Heart of Steele

by Randi Alexander

  “Wow. Ain’t this a nice greeting.” He picked her up and turned her in a circle. “It’s good having you here.”

  They kissed, slow and gentle, tasting each other, teasing with their tongues, and nibbling gently at each other’s mouths. Between their bodies, his cock hardened and pressed against her.

  When they were both breathless, they broke apart and stared at each other.

  “I’d like nothing more than to take you back to my bed, but...”

  She nodded, cooling herself, ignoring the urgency in her belly. “I know. How’s your dad?” She led him back to her room.

  As she changed, he talked about the tests the doctors had performed, but had still found nothing. His dad had been moved to a regular room, but was making noise about going home. The doctor wanted a few more tests so Angus was stuck there another night.

  Together they created a big breakfast of eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and toast, and sat at the table sipping dark, rich coffee. “And your sister?” Tracy guided the discussion toward his brother.

  “She’s good. She and...she’s going to be with Dad today. I’ll go in tonight for a few hours, just to keep him settled down.”

  Tracy waited, eating slowly, but he went on to a different topic. Once they’d finished their late breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen, he opened the door, letting in a warm breeze. “I want to show you the ranch.”

  She slipped into her shoes and walked out with him. An all-terrain vehicle sat where the red truck had been earlier—the truck he’d sent back to Ryder.

  Steele got on the ATV and held out his hand to her. “My gas-powered horse.”

  She slid on behind him and wrapped her arms around him. “Where’s your truck?”

  “What?” He looked toward the garage.

  “The red one we rode in yesterday.”

  “Oh. I borrowed that from a friend. Sent it back with a ranch hand.” He started the motor, and that was the end of the conversation.

  Maybe he was waiting until later to sit and talk to her about Ryder. The tour of the ranch took three hours. He showed her every barn, each building, the vegetable garden, the orchard, the chickens, turkeys, and cows.

  They stopped on a ridge overlooking the buildings, and he shut off the motor. Sitting sideways on the seat, he pulled her onto his lap. “Dad wanted us to be more self-sufficient, so he put in the dairy building and hired a crew to milk the cows, make cheese, milk, sour cream and ice cream for the entire operation.”

  She’d seen the ranch hands’ dining hall and the bunk house. “That has to save you a lot of money.”

  “Yeah, it does. We’d thought he’d gone nuts at first, but it turns out Dad’s a smart old coot.” He blinked a few times. “The chickens lay eggs and the old hens get eaten, we get a turkey dinner once a month, and you’ve never tasted anything like the sour cream that comes out of those cows.”

  She laughed at his excitement. “I’m partial to ice cream. Got any in the freezer?”

  He kissed her. “Sugar, we’ve got a freezer full in the pantry. You name your flavor, it’s probably in there.”

  “What about the rangeland?”

  “We’ve got a few hundred thousand acres, and it abuts a state park, so we get a lot of wildlife.” He winked at her. “Freezer’s full of game meat, if you’re interested in trying something...wild tonight.”

  At his dark look, a burst of lust shimmied through her, but she kept it light. “If you know how to cook it, I’m up for trying it.”

  He kissed her. “I like that about you. You’re up for an adventure, as long as I do all the work.”

  She smacked his arm. “You’re just lazy.”

  “I am.” He threaded his fingers through her hair and kissed her, thoroughly and with the hunger she loved provoking in him. “One more stop and we can head back to the house.”

  “Okay.” She climbed on back and they drove about fifteen minutes to a beautiful spot in a green valley.

  He cut the engine and swung his leg over the ATV, helping her up. “This is where I want to build.”

  “Let me guess, a pulp plant so you don’t have to buy any paper goods?”

  “Hmm.” He scratched his jaw. “That’s not such a bad idea.” He winked. “But no. I want to build a house here.” His voice went deadly serious.

  She could barely tear her gaze away from the look in his eyes. Turning in a circle, she surveyed the beautiful spot, imagining a big house with lots of outdoor space, and maybe a pool. “It’s lovely.” She didn’t dare pretend she was the woman of the house. The dream was just too seductive.

