me wrong here but I know your father very well. I had seen you several times at Mayarastra before you were married. We haven’t met but you seem like a changed person.’

  ‘Well, of course, I have changed, from being a girl to a woman. You must have seen me but you definitely don’t know me.’

  ‘And what will I not know, Mandodari? You are not good at hiding things, are you? It is very obvious that you do not approve of your husband’s other marriages and his relations with other women disturb you. You married an overambitious man who doesn’t care for your presence in his kingdom any more.’

  ‘Mind your words, rishi; this may cost you your life!’ I objected.

  ‘Cost me my life, Mandodari? For speaking the truth or will the great Ravana spare no opportunity to slay one more sage for his ego?’

  ‘Listen carefully, rishi, I may not approve of my husband’s affairs but I cannot bear any uncouth sage saying accusing words against my husband!’ Saying so, I walked out.

  I avoided the feast that evening. I stayed in my palace as I didn’t want anyone to gauge my disapproval of Dashaanan’s actions. If an outsider like Gritsamada could create so much unrest in my mind, I feared the other ladies would start gossiping about me too.

  Since a
lmost everyone was at the feast, I decided to spend some time with the dasis who served me. I heard their grievances with their mothers-in-law, heard amusing tales about their children, different rumours about the ladies at the antapura and their problems related to their husbands.

  In the middle of one such session, the guard stationed outside announced Dashaanan’s arrival. My dasis dispersed and I waited to welcome him inside. I kept a polite face; avoiding any topics that had annoyed Dashaanan the last time he had come to see me.

  ‘Welcome, my lord. I am surprised to see you here. Isn’t the feast still in progress?’

  ‘And I expected to see you there and not here.’

  ‘Pardon my absence, Lankeshwar. I thought it was your wedding night with your new wife and the celebration was in her honour. I didn’t want to outshine her, or to make her feel uncomfortable in any way,’ I explained.

  Dashaanan grinned and I knew he wasn’t buying my excuse. ‘You are well aware that the feast is a celebration of Lanka’s new peace treaty with its new ally. And yes, the princess from that alliance is a part of it. Why would you outshine her? You are the queen of this kingdom and it’s imperative that you understand your duties. An alliance with this kingdom is an alliance with you. No matter if you have to see that ally as a woman wedded to your husband.’

  ‘You know I can’t do that. It’s not easy for me to see any other woman standing beside you.’

  ‘Very well, then, I am asking you to stand strong beside me. Other women may come and go, I want you to believe that your place is secure in my heart as well as in my kingdom.’

  ‘It is still difficult to share you, Lankesh. No matter how hard I try, I still fail.’

  ‘You know I have more than a hundred other women in the antapura to share my bed with. Nayanadini is just another one among them. What makes you sulk like this over another woman?’

  ‘Because she is your wife, Lankesh! You are married to her and that’s a sacred bond to me. You made that bond with me first and I am not ready to share it again. I have unwillingly accepted it so far and I am not sure if my self-esteem can take it any more.’

  ‘Of course, I cannot stop, Mandodari. I have to do whatever is in the best interest of Lanka. Think like a queen and not just a wife. Because if you don’t, I might fail. I want you to stand with me.’

  ‘I will try again, my lord. My love for you is more than anything else. I will not let you fail.’

  We spent the entire night together. I slept in the arms of the man I loved so much, hoping to rid myself of all the repulsive thoughts of losing him to someone else.

  When I woke up in the morning, I saw Dashaanan lying next to me on my bed, staring at me affectionately. I soon became aware of the events of the previous night; it would have been unfair to the newly married princess that Dashaanan remained absent on their first night together. She would have waited for him at the feast and later in their room.

  ‘This doesn’t feel like you, my lord. Waking up early in the morning, before me, and making me feel like I have kept you waiting,’ I teased him.

  ‘You sure did keep me waiting and I need to be duly compensated.’ Saying so, he pulled me into his arms. It felt like old times again.

  ‘My lord, the princess would be waiting for you since last night. I hope we haven’t infuriated anyone with our actions.’

  ‘And why do you care so much about her now?’ asked Dashaanan playfully.

  ‘I don’t intend to take away her post-marital rights, or she’ll turn into a rival.’

  ‘Anyone from the antapura you consider as your rival?’

  ‘Not that I recall, my lord. Dhanyamalini is younger but a lot more mature when it comes to these matters. This one, my lord, there’s something not right about her. She doesn’t look very friendly.’

  Dashaanan laughed out loud. ‘That is the most amusing thing I have heard in my entire life.’

  ‘If you wish, my lord, I can narrate more amusing incidents about other women staying at the antapura,’ I tried to tease him.

  ‘I don’t wish to talk about anyone else, Mandodari. Do you know what I really wish for? I wish to have children with you. First, I want a girl—as beautiful as you, as considerate as you, as poised as you.’

  ‘I did not know you longed for a daughter, my lord.’