  He came up behind her and pulled her back against his chest. “It’ll be long and low, no steps, all on one level. Less dangerous for kids.” He pointed to the right. “A garage for the cars, a barn next to it for horses and ponies.” He kissed her neck. “A playground, someday. Can you picture it?”

  She nodded. The evocative images made her crave a future here. LA was alive and exciting, but this would be a real life. A real family.

  “I’ve got plans.” His voice held excitement.

  She sighed. “Yes, you do.”

  He chuckled. “No, I mean I worked with an architect to draw up plans for it.” He turned her toward him and ducked his head to look at her. “All I have to do is give him the go-ahead, and we can start building.”

  Her mouth went dry. What was he asking her? This was all very lovely, but far too soon.

  “Want to see them?” His eyes sparkled.

  She relaxed when he didn’t do anything crazy like get down on one knee. “Yes, I’d love to.”

  They raced back to the house, Tracy laughing and hanging on as they flew over bumps and down into gullies.

  They settled on deer meat for supper. He took a big roast out of the freezer, they seasoned the hell out of it, and tossed it in a roasting pan with vegetables, onions, garlic, and chopped potatoes.

  Once it was in the oven, he took her into the living room. The doors on either side of the television led to offices. One was Angus’, the other Steele’s.

  She wandered around his office, looking at the beautiful wildlife paintings hung on the dark wood paneled walls. His desk was the size of a small car, and the chairs traditional leather wingbacks.

  He spread the blueprints on his desk, anchoring the corners with rocks.

  “You must look at these quite often.” She leaned in next to him.

  “Too often.” He pointed to the first paper. “This is the setup from the top.” He detailed each room’s function and the relation to the rest of the house. When he’d finished, she could easily picture herself living in the home.

  “What do you think?”

  She ran her fingertips over the paper. “I absolutely love it. The big windows and use of tall spaces. It’s as spectacular as your cabin.”

  He wrapped his arm around her waist. “Glad you like it.”

  “Could I make one suggestion?”

  Smiling, he nodded. “I’d have been disappointed if you hadn’t.”

  She suggested a slight adjustment in the kitchen. He asked about a few other things, and they worked out a few changes, a few additions, but he didn’t go for her joking idea to completely scrap his man cave.

  The timer went off in the kitchen, and they headed in for supper. When they’d filled plates and wine glasses and sat at the table, he placed a crock of sour cream between them.

  She scooped some on her plate and used her fork to taste it. Her eyes widened. “You weren’t kidding. This is the best I’ve ever tasted.”

  He ladled another dollop on her plate. “You’ll want to have it on everything, now. You’re as addicted as I am.”

  She was. Addicted to him and the life she envisioned with him.

  An hour later, they sat in the living room with bowls of ice cream and coffee. Her selections included maple nut, chocolate peanut butter swirl, and mint chocolate chip. He had a giant bowl of vanilla swimming in chocolate syrup. Such a complex man; simple tastes in some things,
expensive in others, like the French champagne and gourmet appetizers he stocked on his jet.

  They talked about the ranch, about the history of his family, and about Val’s kids, but despite her leading questions, he never brought up Ryder.

  When the topic turned to his dad, she made one more try. “Did you ever find out what upset your dad yesterday? Val said he was on the phone with someone, and became very agitated.”

  He shrugged. “Something is always riling that guy up. It’s the Scottish in him.”

  “Who was he talking to?”

  He locked gazes with her, narrowing his eyes.

  She casually licked the ice cream off her spoon and blinked at him.

  “I can ask him when I see him tonight.” His voice sounded a little angry.

  “No, don’t upset him, please.” She set down her bowl. “Whoever it was, it had to be important to get him that worked up.” She turned to face him and set her hand on his thigh. Mentally, she begged him to tell her.

  “You know how parents are.” He watched her intently.

  “I do.” Pink splotches dotted her cheeks.

  “Did you get in touch with your mother?”

  “We talked this morning.”

  He lifted a brow.

  Had he heard her talking on the phone? “Nothing new.”

  His jaw tensed. “Okay.” Steele checked his watch. “Speaking of parents, I should get going.” He stood. “Here’s the remote if you want to watch TV. If you need anything, pick up any house phone and dial eleven to talk to the ranch foreman, Sam. I’ll be back after Dad falls asleep, so it could get late.” He leaned down for a kiss. “I’ll meet you in bed.”

  She nodded and swallowed back the pain that choked her throat. “Please tell him I’m praying for him.”

  He smoothed her hair. “Thank you, Tracy. That’ll mean a lot to him. And it means a lot to me.” He gave her a soft smile then walked away. The sound of him pulling on his boots came from the kitchen, then the door opened and closed, and he was gone.

  He wasn’t going to tell her. She’d given him every opportunity, but he still kept Ryder a secret. Flopping sideways on the couch, she rested her head on her bent arm. He bottled up all his feelings then let them burst out in angry torrents. He didn’t trust her enough to tell her about his brother. He had issues with his family that he couldn’t get past because he shoved everything in a closet and slammed the door shut.

  She couldn’t be with him anymore. Not like he was, and he didn’t show signs of wanting to change.

  Closing her eyes, she let the pain wash over her. She had to get away quickly, especially with Angus coming home the next day. Meeting the man who sired Steele would be a trauma to her heart. She needed to book a flight, arrange for transportation to the airport, and rent a car in Great Falls.

  She couldn’t move, though. It overwhelmed her to have to say goodbye to him. Tears started leaking from her eyes. “Oh hell, Steele. Why don’t you trust me enough to confide in me?” Rubbing her eyes with her fingers, she sat up. She hadn’t confided in him, either, so she couldn’t lay all the blame on him. “No. It’s just too soon for us to trust each other, and with all the shit both of us have going on, we never had a chance.”

  She stood and picked up their bowls and cups. Her ice cream had melted into gooey pools. She trudged into the kitchen and washed it down the sink. What a waste. The delicious ice cream, the feelings Steele evoked in her heart. Gone, replaced with disappointment. Would she ever completely heal?

  Chapter Nineteen

  Halfway to town in one of the ranch trucks, Steele still couldn’t figure out why Tracy’s questions seemed so out of place. As if she was interviewing him, or testing him somehow. Did she know something? Had Val let something slip?

  He’d asked her about her mother, and she’d admitted talking to her as if it was a sin. He’d heard part of the conversation this morning. He couldn’t figure out what was happening, but evidently someone they knew was getting out of prison. Her brother? Her ex-boyfriend? Her current boyfriend? Was there an ex-husband out there?

  Was it even her mother she was talking to?

  He looked down to find the speedometer reading ninety-three. He pulled his foot off the gas pedal. “Fuck.” he was lucky he hadn’t gone right off the road, or worse, gotten stopped for excessive speed. That’d look good in the tabloids.

  He brought his thoughts back to the reality of the situation. He’d heard her talking to someone who she said was her mother. He could accept that. But the conversation made very little sense. It was her private business, he wasn’t entitled to know what was going on in her life, but it would have been good if she’d volunteered the information, especially since she’d promised to fly to Montana in a day or two.

  “Shit.” Just like he hadn’t volunteered a goddamn thing about Ryder? Even with all the opportunities to say something like, “yeah, that was Ryder’s truck. Ryder Landry. And oh, just in case you’re interested, he’s my illegitimate half-brother.”

  Sounded easy now, but to her face, it would have been like removing his own kidney with a rusty spoon.

  It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, but the situation had been out of control for so long, he didn’t know where he was standing right now. So how the hell could he explain it to her? Possibly after Dad came home. After Ryder started showing up at the ranch to see him. He’d feel his way through his relationship with his brother, with Val, and with Dad before he blurted it all out to Tracy. Possibly.

  “Or, you could have Ryder shanghaied and indentured on a slow boat around the world, and put this off until he found his way home.” The corner of his mouth twitched. He’d suggest that to Ryder, and see what he thought of it.