  ‘I want a daughter with you, Mandodari. I am known to be a rakshasa who didn’t hesitate for a minute before killing the Brahmins. I am known to be egoistic, selfish and proud. I am known as a womanizer, full of lust and greed. But my daughter, she will be my pride. I will win the world for her. I will fulfil all her dreams. I will care for her, protect her from every evil.’

  I was overjoyed to see how Dashaanan talked about having a daughter. No one could have imagined this side of him, not even I. The thought of having children delighted me. We’d been married for over a year now and it was probably the right time to think of having children of our own.

  Breaking my chain of thoughts, Dashaanan intruded, ‘Mandodari, what are you thinking about? What do you suggest we name our children?’

  ‘But, my lord, I should excuse myself as I need to see Mata Kaikesi today.’

  ‘You can meet her later. Be here with me today.’

  ‘If it weren’t necessary, I would have delayed meeting her. But it is concerning a guest staying with us and Mata Kaikesi wants us to treat him with great respect.’

  ‘Who is this guest? Mata Kaikesi didn’t mention him to me.’

  ‘It’s been a few days since Rishi Gritsamada has been housed as a guest in the silent chambers of your palace. I am surprised that you haven’t been informed about it yet.’

  ‘You know I am not very fond of such guests. And why will my kingdom serve Brahmins when they have always treated me like a half-caste bastard? They ill-treated my mother too. How can she allow him to stay with us without my permission?’

  ‘The rishi belongs to the saptarishi clan and Mother wants to be a good host since he is travelling through our kingdom,’ I clarified. But Dashaanan seemed annoyed by the news.

  ‘If mother wishes to be a host to him, she may do that on her own account. Why has he been staying in the palaces of Lanka? And you being the queen of this empire, why do you attend to him personally?’ he sounded angry and got up to leave.

  ‘No, my lord, I wasn’t attending to him personally. I was simply following Mata Kaikesi’s orders.’

  ‘You can’t take orders from Mata Kaikesi!’ Dashaanan yelled. ‘Should I remind you again, Mandodari, that you are a queen? Unless you have some personal attachment with that sage . . .’

  ‘My lord, please do not say such things! I was simply following her directions,’ I interrupted.

  ‘In that case, you will follow my directions from now on and I command you to ask him to leave.’

  ‘But it would look very inhospitable if we ask him to leave so suddenly. He is on a tapasya and we cannot ask him to abandon everything.’

  ‘I want him out. Now! I cannot bear any sage living on my land,’ he declared and left my chambers. I was astonished to see so much rage in Dashaanan for Rishi Gritsamada.

  Following Dashaanan’s orders, I went to meet rishi Gritsamada to tell him that we could no longer accommodate him and that we would help him set off on a voyage to his next destination where he could continue his tapasya.

  Gritsamada was meditating when I entered. He was seated in the centre of the veranda, facing the huge identical pot that he had demanded from us. He was chanting a mantra with his eyes closed. Sensing another presence in the room, he opened his eyes.

  ‘I regret to disturb you, rishi muni, but there is something I need to talk to you about.’

  ‘The reason I requested a quiet place is because I wanted to avoid any hindrance in my tapasya. It is not easy to attain silence here, I guess. The guards keep doing rounds; the maids keep coming in.’

  ‘I expect you to understand that this is the king’s palace, which is why it’s so busy throughout the day, but w
e didn’t intend to disturb you. Now you won’t have anything more to complain about as I have come to arrange for your voyage to your next destination. You can continue with your tapasya there,’ I declared.

  ‘So, do you want me to leave . . . or . . . does Lankesh want me to leave?’

  I chose not to respond to his question, further insisting, ‘I will ensure that you are being served well on your way and that you do not face any discomfort.’

  The sage smiled, ‘Rani Mandodari, I am a hermit, a sage, and I don’t require any luxurious service that you offer. I understand my ways and words have not been pleasing because what’s in my heart is on my tongue. However, I want to complete my tapasya before I leave this place and head anywhere else. The siddhi I wish to attain cannot be achieved if I switch places. I ask your permission to let me stay here for just a few more days.’

  ‘Pardon me, but that is not possible. And what kind of siddhi is restricted to a particular place?’

  ‘I am practising penance to invoke Goddess Lakshmi.’ He pointed towards the large pot and explained: ‘This large pot here contains my experiment. Filled with milk and grass, purified with mantras, Goddess Lakshmi will dwell in it. I will implant a living cell from this pot into a woman’s womb. I will bring her up as my daughter and she will restore balance on earth. I cannot uncover the contents of this pot as any exposure will turn it into poison. Thus, I request you to extend my stay for a few more weeks, allow me to complete this experiment and attain my siddhi.’

  I was unable to object further. Gritsamada looked into my eyes with a lot of expectation. He was discourteous but he was honest and sincere towards his penance.

  ‘I cannot promise anything to you now, but I will try to speak to Lankeshwar regarding the extension.’