  He pulled into the hospital lot. It was empty, mostly, and he immediately spotted Ryder’s truck glowing like a neon cherry under a lamppost. He gave in to the urge and parked next to it. Why? He had no idea, and he wasn’t in the mood to explore his gut feelings right this second.

  He entered the hospital and the security guard nodded. He nodded back and found the stairs to the second floor and strolled down the hallway in the opposite direction from the ICU. The waiting room was empty so he headed to the room with the number Val had given him. The place was quiet, the lights dimmed except for the under-counter lights at the nursing station.

  “Mr. McLairn.” One of the young nurses stood.

  “Hi. Anything new on my dad?”

  She typed in her laptop. “Good news. The doctor has a stress test scheduled for tomorrow morning, and if all goes well, your father should be released around dinnertime.”

  “That is good. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Her smile said he’d be welcome to a lot more, if he was willing.

  He just walked away. His days of accepting offers of sex from women he didn’t know were over. He’d work to keep Tracy by his side, and if things didn’t shake out right, goddamn it, he’d work even harder.

  He pushed open the wood door of his father’s room.

  His father stopped talking, and Ryder looked over at him.

  “Sorry.” He backed up a step. “I’ll sit in the waiting room until you’re finished.”

  Angus gestured with one hand. “Nonsense. Come in here and close the door.”

  Steele froze. This was the first time Ryder, Dad, and he had been in the same place together.

  Two sets of eyes, shockingly the same color green, stared at him. The tension in the room thickened as no one moved.

  What the fuck was he afraid of? Grow a pair, Steele. Deal with your life.

  He closed the door, drew a chair up next to Ryder, and sat. “Can’t say as I’ve been looking forward to this moment, gentlemen.”

  Ryder cracked a smile, and his father let out a laugh and smoothed down his thick, salt-and-pepper hair. “Boys...” His father pressed a button and with a metallic buzz, the head of his bed rose. “We’ve got us some talking to do.” He lifted a bushy eyebrow. “While I wish we had a ni
ce bottle of Scotch, we’ll have to make do without.”

  “Never had a taste for Scotch.” Ryder set one ankle atop his other knee.

  “Och, we’ll get you some of the good stuff, aged thirty years or more. You’ll grow to like it, son.” Angus stopped and looked at both of them, as if he’d just realized what he’d called Ryder.

  His brother cleared his throat. “That got us to the meat of the topic.”

  Steele cleared his throat and grunted. His blood pressure rose a bit. It was all out there, now. “I’ve got a question.” He looked at his dad, then at Ryder. “For both of you.”

  Angus squared his shoulders. “Have at it.”

  Ryder didn’t move.

  He stood. He had to pace before something inside him boiled over. “Did you know about this before Gwen’s will was executed?”

  “No.” Ryder looked him dead in the eye. “I swear I didn’t.”

  He could almost believe him. Almost. Steele looked at his dad. “You?”

  “You’ve asked me this before and I’ve answered you with the truth.” His eyes narrowed to slits. “This is the last time you’re allowed to ask me this, son, dae ye ken?”

  He knew Angus was serious when he used Scottish. Steele was just as serious. He’d give it right back. “Aye, faither, ah ken. The last time I ask.”

  “Um.” Ryder put his leg down and sat forward. “What?”

  “Ken, means understand.” Steele didn’t look away from his dad’s glare. “And faither means father.”

  The silence in the room grew stifling.

  “I did not know about Ryder until this spring.” He made a fist. “I swear. On your mother’s grave, Steele.”

  The air left Steele’s lungs like he’d been gut-punched.

  Angus’s eyes watered as he looked back and forth between his sons. “Never before have I done that, Ryder me boy, but I do this before both of you so you’ll know I speak the truth.”

  No one moved. Steele had to force air into his lungs. “Dad, I...” He was a rotten son, making Dad feel the need to do something that extreme, but the man knew how to get his point across. He believed Angus told the God’s-honest truth.